Consept

Ive kind of laid out the issues if youve been following what i was saying, but essentially its not really about guilting white people or victimizing black people. Its really just about raising awareness (as it usually is) of whats going on in terms of the system we live in, and also having an objective as possible conversation about whats going on without white people getting triggered and feeling guilty/angry or black people getting triggered and feeling like victims/angry. If i can give you a quick example in the US the 13th admendment states something like 'slavery is illegal except if the person is convicted of a crime', essentially meaning if youre in prison, legally you can be used as a slave. Now when you consider that many US prisons are privitised which means thry can sell the labour of the prisoners to other private companies. This means there is a financial incentive for prisons to lock as many people as possible (we all know how much of a driver capitalism is), this plays out in the fact that 25% of the worlds prison population are incarcerated in the US. So what happens if you have a system where there is a racial bias which plays itself out in statistically longer sentances for black people commiting the same crime? Right a disproportionate amount of black people getting locked and carrying out slave labour. In fact 1 in 3 black males has been imprisoned in the US at least once. Add to that the poverty etc etc (if you are interested in this check out the doc 13th on netflix). So you can see from my example this is a very real issue thats happening today, in fact more people are imprisoned now than there were sold into slavery when it was legal. We'd all like to think we'd do something about slavery if we were alive back then but worse is happening now and we sit back. So my overall point is i dont know what the exact solution is but i know its something we should address and not put our head in the sand about and i also think truly understanding where someone else is coming or what they might be going through is a step in the right direction to what you say and which agree with, that we all are one consciousness.

This guy does very interesting psychological breakdowns of game of thrones, you may have to be familiar with the show to fully appreciate it though -

Surly the best way to change your thoughts is to take action though. For example if i wanted to get better at dating, i could read books, go to the gym, meditate etc etc and then when i believe im ready i attempt to ask girls out. Or I could just do it maybe fail a couple times get better and keep doing it while also doing those other positive activities. Because im actually doing the action my sub-conscious is adapting and making this action more normal, reducing the fear, and im getting better all the time. If you check out the book outliers by malcolm gladwell he talks about most or pretty much all people who have become great at something have put in at least 10,000 of actual work in that field, for example the Beatles played live gigs for 3 years straight before they started getting big, bill gates was programming on computers for years from the age of 15. Point is mindfulness and all that will definitely help you but you need to take action on something, whether its your life purpose or not it could be something that brings you to your life purpose. I just see a lot of people focused on just being mindful, which dont get me wrong is very important but so is taking action as well, it has to be a balance.

Yeah i dont look at mainstream media anymore either, which is why i researched the issue for myself. Its amazing that even though i presented facts you still dismissed everything but this speaks to the point i was making, minorities have legitimate issues around being minorities but when the subject is brought up its just as quickly dismissed. So say you were an employer and one of your employees came to you with a legitimate problem around race, you would be, strictly judging from your posts, more likely be dismissive of their complaint as youll think they are playing the victim. Not saying youre necessarily wrong for thinking that, there are a lot of people that think that but then you extrapolate it out and it translates to a lot of minorities with concerns not being listened to. Whether you think they should be or not its obviously going to garner resentment by being dismissive of what are real issues for people. So this is where the problem really lies. On a personal level Id never blame this on me not getting anywhere in life, the question was asked and previously ive looked into it so answered, its not something i really focus on, but that doesnt mean it doesnt exist

All the stuff your saying is good, but it feels like you're just doing them because you feel thats what you should be doing and thats what will take you to a next level. It doesnt really work in linear way as you think, you wont get to a situation where you do all these things and then suddenly things change, mainly the reason for this being is thats what youre expecting to happen, so the desire is still there. What i would suggest is just do what you feel you enjoy and take action on that, so if its being a chef (just guessing from your avatar) then do all you can to make that happen, its always about the journey rather than the destination because the journey is all you really have. Also all the habits youre building could be positive procrastination, in that you think you have to build up all these habits before you do the things you really want to do, forget that just do what it is you want to do. You can still do the habits of course but dont put anything on hold until youre happy with your habits

stroking over squeezing!

