Consept

@Parki its interesting the way you use the example. But i think its more like what everyone wants really is fulfillment, acceptance, meaning, validation which will give us peace of mind so we go toward whatever we've been brought up to think will give us these. We also have the paradigm that we obtain stuff whether its knowledge or material things. So using your example we might want a lambo but really what we want is validation which we think we'll get from having one, you may feel contentment for a little while but eventually it will fade maybe youll get bored of the car or it will get old or whatever but everything material is by nature temporary. So enlightenment is different in that it already its just that you dont realise it, thats the definition of being enlightened. So the journey to it is more of inward cutting away of what you have learnt already to see the truth, as opposed to a adding and chasing so eventually i realise. So when we talk about creating emotions its because you and im guessing most of us, are in the paradigm we were brought up in which is that of being unenlightened

When i stumbled on the gurus and channels like Leos it struck me that i could transcend my 'issues' by following certain things and cultivating habits that increase my awareness. Without going into it too much ive always had issues with anxiety and ocd, since taking this path ive had times when ive pretty much been free of these issues or at least become so excepting of them that they didnt cause any problems or symptoms. But it would always come back despite how much i learnt about it or why its there and how to get rid of it. So after talking to a friend about it, i realised that there were a lot of things that happened in my childhood that could lead to it overpowering me sometimes. So my question is do you have to deal with these issues, as in delve into your past or is it possible to be free of them by meditating, building up awareness etc?

Im reading a book at the moment called Sex At Dawn, which is about eveloutionary biology and looks into why we form the sexual relationships we do. (check it out if you get a chance) I havent finished it yet but a main theme explored is whether humans do pair bond for life, its universally accepted that we do. There was some interesting research into why this might not be true, ill just summerise a few points here - Out of all the primates only one other, the gibbon, mates for life, these are tree dwelling primates with tails and evolutionarily speaking are very far away from us Bonobos are the closest to us and apart from us are the only primate to have sex for pleasure (when the female is not ovulating) they mate freely with others in their tribe and all share parental responsibility even though there maybe no parental link. Females are also often head of their tribes In every human civilization ever studied there has always been sex outside of marriage (or marriage equivalent). Even when there has been the threat of death or harsh punishment, the argument being that if it was our natural state of being would such harsh punishments be necessary? Most untouched human tribes when researched by anthropologists reported quite open attitudes to sex. There were some tribes where no one actually knew their fathers identity and every male took a parental interest in the children. Some tribes had celebrations where the married females could choose someone else to mate with. Some of these still happen today in untouched tribes. Point being when left in nature humans dont tend to form strict monogomous pairings, although there may be a main partner there will also be others. Anyway just some points to think, its also interesting to bring up that the idea of 'romanticism' only really came about in western society in the 1800s and was brought about by literature. Before that marriages were mainly arranged and dependent on class and sharing of resources. So what do you think are we naturallu monogomous? Me personally as much as like the idea of freedom and at the moment i do try to practice that, there is something in me that feels like eventually a monogomous relationship is the natural end point, have i just been indoctrinated into this way of thinking by living in a western country Britain since birth?

Yeah i get what youre saying and i think at the root most religions start off as basically a way to get to oneness or god or whatever you want to call it. The problem is when say a religious experience is translated into language its no longer the religious experience anymore just someones interpretation. So this is why its important to just see anything anyone tells you as sign posts and not the actual experience, only you can experience that. The issue i have with religion in particular things like christianity is that they promise salvation in the future and make it conditional on what you do or what 'sins' you commit. Logically this doesnt make sense because if im born poor or into a criminal family its a completely different choice im making in comparison to someone born rich who doesnt actually need to steal. So for me its all about the control element when its put into practice. Also by claiming salvation is in the future it ensures youre never content in the now

@Everlast i would say your internal conflict would be from denying and avoiding as you say normal feelings. If you supress them i think its more likely to either cause you ongoing internal conflict or worst case lead you to act them out. If we're speaking evolutionarily i would say there are compelling arguments to say we're probably not naturally monogomous, but that isnt to say that you cant be i think its just important to realise where these urges come from and that youre not wrong for having them. As long its not fear driving you to be in a relationship and youre doing it from a real, authentic place then i dont see any problem with your situation

I think essentially sin is just something thats not true to you, that goes against what you feel is right. So there could be temptation ie to take advantage of someone for your gain but then you know thats not right and if you are aware enough youll get a feeling to that end. Organised religion is about control and the best way to get control is fear so if you label something which is a personal choice, say for example sex before marriage, as a sin, people will be in fear of their own natural urges

I think its more about becoming aware that language or descriptions of things arent the actual thing. For example if you label a tree a tree it almost serves as a way to dismiss that particular tree because youve already defined what a tree is, so you dont experience the individual tree for what it is. We tend to categorise a lot as humans which is why we make sweeping generlisations about race for example. As long as you make these generalisations youll always be stuck in the world you create around them and miss out on whats really there

Find a way to make money online, there are loads

Without using social and cultural conditionings, are there any arguments in favour of humans being naturally monogomous?

