Consept

I'm gonna link a video below from the cut about situationships as an example. I'm going to speak about myself personally here as a way to get a bit more internal clarity. So I find myself falling into situationships, it's almost by default and I wonder why that is. What I mean by that is I enjoy obviously having a sexual relationship with someone, I enjoy them loving me and I love them as well and like doing things with them, even travelling etc but when it comes to the full commitment or steps moving forward like moving in, I don't want to do it. I'm honest about this with them so it's not like I'm saying I want to marry them etc but we get stuck in this limbo. Now I've come up with some reasons for this, one is a bit self-indulgent but it's I have an avoidant attachment type, which makes sense and because of my childhood, parenting, not seeing healthy romantic relationships it does make sense and is probably a factor. Another is I just haven't met someone who I really liked and they really liked me. Every situation has been outweighed where, although I've been very attracted to them, they seemingly love me more than I love them, in that they would be willing to settle down with me, whereas I'm hesitant. I could see a world where if this was more aligned I'd be more inclined to settle down. When I look at the partners I had in retrospect it probably wouldn't have been ideal to settle down with them, not that they were bad, we just didnt match on some key stuff. Third is that I prize attraction above compatability. This has some truth to it as well. Attraction is definitely important but I don't think it can be the sole foundation of a relationship. The thing is great sex is really hard to let go, but it's so difficult building a relationship from that. So the dilemma I have is that is that situationships obviously feel I need of sex and companionships but they can be seen as unfair on the other side if the other side wants more, which is usually the case. It also limits both parties from finding a much more fuller, compatible relationship. On the flip though, what are you supposed to do to fulfill those needs if either you don't want a full blown relationship right now, or just haven't come across the right person yet? Also what if you're not really into one night stands which don't actually fulfill your needs very well anyway? Should you literally just abstain till you find the right person.

Ooh OK yeah that's a bit naughty 😂 But I guess it's the same as if I was just having sex with someone with no intention of a relationship. Or I dunno do you think it's on the same level? That's good, sounds like you've made great progress friendship wise. Tbh I think it is difficult to have a purely platonic but really close friendship between a man and woman, not impossible, but usually one side likes the other and wants more whether it's sex or a relationship. Also what I've noticed is if I do have a female friend I'm not really attracted to, as soon as they get a partner they're gone. That's really good, I feel the same in terms of being my authentic self, def wasn't easy but I can relate to what you're saying. Dam 😂 for real though sometimes there's too much synchronicity for it to be a coincidence, seems like it anyway. That's really cool though cos the parent blocks are the toughest, sounds like you're doing really well

Yeah I see this a lot, most girls I know, either dating or friends, always have some guys that are happy to give them attention in the hope that one day they'll see how great they are and suddenly be attracted to them. If it's someone I'm dating and for whatever reason I meet the guy, they automatically hate me lol. But I would say this is more a friendzone thing just because the no sex situation or it could be just a level above friendship maybe. On the flip I think the equivalent of the friend zone for women is the fuckzone. In both the person isn't really getting what they want but they still stick around regardless, which is what you're talking about in terms of self-respect. Yeah 100% I think I've made progress with it tbh, I used to be avoidant in both relationships and friendships lol definitely better with friendships, I'm actually surprised at the progress and relationships are improving as well but a bit slower. Do you feel like you've cleared your traumatic blocks?

Nah why, does it sound like that?

But whys that an issue as long as you're honest about it?

@LastThursday Thanks for your perspective When I say love me more that's not really detrimental to them, if anything it could be to me if I find it hard to let those emotions in or if I'm staying with and selecting partners that have this dynamic. But I like what you say about is it 'good enough' for both sides, that resonates and when you really think about its mind blowing the different dynamics that can happen between different people, to get all of that in sync is very difficult Yeah this is one thing I kinda overshoot on, I put all the responsibility on myself as if they're not also an active participant that is getting some of their needs met. No one has ever said I've manipulated them into it either, if anything I've probably been a bit too straight forward with the truth. So that's something I need to relax a bit on. I guess a situationship can be a bit of relationship people can feel stuck in or can stunt growth a bit because you're getting some needs met but you can't fully relax into it, there's always an elephant in the room Probably true 😂 Yeah this is true, I have met girls before and just kinda liked them instantly, but for one reason or another it didn't really work out. I do think it's worth not forcing things and just letting things flow naturally Why do you say it's depravity?

