Grasshopper

In what way? In an enlightenment-type way, or just in general liking yourself better?

Try to mix in some other methods of self-inquiry. This works well for me. One is a walking meditation. You go for a walk, and keep awareness on your body, breath, and thoughts the entire time. Get yourself to the point where you're watching everything you do and think, like you're body and mind are on automatic and you're witnessing the entire process of a person going for a walk, not being involved in any of it. I'd also recommend doing this while you're having a conversation with someone, or any other time where you are reacting to the situation. I found it to be quite revealing. It's also something you don't have to make extra time for, you just apply it throughout your day.

Having another parent that parents differently definitely complicates things. Try to focus on only what you can control, and let go of what you can't. It won't be the perfect situation, but hopefully you can make the best of it. First off, know that none of what your step son does is personal. If you already do know, just reinforce that. His brain has been wired by his previous situations. He needs compassion and understanding. If you are able, I would recommend looking up a child therapist. They can be a very resourceful guide in situations like these. I'd also recommend a book called "No Drama Discipline." It basically outlines ways to help give your child consistent boundaries while still having love and compassion. It's not a "fix all," but I've found the knowledge to help my understanding of the developing brain and also to provide thoughtful ideas and methods when children aren't acting their best, and also when they are acting their best (positive reinforcement is important). Also, know that you're not alone. I can definitely relate to your situation. It's not easy. The more support you can find, so you're not going through this alone, the better. If you are willing, try looking up some single-dad (or married) support groups in your local area. As far as the "do not know" mediation, the best advice I can give on that is to watch out for the "life would be happier if" thoughts. This means you are assuming there is an "if." What would it mean if there wasn't an "if" and that there was no "you" (freewill) that got you in your situation? What would that mean? Contemplate that.

Practice inhabiting your body. Try to be aware of your breath, the bodily sensations in your arms, legs , whole body, as much as you can. Also practice being "the watcher" of your thoughts. Don't interpret your thoughts, just observe. Keep this awareness up throughout your day, as often as you can remember.

@Falk Don't think in terms of schedule. Think in terms of results. You can adjust your schedule to fit around any results you're determined to get. For example. Pick a book to read each month. Then figure out how to work it into your routine so you can finish it in a month. For example. You want to develop a meditation habit. Do some research and figure out the best way to get started. Usually 10-20 mins a day, and work that into your routine. Make time for self-care. Work and sleep isn't all self-care. Make your bed in the morning. Eat right. Clean your place. If you can't get a handle on taking care of yourself, you'll likely have a hard time having consistency and success with other tasks. Work on building a routine that allows you to thrive, not something that's day-to-day maintenance. This could be how you do your morning routine to setup the rest of the day, how you eat, the people you hang out with, a hobby that you're passionate about, something rejuvenating that recharges your batteries, etc. It's different for everyone. You have to experiment and find what works best for you.

@Love Whatever you believe, realize it's only a belief. Also, try to recognize what a belief is. It's a stream of thought that plays in your mind as "I believe in nothing" or "I believe this because..." (and so on). Ultimately, you cannot believe anything, because if you pay attention, you didn't think these "belief thoughts". They just happened on their own.

@Keri I feel my first answer was somewhat lacking. Leo has great videos that address these topics. I'd suggest starting with those. Leo has a great video on meditation here: Drelamore's post above is a good definition of the enlightenment process. That is a good place to start. Self-awareness is basically paying attention to how your mind, body, and emotions work. All of Leo's videos on "mastering your emotions" serve as good references on the subject: There area also books that teach practices for raising your self-awareness, which helps with the meditation, enlightenment, and basically every aspect of your life. The Power of Now teaches some great skills for self-awareness. I'd recommend it. Another one I've read is The Miracle of Mindfulness, which is a more Buddhist style approach to self-awareness. Hope this helps.

@Olly You don't stop thinking. Your relationship to thinking changes. You're no longer dependent on thinking to solve all your personal problems. Thinking is no longer *as* important, so naturally your thought chatter drops significantly because you're not feeding it, but you don't stop thinking altogether.

