Jenkins

no gamble no smoking (both cigarettes and good stuff) focus on exercise, work & get a loving, positive & beautiful girlfriend Terms may not apply in 2024, I might eventually miss being toxic

So I have tremendous experience with girls. However due to addictions and lots of other things happening, my market value decreased. It started recently that I dated someone who remembered myself of me - and I ran as fast as I could. At the moment I'm growing and developing in many ways, however at the current stage I'm attracting only girls that are barely attractive to me. Should I take a break of like 6 months from dating and focus solely on myself, until I grow more and kill most of my demons, or should I continue dating girls I don't *really* like? In retrospective, the comment of Leo in regards to trying to date girls I really like made me think about this. However I want to spend most of my time focusing on myself, and given my current situation, the only way I can get the quality girls I want is through game, which rubs me off the wrong way. I am so good at game I feel like I can turn any girl's buttons in a matter of a couple of hours, however I don't feel genuine doing that anymore either, I feel like I'm faking being someone I'm currently not. What are your thoughts about this? Any books I can read about this?

@NoSelfSelf how can I do that?

Dismissive / avoidant

Sorry for the long post. I try to be as concise as possible, however still a lot of text remained So I met an awesome girl around 3-4 years ago, and the relationship was great in all regards. We ended it because she was wanting family and kids and I am not willing to take that road. She's not my most recent ex, I had a few important relationships in between. However, this is the girl I'm thinking about from time to time, especially when feeling down. Since then, when I had my last breakup, I started talking with her again and we talked about how much she misses me and I would probably the greatest she ever had. However I didn't want to see her face to face for some reason. My emotions are very disturbing at the moment, especially because I want to focus solely on making money until I'll be successful and I already have a few good girlfriends I'm seeing casually during this period. How can I get her out of my mind? How can I transform this in a past beautiful experience and simply move on? I'm sure that if I'll see her in real life I'll end up probably wanting to be exclusive with her and for sure waste more time on this relationship than I planned. I also want to be as productive as possible in regards to health and making money (therefore learning as I'm acquiring skills of copywriting at the moment). If you have any tips or suggestions for anything above, let me know

When you tell a girl you don't want a relationship and why?

So I discovered Cobra Tate, and I think he has some interesting views in regards to the world. I want to know how more enlightened people think in regards to what and how he thinks

@vizual https://youtu.be/EL8Zx7zi64w Here's an example

Hello, I started being an honest player for some months and I gathered a few girls I've been seeing recurrently. Any tips from experienced people on how to manage this lifestyle best possible? (In the next 6 months to a year I want to focus on myself, and I don't wish to mean more or anyone to mean more to me than my plans in regards to my progress)

I've started seeing recurrently around 5 girls, and all was awesome until... The day before Vday I've seen one and had mad sex with her, came a lot and had plans to see another one the next day to spend the evening and all that. I was thinking that more than 12 hours of rest and I'd be good. However that wasn't the case. Made the second one feel great, sexually was in heaven, yet I couldn't get the little soldier up and working. You have any tips for that? What's a good rule of thumb to prevent such instances? Also, any healthy diet / supplements that would help with being as sexually active as possible? Also, emotionally wise I noticed that I tend to be colder and colder with them, as they get warmer and warmer. I've been honest from the start about wanting to be single for a long time, and so far 2 issues seem to emerge: 1. One tends to act very jealous in regards to the others; 2. I'd rather reduce the number / frequency of how often I see them if it might be too much for my sexual drive Any tips?

Hello awesome people, As I continue to grow I face new challenges. I decided that I will stop using weed as I am currently addicted of it, and working through resolving this. The thing that bothers me is one withdrawal symptom, which is no sexual drive / desire at all. Since forever, I've been an individual with a very high sexual drive. Before quitting, I was having a group of a few girls which I was sleeping with, and this no sex drive bugs me, and also it happened to some of them, as they tend to take it personally / take it as I'm not attracted to them. Few of the girls really listened and we organized study meetings instead. Any tips for my situation? Should I put the soldier down while my sex drive is MIA? Have you been through similar situations? I'm also interested in any good tips you might have in regards to the process of quitting weed. Also I'm not sure if it bothers me cause I can't satisfy them, or it's just an ego thing. Thanks!