I like this question as well. The way I see it is like a glass you fill with water, if your glass is empty then youre always looking at ways to fill the glass, or in other words validate your ego. One of the big ways we use to fill this glass is through getting someone to 'love' us, so with your friend for example she 'loves' this person because they validate her ego but the moment that person doesnt in the way she wants its likely she would get rid of them. So to truly love, your glass would have to be full and overflowing, then you are able to love without expecting anything back because you dont actually need anything from anyone, your cup is already full. Maslow mentions this in the hierarchy of needs (cant remember the title right now lol), basically its to do with an abundant vs a scarcity mindset, so essentially youre either going through life taking or going through life giving. Taking can work in the short term, but really its all about giving

I think you're right the face of western civilization is white, you can take into account that the US, now a super power, was built with African slaves and immigrants, but i know that wasnt your point. So yes its likely that white people will be the default and favour other white at least sub consciously. But actually if you look around the world due to colonisation, slavery etc etc the default around the world is actually white, so for example in many parts of Asia, Africa, South America, its seen as more attractive to be lighter, so much so that skin lightening products are big business. Also Indias caste system puts the lighter skinned people at the top. This is because the white beauty ideal has been exported successfully around the world, which leads to the doll experiment i posted in the my first post. Also another issue is that there was a lot of money spent on anti-black propaganda in the last century which was quite overt, im sure youve seen the cartoons, Jay-z also mentions it and uses it for his 'story of oj' music video. Apart from this there were posters, films, adverts etc etc all showing black people as less intelligent animals, it was even in the US constitution that black people are 3/5's of a human being whatever that means. Point is people grew up with these ideas not that long ago, these ideas would have been foundational ideas for people who then passed it on to their kids, white people believing theyre superior sub consciously and black people believing theyre inferior sub consciously, which then plays out in something like the harvard bias test. Could also be argued that this anti black propaganda still persists today, shows like cops, talk shows, etc is not matched on the other side by positive black role models. But anyway i think youre right to extent but you cant ignore the mountains of evidence that show there is something else going on there, it doesnt make sense that a black five year old kid would think black people are ugly without something else at play. Not saying its a conspiracy necessarily but definitely something we need to be aware of and not sweep under the rug by saying its just something that happens. https://medium.com/school-of-doodle/a-history-of-blackface-and-anti-black-propaganda-in-american-cinema-and-television-b4db376b43f2 http://www.afrizap.com/en/skin-bleaching http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2016/01/dark-what-behind-india-s-obsession-skin-whitening

Hey man, fellow black man here lol A few years ago i really looked into what this subtle systemic racial preference/racism is about and where it originated from. Basically what your talking about is implicit racial bias, theres a test you can do called the harvard implicit bias test. Which basically tests peoples unconscious bias', not just on race but other factors, gender, disability etc, theres a separate test for each. Results wise what it tends to show is a huge majority of white people favour white people, which is to be expected but also has ramifications in the real world as most likely they will be the majority in the west, so most employers will be white, most writers, journalists etc etc. Thats not even taking into account that it would be harder for minorities to get jobs anyway. Whats also interesting about the test which speaks to your original point, is that more than half (not sure of numbers) of black people also are biased toward white people. You can take the test yourself here - https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html So what are the reasons for this? You have to get your head around that white people are the 'default' race, what i mean by that is they are the hero of the story, the main character etc. So just as a quick example, the program Friends is classed as a sitcom about 20 somethings in New York, if Friends had an all black cast it would be about black 20 somethings in New York and be seen as an 'ethnic' program. Other reasons are indoctrination from parents who may or may not have been even more unconsciously biased as the systemic racism may have been stronger for older generations. Schools play a part as you only ever hear about black people as slaves and servants in history rather than kings and queens which is what you hear about European history. This is despite that there are plenty of black kings and queens and empires, The Moors for example who ruled over Iberia in the middle ages (spain and portugal). The fact that you only know your ancestors to be slaves can have a very real detrimental affect on you. To be honest there are countless reasons but they are just all part of the system we currently living. For me it makes sense and i wouldnt say white people are even wrong for favouring other white people, we've all been indoctrinated to some extent, so i think really its about understanding that these are not necessarily truths, it isnt true that white people are inherently 'better' genetically than other races. Even if you feel that its about questioning that for yourself as a person of any race and coming to an actual conclusion. Also not being afraid of the question or of how it feels, i think these issues should not be shied away from as they will just fester and create more tension.