😂😂😂 I believe you I've seen it myself, but I dunno I just couldn't do it at some point a wank just makes more sense

I don't actually agree with this, we want attention from women we find attractive but imagine if unattractive to you women, older women etc were aggressively hitting on you daily, people that you work with or family friends, whoever. It's extremely uncomfortable, it might be flattering once in a while but daily would be hell. It hasn't happened to me daily but it has happened and I honestly didn't like it, if I have no intention of wanting to sleep with them, it's just a complete inconvenience at best. There's a group of women that I interact with because of let's say a social club and I know they're attracted to me and they are attractive but they have partners. In all honesty it is flattering but also a bit awkward, I wouldn't change cos it's a nice ego boost and it's not that much of an issue but if you extrapolate that to multiple situations I don't think it's something you'd really want. But then on the flip having no one attracted to you is probably worse. Point is I think men think it's all roses and you'll just fuck everyone given the chance but it's not as clear cut as that

I think there is almost a jealousy amongst men because in essence women have such an abundance of sexual options that they can even sell the idea of you being with them, whereas a lot of men might have trouble attracting even one woman. So its like the pain of wanting something so bad and not being able to have it or just having it these very transactional ways. On the flip women might have trouble getting a good man who actually loves them for them and not their physical assets. Ultimately both sides do want love but i think a lot of the time this dynamic prevents it from happening, its difficult cos if you think about it biologically this is what is supposed to happen, men are supposed to be horny bastards and try impregnate as many women as possible and women are supposed to only select the best men with the best genetics they can, what weve done as a society is find a way where men can have the feeling of having sex with many women without actually doing it, through porn. Women in this case have found a way to monetise it, actually it was always monetised just more by men previously. Women can also have access to higher value men through social media or dating apps. I wonder if this is just the logical conclusion to techno-capitalisms affect on dating

Heres a question or thought experiment for my fellow dudes - Lets say its some parallel universe and theres a market for you to do Only Fans and make 5x or even more than you make now, for putting up sexy pictures and videos, would you do it? Really think about it, lets say youre on 20k and you can get 100k doing this content, what would you do? Also do you think a lot of guys would do it?

This is just clip but it's live now

I mean you definitely messed up here, you went to meet the dog, sounds like the dog didnt even attack it might have done a lunge to play and you misinterpreted it and just attacked. As everyones said its very rare for a golden retriever to just attack like that. Also if you were feeling anxious and thought it was a pitbull, why would you approach especially if it was off lead and you had another small dog. I think you've got to learn from this and weigh up the potential danger in future situations, i dont think youll go to jail, maybe get a fine or community service but i would also try and make amends with your neighbors because they and their dog, havent really done anything wrong here

@BlessedLion I think its kind of like how humans are attracted to sugar, it tastes so good to us because we would get it in very limited quantities in nomadic, tribal days. Now its abundant and capitalism has used it to sell us more and more, manipulating our natural attraction for it but of course leading to numerous health problems. This is the same with sex, previously it would only be members of our tribe that we ever see or maybe a few outsiders, now we can see any type of girl we want naked at anytime and we're programmed for this to be extremely exciting for us, essentially for the purpose of procreating. This is and always has been exploited by the sex industry. The difference now is the delivery method is easy to make and very easy to consume. Capitalism is ruthless, it doesnt care about the well being of the consumers. I think its potentially a step up from pimps or porn studios exploiting women but yes men are being fully manipulated. Theres even a funnel of having a little scroll on instagram, you maybe hover over an incredibly beautiful latina girls picture, you then get bombarded with that girl and other similar in increasingly more revealing images. You look at one of their profiles, you see they have an only fans thats only $5 for the first month, you sign up and start engaging and get addicted to seeing her new image and videos everyday. Its basically a one sided relationship that you pay for. But you can see the tactics to lure guys in. @Princess Arabia can defend it as she does but in my mind theres no doubt its a manipulation, there are many businesses that are manipulations btw. But with this i think men lose a lot more than just the money. I think women also lose a bit of humanity as well, they basically become con artists in a way, theres a lot of pretending going on. I also think theres a quite toxic thing people do where they blame people that get scammed, its like with Tate where his fans blame the girls that he got to do sex work, or blame the guys that he convinced were gonna meet the girls and gave him 10s of 1000s. The whole point of a scam is to fool you into doing something, it doesnt mean youre not responsible as you have to take responsibility and learn from it but you were fooled into doing it, usually by big promises or selling a dream.