Hey @Emerald Wilkins. Thanks for the reply and some good points, just wanted to throw something in there. Its likely in nomadic times that humans would be part of tribes and you can see that now in certain untouched tribes in some countries. So the male of a couple wouldnt neccesarily have to be there to protect the mother and child because there would be other members of the tribe there to help, a lot of the times the older women would help out. But i think youre right in that there are neuro-chemicals that keep the father around. Its a relatively new development that humans just have their family as in mother, father, child(ren), we have actuallu become more isolated from each other despite the growing population.

Im not usually negative when people want to do something and in this case id still say try for yourself, but... Trading in stocks is very time and money consuming esp with something like day trading. If youre looking for long term investment its not that bad but in terms of trying to make a regular income it is hard, you do have to be in the top 10% and it can take years to do that with a lot of losses in that time. There are better options out there to make money online if you look around google. Also in terms of giving value to the world it doesnt fulfill you at all. If i did it i would invest in someone who knew what they were doing to advise or even join a fund. Not saying it to doubt you or anything but i would really look at all the options before you spend time on this.

The way i see love is interchangable with acceptance. I think to fully accept someone is to really love someone. Romance and romantic love is a specific concept and actually goes against my definition of love because its acceptance with conditions. So i love you if you want to have kids or if you want to settle down or if you look attractive to me. So its not really acceptance at all its just the ego wants to be fulfilled and it believes someone can provide that, if they cant then the love is gone. You dont have to neccersarily like someone to love them, theres plenty of parent/child where on a personal level they dont get on but there is a deeper love and that is due to understanding and acceptance of the other. If you extrapolate this out you could and should love everyone in that you can have empathy, understanding for everyone. But again that doesnt mean that youll like everyone and want to be around them. So what youre left with is choosing who you actually like to be around and just enjoying the moment with them, could be a few people, could be one person

What ive noticed just from being more aware, is that things like looks are really not that important and actually serve just to validate your 'self'. Once you take validation out of the equation who youre attracted to changes. That being said you can still be attracted to people for shallow reasons but youre just aware of why that is and then it becomes a choice of what you want to do. There does tend to be a bias where we think attractive people are more interesting, important etc and i think with a bit of awareness its quite easy to see through it. By the same token you realise that if you are sociatally attractive that youll need more than just your looks and if youre not your looks are not that important. Most answers to questions like this is just that you see through bullshit, i think deep down you probably knew it already but covered it up because of fear or whatever else

Watched this earlier and its quite relevant i think. Just to add though i would be careful not to use masturbation as a reason youre not achieving certain things, it sometimes easy to blame life on something youre perceiving as bad and if only you could stop this thing life would be perfect. This can get you in a routine of everything will be ok when .... So you sort out this thing and then things are the same so another thing comes along like being a vegetarian. Like someone said above just do it conciously if its not good for you it will eventually cease from happening -

You might want to check rsd specifically tyler and julien (varied opinions on them but i like them) Ive pulled up this vid where i disabled guy who could barely walk up stairs goes on stage and talks to the crowd its quite eye opening. But real talk i know its hard to deal with what youre going through but its part of your specific journey and it will make you stronger for going through it. For the other people who maybe so called good looking they could get stuck in their comfort zone and attached to their looks which could mean them never finding their true self because they never have the motivation to, which to me is also a sad situation regardless of how it looks to the outside. Anyway good luck and i genuinely hope you get to a peaceful mentality and are able to get the most from life, keep us updated

Really you should look at the reasons whh you want to stop and the emotional labels you put on it. Someone told me recently of a survey that was done with religious and non-religious teenagers with regard to their masturbating habits, basically the conclusion was both groups do it around the same amouny its just that the religious group feels bad about it. So its more about whether you label it as a good or bad thing, or what it is which is just a thing that people do. In my opinion, taking the emotion and ideology out of it, i would cut out something if its having a negative affect on my life or stopping or slowing down my growth. So if something becomes an unhealthy addiction for example you masterbate many times a day, then that can be a problem because youre devoting a lot of time thinking and doing it that could be used elsewhere, you may also not be able to have a clear head unless you do it a lot, in these cases it would be a problem. But to be honest if you do it every now and then i cant see it being a massive issue unless you think its really bad. It could be argued there are also a lot of postives, prob more than the negatives tbh. There issues with porn and desensitisation, which i think could be issues. Also what i would focus on if i was you is getting better with girls but also becoming someone who isnt as needy with them (which will attract them)

