indigomonarch

Hey everyone, I just wanted to get some insight. I recently came back from Iquitos, Peru where I had an extremely profound awakening during Ayahuasca and 5-MEO DMT ceremonies. I came to the conclusion that I am God and that this is a mental world that I created, to experience things in a “human” way, playing the game without cheat codes so-to-speak. It’s a lot deeper than that but I won’t bore you with the details, Leo’s videos align pretty closely with my conclusions. Anyways, ever since the experience, I’ve had this intense calling to go somewhere isolated from everyone, everything, technology, radio waves, etc.. basically be as far from any external physical influences as possible. This came during my experience in Iquitos as well. It felt like during my 5-MEO experience that I had the “opportunity” to see whatever I wanted to see, but it was like in this state I told my consciousness “you’ve seen this already, you made yourself human for a reason, explore that more before coming back to being God”. So ever since then, I’ve had this intense desire to push the boundaries of my human potential. I have a successful investment company, so my idea was to gain more monetary resources and pool funds into researching biotechnology and any other field that could make developments in this space, but something about it doesn’t feel right. I feel the deep human limitations plaguing me every day; the sadness of missing an ex girlfriend, the random depression, anxiety that I know is only in my human body but doesn’t make it any better to experience.. it makes me feel like I’m going about it the wrong way. So all that being said, my idea was to go out into the middle of either a desert or a forest, and isolate myself. I’ve thought about also taking psychedelics while out there, but I feel like I need to take some time extreme measures to unlock these answers that I’m seeking. I have 2 questions for you guys: 1. what do you think about the plan 2. Where would you do something like this?

Don’t you think that there’s real practical differences between what we can and can’t do with our human representations of experience? An extreme example would be that it would be impossible to focus on introspection and spiritual work if a group of cannibals were chasing me and trying to eat me. A less extreme example would be, if I was in a busy inner city and had crackheads trying to beg me for money every five minutes, it would be hard to focus on spiritual work and introspection. I really think we have to communicate about these things in layers. There’s full god realization where we recognize that we are having a human experience by choice, then there’s the state that we’re in a lot of times, which is the practical human experience, knowing in the back of our minds that we are God, but trying to “learn the rules of the game” per se. I think a lot of people on this forum mistake people for disregarding God Consciousness, but there’s a distinct difference between recognizing concepts, and using them practically on a daily basis.

Thanks for the recommendation. Have you found that being on “the grid” or “off the grid” mattered when it comes to deep introspection? I am communicating on the layer of my human experience right now, as opposed to a god-realized experience. I know that radio waves, other peoples minds, material reality, is all imaginary, but in a practical sense, it exists for me during my human experience, and there are certain constraints, even if self-imposed, that keep me from accessing certain higher levels of consciousness during this human experience. So do you think that things like being “on the grid” or within a certain mileage of other people have affected your introspection? I have already been out to the Amazon, and had an insanely profound experience, even with other people there. I’d like to have a similar kind of experience, but remove things like; 1. the need to act a certain way because other people are around 2. desire for women (because of course, there was a pretty girl at my retreat and I couldn’t get my egoic mind to stop being distracted by her) 3. desire to talk to others. I think I can reach the next level if I remove these factors, and go as far down the god-realized rabbit hole as possible with no subconscious fear of being judged by others. I am also debating between doing this sober or bringing some 5-MEO DMT. Any advice is well appreciated, even though you’re me ?

I know I wrote a wall of text so it might be hard to pick it ou,, but I am totally on board that none of this is actually objectively happening. All I have to work with is the linear storyline of my human experience thusfar, but these insights, which I can experience in the form of memories have shown me a glimpse of what you're talking about. When I first entered into what I can label as "God-Realization" during the Ayahuasca retreat I was talking about, I remember that I felt this objective feeling that I was god, and I could go into a world of infinite love, a world of fractal patterns, whatever the hell I wanted, but I felt this love for my human form and desire to see how far I could take my human experience. At first there was a fear of the unknown of a non-physical experience, but then there was just this deep feeling like I had already felt it before, and that's the reason I was HAVING a human experience, because I got tired of that one. I guess where I am at now though, is trying to see if anyone else has experience with this, because what I have noticed is that every time I reach an extremely high level of consciousness, it always comes back down. I still remember what I experienced, but it becomes very watered down, and whatever "forces" are at work try to make me re-frame everything in a more grounded way. I like to think they're my own personal fail-safes like I mentioned before. I have infinite power but if I experience too many things that really reinforce that, then I am going to start on the down-hill slope of a permanent God-Realization which, I think if you reach a certain threshold, you can't come back from. I think we'd essentially have to re-trick ourselves, re-write the program again, completely new, and do it all over again. I don't know though, my mind is completely open though. I generally try to go with my intuition because that's the closest thing to objective reality for me. By the way, I believe what you're saying about everything just being ideas, a conscious construct. I am just trying to have the best possible experience during my little conscious construct as myself. I think my attention right now definitley isn't to get to True Enlightenment just yet, I feel like I had my chance for that and I kindly said no, and that I'd rather learn to dominate this reality as my human self, in this story that I am living in. If I am really God, I can always experience myself as God if I wanted to, but right now I think I can definitley learn to use this Human Form a lot better, and that's the type of "enlightening" that I am trying to do.