Hey 🙋🏾

We all know what's been happening since Trump took office and it seems to be going toward a total takeover from Trump, his loyalists and these billionaire tech owners as well as the project 25 Christian autocrats. It feels like he's putting all the pieces together or someone behind the scenes is using him to put the pieces together. What is the end game with this, will America essentially become a dictatorship? How will that affect the rest of the world. Mt feeling I that Trump is essentially for sale, which is why Israel are happy with him, why project 25 are happy and of course the billionaires. I'm not sure he has any super vision aside from getting as much power as possible and then auctioning off to the highest bidder to get access to it. I feel quite worried about it in a way I've never really felt before. We learn about dictatorships and how they happened in the past and I always assumed we as humans esp in the western world would never go down that road again, yet here we are. We know this doesn't work and leads to pain and suffering yet we bumble down the road anyway. I understand why it's happening in terms of the media landscape etc but are people worried as well? What can we even do to stem this or is it case of just let the cycle play out?

They did say those things and the cases were thrown out of court, Trump didn't accept it and still doesn't that's the whole point, he phoned them trying to get them to 'find' votes, before he had any type of evidence. He convinced his followers of all of this, that is the problem.

According to court case that went to the supreme court he does indeed have criminal immunity for acts as the president "Trump v. United States, 603 U.S. 593 (2024), is a landmark decision of the Supreme Court of the United States in which the Court determined that presidential immunity from criminal prosecution presumptively extends to all of a president's "official acts" – with absolute immunity for official acts within an exclusive presidential authority that Congress cannot regulate such as the pardon, command of the military, execution of laws, or control of the executive branch. The case extends from an ongoing federal case to determine whether then-President Donald Trump and others engaged in election interference during the 2020 election, including events during the January 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol. It is the first time a case concerning criminal prosecution for alleged official acts of a president was brought before the Supreme Court." For one he was claiming it was rigged before the election even took place. Second it wouldn't be for the side saying it wasn't rigged to provide evidence, they're not making a claim, if he's saying it's rigged he would have to have evidence, which he didn't have as proven in multiple court cases, including against Fox news paying nearly 800 million to voting company for lying about election fraud. If I make a claim that you're a pedophile and have absolutely no evidence, it's not for you to.even defend it, I have to present evidence or get sued and possibly prosecuted for defamation. If the people Jan 6th thought it was rigged that would've been directly from Trump, there is no other reason they would've thought that. Trump had no evidence esp not before the election. So he has instigated the events, at best its incredibly irresponsible, at worst it's a treasonous attack on democracy for him to stay in power

No i disagree, one point you might be right on is the criminal case hasnt gone to court yet and he hasnt been found guilty... yet. But in this case where there is overwhelming evidence, I think it would make sense to postpone the election until the result of the court case, not delay it so that he can still run. Whats also troubling is now hes basically granted immunity for anything he does in the future while in office, meaning in theory he could do the same thing and not even be prosecuted for it. I have no problem with any leader saying the election was rigged, the issue is you have to have actual evidence, Trump had no evidence and this was proven countless times in various court cases. The fact that he even started talking about the election being rigged months before the election even took place, should tip you off that this was a calculated measure to stay in power by creating doubt about the election. If the roles were reversed I'd 100% say the same thing, no one who illegally tries to subvert a democratic election should be allowed to run, especially when its done through violence. I dont think you can have a functioning country where people can just attempt to overthrow a government and there not be any consequences, to me thats crazy

He didn't 'hear' there was fraud, he'd been saying for months before that if he loses it would be because of fraud, basically priming his audience to believe that it was stolen even before the result. There was no evidence for it as was proven in multiple court cases. His intention was to delay the certification of the presidency so he could hold on to power and use the fake electors to overturn the result. It's the first time ever the certification has even been delayed. The facts are as well if the rioters had got hold of the politicians they definitely could've hurt them, they were literally shouting to 'hang Mike pence'. Also while all this was going on Trump just watched it and didn't tell anyone to leave despite pleading from even his kids to call them off. All of this is completely treasonous and it's come full circle because he's pardoned everyone involved, why are people that attacked police allowed to walk free? I thought blue lives matter? This isn't rage bait, these are all facts, if this happened anywhere else I would condemn it as well. If this ever happened in the UK I'd probably fight back myself. Imo you're biased toward trump and making excuses whilst trying to look objective, to wave away Jan 6th like it was nothing just doesn't make sense to me. At the very least someone involved in that should not be allowed to run for president again but yet here we are. But listen I'm not gonna go back and forth with you, if you believe all this is fine that's your opinion. I'm sure there are lots of great Republican people, I have nothing against them, but I disagree that people like Trump care about anything but enriching themselves at the expense of other people.