@Vercingetorix Good questions. Try flipping that logic onto yourself. There's no objective or scientific proof for freewill, that you are the thinker of your thoughts, or that any of the models of reality in your head (such as your idea of what you are) are true. Ponder that.

This is why you can't know anything. Because there is no "knowing." What is "knowing?" It's an arising of thoughts saying "I know it." But those are just thoughts. They are thoughts popping up automatically, without control from you, thoughts that are talking to themselves. All of your thought chatter is literally generated from your brain, not you. Think about a computer that is programmed to act like a human. Is this computer program a real person, or is it just simulating thinking and decision-making based on its programming? It's all simulation. And the big secret is that all your thoughts are too. You, asking yourself "can I be enlightened," is a simulation running in your brain. Can a simulation know itself? Can a simulation become enlightened? But, this "simulation" is all being watched, watched by your real self. And there is a link where the simulation can realize it's being watched by something deeper and understand that it's not real. So can you become enlightened? No, in the way that the fake "you" (thoughts, feelings, the entire simulation of you) cannot ever be enlightened. But yes, in the way that fake "you" understands the reality of its fake nature. However, your true self (the watcher) remains ever unchanged, so that never really becomes enlightened either. It's already complete, not needed anything. It just is. FYI, I did sit through the whole video.

Self-awareness Being present and aware of your thoughts, emotions, perceptions, actions, and reactions. Meditation Pretty much the same thing as self-awareness, but usually done sitting still. There are different variations of it. Enlightenment No idea. Supposedly it's when you know the truth about reality or something.

What are you talking about? Have you seen the new 4k televisions? But really, don't limit yourself to just television and movies for entertainment. There's hiking, biking, hanging out with friends and family, reading, learning, drawing, playing an instrument, camping, cooking, exercising, taking baths, gardening, taking care of pets, taking care of yourself, make lattes, write a blog, etc. That's just a small portion of the things you could do instead of tv. If you just want to veg on the couch and watch something, then eh, you just have to accept that society's not perfect and there's a whole spectrum of morality across all the mediums. Sometimes the sense of justice is dealt so heavy-handed I can't help but laugh. You'll just have to do your own research to find something you might like. Documentaries might be up your alley.

@Bruno Sousa Right. You don't perceive awareness. But you can be awareness. And in being it, it reveals its nature. How does on be it? It's quite simple. There's a space in your mind that's always calm. Do a meditation and go find it. You don't see it, but you can notice it by how every feeling, emotion, and thought appears and disappears in it. In Leo's no-bullshit meditation video, this is the same as being the sky. However, I like the metaphor of the ocean. The ocean is calm underneath the water, and all the things that appear in awareness are like waves that ride over it. Practice being the ocean, not the waves. You can even notice this space as you go throughout your work day. It's a comfortable spot to rest your mind. As you be this space, your awareness of it will grow. As that happens, insight will come with it, and all this talk from enlightenment teachers will start to make sense.

@eye_wanderer That depends on what your definition of fulfilled is. I can't think of anything more fulfilling than to realize that I am already 100% complete, and that no matter what happens or what mistakes I may make, that will never change.

Good points. I worry about doing that myself. However, I don't think you need to put off your pursuit until you fix all your other problems. As long as you're not running away from your problems and doing your part to take care of yourself in a healthy manner (which includes facing your problems in a practical way), I think you'd be fine to continue the search.

@David It doesn't matter what you become, because you are always being watched by something that doesn't change. Look for that.

Not likely. You can still set and enforce boundaries. There's a difference between ego and self-respect.

Throughout the day, notice your breath anytime you can remember to. That can help knock you out of a low-awareness state.

I don't mean to discount the value of this forum or other online resources. I just agree that it can become overwhelming and a distraction at times.

These forums aren't a far cry from YouTube comments on enlightenment videos. It's just a lot of noise to take in and digest, which can make things even more confusing. The best lessons are from personal experience, not from reading a hundred different perspectives and opinions on the matter. Besides, everyone should take a break from the internet once in a while. I say go ahead and give yourself a break.

@Endew Can you elaborate on your experience?