Hi I'm female and I noticed that I enjoy men's attention and I feel really guilty about it.
It feels like I should not want it or feeling dependent to that. But it gives me really good feelings when men are interested in me, talking to me or just give me looks and so on.
In social situations with men I'm normally reserved and superficial but still polite. Because I don't want anyone to notice that I actually wish me more attention. I feel so ashamed by this requirement.
I wonder if this has something to do with my father. He was less interested in caring or loving me, he just wanted me to function, not being weak, not crying or something and focused on achievement. He also was absolutely judgemental and always told me that I'm not good enough (the typical father story I guess).
Often it feels like I feel too much awe to men. I put the attention from men on a pedestal. I wish me that attention so much but otherwise men scare me and I feel intimidated by them but I think that's more in my head than the actual situation. Because normally men are really polite and respectful to me.. But always this situations are really stressing me out.
So I would appreciate if someone can help me without judging my situation.. How can I become more relaxed with men? I really like men, but also they scare me and I don't want to feel so dependent to their positive opinion about me. Why am I feeling this so intense and what could I do about it?
Best regards from germany and sorry for the grammar