That i need to be rid of anxiety or any other natural feelings i consider negative to be able to be present

Ok so if we're are being an honest a big struggle im sure we all have is that we desperately want to get past our ego but we want to do it for egoic reasons. Even being on the forum attempting to give others advice is, im sure, a lot of the time because we think thats what we need to do to at least show that we dont have an ego, not just show it to others but also show it to ourselves. Really what we're fighting is the voice in our heads saying that 'youre just doing this to be free of me'. It seems in my own experience at least that ego is always there, sometimes more in the background, sometimes directly in the foreground and sometimes even disguised as the real me. The desire to be rid of it also has to come from ego because anyway you look at it being free from it is the ultimate ego boost and you could see it as being better than others. So it seems to me like a trap and a trap that im sure most of us fall into. In reality one would have to fully embrace their ego even embracing the knowledge that embracing it truly could also boost the ego. The reason we may not want to mention this is because we feel like any admittance to the strength of the ego means that we are further away from enlightenment or controlled by ego but whether you are or not denying it will not change that. So true acceptance is the way forward as hard as that is. The idea of enlightenment is actually an illusion. Anyway just some thoughts please add to my ego by replying

Ok well thats cool, i would say if that is the case youre basically enlightened.

Completely agree, but would you say you're 100% not affected by the voice in your head?

By ego i basically mean the voice in your head that you may or may not consider to be you. So your self or perceived self at least. @Outer

Yeah personally i guess i would want a non dual experience but what is the difference between that and getting past your ego? (just interested in your opinion)

Your main problem seems to be that you think something external is going to bring you everlasting happiness. What you have to realise, and it maybe depressing, is that even if yoi get regular sex its only a momentary thing, in that you enjoy it in the moment and thats it. Depending on the relationship it can actually cause a lot more pain which cancels out the moments of sex. Youre also thinking of things in linearly logical way, essentially youre trying to solve the problem of you. So you think if i do martial arts, have a job, get a friend with benefits, then ill be happy, what you have to realise is thst there is only the process there is no ending. By doing this youre also reinforcing that youre not good enough as you are, youre saying to yourself that you need x y and z to be whole, which is not true. On a practical level you can say youre non-needy but reading your post this is what youve built up as your salvation so im pretty sure you do come accross as needy to girls. It may just be sub conscious but girls are a lot more intuiative when it comes to these things. So the paradox is once you really stop caring about validation from girls youll most likely get a lot more interest. Also youre def not genetically unable to attract a female, part of the problem is you think you are, you have to understand its not easy for anyone really, youre not unique, everyone has their own issues. So what i would work in if i was you is realising you are enough as you are and truly developing non neediness

I am calm lol, im just pointing out that you cant deny the ego. Do you feel differently to what ive mentioned?

I agree with @PetarKa and its something I've said to myself before. The life purpose thing is a fair point but i do feel that the better your consciousness the more clear your life purpose will be, if you are relatively unconscious your life purpose will be skewed and may not be a true reflection of you. So a certain level of consciousness is needed to even have a life purpose. Ultimately though once your consciousness is at a high level you will shift from the idea that 'you' need to become conscious and you will just be focused on contribution, but i think all this will unfold as its supposed to so all you can really focus on is maximising your consciousness

When you do something new and potentially, at least to you, life changing like moving to a different city, starting a new career path etc, your brain automatically gives resistance. You have to remember your brain is pretty indifferent to the method but its number 1 priority is to keep you safe, so if up until now youve just had a non-challenging easy job, youre safe, but to question that and go in another direction results in fear because to your brain youre taking a risk that could potentially result in something bad, just because its a step into the unknown. So there is no avoidance of this fear, if you choose to do something new it will be brought up within you. What we tend to do to combat this on the level of mind and logic is we assume that because the fear is there we're not ready, so we do what you could call positive procrastination, where we study everything there is to know about what we want to do in the hope that it would reduce the anxiety we feel and we can then take action. Obviously as you know this doesnt work at all, ive done it myself before and i know people whos whole life is basically preparing to take action on something they really want to do. So the problem with this is not only does it delay how long it takes to get started but also in a lot of cases the only way to really learn and become an expert on something is to just do it. If you want to be good at a video game theres no point in just reading the strategy guide, you have to actually play the game. Thats not to say some theory wont help, it will but it has to be balanced with action. The trouble with this whole enlightenment thing is that its the ultimate procrastination, if you are waiting til that happens then your missing the whole point of it. Really you have to live your life now, there is no future salvation, however you feel now with all your doubts, fears and whatever else you have to embrace them and do whatever you feel you need to do. Any avoidance or attempt to fight them will just be taking time that you could be working on what you need to be.

