Consept

Speaking on behalf of men on here -

I'm using it cos you used it OK be however you're being cos I'm sure every girl loves dumb debates about how you shouldn't be creep shamed. But also i cant get across how much i dont care about how you behave, i dont think ive got the vocabulary to fully explain how much i dont give a fuck

@mr_engineer Bro I couldn't care less if you want to be creepy, go for it, let me know what results you get from it

@Bobby_2021 What you're describing and what you dont like is the exreme of this ideology, which I completely get. What im trying to show you is that the extreme of any ideology comes across exactly the same. The extreme of the far right, qanon for example, comes across as completely insane. If you look at it from an overall perspective this will always be the case no matter what ideology were talking about, veganism, Christianity etc. As you brought up Christianity, there are also extreme versions of Christianity and they also wield a lot of power, they have banned books from school and many other acts of censorship. With woke ideology it wouldnt surprise me if the reporting on it heavily outweighed the impact and the people that subscribe to it. A perfect example is trans people, who are less than 1% of the population yet Conservative media talks about them an insane amount. This gives the perception to those caught up in the Conservative ideology, that trans people having rights is a massive threat to the country, in reality its barely relevant. Conservative media has worked out that if they talk about certain issues people will watch and so they give the more of what they want. Wokies as you say are annoying, so are qanon, so are Muslim extremists, so are fundamentalist Christian, so are scientologists, so are hard-core vegans, most of which considerable power and influence, question is why are wokist at the top of the agenda?

Yeah this is definitely an insecurity issue on his part, ultimately if you're with someone there has to be trust on both ends. If how you're saying it is accurate, whereby you're not going out often, not drinking etc then his fear around it seems over the top. Now to be sure, there could be reasons for this, maybe he was hurt in the past in this way or betrayed or something like that. It would be worth having an honest conversation where you try and get to the bottom of the issue and try and truly understand his perspective, even if you dont agree with it. If you have non-negotiables as you do , you need to be authentic with them, Otherwise you are essentially faking it to stay in the relationship. This builds up resentment at least from you to him and will not end well. If you try everything and he's still not getting it then unfortunately it may not work out long term, but if you think it's a worthwhile relationship then you should make every effort to work on it Bueno suerte

@mr_engineer lol he seems OK bro

I read it, the problem is solved op isn't gonna ask for photos of family and inside of house of someone he only just met for 5 mins going forward

Well thats what op is trying to learn and has gotten the advice he asked for

Agendas have always been injected through media, it is what it is. How many war films, action films with patriotic Americans defeating foreign terrorists, family films pushing nuclear families, this has been injected into media for years. There was even early media normalising slavery or black people in roles of servitude. Lots of right wing Conservative values have been injected into media as long there's been media, often to the detriment of the marginalised. If you want to be consistent you'd have to also accept this. Also keep in mind the right is still trying to do this, it's just that they don't have the pull that they once did and are losing the culture war. You only have to look at fox news or any right leaning media to see this. That doesn't mean that the left can't go to far, I can agree that there are some woke ideas that are just not really viable and even dumb but to say that this is just a thing the left is doing is very far from the truth. Keep in mind the extreme version of the right qanon, literally believes that the left are harvesting the blood of young people so that they can ingest it and gain youth, so crazy ideas are everywhere. In the age we're in no one has to be force fed anything, there a multiple options for the media you consume. So if Leo did do that then people would just stop watching him. But again this is no different from when the right gets criticised, if you went against abortion, gun rights, religion you would be shut down by the right. As I said there were rappers literally arrested because their lyrics were too sexual in the 90s and that era Conservative ideals were at the forefront. So my point is the exact same thing happens on both sides and its usually an excuse not to engage I'm real, good faith discussion with the 'opposition'. The right as you know it will die out probably in 20 years or so, they will not get into power, the new battle will be between center left and progressive left

No one called him creepy, they said what he did can come across creepy which he took as was intended. You're adding your own issues onto this