Lately I've came across something I would consider utterly delusion one month ago, and that is having faith. A faith that when things are beyond my power to resist, I channel myself into the space I create to be able to make a few further steps, which often times are crucial. Do you believe that things are happening for a reason, or they're just random sequences of actions occuring? Reading all kind of spiritual content from all kinds of perspectives I perceive as the best approach so far. However, do you know any other good approach? I'm okay with almost every strategy that would fit an almost daily work schedule. Thank you

@roopepa sorry for the tag, I couldn't remove it :)) I wanna thank everyone and for their awesome insights. I just started this journey and was a hard hitter, so I guess it will be an insightful and difficult one which I'll face with stoicism. I'll share whatever I find useful ?

@roopepa daily for around 2 years, at least a gram ?

So for roughly a month I've been seeing a few girls. I started to care about the ones I see relatively often. Not like I want to get into a relationship with you, however like I care about you as a human being. Even if I don't look like, I'm quite developed in regards to psychology and such. So I noticed things, and I have the will to talk with them about what they're doing wrong and how it is harmful to them / how they can fix that. And in the moment it's good, however I don't want to transition the relationship from a sexual one to a healing / teacher bla bla one . I don't want to ruin the dynamic Any tips and tricks?

So, I have grown a lot in the last months. I have got out of a toxic relationship and I managed to start focusing on myself. I still have 2 things I'm working on and I want to ask for your advice. 1. It's okay if I cut out all substance use for 1 year? I talked with friends and they think it's too radical of a decision to go cold turkey, they using themselves I want to focus on my external world, to get cool clothes, be on point with life in general and travel the world and have experiences, however only external 2. I realized I tend to "get in love" with a few specific girls. I am very good at dating and having awesome skills, so especially the girls I like I attract in most times easily. For 6 months a year it's more beneficial if i simply do casual dating and focus on myself? Or it would be ok if I start a relationship, giving the terms I'm comfortable with? As another option I consider taking a less radical approach, smoking once a week until I'm good with my performance and doing other substances in a way which won't affect me too much, until I find the amount that works for me Much love

So, I've used to be very social and maintained quite a large social circle. 1 or 2 weeks ago I broke up with my girlfriend and I received lots of support and social events invitations, to the point where besides work I partied around a week straight. I don't want to seem ungrateful to the friends that wanted to be near. This week I decided that I want to focus more on growing. I have good friends, however some of them are needy and I'm having a problem setting my boundaries straight, yet working on it. I don't want to be too rude, or too kind and having to explain the fact to them more than necessary. What's the best way to tell your friends that you will limit (by quite a lot) the time you'll spend together? If you want to focus on work and they keep asking to hang out? Should you give any explanations about having not enough time to hanging out as much as in the past? One of my friends was really helpful, yet he is a little more on the needy side. Ideally I would have a preview of my week / month and establish then how often and when I want to hang out. I started recently to internalize that being selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as you don't overdo it. I don't want that socialization to impede my growth, especially when I'm not the one wanting to socialize more. Any tips on how I could approach this situation?

@Preety_India thank you so much. It was a very comprehensive answer. Will try to work on this with the tips given. I believe having the frame that real friends are accepting your needs and not the reverse is a very good idea. Best,

Hello group, so I've been in a toxic relationship for 2 years which left me with some repairs to do, so I decided that for a while (at least 6 mo-1y) I will date multiple women at once. I've done this in the past and I might consider as a lifestyle choice. So far I'm single for 2 days and I've had a few experiences. I want to be totally honest so usually after I consider the girl gets attracted to me enough that I would pull doing my exclusive-minded game, I tell her about my situation, that I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment. Also I tend to attract with more isolating tricks instead of fun and group oriented interactions. You have any tips for me? It's the right moment I tell that I don't want anything serious? (I don't want to hide at all with this, however I don't want to lose out on potential extra sex just because I'm not having the correct approach. Please let me know about what you think

