Sugarcoat

Okay so let’s break it down if it is true…:what is the harm? if it’s not true….was it even much of a spiritual path if it’s so fragile that it’s threatened by such a statement ??‍♀️

I was attracted to this post but damn that language is difficult

You get the message

Be so deeply unbothered by it that she cannot help but to turn it inward on herself

Thanks. I like this funny. I’ve naturally done that since a young age, didn’t know it had a name its a very safe way to experience some sexual energy , in solitude. It can feel very real

I agree with you. I understand all of what you said conceptually and I sense your sincerity and good intention. But I must say that since childhood I’ve experienced this very fundamental alienation from humanity, so in a way reading your post doesn’t resonate as I sense it coming from the very reality I’ve never felt deeply connected to (nor mourned this lack of connection) and when I was connected to it, it revealed itself to me as just a mental construction. something like that

That’s cool. And sounds a little funny too? I’ve also done that naturally. I sensed some similarity between us when I read some of your other responses so I’m not surprised. it’s like activate contemplation and acting like your own therapist and trying to trigger an answer by asking yourself these questions. Did you find answers? Sometimes I haven’t gotten clear answers to my questions although asking for them can plant a seed for it and has value despite. Do you always experience your voices as you?? Sometimes my mind can have a strong almost foreign presence to it….as if it’s outside of me… i will answer the rest of your response eventually. I’m just struggling to communicate properly my understanding of it so it will need some time to

It was openness on your part that triggered me to share

I like your vibe. Maybe that’s something : ) I’m struggling to quote on my phone so I will do in this way: You said: “I’ m a little confused as to how much this is a practical concern, and how much a spiritual one. You say you see your potential very clearly in contrast to your present appearance, which to me means a difference in details; your ears are too big, your skin is blotchy, your fingers aren't long enough, etc and whatever. You already had your nose altered, which is clearly a detail. But you go on to say the details aren't relevant. Are you saying that to you, being hot has nothing to do with your actual appearance? I'm not nitpicking, I'm actually confused.” You are right in your confusion. It was a lack of clarity from my part. What I was trying to say was a response to your questions about how I want to look/how I look. Obviously details matter to ME as I see them very clearly, and they stand in contrast to this ideal. Exactly as you said. What I meant was that the details aren’t relevant for OTHERS to know about online. As a way to say that the answer to these questions aren’t relevant as different women with different appearances could be dealing with the same thing as me so knowing the details to their appearance isn’t relevant to understanding what they are dealing with. Although that could be argued too. You said : ”To me, and I think this is a common conception, hotness and sex appeal overlap. Are sex and your hotness totally separate in your mind? Like, your ability to find sexual partners is irrelevant to your hotness, and being hot is irrelevant to your ability to find sexual partners?” I like that you ask “in your mind” specifically as if you sense that there is not much else to pull from here…..perfectly suited question. Sex can be imagined in a purely physical pleasure kind of way where hotness isn’t that big of a deal, or more in a way that’s connected to sense of self, in the latter case hotness is 100% connected. the other questions. One could improve appearance to attract more potential mates. And it is true, when I have improved my appearance I’ve gotten more male attention. But that’s not the main driver at all, not in the slightest. Actually I feel pretty neutral about the male attention I get generally . It’s more about my own ability to feel sexual in my self and my own body or something, regardless of who pays me attention. What is the joy in attention if you don’t feel you can enjoy the very self that it shines its light on? I’m just being honest here regardless of how crazy it sounds. You said: “Due to your past success weight-lifting and your general manner of determination and self-control, I was under the impression that your health was exceptionally good. I somehow don't think you're going to tell me that you're actually twenty kilos overweight, subsist on a diet of doritos and nutella, and have bowed legs and missing teeth from scurvy. So is there anything about you that's really falling short of the peak?“ First of all. During those years I weight-lifted, I was miserable and severely disconnected from my body. So any health effect from my lifestyle was completely overrun by the negative effects from this disconnection, so much so that I wasn’t healthy even really. I fit the conventional definition of healthy yes. But that definition is pretty weak haha. Also health has for most of my life been pretty conceptual. You read all this stuff about what’s good what’s bad, what happens in the body this and that, but all of that doesn’t get to the root of what this body actually is, beyond concepts. And that’s where I’m trying to get in a way. I want to know my body, what it is at its root. What is this body, actually, no mental filter between, no preconceived notions about it. Tears are flooding down my eyes as I’m writing this so deep it is for me. This connection with my body that for some reason was so deeply severed from early childhood, it’s my deepest desire in a way, to know this body, to live in it so fully. You say : You're welcome :-) “I figured that in this case, before delving deep and making a bunch more assumptions, it was best to at least confirm whether you're okay or under a lot of psychological distress. I'm happy to hear that things are looking up for you.” That’s so sweet of you!!!! you say: “Based on your response to Swarnim and my own intuition, my guess is that your main complaint is a sense of deprivation. Also, possibly due to your competent and individualistic personality, I wonder if you don't isolate yourself a little more than necessary, making it difficult for you to get your needs met. You're really responsive here, though, so these are just sort of (un)educated guesses.” Well you have a point. I do isolate myself quite extremely physically, but for most of my life I’ve not experienced it as significant or even real in the way a lot of people describe their isolation (causing them suffering). I don’t feel lonely as I hear a lot of people describe . I don’t have that connection and sense of realness about society. Very solipsistic existence almost. But I’ve watched a lot of Leo’s content and have been attracted to the energy of these forums so this post was kind of this energy that just took over me and started to express itself here, it barely felt like I wrote it lol this flow of energy just through the words.