@bebotalk You're stuck on the demonisation of the left. What I'm directing you towards is that when the right was where cultural norms were more aligned with there was still a severe problem with censorship to the point where people were literally getting arrested for saying things that went against Conservative ideologies. Remember it was literally illegal to be gay in the western world up until the 60s and is still illegal in many countries in the world, so to dmsay that there wasn't censorship is far from the truth. What is happening is because the left is becoming more powerful, they have more power to censor those that don't align with them but don't fool yourself into thinking the right wouldn't do the same. You are more aligned with the right which is why you can't see this

That's amazing, you should be proud of yourself! You will find and probably have found, that once you make that shift and truly love yourself, you can now give freely. When you don't you'll always be in a taker mindset, as in you go into every situation in terms of what you can get out of it, or you feel like those around you haven't given you enough. You seem to have gotten into this giver mindset, when I say giver I don't mean just literally giving people money or whatever, I mean giving with your intention, your love, your compassion etc. People really feel that even if they dont articulate it, obviously in your situation your parents are feeling it and it's incredible you've reached that at a relatively young age!

Yeah essentially in your 20s ideally it should be an experimentation phase where you're just trying different things and seeing what sticks and what you enjoy. Most people in their 20s do a lot of partying as they feel that's what they should do because everyone does it, but as you mature you start to narrow down to what you actually like doing. Also I think in your 20s you want to really delve into any unaddressed trauma you might have or any mental issues and build up your self-awareness and self love. Essentially you want to make sure your ship is steady as you go further into life, from this perspective you will always make increasingly better choices as this improves. If you don't improve this and get into a routine, it will be harder to address the issues and then harder to get out of whatever situation you find yourself in. But as they say its all about the journey so enjoy it wherever it takes you

I think you always have to be authentic with whatever state you're in. What makes you not want to go is that you don't want to exert the energy it takes to force yourself to be upbeat. But if you just let yourself be whatever you are in the moment it takes a lot of pressure off. Also 9 times out of 10 if you do something fun with someone cool, your state will change for the better anyway because your mind is being occupied. It's harder to go into it from a negative state but I don't think you'll regret it

I dunno, just giving dictator states land when they start invading hasn't really worked out well in the past

Here's the thing in any culture group, there will always be the extreme 1 or 2% who treat the ideology as a religion. What happens in modern day is the the one side will often try and paint the whole opposing side as that 1 or 2% extreme. Conservatives are particularly good at this, which is why a lot of their focus and policies are based on 'battling wokisim', they're portraying a threat that even if it is there is no where near as extreme as they're making out. Someone said before in the thread that the 90s were a good balance and we were more free, this is completely misguided. You could not talk about gay issues or trans issues or even racial issues freely, you would get shut down by conservatives. Hip-hop music was constantly battling censorship, there were protests all the time to silence NWA, 2 Live Crew etc where members were literally arrested because of sexually explicit lyrics. The whole reason there is 'explicit content' sticker on physical media is because of this censorship. People tend to paint the 90s as some ideal time when everyone could say what they want, it's just not true. The only difference was the right ideals were more prominent, as in more of the population had a conservative mindset. Now the window has moved to the liberal mindset starting to be more dominant. Which of course the right is scared of and so they have to strawman the left and over exaggerate the threat so that you vote for them and they can save you from big bad wokism. All the republicans running for office have used wokism to campaign, they're not stupid, they know their potential voters are scared about it, there's probably market research companies who can would've worked out that most potential voters see wokism as the biggest threat to America. So the candidates play it up as if they can 'solve' this exaggerated problem, they would've saved america. Its nonsense, but they are good at it.