@Hojo I was an analogy, I was making the point you can't just get anyone and they should be qualified, but I agree I don't think a country should be run as a company. However it may be the case in the future, even now China is kinda run like a company and is very successful. Tbh Trumps presidency is run more like a mafia, his main criteria for recruiting to positions of power is loyalty to him, while also working on ways to enrich himself. If he was doing at as a stage orange company that's one thing but he's running a stage red operation.

I mean I get your point but also not really, in most businesses you'd want someone who'd always worked in that field to be promoted within the field. For example if you had an IT company and wanted to appoint a ceo you'd want someone who either worked in IT all their working life and rose through the ranks or someone who had been a ceo at other similar companies, you wouldn't just airdrop in someone with no experience in the field but happens to be famous, like you would t really want the Rock. It might fun and exciting but I don't think it would help your business. President is a job that the public vote for but being qualified for it is extremely important, but the public is not educated on what makes a good president then theoretically they could vote for anyone.

That is what's happened though and it literally happens all the time in developing nations sometimes to catastrophic results, Rwanda, Uganda, Nigeria, basically many nations in africa, south America and Asia have been plundered due to this type of corruption. America, everyone thought had guard rails on this, however this guard rails are really being tested by trump and Co. I thought they were strong enough, but as I said Jan 6th surprised me how close that was to really subverting the government. It's not done in the western world because it's hard to get that much support for a candidate that is capable of that, Trump is quite a unique character, I can't remember the last time or if there's ever been a time, someone like him has been president, in terms of a complete outsider, celebrity etc. I've heard this before but you're strawmanning me, I'm not saying he would necessarily assassinate anyone, but even this phone call is highly illegal and against the democratic process, what's worse is that he got away with it. If he keeps getting away with things like this who's to say what else he would try? Also this just happened to be recorded, I'm sure there's other things that are much worse that weren't. I'm not saying he rigged or would rig an election necessarily, we can just look at what he actually did which was the fake electorate plan, which was an attempt to subvert the democratic process in attempt to keep him in power after he's been voted out. This is the behaviour of someone with no respect for the democratic process. You're going to the absolute extreme of assassination or imprisoning opponents, he can't really do that in America because of the nature of the country but he's still trying to get to goal of having as much power as possible over the government in underhanded ways. So the intention imo is there, based on previous actions and current t actions, the only question for me is 'is it possible', I appreciate you're saying it's not but I'm just not sure it's so clear cut

I'm not American

Dictator may be a bit heavy but it would be more akin to Putins autocratic leadership. Rich people will welcome this if they get to be part of the oligarchy, (as happened in Russia) this enriches them even further as long as they go along with the leader, we're already seeing this with Zuckerberg and Bezos bending the knee to Trump, where they wouldn't have before. The people 'want it' because of distraction tactics. They're voting because of inflation or dei or trans issues, the oligarchy stuff is being pushed in the back door, no one would vote for it directly but they would vote for the other stuff. They've also done a great job at demonising the dems. The senators votes is fair enough within a democracy but remember Putin dissolved all these guard rails and has been in power for decades at this point. It's a different situation but there are definitely similarities

Obviously I didn't believe him, but I don't know about voters. The point I was making though is that he knows it looks bad which is why didn't admit it. Which suggests that he could go as far as necessary down this road. It's still early and the outcome of things like tariffs haven't taken effect. Most people just want their stuff to be cheaper. Also an approval rating doesn't mean that he is not a rising dictator, I'm sure Hitler was very popular even before he went to war. Essentially take over and the US become an authoritarian, facist country. The thing is we don't know how strong the guard rails are, they got tested to the max on Jan 6th and in fact he very nearly broke them, save for things like Mike Pence not doing what Trump wanted him to do, that situation could've got a lot worse.