CoolDreamThanks

Feels like you intuit that it’s fine and I would agree. It’s a basic human need, like food. When I tried to limit my lust, it began expressing itself in more unhealthy ways. Maybe that’s the reason there’s so many scandals in churches with priest and children? They limit themselves, but the pressure inside is so intense that they want to release it in anyway possible, even if it’s destructive. i love porn. There’s so many sexy girls to enjoy for free and there’s something new everyday. Love non-weird hentai too. I especially love combining weed + porn. The experience is so engaging!

Sorry for the depressing post. Thank you for the advice, everyone. 🖤 I get scared sometimes and want to get help through these types of posts. my new post describes how I will try to proceed. Let me know if you agree with that.

I hate life. There are some good moments, when revalation comes, but I can’t come back to God because I have to fucking work a shitty, soul-sucking job just to keep a roof over my head. My job eats up all of my mental and physical capacity. I am a slave. And when I get old and I am no longer a good slave, as I am sick and mentally degraded, I get thrown in the dumpster to suffer out my remaining days in pain. Even when I work hard to get ahead in my job, I still don’t see good results. I’m not smart and I know it. Life is suffering. How the fuck did God mess up so bad that now there’s mostly hell? I wish it would all end. I can’t even kill myself because I will have to come back to the same psycho planet again. I think I get how to wake up, but life isn’t even giving me a chance to do it, since I have to slave away my time to the system. God, why have you forsaken me?

The end of me After around 10 years of spirituality, I feel like I have begun to grasp what is required to return home to God. And it's not what I wanted to hear. As Ken Wapnick says, you don't want to hear the message because it says you must stop existing as an individual who makes choices. You are happy learning metaphysics and becoming a master of concepts, but that's just ego puffing himself up instead of dissolving. The mind has to accept that it must choose against itself in favor of God. True spirituality destroys the individual self, who thinks, chooses, has opinions, ideas, desires, and so on. It's the internal controller of life, realizing that it is completely incapable of making a correct choice in any situation because it knows nothing. It doesn't know what will happen in the next millisecond. How can it know what choice to make now that will result in a positive outcome in five, ten, or twenty years? Grandiosity The issue with the human mind is that it has an intrinsic grandiosity about itself. Metaphysical understanding doesn't solve this issue. It amplifies it. The ego now thinks that it is God, thus entrapping itself within its own delusion. The mind begins to believe that now it is capable of true knowledge. It is truly repelling to read "spiritual" writings from humans when they think they "got it." They begin to teach other egos, now feeling even more superior. How shocking it is to realize that no one knows anything, including me. I did all of the things I am writing about. Due to the nature of life, I don't feel guilty about them, but I do see the error. All egos are the same. Only the surface expression differs. The underlying operational mechanism of the human mind is the same across the whole species. The way the mind expresses its dysfunctionality depends on the programming it has received throughout its life. Absolutist rhetoric There is an absolutist rhetoric within the languaging of humans, which reflects their internal position. They placed themselves on a pedestal while operating from an intellect that is faulty 99.99% of the time. Here's what ChatGPT 4o says about absolutist rhetoric: Absolutist rhetoric refers to a form of communication that presents ideas, beliefs, or arguments in an uncompromising and inflexible manner. This type of rhetoric is characterized by: Certainty and Definitiveness: Absolutist rhetoric asserts that a particular position is unquestionably correct, leaving no room for doubt or alternative perspectives. It often uses language that conveys a sense of total certainty, such as "always," "never," "must," or "impossible." Exclusion of Middle Ground: It tends to reject any middle ground or compromise, framing issues in black-and-white terms. This creates a dichotomy where only two opposing viewpoints exist, with one being portrayed as entirely right and the other as entirely wrong. Moral or Ideological Superiority: Absolutist rhetoric often implies a moral or ideological superiority of one stance over others. It may suggest that opposing viewpoints are not just incorrect but also morally inferior or harmful. Emotional Appeal: This type of rhetoric frequently uses strong emotional appeals to persuade or mobilize an audience. It might employ fear, outrage, or a sense of urgency to reinforce its message and discourage critical examination or dissent. Resistance to Change: Absolutist rhetoric is typically resistant to change or new information that might challenge its established beliefs. It can be inflexible, ignoring or dismissing evidence or arguments that contradict its stance. Examples of absolutist rhetoric can be found in various domains, including politics, religion, and social issues, where speakers or writers present their views as the only acceptable truth and seek to persuade others to adopt this perspective without question. Resistance Another primary operational mechanism of the human mind is resistance. Resistance is closely related to grandiosity and absolutist rhetoric, as both of these contain the idea of certainty. Certainty says I absolutely know that this is bad and this is good. When something that the mind believes is bad is happening, it resists it. It only knows that something bad is happening because it believes that it knows what should be happening, which it would call good. However, if we drop the certainty and accept that we don't know what's best for us, then how can we resist what's happening when it might be good for us? If I am certain that I shouldn't be working in this job, God should provide me with a miracle and free me from this prison; I am closed to the possibility of this job being a lesson that teaches me that I am the devil himself. How else would God show you the error in your ways if you are certain you are right? Perhaps he will let you do what you want to and allow you to get burned by life until you drop the idea of certainty and humble yourself. When you know that you don't know anything, then you are open to listening and following. I wanted a voice to talk to me, telling me the correct path, but I am incapable of even discerning between my own internal voice and the Voice of the Holy Spirit. So, how does one proceed? Perhaps he doesn't. He becomes so humble that life carries him wherever life wants to, and the mind doesn't question life or resist it. At the very least, it appears that life has its own intelligence, which is higher than human's, so going against it is arrogant. The "I don't know mind" Currently, the internal state of my mind could be described as I don’t know anything, and that’s all I know. The mind doesn’t become wise. It only sees the errors in its ways and stops assuming that it is intelligent. If, after realizing this, it once again begins to think that it is somehow superior to others, it falls back into the trap of grandiosity. The mind understands how incapable it is and leaves it at that. Whenever it begins, out of habit, to think of any thought it believes to be true, it reminds itself - I don't know whether this is true or false. I am incapable of judgment. I am impotent as a mind. Inferior. Not bad or sinful, simply unwise. It can still offer opinions when they are needed when interacting with other minds, but its ideas are rooted in the attitude of I don't really know. It’s all guesswork by a low-level intelligence that understands it’s unwise. Peace of not knowing After shifting into this state of mind, the mind becomes more silent because there is not much for it to say when it understands that all it says is untrue. It feels peaceful. It also seems like situations in the world become resolved without much or no conflict because you don’t assume a strong position since you are aware of your incapability to engage in accurate subjective judgment. How do you make decisions? What should I eat now? Which food is good or bad? I have no idea. I feel a desire for a specific food, and I don’t resist it. That’s it. Should I lay in bed or go for a walk? I have no idea. I feel a desire and go with it. I don't judge it. If there is no desire to do anything, I don’t judge myself for that as well. Should I create a business? I have no idea. If I have a desire to do something in the moment, I do it and don’t expect anything from it. How could I hope for something to happen when I don’t understand anything? Good, bad, right or wrong, I have no clue. Perhaps I am truly hoping for my demise when I am daydreaming about a scenario I think will be good for me? That happened more than once. Conclusion In the end, I don't know. All that is written here might be untrue.