I don’t really have a sense of “life” in the conventional way that could be ruined but I sense your sincerity. Perhaps it’s my lacking communication skills, but you can write what I wrote and be coming from different places with it…. you can write the most crazy negative shit and mean it all but still be sane and positive… it’s just fun authentic expression the last question , if we’re gonna speak in conventional terms . My vibe is better every year, some other people have pointed it out too (it’s not true if others don’t see it riiiiiiight???) . So this “obsession” doesn’t seem that bad after all… but thanks ?? Are you okay despite your penis being average ? : ) because you asked me

Well it is different in that way yes . But it’s not so much about others in a way since I bet most people don’t mind my appearance I just blend in I’m the one living and SEEING and experiencing this body all the time … A lot of plastic surgery, makeup and clothing and stuff is a kind of beauty I’m not really interested in….. I’d rather have clear skin than rely on foundation if you get what I mean…. in some way you could say I want optimal health (and my body wants it too so it’s not just in my head) that is kind of the type of beauty I want

I totally understand how a man could be dissatisfied with his dick size. I sympathize with it. And especially if he has an extreme case. Your dissatisfaction is reasonable in a way, and it seems it doesn’t consume you. But these men who oveeeeerly obsess about their penises are so out of touch with what women even want . And of what societal conditioning is saying women go much more after other things like a man’s “vibe” …(. Which you seem to understand…not rocket science) So if your goal is to attract and keep women or something, it’s much more productive to focus on developing your “vibe” than obsess about dick . But they don’t seem to see that. They watch all this theory about dating and stuff but can’t seem to see this obviousness lol Also appearance for men is not the same as appearance for women when it comes to how strongly associated it is with their sex appeal. Totally different. also I have worked hard with my appearance . I understand this post sounds like I’m complaining (which it isn’t really, but most people couldn’t write such a thing without complaining so they interpret it that way) but I rarely rarely “complain” like that. Some of these men spend so much energy whining and getting nowhere while there are these men out there with smaller penises but who got that vibe that be living their lives…. i have actually made improvements. And the things I can’t change I accept or even like or dig deeper into. It’s a different approach. also you say “now it’s up to women to be satisfied with me”. Thats a kind of mindset that shows you want to look better to get women’s approval, which a lot of these men seem to look for. And you also seem to want “confidence boost” so it’s also about yourself too… for me; I know there are plenty of men who would fuck me. That doesn’t make me wanna work less on my body lol , not in the slightest so it isn’t about their approval in some way . What is it then? Hmmmm

Well maybe because they don’t see how it matters because they view the problem as more psychological and independent of my appearance. I see my potential in my mind very clearly. And then I see how I look, the contrast shines so clear to me. The details aren’t relevant imo. well a better question would be what can the ideal in my mind experience that I can’t . Everything in a way

That’s the part I’m trying to get to can’t u tell

Desiring can be fun

Totally resonate, lately I’ve been naturally drawn to dance a lot. It’s like a new way of approaching life

A lot of people train in this mechanical ego driven way so disconnected from the body. That’s why we see so many injuries I guess . Working out can’t compensate for a lack of open connection to the body so they will still need those other stuff to feel okay

We’re trying to feel grounded somehow I guess?

You have a point def. I find some women I see have this femininity in they way they express themselves that brings their looks up . I care about all of that too. Almost subconsciously practicing lol it can even be silly how it’s done sometimes. But then the looks has been this missing frustrating painful peace of the puzzle of this ultimate feminity ughhhhhh people get very offended when you point out underlying tendencies or something , as you say . As if it isn’t obvious to them already

True that. For me it has more been centered around my sexuality, so other things are pretty chill (intellect etc)

The “no personal” about this for me has been realizing how my body and biology wants this as much as me so it’s not purely my desire. So yea there is zero resentment in my post just a burst of authentic expression that is maybe lost in the wording The fact that looks fade just makes the sense of rush stronger rather than bringing relief lol

some of us feel so dead we’d love to be a part of this game of survival

That’s cute <3 im very glad you have peace in yourself you can have all the self esteem in the world and still have problems with the state of your body, as a separate object from you almost just saying

You def have a point. I see how there is suffering in all sides of it but I want to share this essence with my body as a desirable vessel for it….

Ofc they can. It’s more about the state of my body being undesirable thus I experience it a as a hindrance to my enjoyment of those things. trevligt