funkychunkymonkey

@Adodd well put i mean im already in out patient services staying clean n all its the little annoyances and outbursts i have been having and dark side of meditation side effects my parents are calling me crazy for

me personally i start with watching the breath till i hit the "neutral" point i guess my mind isnt as wobbly i guess not quite access concentration but a much more "flatline" then i go into trying to just watch what thoughts come not to get caught in them but just watch them (usually i fail) i have been reading ingrams book which i have gotten a lot out of. (my reading kinda sucks) im struggling to kinda understand what ingram is saying when he says insight practice can someone kinda dum it down for me? and besides that what do you guys like to do? im curious to see what you guys do, and if they have had any awakenings from thier meditation practice alone.

saw an incredible vid this brought me to tears. its all just leo basicly but it idk the editing made it beautiful. wonder what u guys think ab this vid god im scared to do this when the time comes, but i know ill b ready by then (change dmt for malt tho)

@happyhappy :] thank you friend! im here for ya

this is bs even if he really did it, he went to school he has knowledge thats most homeless do not.

@Ayham hate to put it like this but YOU cant really pull someone out they have to develop themselves because they want to. but you can change your own views and find compassion in the situation

kinda explained already its self bias i would watch all his vids ab bias and self deception. then you will master the notion selfishness

@Tim R of course, my entire paycheck goes to them anyways but pretty much the rest of the time i dont work i just watch leo play games or do yoga n meditate ur message told me maybe i should take the time now and put more focus into my personal life

@Tim R :[ thanks for being blunt w me kinda needed that

@EntheogenTruthSeeker :C sorry to see you go, well please dont feel singled out, i had made a post about kundalini and my signs of it coming about. that post was taken down as well. i hope you find truth and wish you love and a farewell :]

well im on the island feel free to msg me if u wanna go get smoothies or sum

@Consilience :] thank you the anxiety was so strong, you have helped me greatly!

I have been experiencing heavy anxiety as i sit down to meditate i was able to slide into a neutral sense of peace but now ten minutes into my practice i start feeling very anxious and i end the meditation. does anyone else experience this? how can i hang on?

this is close as i can get to my situation. as i progress in my self actualization journey... i feel myself distancing from my parents. there was a point i was alone and on my own but because of two DUI's my parents took me back into the house (i could have easily said no and got another apartment) but now as i progress. i see my parents as such dogmatic people it sickens me (i know im not high in the chain of spiral dynamics) but im struggling to deal with it! i know its up to me to change how i view this situation, but im struggling :C its killing me, with a tear in my eye.... please help me...

me i feel i havent, ive realized everything and nothingness but i havent been able to integrate it into my life so i feel im not at a spirtually mature level to be called "realized" i still think im human

@LSD-Rumi what im at the point of :C hard fact thats kinda how the cycle breaks

since my arrests, needing to pay back parents for my debts to my parents. not being able to go backto my MMA gym cuz how can i pay them? i decided to buy an MP3 player a piece of a wrestling mat a slam dummy and a new pair of mma gloves. Since watching Leos motivational speech i decided to use this probation time and debt paying time as a "re-pre training" for another heavy push into combat sports. i began jogging and for some reason after my cigaratte smoking n all that wazz i was able to do a mile no problem. Now putting on some pounds my strength needs to catch up! so i have been using the slam dummy doing my double legs, my suplexs. but anyways onto the internal part THIS SHITS LONLEY! im constantly in my head! how could i have been so stupid to get myself arrested and slow myself down so much! now i dont have a gym to train! im out of money! im stuck stacking boxes! i have periods i catch depresssion. even writing this i see the limiting beliefs come in :[. i have much faith in leos words saying little by little. but i cant help but ask what if i never turn pro what if im stuck stacking boxes, wasting away, go back to drugs drinking and just turning myself into jabba the hut. as i train i feel a flow state. that tends to help me get through my day. but still im kind of a hermit i enjoy my alone time i dont have any friends but thats not the hard part. having to move back in with my parents and being back in highschool like rules, idk that eats me a LOT. looking ahead i just feel scared

@Thorsten Fuzzi hello friend! well leo is right ron gronkowski would b jesus at this point. but in his latest vid, FUSE your spiritual practice with your training the results will be amazing me personally im still working on this but little by little im feeling the incline!

