Hey guys,
don't know why, but I had a sudden impulse to make a thread here. Last time I wanted to start a topic it was about my life story which has been quite traumatic, severe depression and trauma, therapy, hospitalisation and difficult feelings. Actualized.org and the topics of spirituality (the main subject I connect with actualized.org) have been life saving in those moments with other ressources so I could go through these tough times to get out on the other side, more mature, with more understanding and more experience and experiences. What is interesting that some things/topics seem to be integrated into my system and not show up anymore. What is tough is orienting in this reality again, back to conventional reality with people, job and so on but with a time which from my understanding only few people can relate to - Spirituality (kundalini experiences, satori, buddhism, shadow work, integral life, absolute reality, conscious, life as an illusion) and mental illness (trauma, nervous system, archetypes- in particular aswell as philosophical questioning.
Now from my understanding there isn't really much to do here given the spiritual understanding although on the other side I seem to be back at those times in my life path where traumas didn't let me make the next step which from my interpretation and understanding of this human experience and creature would be - getting a career, getting integrated intoi society, get a girlfriend make money and have experiences - which had been my sloppy plan my whole life before shit hit the fan.
Now what gets me intoi trouble is that my cognitive processing seems to have changed from all this years. I don't feel as creative and thoughtful as in the past. there is less to say, but on the other hand I'd like to feel more vital.
The thoughts I have are doing a course on Project management, continuing my studies in social works which I had to cancel due to the pandemics and severe psychological reaction to it.
Other interests I have are
Spirituality and Buddhism/Daoism/QiGong Kung fu.
Psychoanalysis
Working out (I want to run a Marathon soon, learning pullups.
Let's see where this leads to. I definitely have to get going and do something at this point. Doesn't matter what, just getting back in the back. Hopefully this will be a worthwhile journey.
Sincerely