@Federico del pueblo :)) I based my game on radical honesty and told everyone whatever I was thinking, whenever. One of the encounters was this girl who believed that she is high value and men who are doing what I'm doing are pigs. After a little nagging back and forth she got frustrated, threw the drink in my face and left. It was fun :)) The only thing that I got left is to decide whether I want to keep this lifestyle or try with a girl I met. I am aware of the one-itis issue, however I'm pretty experienced and I know what kind of girls I like. I have met this one at a few parties and everytime I fell more and more into her. So far she's the warm kind I like, she's into personal development, she's beautiful and enjoys sex a lot. I don't know what to pick between this and all the other awesome experiences I have planned / might encounter in the future, as the downside of choosing that girl would be an exclusive relationship most certainly. Now I'm staying mentally on the fence for some time and couldn't decide. The option I find to be working theoretically would be going to dates with her once a week for a while and experience awesome shit ahead, until I figure things out. What's your view on this? Any tips? I am 23 and I would pick an exclusive relationship only if the girl would be amazing from many points of view, otherwise I don't see it being worth

So yeah, I've tried since I posted and got much more positive outcomes than I expected. Instead of a 10% rate of girls accepting such conditions which I expected, it turned out to be 80-90%. Simply this was a fuckup for what I believed was true and how girls react to such stuff. For myself I established that telling that you are a player after you have sex is a little late. This might differ, however I would feel like hiding something and I don't want to do that. So I would attract the girl and in 15 min - 1h time frame I would tell them what I'm up to in the most sincere and not cocky way. By doing so I received one drink in the face, 4/5 feedbacks that led straight to sex, one cooled off and stopped talking to me and another 2/3 are in the middle, however on the warm side. I've considered myself very skilled in dating for years and it's amazing to find out from time to time that your blueprint of how women see things still might be so wrong. Kudos to everyone who helped me out with this topic I wish you an awesome life and maybe well bump into each other on other threads

@Federico del pueblo thank you, it makes sense to me, the way you put it

@Federico del pueblo noted regarding the phrasing thing. Can't say I was close to sober when writing that, so after double checking I believe I did a decent job. Don't you believe that after having sex a few times is already late to tell a girl about the player thing? From what I researched some advice for after first time. However, I don't know what to say. I tend to tell them after I see that they're connected enough, like me and tend to display signs of wanting more than talking. This usually happens pretty fast. In the past I've been a pretty decent player, however I used a very manipulative behavior and techniques. Now I'm concerned to get good results while affecting as least as possible the persons I'm interacting with. I would like to have your view on things, or anyone's who might have an insight. Thanks

Check out dating coaches, there is plenty of content free as well. If you maintain good eye contact, tonality, you'll be chill, fun and don't be afraid to open, just by being around things will happen

Hello, So I've noticed that for some time (at least 2-3 years, probably started 4 years ago) I'm getting in the situation in which I'm hitting more or less rock bottom. Afterward, I put in energy, effort, willpower and everything I can to get better (financially, mentally, physically), up to the point I consider myself as good or better than my peers and then it comes the moment when I think that I'm good enough and can accept for example smoking one joint of weed. This last time after doing so, instead of an afternoon I spent 12 days smoking and doing solely this, while my streak of both exercise and learning and being motivated by the two mentioned disappeared. And now it's weird that I'm feeling confused. I know I want to smoke and I know I shouldn't do it if I want to grow in career and have a good physical shape. I'm thinking that I identified myself with the image of the guy who always hits rock bottom and after hardcore gets out of it like an underdog, but I don't seem to love myself enough in order to get out of this paradigm. I am also a very competitive and obsessed guy after I get good at something, yet I like to be friendly and nice and such so this might be also my fail safe not to have to show my "aggressive" sides. Any tips / feedback / any similar cases and how you overcome this?