Krife

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Everything posted by Krife

  1. A few years ago, I moved from Nashville, Tennessee back to Washington state where I’m originally from, to live in my car and “find myself.” Spent the better part of 3 years in a 2011 Nissan Altima, successfully detaching myself from family and friends, and dove headfirst into a deep soul search, with a clear intention of connecting to myself as god. I had breakthroughs. Honestly it was an intense experience. Had Leo’s videos, along with a few others keeping me company via YouTube (premium because no commercials ) and I would drive around my hometown, delivering food for Uber eats, making just enough money to keep the journey going. I came face to face with a lot of the plagues of my childhood, bringing up everything from painful ex girlfriend breakups, the park where I got teased as a kid, the swimming pool where I almost drowned. That kind of stuff. And I absorbed it all. Basically welcoming all the dark memories of my early years to come up and let me look at them through a different lens. I did experience a few backlashes. Even posted here on the forum, asking for “gods advice”, hoping some of you on here, could help center me out. It took Leo’s gas lighting video to re-ground me and pop me back into myself. Also a member on this forum stepped in and helped straighten me out. Shout out to “puporing”. ? So I’ve been a musician, professionally for the last 15 years +, working as a touring guitar player for different artists. Spent most of that time in Nashville. Then Covid happened and shut the world down. I took it as an opportunity to hit the pause button and go solo on myself. Was literally craving a cabin in the woods to do what I now understand to be contemplative, introspective work. And because I was foolish with money and immature in the way I handled it, I couldn’t afford a cabin in the woods. However I did have a car. And that car would be my solo retreat, meditation cabin on wheels. The journey basically went like this: Contemplate. Breakthrough. Contemplate. Ego backlash. Start again. Contemplate. Breakthrough. Contemplate. Ego backlash. Contemplate. And so on for 3 years. Thankfully I got out of the whole living in my car situation and I’m back living in Nashville, in an actual home, 10 minutes south of the city!and artistically inspired. Funny what a little conscious determination can do. Still a little shaky with staying consistent in I am god awareness, who’s been dreaming all this up. When it does come on it’s beautiful. Anyway, just a random update from a fellow forum member Leo I’m playing guitar for a rock band in Vegas July 1st at Stoney's Rockin Country @ 7pm. Your names on the list. Haha.
  2. Any advice on dealing with family and awakening? Mine is deeply unconscious, with a victim mentality paradigm. I want to leave them. Dad is batshit crazy and my mother is so self absorbed and narcissistic. I’m terrified where I came from. The thought of leaving them seems so extreme but I can now see just how misaligned with Truth they are. If I don’t leave it’s like I’m just swimming in my families bullshit that only generates toxic codependent games and outcomes. I’m still a bit fragile in this work, so makes sense I can be easily triggered still. How have some of you navigated awakening and family life?
  3. For the last three years, throughout the day, I‘ll randomly tap into this state of feeling pure awe that any of this, including any of us, are here. Particularly at this point in history. No depression, no negativity towards any of it… just a genuine sense of awe and wonder for everything that’s going on in the world and what’s around me in that moment. Kinda spooky but also kinda beautiful. This dream we’re all in is wild. Happy 2023 peeps ✌️
  4. I was getting paid an unnecessary amount of money by a publishing company in Nashville to write songs for a range of different artists from 2018-2020. It was my dream job. Lasted 2 years. Turns out I was terrified of success ? I have a bipolar condition and didn’t become conscious of it until a couple years ago. It got me fired from my dream job in 2021. I live in a large bell tent now in Snohomish, WA and am working on putting my life back together in a healthier, more grounded way. Meditation, micro trips, introspection, concentration and this community has changed my entire experience and I’m grateful to you all ? The Kanye post I made was out of sympathy deep down. I was also at my cruising altitude with a medium dose of fantastic Washington LSD. You can clearly see that this man is in pain. Hurts to see anyone struggle. BUT he does posses an extremely powerful, influential voice that millions listen to. Who am I to say? I just hate to see the guy hurt. Deep down kinda thing.
  5. I could be bonkers. More than likely. But my contemplations have been getting, what I feel to be rather profound lately. Life transformative epiphanies on a now regular basis. This idea fascinates me. Please forgive the rookie material. My question: is my direct experience the continuation of all past lives? I remember Leo mentioning before it’s over, I will have experienced everything. With emphasis on everything. (I) realize this is a deep one, which means I’m probably well beyond this understanding. So keep that in mind. Thanks for the pointers in advance. I’m waking up more and more each day and hold extreme gratitude for Leo and this community. It’s inspired me after years of needless, yet insufferable self suffering. ❤️?
  6. I’ve been in deep contemplation lately. This question is for Leo or anyone who’s conscious of Truth. So. This direct experience that I’m having right now. This experience of my two thumbs tapping across the screen of my phone as I type this out. That , now this, now this…….. that is god?
  7. Try to find the colors of their spirals ? Fascinating watch, perspective of LSD from both ends and life in the 1960’s https://youtu.be/BnoCHlybAnU
  8. Extremely powerful blueprint for anyone who’s struggled with old, repressed emotions from their childhood. Goes deep in that respect. Felt like finding the circuit breaker to the false self. In my dream anyway