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You may be right at the breaking point. The ah-ha moment as it's called. The first time experiencing it, I felt like a freaking ghost. Everything I ever related to as being "ME" was suddenly gone.

@Heart of Space When you had the realization, it was a seeing through the illusion of self?

@Heart of Space Listen to this very carefully and you will find the answer to what you really are

This being the case, find a way out. I know that sounds easy but your young. You can make it happen! Look at all your options. Education mostly.

@Heart of Space This is it without all the fancy additives-"Rest as Awareness" What a great message.

I would imagine meditating in a Zen garden would work really nice too.

@HereNowThisMoment Here is something that I find very beneficial and is so effortless and natural. Every chance I get I will sit in nature in a secluded spot. Like the deep woods. Maybe do some meditation to quiet the mind and than just sit quietly. In no time you will totally loose yourself and all that will remain is pure awareness of existence. It's like god is looking through your eyes. It may feel little freaky the first time, like your really letting go of yourself because you vanish as a self being the one doing the looking. Just rest as awareness and let it happen of it's own. It's great.

Koans are questions with no logical answer that are used to break the mind of it always wanting the answer to every question. Like breaking in a wild horse, it finally gets so exhausted it gives up. At some point the mind totally gives up and surrenders causing a gap. Than true progress can be made when the student realizes how futile it is to use the logical thinking mind. Allow pure awareness to be present as much as possible by becoming totally silent. It will consume what has never been true.

What is infinite and boundless is found deep within the stillness of the moment. If you can step back and let there be only pure awareness of one sunset , you realize the awareness of infinite sunsets. Your labels of the conceptual mind break down as in "counting sunsets". Every sunset that has ever been and will ever be is happening within the moment. Everything melts into oneness/emptiness and all the remains is what is boundless and infinite. It opens that door where there no longer exists "this" or "that" or you or any constraints of the mind...

The true self is that which exists beyond our 9-5 self. Sometimes also referred to it as pure being,, atman, soul ect. It seems to an essence of self as just a silent observer to pure awareness that exists beyond personal identification. When the mind and all it's noise is transcended, all that remains is pure awareness/emptiness for all things to arise within. Nothingness is a field that surrounds everything within the moment. This field can be experienced really strong after a deep meditation. Nothingness, pure awareness and existence within this moment are realized as one unified field. Each moment is a still or snapshot that is static. The illusion of time flowing from past to future is stills strung together, one after another like a movie reel that allow for change from one static moment to the next. *I understand that everything explained here is a conceptual framework, but sometimes it has to be digested by the conceptually thinking mind before it can be experienced directly. I do that often. BTW- "Zen Mind, Beginners Mind" is one of the first books I read about Zen. Good choice! "In the beginners mind there exists all possibilities".

@Rahul yadav When I first started meditation, I noticed a humming or ringing in my ears which is normal and most people have but ignore it for the most part. You may be talking about something quite different though. I read once that when the pineal gland is becoming activated, it can give the impression of a humming sound in the head. If that's true or not, I have no idea.

@Leo Gura Wouldn't a deep experience of something much larger than self cause a jump to a higher level? @JustinSThe hippie movement was a mass awaking by a new generation - mother earth, oneness. universal awareness. human rights. love, peace truth. no more wars, expansion of consciousness and so on. It was a sudden awakening to a universal view for a Lot of people who were raised by a self centered and paranoid culture that had no place for an all inclusive holistic view for the benefit of the planet as a whole. Those in the lower tier would not accept the different view that was suddenly emerging by people who realized the "status quo" was very flawed and "unhealthy for children and other living things".

@Atom Well that's nice. You did cry in the moment for a reason.

Just out of curiosity, which one feels right to you as being the most beneficial. @ChimpBrain

@Natasha Thoughts floating around like bubbles in a collective consciousness. I was never aware of the "pushed into" before. Could that partially explain why I meet new people in my sleep? I know their presence exists.

@Atom Hi Atom. Could you be repressing thoughts when you are alert/awake and when you let your guard down by falling asleep they surface? A lot of this work is about acceptance of the contents of the sub-conscious mind. It must become a totally open book. When it's contents are acknowledged and let go of, all that remains is the moment. When you cry in the moment, there will be crying. When you are sad in the moment, there will be sadness.

Thoughts are like weeds. They just pop up out of nowhere. The trick is not to nurture them and they quickly die off.

@Mal I heard the weather isn't so great there this time of year due to time vortex storms. A nasty one can really ruin an otherwise great vacation.

@Ayla Pure white light is composed of all the colors. We can see them individually, reds blues, yellows, or as a whole.

@Ayla I'm back to dull and opaque self again. It's not too bad, just O.K. For a moment there it was nothing but pure light energy, than it slowed down and became vibrations and resonations and they settled down and became material matter/existence that we are as a body/mind.

@Ayla We are radiant

Resonate is a more recent use of the word of "vibe". Meaning connecting on a much deeper level than the gross. An underling vibration of sorts. "I can dig that vibe" has become " I resonate with that". What is "It" that we resonate and are one with? Maybe light energy in a completely different spectrum than what is perceived by the eye. Light energy resonating itself into matter and the field of awareness? Could everything be a field of light?

@Oneness Here is another way to explain it. You can learn all there is about skydiving. You can practice it all your life on the ground. You can talk to many people who have skydived before. But at some point, it's totally up to you to take the final leap of faith. You have to be willing to jump out of "self" in the same way you would jump from the plane.