Sugarcoat

Inattentive - tend to daydream and easily zones out distant obsessive - can obsess over a mental image of somebody inconsistent / unpredictable introverted/shy - can be negative sometimes

So yes as the title says. Me and a close person to me tried edibles we bought from a Snapchat dealer face to face. They gave an effect but very mild for both of us despite us taking an supposedly large dose. We were kinda disappointed so I posted on Reddit in a forum about weed about it and the reasons why we didn’t feel much. some random dude on Reddit dms me about me being able to order them online from some telegram express link or something he called “phelmiss buy” (?) that can send to where I’m at (it’s illegal here) prepare yourself for stupidity My dumbass got carried away and texted the person on telegram he gave me. “Dn source” He was supposedly working for? He wanted me to use bitcoin so I bought it (no previous experience) and sent him the sum. Accidentally sent him a little less because the conversion to euros wasn’t correct or something (I noticed it myself ) Now he asking for way more to “make up for wallet requirements” my dumbass sends him more. now he starts talking about shipping fees because I live outside the city. i send him that. He says it didn’t arrive, I send him again . okay fast forward it all ends up with me spending in total almost 1k dollars in total. Some of it due to him saying he needs more because he needs to have 800 in his wallet to refund me or something. Yes what have I done to myself a huuuge amount for a simple minimum wage young worker like me Fast forward the delivery guy is on his way (not really tho) and he is “stopped” (what a coincidence) the guy from Reddit and the “dealer “ (probably the same guy as they write similar and both use a specific way of spelling a certain word) want me to help with money so they can pay the police . At this point I’m realizing it’s a scam and I’m not sending more. They’re getting a bit rude and pushy. I’ve not sent more since then. I still have their contacts but I’m just kind of dealing with the fact that I’ve lost almost 1 k dollars that I’ll never get back. I can’t believe how I let it go so far. Wow . I got so carried away. So incredibly reckless behavior . Lesson learned definitely. They gave such precise and eloquent reasons (from my perspective of having barely any knowledge about this) for all the transactions I kinda thought it was legit although suspicions did arise but my desperation took over. Damn I used to watch this channel hell of a lot so I felt like sharing in this forum about this. Hope it’s okay to share this topic here. I’ve lost hope now I’ve lost my money. Well, life lesson learned. Keep in mind I’m very young (not excuse per say but still) and inexperienced with this. Also I’ve chatted with several chill cool people on Reddit so I thought he was one of those lol NEVER AGAIN NEVER NEVER. I just wanted to vent a bit , feel free to roast or whatever or hit me up whatever if you have any help or anything to say.

Well I’ve bought weed through someone on Snapchat and it worked. But he doesn’t seem to be the dealer himself but was connected to a dealer because he gave us a number to some other guy and even offered to be the one to give it to us next time because the guy was a bit late Me and my cousin bought the cheap edibles from some other guy on snap, it was only 5 dollars each and we only bought two because he said they contained 65mg each. We didn’t mind if it was a scam because it was so cheap. I mean they did give an effect but pretty darn weak lol we just wanna get high of some nice edibles how hard can it be Hahaha wym contagious

Thanks for the info. sounds reasonable. with the little knowledge I have about the dark web it’ll take a while before I even proceed with something like that. Lol this happening taught me something about caution

Wow you sound exactly like me. Same here desperation can take over sometimes. It’s weird because I’m usually the type of person that does careful research. If I’m gonna buy for example a skincare product I can spend hours researching , looking at reviews , looking at facts about certain ingredients etc. it’s like a part of my personality to be very calculated but damn we all slip up sometimes it’s frustrating when you’re into this kind of stuff but you struggle finding means to obtain them. Welp gotta go to the forest then and pick some up myself maybe die from poisoning lol maybe that’s my destiny true that! I def learned something from this so it’s not ONLY negative

That was very lovely written thank you! im glad you shared your story too! Yes I do take accountability and responsibility for my actions as I made the choice myself to proceed. Trying to not be hard on myself because we all make mistakes big or small but definitely making sure I learn something from this and change. im sorry you went through that but the positive is that we learn something from it. hahah me too I’ve said some angry things to the scammer too just because . I have nothing to lose now it’s too late there have been a few funny moments he even said “you’re high” becuase I said I lost 1k lol One doesn’t think one will ever be “one of those “ who gets scammed. But here we are. Shows how even if you see yourself as being cautious we all can mess things up from time to time. Especially when young and perhaps naive.

Thanks for the tips! Might try it out sometime in the future but with great great caution . im really clueless about this all I got are some Snapchat dealers lol

I swear. This is what gets some of us in a trap? desperation and desire got to me and clouded my logic look at me now. But lesson learned.

