Jenkins

@Sabth did you start working, or you want to complain here more? The decision is yours

@TwistedOntic @SeaMonster Thank you guys, will research that as well

@Spiritual Warrior I think this might be something I need to go through as well. I always felt bad for when I was a little too much with close ones. However, it makes sense that after a while you're rebalancing yourself to a healthy standard. I've done that from being a complete introvert to as extrovert as I could, and after a couple of years I have balanced myself to something I considered healthy, however I might need to let more assertiveness show. Maybe I'm too empathetic at times

Hello, So I'm giving a real try quitting smoking weed, and also regular cigarettes. I might have an addictive behavior. As time passes, my mind wanders to other ventures of where it could get it's cheap dopamine hit (other drugs, junk food, coca cola, sex, playing video games). My question is: should I give in to some of these cravings, strategically, and without forming a new addiction? I was thinking that I could spend 10% of the money I save by not using, by doing something I'm enjoying or eating something good or whatever. I've also tried Leo's recommended approach, however I feel that I'm not developed enough for that approach, and at least in the first while distractions are good for me. Being aware only rushes too many demons too fast out of my system, and I literally start using again by being too afraid to face everything head on. Also I will try to include as much exercise as possible into my plan, and also be as compassionate as possible. Any tips are helpful ??

Babushka dolls are quite impressive when it comes to an analogy of self improvement: Your ego gets smaller as you grow, until you reach nothingness

I believe I have developed myself a lot, and the more I develop, the red shadow tends to grow as well. Any advice?

I like to have everything figured out in my life, and have control over everything. One thing I can't seem to master is the concept of faith. If I delete the notion of my life, bad outcomes tend to happen. If I believe in it, things go well. And if I try to analyze it too much, bad outcomes tend to happen again. Can anybody enlighten me in regards to this topic?

@The Redeemer the more your life will be more awesome or you will be more awesome as an individual, you will be more appreciated. Also you shouldn't care that much about what others think and treat yourself as how you would want to be treated.

@The Redeemer in my opinion it's about pros and cons. Sure, women have some advantages. However, they also have major disadvantages. It's normal and wired in our mind that grass is greener on the other side. I assure you it's not. Dream about the life you want to have, backwards engineer it and create it slowly, but steadily. If you wish to become a woman it's 2023 so you have that option as well. One thing you will not escape is emotional turmoil. Life will be messy either way. You gotta embrace the chaos. Also look inside you what and why is triggering you. For example, my mom was triggering me and I realized that's what triggering me in relationship to her are the things I hate about myself, which I've got from her. Violence never helps in my opinion, only in a short term very skewed view.

@integral I got a job which has a salary increase of around 50% than my previous one, will start next week. Now I'm going with some of my relatives to celebrate Easter. There will be no weed and hopefully a gap of 4 or 5 days will help me muster the distance to quit it. I'm a little disappointed that the addiction is still lingering, however I'm still fighting it. Besides that, I'm planning to enjoy summer, invest the extra cash in therapy, eating healthy, exercising, going to clubs, festivals and enjoying time with friends. At fall I plan on start growing. Until then, recovery, relaxation and getting into a good kind of homeostasis, with positive stuff, circumstances and people around Hope you are well.

@Applegarden8 thank you. I have decided to follow this path and get sober asap

March is going to be my last month of smoking for this year. I've realized the following: - When you're having fun all of the time, you have no fun anymore; - Truth is of most importance. I will be totally truthful with myself and I will keep on being truthful with others; - Think about what's best option for you in 30 days. If it's not good for future you, don't do it; - You have lots of shallow connections. You'll lose lots of friends. You can't make other people develop, the gap is inevitable. The only way to stop the gap forming is staying in place, and it's not worth it.

The only person keeping themselves in their current situation is me

3. - In order to get to 99 kilograms I'll try to eat under 2,161 Calories daily, and exercise when I feel like I'm able to. - In order to get sober from nicotine and weed addiction, I will consume nothing with nicotine and I will not use THC. If I crave it too severely I will get some HHC. However, I will try to not make it important in my mind or use it more frequent than once a week. - In order to get a job I'm applying to jobs. Currently I have 4 interviews pending this week, trying to schedule around 8 in total. - In order to get a girlfriend, I will be more social, build dates ideas and try my luck (this will become a focus after I'll get a job).

2. - Get to 99 kilograms (~10 kgs to lose) - No nicotine, no THC in 2023 - Get a job - Get a girlfriend