Void and soul

Right now for a monogamous relationship? I want a woman who is into self-imprpvement, preferably spiritual but at least most have a positive attitude and respect toward my spirituality, compatible personality, non-toxic and very physically attractive to me. Inteligence is a must and so is a compassion. In the short term? I want to fuck at least once with a woman that physically is 10/10 with whom I am compatible enough to enjoy the courting process. I think my current LTR requirements while not imposible to find the odds are against me, especially since I am a 5'0" guy. Because of this my current priority is women more of the short term type in order to get that desire out of my system. TLDR; right now I just want to fuck my crush, then focus on the long term.

Name: Sebastián Martínez Age: 30 Gender: Male Location: Santiago de los caballeros, Dominican Republic Occupation: Writer, translator, and SEO. (Used to be a civil engineer) Marital Status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: Video games, writing, meditation, reading, biodanza (not doing it right now because the biodanza class is close since the pandemic began), I also make aluminum foil hats for fun (and wear them). I got into personal development in 2010 while I was going to college when I stumbled upon Seth Pagan dating material and he made me realize that I, despite being shy and awkward and only being 5'0" could become attractive by working in my inner game. . At that time I didn't get much evident progress but that planted some seeds that would become important later on. In 2015 I got diagnosed with Crohn disease with made me feel betrayed for my body and I began having thoughts along the lines of "I only have this chance at life and now I have a chronic disease and so my only chance is ruined" this proved not to be true since despite how drastic was my second flare (I had another one before on 2014 but didn't get diagnosed) I would have 5 years of perfect symptomless remission, but what matters is how that planted the seeds of spirituality in me and opened up my way into the idea of "this is finite life is not the entirety of you" and "there are ways to be happy even if your body decides not to contribute". In 2016 I began my career as a civil engineer and for my first and only civil engineering job (that would last almost 5 years) I spent 1.5 years on a very rural area where I didn't have much of a chance to date or socialize which were my two main weakness, and I didn't know how to exit my situation and feared being so far away for a long time, but then by the end of 2017 I got sent to work by the city and I appreciated so much the opportunity that I socialized A LOT and in doing so I expanded my social circles and made good friends including a woman who is today my best friend since 2018. In 2019 I began using MDMA for self-improvement (always making sure to wait at least 3 months between uses), and on October 12 of 2019 I had my 3rd MDMA experience which was incredibly transformative to the point of reducing my fear of abandonment, understanding by heart (not simply by logic) that my friends do love me; the emotional trio comprised by jealousy, envy and comparison with others also got deeply reduced, and from then on I am a much happier and less anxious person. This began a new stage in my life Personal challenges I've overcome: -Defeated multiple voices/forms/sources of anxiety -Went from having no real friends to having many close friends that I cherish and who share a big chunk of my vision -Changed careers -Learned to love mindfulness -Went through Crohn flare a third time during the pandemic and processed a lot of issues in the process. -Cleaned up the background anxiety that was ever-present on the background of my mind and all over my skin in the form of tension. What I'm working on now: -Getting a stable source of income so I can get into Yoga class, buy the life purpose course, spend money on SEO learning, buy a simple but reliable car and move to Cabarete. -Improving my social skills and become more confident -Defeat social anxiety and learn sexual confidence and charisma

I suppose that the difference is that fake compliments and genuine compliments are accompanied by a very different body language and energy.

The point is that actinh in a more attractive way will be not authentic at the begin ing but will become authentic with time. Yes, this mean that you will fail a many times before it begins working. Another thing is that there is not a single way of being attractive, there are different styles. Look up for different people that are considered to have game and imitate the ones that appeal the most to you.

I think I understand where you are coming from but here is the thing, I want to do other things besides that. In the COD example the problem is that once that is done there might not be much to do in that game but in the game of life if you for example reach that state quicker through a substance you can then dedicate your time to other stuff. In my case for example I want to lose fear of death because I think FoD is the origin of most if not every anxiety. If I were to reach that state now or at least sooner rather than later, I could enjoy my life so much more.