Hey Guys, This is my first post on here but I will give you guys a little background on myself. I have been feeling a profound feeling of connection with the universe since I was about 16. I started noticing distinct feelings of change in my energy, which would directly change the reality around me, synchronicities etc.. I never completely devoted my life to the pursuit of these answers but it would always be at the forefront of my mind. I was in the military for a while which kept me pretty limited as far as pursuit of this knowledge and dabbling with different ideas that I had about them, but it taught me a lot of lessons in other fields. I got out of the military in February of 2020 and currently own a Real Estate Investment business to sustain my human needs for money and resources, but I have always wanted to reach my full universal potential, and I never thought that materialism or anything similar was the way I would do that (maybe the pooling of money and resources could help me REACH that potential through leverage, but not be the potential itself). Anyways, I'd like to briefly touch on two major "awakenings" as they call them that I have had since February of 2020. I just watched Leo's video on God Realization and after my second experience, I have no doubt in my mind that I am God, and my lack of Omnipotence and Omnipresence are simply me removing the power from myself. I will go into more detail on the actual experiences I have had that led me to believe this. So let's start with the first story. My Ex-Girlfriend and I had just started dating. She was my first love and the first two months of being with her were BY FAR the most blissful two months of my life. Like I had mentioned before, I had always noticed that when my energy shifted (what people might call a "higher vibration"), that I noticed a LOT more synchronicities, signs etc.. So when my Ex and I first started dating, these were actually ridiculously profound. I would be walking passed people at the grocery store and they would finish my sentence for me with their passing conversation, I would be having an internal dialogue and some funny scenario that I was thinking of would happen right in front of me. Things like this would constantly happen. I started to feel in tune with the universe and at the time, it felt like I had truly connected with the Divine Feminine, and there was even a point where her and I were having sex where I thought "if I finish, the universe is literally going to implode and reset" because I thought it was the most bliss that could ever be created and that it would be the "grand finale of the play" per se. Anyways, we had been dating for about 2 months and I had just gotten officially out of the Army. I am with the love of my life, I am finally out of the military, I have money, and I am ready to start my business. I am feeling the highest energy I had ever felt in my life. I start to feel like song lyrics are all speaking to me, and I get this intense urge to go to New York City. It's Valentine's Day and my Ex and I are spending the day together, we have a good time but the synchronicities are getting so intense at this point that I must be sounding like a crazy person to anyone not understanding what's happening. If I had to explain it, I would say that it felt like everyone was part of a giant hive mind and they were all apart of this story that I was creating. Anyways, I am just going with the flow at this point and we have Valentine's Dinner, and decide to invite my friend along because his wife is overseas. This is where I get the bright idea to ask all 3 of them if they want to drive to New York in the middle of the night. They, for whatever reason, agree. We meet up about an hour later to drive to New York. Pay attention to these details, because they will become important later for the point I am trying to make. As we're driving, there's this feeling in the air that my friend is "in on it", that being all of the synchronicities and universal connections, and that my Ex wasn't. This part of the story I have a hard time remembering because it was so long ago but it was as if my friend was guiding me through this spiritual journey, but the thing is, it was really like a Hive-Mind scenario because he would shift from not understanding anything, to speaking as if he had complete awareness of all of the concepts I would bring up. My Ex just seemed to be completely oblivious to everything but her innocence was so cute to me and I wanted to help her grow so she could be "enlightened" along side of me. Anyways, something I will mention briefly, is that she kept jokingly talking about police and calling them "coppers" and I would overhear her saying they're going to give us a problem on the way back. Well a lot of stuff happened in between this, but to save some time, on our way back from New York, we get pulled over. There's a TON more to this story if anyone wants to private message me about it, it's just too much to put here. So anyways, after I get pulled over, I was actually put into a mental hospital, because of the things I was saying, but I was really just having a spiritual experience, I am convinced of