Sugarcoat

I’m good ?

If you really want answer I think this is wrong place to ask , even as a woman myself I have no clue what the typical woman would do in that scenario, maybe go out do some poll, ask a bunch of women, your family members, mom , your grandma, female friends, teachers etc , as an opener line maybe even at the bar or something , if you’re brave enough .

Nah it’s just personal preference ? each to their own?

What would the answer to this give you? (If there even is an answer to what you wondering )

It was all good until all the people joining???

it can be that you’re not moving enough physically so that need for movement is being expressed as this shaking so it’s actually healthy in a way If you’re forced to sit down a lot, and shaking makes you feel better I don’t see the problem?

@TheCloud mm that’s what how I would define it too from my experience. Even if there might not be an ~actual~ difference between others and self, or between the neural connections (would disagree about the neurons here hehe) , doesn’t change that there is an~experienced~ difference. now you probably agree with this. So for me, when people talk about “absolute truths” like that, since it doesn’t connect to my experience - it feels pointless to talk about usually. As I tend to contemplate things that move my experience, or connect to it somehow. maybe it does so for you tho.. It also connects to one’s desires. For me I don’t really have a desire to eradicate this sense of self and other (at least not consciously, although one could say this is where things are seemingly going anyways), as it isn’t connected to suffering ~per se~ , although it can be. it seems to me that when one wants something, there is usually some mental idea associated with how it would be. So why you want it may I ask? I like to think that we want to have sense of self and other in certain ways, for example man and woman attraction . A sort of “presence “ Lastly. I don’t know if you have had “awakening experiences” or something of that sort. But I had this permanent shift (if it’s not illegal to say such things about oneself here) . And I’ve been trying to understand the difference. one could say, before there was a sense of self that was bound to a particular mind pattern. Suffering was connected to this. Then when the shift happened i was released from this mind pattern permanently. So no longer bound to the mind. But it was not the end of sense of self altogether, it’s just not ~bound~ to that mind and it’s fixed patterns anymore. So no suffering in the same way as before. Everything is freed up . Not saying this is that unity you talk about tho, just saying to show another perspective on this

That’s very cool. I’ve also had some interesting experiences during that phase between wakefulness and sleep. A couple of years ago there was this one year I had upwards of 50 sleep paralysis episodes, sometimes several in one night. They stopped after a while though . I believe it relates to energy moving through your body, nervous system is healing/changing , so positive as you say . One can def receive messages too, from the subconscious perhaps. Very fascinating to say the least

There’s a difference between experiencing as if it’s all your mind, and feeling existentially alone vs simply going back and forth with ideas in your head wether it’s true or not, but your daily experience is not what is described as this solipsism syndrome. Don’t really see the point in this back and forth in your mind. What if it’s true? Doesn’t really change your everyday experience still

Yea most people have that to some degree. I don’t really see how your life is how it is because of fomo? I’ve never really had it tho the only fomo i used to have was fear of missing out on my ideal self or something hahah . Very different existence

Well the thing is this post was kind of useless in a way because I have realized for myself that this is largely natural and genetic so if you naturally are like the vast majority of humanity who is more outside focused (or something of both but from my perspective it seems very outside) then that is how you are down to your genes and existential level. So yes for the vast majority of people the inside outside will be intrinsically bound. Now that unity you speak of not really sure what you mean although I can sort of relate to the experience of it. I can say for me that when my attention is very much inside, one of the reasons it’s because there is some important “processing” going on so it’s like all the attention is withdrawn from the world to gather itself into this process of processing. Then when it’s sort of satisfied for a little moment my attention can become more balanced and “even” but it’s all driven from the inside out if it makes sense. . I can only guess for most people their attention is more out so one could say, to go inward (can force this by for example turning down external stimuli by being alone for example.) seems to help people “process” stuff , one benefit of it . And this “internal processing” (of suffering for example) one can say is an independent process that seems to be helped by attention to it or something idk . I’m always contemplating all of this so it’s very hard to explain. So there it’s like, inward focus has benefits to you for example by aiding this processing of shit in you, so I’m guessing that can create more of that harmony you speak of or? So it’s kind of about “the way” there. Going from outside in, to create more harmony , for most it would look like that. Or how to create that harmony you say? also I don’t really see the benefit in outside awareness unless it’s about things that benefit you or connect to you somehow so for example the basic stuff like what’s in front of you so you don’t get hit by car when walking, that awareness is important. Then if you’re engaged and doing something that connect to you like I’m writing this post . But in my experience my attention just is always inward primarily , and it has great benefits .. well yes it is unroductive to “deny” the outside as you say because most people are just naturally dependent on the outside (one could say this is a spectrum of how much) so that would be denying their nature somehow. But I don’t really mean like that. It’s more I’m shining light on a certain dynamic, then it might resonate or not. But idk , maybe there is more “choice” in it than it seems to me. Also quick add on. “The inside can never be truly independent from outside”. Depends on what you mean I guess. Because even “the outside” can actually be the inside in form of outward mental projections so it’s like you think you have problems with outside or are being affected by it but it’s your inside projected outward I wrote this fast and as I said very hard to explain it’s 4 am don’t have energy to correct i hope somehow make sense