Always with friends. Based on my experience the best setup is likely to be two people, you and someone close to you, be it one of your closest friends or your partner. I was writing an in-detail answer but I realized that is going to be very long so I am going to give you the short answer here but later on I will post my entire experience in detail as a Thread/guide. So, short(ish) answer: My social anxiety didn´t got totally fixed because anxiety often has many facets and manifestations and triggers/ sources, but some of the most burdensome forms of anxiety either got obliterated or greatly diminished. My 1st experience was more an introduction, me getting to know the substance but it also planted some seeds. It made me realize that under my traumas and life wounds, the confident and charismatic person I was when I was a child is still inside of me , waiting to be rescued. The other good thing I got from that was observing my anxiety without it flooding my mind as it had often done. This motivated me to begin going to therapy and journaling about my anxiety with a system related to CBT. I had a mission: rescue my inner child My 2nd experience mainly did two things, one was giving me the ability to establish boundaries and stand out for myself without fearing disagreement so much. The other thing was planting a seed for my 3rd experience. My 3rd experience provided me the most dramatic change yet. It took away my fear of abandonment and inability to fully understand on an emotional level that my friends truly love me and that I am interesting and lovable. Before that day I used to need constant reassurance from my friends, after that I got dramatically more chill and laid back about it, I began trusting, I didn't need frequent words or gestures to know. It also greatly reduced a trio of anxieties that I called the ECC (Envidia, celos y comparación con otros , in English Envy, Jealousy and comparison with others), and it somewhat reduced what I call PUMCOTEAT which are acronyms that in English translate to "Why would a woman with options choose you? " (short for, why would a woman that hot be attracted to you when you are so short and awkward). PUMCOTEAT is still there in my mind but it isn´t as hostile and recurrent and constant as it was before. My 4th experience was more about my mind-body connection, it allowed me to be more on my body and less on my head and it increased my love for meditation and mindfullness. My 5th experience was a year after the 4th. This one felt much more subtle than the others and is still too early for me to say what it did, but I can feel the seeds it planted. All this things help my social anxiety in a way or another. I don´t know when my 6th will be (maybe as soon as by the end of October or as late as whenever I feel is the right time) but this time I am looking to do it on a very social setting, ideally a festival with plenty of people that I know as well as plenty of people that I don´t know. I am looking for the perfect occasion and my intention is going to be to explore myself as a social being more. Of course, I have gone through a long preparation, the idea is to first try to do what you want sober , grind it for a while then see what happens when you do it on M. Doing work before and after the MDMA is essential for results. You can see this in how MDMA has been used for PTSD. The way they do it is 12 weekly therapy sessions. First 3 sessions are normal sober therapy, 4th session is under MDMA. On the second month it is done the same way with 3 weeks sober and the last one under MDMA. Third month the same thing. In my case, I have done it slower because my case is not as serious as it is with severe PTSD and I prefer to let my brain rest and get plenty of time to process and practice the life lessons I get from each experience. It is recommended to wait at least 3 months between uses, ideally more. Lasting effects. Of course, lasting effects rarely come from just taking a pill, is important to do prep work and follow-up work. In my experience MDMA is like a blender, it can only give you what you put on it. MDMA is a very docile substance, meaning it will mostly do whatever you choose to do with it, this is its weakness and its strength. LSD and psilocybin are more likely to do their own thing in a way, which is their weakness and their strength... but still, I would say even in that case the prep work and follow up are important.

Both have a lot of potential when used properly, but they are very different. MDMA has been great for treating my social anxiety and some self-esteem issues. It taught me to have clear boundaries and stand for myself. It eliminated in me a form of anxiety related to the fear of abandonment that I had. I used to know on a logical level that my friends loved me, but at the same time, I had this emotional sensation of my friends not loving me (despite the many obvious signs that they did) with resulted in me needing frequent reassurance or else a feeling of imminent abandonment grew in me; after my 3rd use of MDMA that anxiety got obliterated. Another thing that MDMA did for me was establishing a better connection between mind and body and increased my love for meditation and being in my body. This was groundbreaking considering that I used to be the "always in his mind" type. I have only done LSD once and, the dose was not that intense, but it did feel promising. That little taste was enough to let me know that if I go deeper with it I can unravel many gifts. Regarding how they feel: MDMD is shorter objectively but also subjectively since it tends to make time fly by. LSD is twice as long but also makes time feel slower with can result in a sensation of "woooow, I can do so many stuff and have so many epiphanies in a single session". The train of though is different on both and MDMA is more similar to shrooms than to LSD except that MDMA is more energetic than shrooms. Speaking of stimulation, LSD would be the middle grown between MDMA and shrooms in regards to feeling energized. There are more differences but they are hard to describe... I would suggest doing both (one at a time, only do candy flip when you have some experience with both substances) but making sure to test them before hand and using it only if you can find the pure substance and not an adultered one. For your first time with MDMA, I suggest doing it with one or two close friends that really care about you and you about them (I find one friend is much more meaningful and intimate than two friends), although it depends on what do you want to get from it. If you are suffering from social awkwardness and want to get out of the shell then maybe doing it at a party is a good idea but make sure to go to parties sober a few times before doing that and also after that to integrate the experience. I would also recommend taking notes during or immediately afterward . For LSD I suggest doing it either alone with a trip sitter nearby, or with a close friend (and ideally a trip sitter nearby). I don´t recommend doing it at a party unless you are microdosing.