Today, I just feel like: and:

@Breakingthewall @gettoefl Thank you both. Beautiful, profound, and helpful sharings

Do I understand correctly that in the trip report I mentioned, the person identified as God, which is why it's scary? The self that identifies has to dissolve, and then Infinite Love can manifest? Somehow, in my trips, I don't really get that deep realization of —I am God. I enter trips after a week or two of meditating and then just dissolve into beautiful love/light, where I don't even feel like I exist; it's just heavenly, but without realizing that it is heavenly if that makes sense. There is no realization that I am. It's just love without it looking back on itself. Is that the end, the infinite you refer to?

@gettoefl Do you agree with the idea that life is a solipsistic dream, a God pretending to be human, puppeteering all of the characters in a dream but limiting himself to the feelings and thoughts of one character, pretending to be only him? Like a dream at night? I've just read this profound, beautiful, and kinda of scary trip report. Maybe you saw it already, but here it is:

wowwww. this feels so authentic and deep and profound and scary

@gettoefl How do you reconcile free will and the Plan? Is it another thing that this mind can't really grasp? The interplay between the Plan and our own choices. Is it correct to try to align yourself with the Plan by not resisting whatever is happening and trusting in the higher power? I try not to make any radical decisions anymore, just going with whatever life presents, trusting it is for the best.

Okay, didn’t expect to understand, but I think I get it at least to some degree. I might not understand the full importance of it, though. how did you reach this understanding?

Wow. Feels so true and what I needed to hear now!!!!!!!! 🥰🖤🕊️🌊🤯 thank you.

Wow. i don’t feel like I can say words so deep and loving authentically, though. Does it make sense? Am I constructing blocks myself? Your message was 🤯

Yep. Tried to figure out what it is exactly and failed.

Amazing, that’s exactly what I was thinking - this human mind cannot grasp a Plan that is being operated from a much higher dimension.

@Someone here 🙏🙏🙏

I think I’m close to this type of thinking. Also felt like the Osho qoute you have is so accurate. View from my balcony: this part of “Crying park” near Jerusalem region in Lithuania is called “The Path of the Cross”.

@gettoefl could you give an example of this in practice?: “you have to see their innocence, their pristine nature this will mean that they are blessed and they return that blessing to you since they are rejoicing that you really saw them for who they are vision is merely to see with thoughts and not with images, all images are false and thoughts must be turned over to HS from the ego“ when you are with others do you think nice thoughts about them, if so, what kind? Or is it just the inner silence?

I won’t give up. I just don’t want to pretend like I get it. does feel close, closer than ever. Interestingly, now that I feel and believe that I know nothing — the Truth seems closer than ever. thank you for your kind words. 🖤

I’ll be honest — still don’t get it. i might be retarded or it’s difficult to grasp. 😁 thank you for the insightful message anyway. 🥰

Uu nice, exactly what I realised today.

Can it be defined? I recently began thinking that it is not possible to put it into concepts and grasp it with this mind. This mind is too limited to understand something so grand and multidimensional. and even all that I wrote above might be wrong. I have no clue wtf is hapenning.

Wow, beautiful message. do you agree that the vision you talk about requires, moment by moment, an efortless choice to stay in the I Am inner state? i feel like I lose it all the time. But now I am not sure if that is needed, perhaps I misunderstand what is meant by Vision. i barely judge anymore, but I guess that isn’t it, either? I don’t really get it. The path home.

Hmm, interesting. That wouldn't be enough for me personally to give him credibility. As mentioned, he seems to lack an understanding of the illusory nature of life. Also, he is not emanating peace. Jesus, as transmitted through the teacher you recommended to me, says that he used the eminence of peace from a teacher as a measuring stick to know which teacher is a true teacher and which is false. In The Disappearance of the Universe, the Apostles also warn about charismatic teachers, which I believe this shaman is. Just giving my 2 cents. Hope you're doing well!

When they talk about being playful? Listened to a few minure sbut the host talks about his mom.