I can imagine it mustve been very tough, but also keep in mind a lot of people dont have good guidance when theyre growing up whatever their situation. Your situation is less well understood by your parents generation but so are a lot of mental health issues and challenges of growing up in the world as it is. Point being dont beat yourself up, it wasnt your fault but now, as an adult, it is your responsibility if you want to make the most of your life. The flip of what youre saying though in is that lets say hypothetically you werent really trans but had other issues and thought you were trans and then took hormones and changed your body, you may later have regretted that and blamed your parents as well, which is the case in some situations today.

haha I was gonna reply to him but i cant be bothered to get into a stupid debate, i dont know how he comes up with his takes

Yeah its a great way to debate in good faith, if you notice most debates online including here on the forum, will take the oppositions point and make it the most extreme version of it and then argue against that exaggerated point. So it'll be something like 'Wokism wants to inject kids with hormones' the reality is most people on the progressive left probably dont agree with that but they do want equal rights for trans people, but if you dont believe in equal rights for trans people its hard to argue that they shouldnt have rights, its easier to say the whole movement is crazy because of this extreme view. To be clear this does happen on both sides but i think its really good practice to try and argue the best points from the other side, even if you still dont agree you would have more emapthy and understanding for their position.

I was gonna post this myself, Trump does not give a fuck about black people. This story and the fact he still refuses to apologise it is a great example of this. Not only that there were a lot of issues with him not allowing black people to rent his places - https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/28/us/politics/donald-trump-housing-race.html I dont think hes necessarily racist in a way where he has nazi or white supremacist beliefs, I dont think he has any beliefs in fact, aside from what can give him status and money. If black people can help him do that he will be 'on their side' like with Kanye West. But his main voting block is almost at direct odds with the black community so his no incentive to win their vote, in fact i remember the last election his speech to win over the black vote was along the lines of, 'your situation is crap already so what do you have to lose, you might as well vote for me'. Some black people like him, because he represents the american dream of getting rich and capitalism, which is prevalent in certain strands of hip-hop, but i couldnt think of a worse representative of climbing up the ladder and making your fortune on your own. But no he has not and will not benefit the black community if he does it would be by pure chance not intention.

What you guys should contemplate is what are the positives of 'wokism'? In most cases the term used to demonise the progressive left, its kind of like dismissing all conservatives as maga, qanon, Trumpists. That is the real test of critical thinking when you can steelman a position you dont agree with, rather than strawman it.

You guys act like 40 is the end I'm 39 so I guess the end is near for me, but i actually think they can be the best times of your life if you've been improving and working on yourself leading up to it. When I was young I felt a lot more lost, anxious, scared of life, I didn't know myself that well. Now I'm so much more comfortable in my own skin, I do things I want to do, I've started learning an instrument and started a band, I've started a local football team, I volunteer for a charity, I have a business much better relationships and I just enjoy these things. When I was younger I was just worried about what I should be rather than what I actually want. So I think the clarity is a big gift and I also feel like I need to make the most of things, before I felt like I'd be young forever.

Exactly, ultimately if you like someone you would want to share things with them eventually but of your own volition. Tbh even if a girl id just met asked me that out of the blue I'd be a bit weirded out. I guess the rule of thumb would be never ask for a picture but if you yourself feel comfortable you can share something with them, as long as its not a dick pic

The incel mindset is a victim narrative and ideology that is used to absolve responsibility from the person for their inability to attract a female. Meaning they blame society and women specifically rather than looking at what they can do and the reason why someone might not be attracted to them. Where I might sympathise with them, is society does give you the message that sex and relationships are so easy to attain and so rewarding. The general message is that if you don't get a date, you're a loser or if you're not married with kids you're a loser, which can easily make you feel depressed if you don't get these things. Also, unless you have a healthy masculine role model who can teach you positive mindsets and practical ways to talk to women, you will be lost in how to actually improve. So much so it may seem impossible and when an ideology comes along that explains to you none of this is your fault and it's all because the distance between your eyes is too much or too little, you can see how attractive that might be. Essentially they feel hopeless and the ideology gives the message to embrace the hopelessness, further cementing it through different ideas about female nature etc, even if they don't have direct experience of challenging these ideas, they will still take them on. For example they will convince themselves that they're ugly even if objectively they're not, which for most of them is true. They'll also call any attempt to improve a cope. It's like having an ideology that there's nothing you can do about being fat, it might be true for some of them but the vast majority would be able to change it.