i love inspiring people through my actions or the potential of that. i love fighting god damn i love fighting it brings me to tears.... MMA makes me cry seeing top level guys fight thier hearts out./.. leaves me speechless. if i can accomplish my dreams... which one day i have a sense it will happen. anybody can do what they want

Not sure where to start. I always loved fighting, or martial arts/combat sports. i boxed for a few years, did some MMA, some traditional martial arts, i wrestled all the good stuff. but at this part of my life i feel there is a shift. I guess from this point ill start the story here... Im a 21 year old kid (dont wanna b called a man yet but i enjoy my almost child like nature). i had a average growing up life had friends. unfortunately i was sucked into a drug life which eventually lead to my (2) arrests back in july. of course at this time i wasnt training or anything like that. no coaches to slay me for being tired cuz of some pot smokin' this was kinda inevitable (in my path!). so my combat sports did me very well with keeping me on a straight and narrow path. just to be a healthier better me. MMA to me brings me to tears. i cant put my finger on why but this is how i tend to tell people "i was always afraid of dancing but when i ask some of my friends(who i had back in the day(now i dont have any) and who were girls) how it felt to dance. they would say its like a wave of passion and emotion flowing with the movements, some of them would say it gets them so emotional it can make them cry. so for me... thats fighting. im not sure what it is, but i stopped getting invited to fight nights because once i saw a suplex or some sick arm bar i would start tearing up of the beauty, not shouting "FUCK YEAH FUCK HIM UP!" like the rest of them. they would reply "dude are you okay???" of course i was and had to come up with some excuse like alargies because i didnt seem like some emotional NOT macho-man. regardless this shits like dancing to me even if i lose i can somehow find beauty in my defeat. with leos videos, getting tired of my job stacking boxes... i ask myself with fear, "is this my calling" can i break the cycle of wage slavery and project myself as an example to others that dreams can come true. that life is divine. that your life means more than being some wage slave to some greedy unconscious boss. I began crying as i thought this, almost choking, i felt this was REAL. it scared me because i know the challenges ahead. but fuck it beats stacking boxes. and get to do the two things i love most in life. spread love and inspiration, and fight. use myself as an example. so people can see that if some druggie/drunk could shed a tear and fight his way out of the matrix and create a beautiful life there isnt any reason they cant. (even as i write this im crying, the thought of inspiring people through my dreams just chokes me with emotion.) but anyways. still at this point i just train on my own. no gym to go to because im stuck paying lawyer fees back to my parents. dont have a car pretty much back to living like it was back in highschool. lost the apartment, car, freedom. Kinda sucks but i know with enough drive ill be able to fight my way out of this. thanks for reading my first journal, love you all (i know my grammar isnt too good but i hope you guys get the meat of the story :D)

@Jakuchu xDDDDD too funny we should all start shouting CRUCIFY HIM! but nah lol i can understand what he is saying me i advocate for psychedelics but i need to be honest and say im still working for my awakening not induced by psychedelics, man that shits a drag! but im still trying. psychedelics have shown me shit i cant unsee! its impossible to be fake!

@Max8 i have ZERO friends as well after my two arrests i cut everyone off and its just left me alone in my head. what helps me honestly is wishing everybody well and loving everyone not needing anything in return i know it sounds hippie. but its helped me greatly if you dont feel that this would help you then pease dont worry ab my post

my personal biggest advice is simple dont have any expectations and you dont gotta like what you feel just be open to it peace and love cant wait to hear how it went

@impulse9 :] thank you friend

I began my meditation/yoga practice not too long ago maybe a month or more ago. pranayama i kinda struggle with with a nasal injury but besides that. focusing on my root chakra for kundalini, felt the pulse, then felt the heat, afterwards an INTENSE sense of bliss and peace i started to cry. anyways this was a few days ago. i cant seem to get the heat back, is it me expecting it? i have been consciously trying to not expect it and just let it happen but still all i get is the occasional pulses. its screwing with my motivation. imma cut it there i rather keep it short. Peace and love oh and if anyone has found any kriya techniques I humbly ask you share to help me in my journey, and of course these practices are secondary/or complimentary to psychedelics