Sugarcoat

Hate can sometimes be coupled with a lack of understanding of someone. If you truly understood them and could step into their shoes you maybe wouldnt hate them.

If you look like you’re having fun, as if you’re making fun of yourself, idk how to explain it really but like you show you’re aware of your weird dancing and are having fun with it, you are careless about it, maybe it takes some of the seeming cringe out of it and makes it just seem fun.

51: If you have good physical and mental health you should be so thankful. Because as soon as one of them is taken from you its gonna be the only thing you’ll be wishing back all the time.

It’s the solid sense of self that creates the solid sense of reality. Both in dreams and waking life. It’s the basis for everything.

How can you call yourself an alpha male when you won’t have straight forward communication?

There’s different ways to go about the same thing. And this being about relationships, pickup, sex etc. You can do it in way where you sacrifice your authenticity, where it’s about getting the woman so you change yourself based on what you think she will like, you might emulate people who have what you consider “success”, or you could do it in a completely authentic way, not sacrificing anything. This doesn’t guarantee the same results, but since results aren’t the focus it’s not a concern for you. Whichever you do will decide how you feel about it, if it feels wasteful or not. You end your post by saying if you ever get in a relationship it will be “organically” and you contrast it against what you previously call inauthenticity . This is what I mean. There’s different ways of going about the same thing

@PurpleTree thanks

It’s not for everyone

Getting free of that need (in case it feels constrictive and you want to) means getting free of that need means getting free of that need nothing else. I could go on Ofc nothing wrong with wanting to date I was just suggesting alternative routes to that desire in case if it comes from a place of lack and feels constrictive. Doesn’t ~necessarily ~mean one is trying to feel fulfilled but in the most cases it does .

It’s two different things altogether that I suggested

I’m just giving an alternate suggestion that’s all. That’s why I wrote “if you want”. And my second suggestion wasn’t spiritual.

The basis for any interaction with another is a stable self through space and time . So you wish to be with someone because this separate sense feels incomplete and looks for fulfillment in objects which can be in relationship with another . You can wish for a perfect dating life or you can get free from this need (if you want) by either dissolving this self because then there’s no more interaction or becoming fully self focused so you only seek yourself and nothing outside yourself

Your inner game will need to be different depending on what your goal is. If it’s to attract women, get laid, build confidence, find authentic self or overcome insecurities etc. Although the latter will probably translate into more success with the previous, it’s not a guarantee. But if that’s not the goal then it is of no concern

If you can realize that you create suffering and then take control then that’s amazing

I think it’s worth considering the idea of being the creator of one’s own suffering too. Because if it happens to be true we don’t wanna miss out on the opportunity to stop it. And questioning the self. In my experience with mental suffering it takes a lot of work to stop something as simple as imagining the future and fearing it, but it’s possible. Tricky and fascinating subject yes.

You actually don’t think this it just sounds good doesn’t it

Yea I’ve seen such patterns play themselves out

Yes the self is not questioned by most it seems Yes exactly the selfs survival agenda creates suffering. Personally realizing this takes a lot of self awareness I believe I’m not sure if i agree that we create the self. But we are for sure involved in maintaining it. And we can change that involvement. Once again takes self awareness. Regardless it’s a good idea in general to try to become aware of one’s role in suffering as much as possible to try to minimize it

Self awareness is key yes and being honest with oneself and setting ego aside

Yes

I agree with you that only exposure isn’t enough. It’s important to also do it consciously. I did contemplation too and as you say being more intentional with behavior where it doesn’t come naturally. Like I would smile and laugh when I noticed it was appropriate even if I didn’t feel like it because I was low. Or using short phrases (filler words etc) when it was suitable. Or actively focusing on the one who is talking to have less focus on myself. Sometimes it can feel forceful for a while before it feels natural, you gotta kinda push yourself to talk intentionally no matter what you feel to gain some momentum.

People compare themselves to others. They don’t wanna be unique in any way but unique in a good way, a cool way, to gain a pleasurable identity for themselves. If many people are like you then it’s harder to derive a pleasurable identity from how you are since if everyone is pretty nobody is pretty, etc people need that contrast to others for their own identity’s sake. Their identity isn’t independent of others, it’s dependent on others to be in opposition, a contrast to you, to make your qualities stand out. They exist in contrast to other people’s qualities. Black needs other colors to exist for example

Same

I’ve not been in situations where the confidence goes up and down like that in relation to one another from what I remember but I see how that could happen. I have though experienced how different people can dominate the convo and how that can shift between people. I think if you manage to develop true confidence it should be there no matter who you interact with. Doesn’t mean your energy has to always be high, sometimes one can naturally sit back and listen and let someone else dominate the convo but one is still confident and relaxed just in a more quiet way because it suits the situation. So true confidence isn’t affected by other people and that’s the ultimate goal imo Thanks I’m glad it was that to you.

Yea