Same

It doesn’t work because it’s a deeper problem than something that can be solved from outside trying to help see what I’m saying ?

I’ve thought about it too why it seems there are less females. Don’t think it’s possible to confirm tho might just be a difference in how it expresses itself and how men have been more likely to share it with the world or something ..

No ofc not it’s just I believe your focus is off. Theres deeper problems going on for them than lack of compassion from outside I would say so that is not this grand solution you proposing

that would just be a temporary boost at most it’s deeper problem with them

Telling someone to man up etc can be can be very compassionate

This post is lowkey more offensive to those men it’s like you’re implicitly saying they don’t have the capacity to “man up”

Or just be introvert ? ??

??‍♀️

That was sweet of you thanks. It’s up to the moderators at this point I don’t care personally?

No problem ?

Interesting tnx

@NoSelfSelf thanks that was nice summary ? so yea @Ajax basically what he said ? but I’ll add some things here. I’ll try to keep it short. Or not. “how suffering is independent of outside “ “of what “ “by focusing on yourself you are dealing with it directly” Yes so one aspect of self awareness/focusing on yourself, which is the more “spiritual” one which is one of the things I mentioned in the post: becoming directly aware of how your suffering: thoughts , mental projections, feelings, stress in the body, resentment etc (aspects of you) exist on their own, independently from anything outside of you. Yes they could be triggered by outside, and they can be about the outside, but ultimately they are not bound to outside circumstances. So by becoming directly aware of this allows for detachment from them, so this suffering can naturally dissolve by not being “fed” which is what I mean by dealing with it directly. Instead of experiencing/believing , aka “feeding the story”, that something outside yourself needs to change for this suffering to be resolved. So could be anything here, in this post I’m talking mostly about this men/women dynamic so men complaining about women or vice versa. And regarding tension, I basically mean suffering, even if it’s very subtle. So this is more the spiritual aspect as I said but this self focus can permeate all your life just like he said above. also another point about male female dynamic so one thing that decides who you end up with , which I guess is more applicable to women, is not only who you ~attract~ but also who you are ~attracted to~ . So ones taste evolves naturally as one develops , heal and go deeper into oneself. This “sensing” ability grows, so you are sensitive to yourself you become sensitive to others. So instead of worrying about why are men trash ? no problem because you won’t even be attracted to such!! “Focusing on yourself means prioritizing your own needs and desires above that of other people” Yes one aspect. You view people the same as yourself tho. So I’m taking responsibility for myself, others have responsibility for themselves too. I’m dealing w my own shit others deal with their own. You mentioned relationships. Well.. you’re focusing on yourself because you just naturally down to genetical level function that way, and want to, its the only thing that makes sense to you. It works for you. It’s a way of operating, naturally your attention goes to yourself and all that you are. It’s not about being compatible with someone. Someone will be drawn to you because you are as you are, and you will be drawn to them so they become a part of the fulfillment of your desires so become your priority one could say. “Leads to selfishness” well one could say everyone is selfish even those who don’t seem The sexual frustration well focusing on yourself doesn’t mean automatically you do whatever your mind comes up with. It’s more a general way, of you being foundation of your life , optimizing yourself first and foremost ok I’ll end it here ?? this clears something up phew ??✏️✏️✏️✏️ And thanks for your kind words

So I’m guessing the tension part is what sounds ambiguous. Im kinda just shining light on how your suffering is independent of outside so by focusing on yourself you’re dealing with it directly instead of looking for outside solutions . I think you agree with me on some level, but I tend to write drawing from my direct experience, which is a wacky one to say the least so understandable it might not hit home