Lol very true. So I can obtain pure weed buying face to face I’ve done that I have contacts in there. But my cousin and I wanted to try edibles specifically and they were much harder to find, and it’s hard to make ourselves as we live with our parents and worry about smell. My plan wasn’t to buy online but I was completely and utterly fooled by this guy on Reddit with his fancy technical language and eloquent explanations. I thought he was just trying to be nice and helping me out. it’s weird because I’m usually very careful. Now looking back it’s very obvious from the start how sus it was, wow how I didn’t see it then. First and last time I did something like that MAJOR lesson learned I will NEVER do this again.

Yes I will never ever repeat my mistake. First and last time I did. see what happens when you stop watching your videos as much? Maybe if I watched your video about avoiding being scammed etc this wouldn’t happen lol. Gonna watch it later. Taking notes thank you

thank you for the tips and kind words. I’ve learned a great lesson from this and will never do it again. It’s very unusual of me too, I’m usually very careful. But this time I got carried away. That’s a pretty realistic view, I did the opposite I expected the best. I even walked outside thinking the delivery guy was actually on his way damn lol. I had suspicions from the start but somehow they got clouded by my desire and hope and how deceived I was. but with reviews? Can’t they be faked, how do you know the reviews are legit?

@Realms of Wonder @Realms of Wonder thansk for your reply it’s nice hearing about others experiencing similar things, makes you feel less weird. well the situation was weird overall. Now when I look back I can’t believe my eyes how reckless I was with my money. I’m usually careful but this one time I got carried away i learnt that from now on, with no exceptions, be more careful. I always gotta know for sure that someone is legit before attempting to buy. Also let no degree of desire cloud my logic like it did here. Also don’t fall for fancy language and eloquent explanations.

I relate very very very deeply to your post. From a young age I’ve sensed how there is a sense of self involved in pretty much anything I do, and in order for myself to keep being interested in let’s say a subject, I have to be interested in the self image it can help me attain. it’s as if one senses how there is an agenda behind anything one does. It’s not bad, just pure noticing. This “self awareness “ is not by force, it comes naturally. I think everyone is fundamentally the same psychologically. The difference is some of us seem to be more sensitive to the mechanism of the identity and are more detached from it and aware of it. what we all want deep down is detachment I believe. As any identity I’ve noticed requires a certain mental effort to maintain. It’s exhausting, and different people seem to be sensitive to this to different degrees. the identity is sneaky, it hides in everything. It’s involved in everything.

When I was around 12 years old I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time. That time it was scary. Then the second time it happened was around 2 years ago, around half a year into my daily meditation practice. (i dont meditate anymore, me stopping meditation has nothing to do with this though) But this time not really scary, and it was coupled with a strong feeling of vibration or sort of like an electric current especially in my upper body, especially in my back, going up my back to my head. Then after that it happened more and more often, sometimes several times in one night. Note that i didn´t have a particularly bad sleep schedule. It was okay. It happened regularly up until about this spring, about 40 times in total, I counted on my phone many of them, then it stopped happening for some reason. Then two days ago it happend again. Then last night again. I´m wondering why it suddenly came back, I have not changed anything in my life in particular. It does not bother me as it´s not scary. To describe it more. It can last shortly, a minute or so, or longer episodes. It can vary in intensity, it was most intense in the middle of the night probably becuase I was closer to deeper sleep or something. I say sleep paralysis becuase I can´t move when it happens. Some hallucinations have occured, but I find that they reflect the emotional state, I´m calm when it happens so I almost never se anything scary. There can be a sense of presence but I guess that´s just good old regular rem sleep activity. There is always this strong vibrational feeling in the body as I described, sometimes it tickles me so I want to move but ofc I can´t, especially tickling my back. I can make the vibrations more intense if I breathe deeply it seems, its like they go in waves, its sort of relaxing. The vibrations can also seem more intense if I focus on a specific area in my body, its like they focus on that area then My state during them is like rem-sleep but awake, dreamlike but aware. Once I managed to astral project I think, I floated up through the roof and out in my neighborhood, but i dont really care that was just some lucid dreaming maybe. Also I can sense when its about to come and if i move i can prevent it, but sometimes simply by deeply relaxing my body in my bed, (usually after waking up or in the middle of the night) it would happen, or spontaneously. So does anyone have any explanation? I´m curios. Maybe its nothing special but its still fun to investigate.