I dont think you should look to be aggressive in life mainly because if you are aggressive you are either a) completely not in control of your emotions or b) putting on a show by pretending to be aggressive because you think thats how you should be which then takes you down a road of inauthenticity. Someone said learn how to fight and i think this is a good idea, if you notice with fighters (boxing,mma etc) unless theyre very egotistical they would hardly ever actually get into a street yet they most likely have countless people calling them out. This is because they have an inner confidence and inner belief that if it came down to it they would actually do this drunken guy whos abusing them, real damage if they were to attack, so the discipline they learn through training also actually gives them a certain empathy for this guy which they are in touch with because they are no longer triggered by this behaviour. A lot of the time when people get into conflict its usually just for show and to trigger you to see if you escalate the situation, if you show fear and back down then theyve essentially won the fight without fighting, (this is what many apes do, they very rarely fight). If you escalate because you feel you need to protect your ego and in some way 'prove' yourself, then they would either back down or fight you, chances are youll end up fighting because theyve triggered you because they think theyve got a decent chance. Now if with confidence you dont get triggered and remain calm because deep down you believe that you would do damage if you ended up fighting and calmly decline their attempts to trigger you then essentially you put out the fire because theyve got nothing to feed on. So i would say either learn to fight or just have utter belief in yourself and acceptance that if youve gotta fight youve got to fight. 9 times out of 10 if you can convey calmness theyll back down

My little brother is a bit like this as well so i know it can be tricky. I think its very important to realise that you are on your own path and you will have your own ups and downs that will be different to your friends and happen at different times. In terms of talking to him in an effort to change him, it rarely works unless the person want to change themselves and sees a problem in their actions. I think the main thing is not to take it personally, he obviously has some issues around not being good enough,which is why he wants to compete with you, you may have these issues to a lesser extent which is why you also feel the need to compete, but you could see it as a positive that hes brought out this in you and it gives you a chance to work through it. A lot of people can add value in your life by bringing out underlying issues and forcing you to face them and you should take advantage. Try and just be present when interacting with him and dont react to the triggers just watch them

Can you truly get rid of it though? You may realise and see it for what it is, but there will always be a monkey mind its just about not getting wrapped up in it or thinking its real. If you talk about how bad it is, it gives it power by saying its an actual thing. You can demote it to just noise

Personally i dont think it matters what you do as long as you are present while doing it. The reason we pick up so many 'bad' habits is because we want to distract ourselves from the present and our own minds. But if you can truly be present while doing the 'bad' habit it may no longer be appealing to you. For example when i go food shopping i try and remain present this makes it really hard to buy junk food (although i still do sometimes), similarly if you eat a Mcds consciously and actually taste it, youll feel how unreal the food tastes and probably not want to eat it again. So i think the thing is to just try and stay conscious while doing things not to actively drop things you, for whatever reason think are bad. How do you really know what to drop unless you do it yourself consciously? Theres no rules about what you can and cant do its just realising what youre using as a distraction from yourself

Sounds like youve been through a lot at 19. What i would suggest is to own what youve been through, drug issues say, and speak on that either through rap or whatever outlet, maybe even help out in a youth service or charity, but use what youve been through to provide a real dialogue with other people going through it. Dont worry if youre not completely where you want to be just speak from where you are and youll be surprised how many people you could touch

Yeah you might be right in that your issue is accepting the life situation, which sonething you need to do. But you seem to want to rid yourself of fear, even if its the fear of not always having fear, you cant get rid of it. Theres nothing you can do to get rid, real acceptance is fully understanding that, otherwise all youre doing is trying to think it away which actually powers it and makes it more 'real'. In an overall way anything youre doing to get rid of fear no matter how spiritual it looks will ultimately increase the fear because its non acceptance of it. You almost have to embrace it and love it but understand that it will always be there