Dont fall in the trap of thinking you need this or that to get girls. If you get stuff get it because you want it for you. Saying that logistically a car might help you. If youre going to work on anything work on your 'game', which is confidence, flirting etc etc. Where they are depends on your current situation but obvious places are clubs, bars. Main thing though is just have fun with dont look at it like you need it to complete you

I think the point behind it is that you do cetain things specifically to make yourself unconcious. So for example if you watch tv it lets you 'zone out' which effectively makes you unconcious as you get lost in the tv show, youre no longer aware of yourself watching the show you are basically in it. So the practice is to just remain conscious while watching tv or doing anything. So you watch it but youre aware that youre watching it. If you do this properly in life as a whole youll find you dont need to stop doing things youve heard are bad, you just naturally wont want to do certain things anymore. I dont think you should aim to stop anything you should just aim to raise your consciousness and what you dont need will drop off. Sadhguru said one time, when you were a kid you didnt aim to stop playing with toys, one day it didnt resonate with you and you stopped. My personal experience with tv, i used to watch a lot, i still watch it but i find it very difficult to watch fictional series or dramas or anything like that. I find myself only able to watch interesting docs, but ive noticed a definite shift and i never said to myself ive got to stop watching tv. The thing is if you just quit cos thats what you hear is good to do, you never have first hand experience of consciously knowing what is best for you

great topic for an essay, i would like to read it once your done if youd be happy to share. But 2 books come to mind that i think might help you, 'the fall' by steven taylor, this talks about where the ego comes from, his theory is that when migrating from africa a group of people had to develop a strong ego to survive the tough conditions of the desert, limited resources meant that they had to look out for themselves and see themselves as seperate in order to survive, this led to western and arabic cultures. It is quite theory led but i thought it was an interesting take on where ego could have come from. The other book is 'ego is the enemy' by ryan holiday which is more of a self development book but has a lot of stories about ego. It kind of glosses over a few things but it is a very relistic take on it. Those 2 ive read and can recommend, you might also want to look at 'ego and the id' by sigmund freud, i havent read it but i think it could be helpful. Leading from that also look into carl jung. Hope that helps

Hey @Wendelin thanks for sharing. I have been feeling this too recently and its funny as my favourite teachers are also tolle, mooji and sadhguru. So i get two states which feel literally like im 2 different people, one is completely flowing with life but also excited about everything, i get thoughts but do not feel attached to any of them, almost like ive taken a step back from them and can see them from a distance. The other is basically being tied up in my thoughts which usually revolve around trying to get back to the first state and have a feeling of anxiety and uneasiness. I usually try and give myself advice on how to relax but whatever i come up with never seems to work, im aware that even thinking about it causes it to persist but its like i cant stop. Any advice?

Youre doing it right, the whole point is to get confortable and used to those emotions now. Youll be a lot more panicked if you have them on your death bed

I havent read the book but i think reading between the lines what he might be saying is, you have to accept the scars fully because avoiding them or fighting them only gives them more power. For example say a bad thought pops in your head about you getting beaten up as a child, if you avoid it and try and get rid of it, youre resisting. What causes your present pain is the resistance and fear of the thoughts, not really the thoughts themselves. So the content can remain but by facing it and detatching yourself from it, it no longer has the same power, you camt control your thoughts but can control your reaction.

You need to take action, all your points are fine and well but there is no forward momentum. Work out what you want to do and then work out a strategy to do that, whilst doing the background inner work. For example if you want to write a book set yourself a goal of writing say 5 pages a day. You would get a lot further than if you spent a year reading and studying about how to write a book, which is really what youre proposing. Also i would look at other videos and books as well as leos stuff, just so you get different inputs.

Yep agreed God is and can only be experienced existentially, therefore any attempt to describe or label conceptually will ultimately fall short. In fact any attempt to describe anything real will always fall short. Its like if youve never eaten a banana and i describe it to you, even if i write a 500 page book describing it you still will not know the experience. So same thing with god you can write all the books you want but until you experience it you will have no clue, and obviously its impossible to experience while youre still looking for concepts in your head

The content is good and i know how difficult it can be as ive done a couple vids myself but its a little hard to follow just because of the delivery as its very rapid. I can tell your talking off the cuff which is good but you might want to have a loose structure written down. But main thing is that youre doing it and putting it out, so as long as you keep going all these things will sort themselves out. Seriously amazing you started so young, so keep it up man!