Nice post. I sense genuineness , something about the energy of it. I agree tho, I just go to the forum for fun nowadays, used to be serious about it, freeing to not be anymore

I don´t feel particularly stressed at all

My sleep is quite good and regular 7/8/9 hours per night, barely ever tired, not stressed much at all . hehe

not at all

So for most of my life I have had this tendency of compulsively fantasizing about idealized versions of me expressing something I feel unable to express through my “ real” sense of self because of fear. for example, when I was younger, I used to feel very shy, so I would be quiet. I would compulsively daydream about a confident, funny, charismatic version of me interacting with people in my school I feel shy around. interestingly, when I overcame this shyness, and when I started to embody and express that in real life. Those fantasies stopped. I still have some compulsive fantasizing regarding other things I struggle to express , most of it is gone tho. so what drives this? So it seems like; the sense of self, which is like this claimer and owner of things, behaviors, looks, speech etc all these characteristics. When nothing is happening in the external world for it to claim, such as me speaking and interacting with poeple, the mind goes wild and creates scenarios for the sense of self to claim becuase the desire to express those things (humor etc) is there, but not able to be expressed irl. it’s like the sense of self is uncomfortable irl, for example, in certain social situations there would arise an awkward sense of self, so through this sense of self, humor, laughter, joy cannot be expressed becuase the sense of self is uncomfortable sort of. so the fantasy seems to be a way for one to feel in control??

Yea in a way

It seems to be about expression yes, if it’s longed to be expressed , but it’s suppressed in real life, the mind is like this canvas for it to be expressed through fantasy. never thought about it as poetry, interesting connection.

That’s seriously how it feels sometimes. For all my life I’ve had an extremely rich inner world, just naturally been that way. Always been heavily inwardly oriented. I used to see my excessive daydreaming as a obstacle distracting me from everyday life, but I’ve come to see how every version of myself that I fantasize about is something that I long to embody and express irl, and until I do so, the fantasy will keep going. the fantasies are not random at all, there’s always something that resonates with it. it’s truly fascinating how the mind can do that. It’s like my mind and emotional energetic body work together as one. It’s all intuitive, what resonates, emotional, sort of energetic . it’s truly amazing. The mind is so utterly fascinating. All this talk about shutting the mind down, yea to a certain degree but it does wonders too It’s like I’ve always been accompanied by a higher self in my mind waiting for me to embody it. Like my future self talking to me I don’t settle for less. Sooner or later I embody that version of me I fantasize about, so that particular fantasy stops, that’s the general trend it seems.

Behind logic, emotion hides, behind emotion, logic resides so it’s like behind seemingly logical argumentation or rationalization, there can be an emotional load, a sense of self involved in it trying to be maintained. for example , a person reasons : I should eat healthy because it is good for my body. Sounds rational right? but maybe the reason actually is that they have a desire to identify as a person who eats healthy because they’ve been conditioned to see that as something to be proud about so it’s emotional and identity related at it’s root you can feel into the apparent logic and rationality. Is there tension to it? Does it resonate? Is there a sense of self associated with it that colors the logic and sort of uses it to justify itself from my experience, the older I get the more these two go hand in hand, the less distinction between them. My mind does not really make any difference between them, it’s all resonance

I still have some sense of time, but it has gradually decreased and not much left as you say, every moment feels more fresh and new, in comparison to before i feel like I’m walking into my own grave like I’m gonna be gone soon lol, not in a bad way tho, just weird but not weird at the same time so you would say there is no sense of separation left there were you are?

So for the past year or so I keep having these subtle releases of tension, tension in my whole reality, not any specific emotion, my sense of separation has decreased gradually, many beliefs and concept has lost their realness and I cannot go back to how it was previously for example I don’t resonate with my oldest posts at all anymore they make no sense hehe So my sense of context for what’s happening has decreased, reality is more “zoomed in” now than before, and I can’t go back. For example my sense of time is less, thoughts about the future have less pull to them than before. so it seems like the sense of time is related to seeking when one seeks a sense of self or fulfillment it’s always in time, something in the future that one hopes to happen, so there is excessive fantasy and thinking about the future, seems like one is trying to have a sense of control about the future, to try to make sure that one is moving closer to what one desires these thoughts about the future have a pull to them, ones sense of self is invested in them what I’ve found is that when I have lost hope that something will happen, or I just stop desiring it in this seeking kind of way, a certain timeline of what I’ve anticipated will happen can dissolve and so the sense of time is less, and the sense of separation also its weird in a way, I used to feel that time is so solid, but in the past year this sense of time has slowly decreased gradually Reality has never been so moment to moment, it’s weird but also not weird anyome relates?