this. I had lived 22 years up to this point without experiencing anything remotely close to mental illness, and have lived almost 2 years since without anything happening (until this next story). The next story is about 2 months after my Ex and I broke up, which was exactly a month ago from when I am writing this post. I decided to book an Ayahuasca retreat at Arkana Spiritual Center in the Amazon of Peru. There's probably a lot that I will leave out of this story but bear with me. As soon as I get to the hotel for the Introductory Meeting, all of the people I meet seem so familiar. It's like I have known them forever. I start to notice all of these synchronicities just like what happened before. This is before any of us have even touched Ayahuasca. So we get to the retreat and it starts to get more and more intense, this feeling of connectedness with the universe. Finally, I take my first and only cup of Ayahuasca that I drank the entire week. During this ceremony I came to the solid conclusion that everything is one, and that this physical reality we live in isn't everything. I didn't exactly know immediately what this knowledge meant, but I decided to let it marinate, so I didn't drink ANY more Ayahuasca for the rest of the retreat. I started to dabble with the idea that my conscious mind is so much more powerful than I had originally thought. I would manifest things happening to me in almost real-time, within a certain level of realism. I noticed that things I would try to manifest, like a fireball in my hand, or something of that nature, was impossible to me because I still had self-doubt of the possibility of it. However, if I created a scenario that was plausible, like dinner getting done right when I started to think about it, that it was possible, and it WAS manifesting a good majority of the time. So I start to play with this concept and achieve very intense results. I even tested my consciousness when we did the Sapo ceremony (5-MEO DMT). I had set the intention after the first ceremony that I have come to terms with being an infinite consciousness and all of that, but for now, I would like to test what I am capable of in my human manifestation. I decided that I would put things to the test by trying to smoke the 5-MEO DMT without falling backwards and seeing patterns and all of that. When I went into the ceremony I had this intense confidence that I would be able to smoke it and just stay the same, because I felt like I had willed the fact that I am as far enlightened as I want to be at the time. Well of course, I smoke the DMT, and I had been doing a lot of breathwork throughout the week so I was able to get a REALLY GOOD inhale, I hold it in for as long as I can, I breath out and look at the facilitator and tell him "I can control this", granted I had some slight dizziness, but I stood up immediately and walked out of the room, and what substituted any "DMT Effects" as I had previously heard about them, was what I can only explain as complete God-Realization. I had no visuals, I was able to stand completely normally and walk around, as a matter of fact it felt like all of the noise dropped and I was able to finally talk to my true godly self. I look around and KNOW, not think, but really KNOW that I created all of this. It didn't feel like I was an extension of god, as I had envisioned it when thinking about everyone being "One". No, I KNEW that I was God, like God with a capital G. It's funny because after watching Leo's video about God-Realization, this completely encapsulates what I thought at the time. I said to myself "Yeah, I get it, I'm God, but I kinda like being human right now, and being the only one is kinda lonely and scary, so I'd rather work on becoming really powerful as a human, so let's go back down for now". Of course, I ground myself after a few minutes, get some lunch, and damn if that wasn't the tastiest lunch I'd had in a minute. I am feeling so good at this point and feel like I have my purpose figured out. I decide that I am going to paint this picture for my human life and go for it, because it's my story, why wouldn't it work out? I decided I was going to find my soul mate (at this point in time I was convinced I would awaken my ex girlfriend and get back with her) and we were going to push our human limits together. I wanted to learn how to maximize my consciousness, discover new abilities that I might be able to unlock, etc.. Basically I had this fantasy of my Ex and I just conquering the Universe together (like the actual universe, interplanetary type shit). I still think this is all possible by the way, I just think my self-imposed limits are currently stopping me from being able to right now. The retreat ends and here's the weirdest thing that happens that, I think proves a point that I'd like to talk about at the end. When we get back from the retreat, the people at the hotel tell me I had "Cocaine and Hookers in my room", and for that reason I could not stay, this was obviously not true by the way, but you'll just have to take my word for that. After that, some of the facilitators take me to a room in a different hotel, and they ask me about the cocaine and hookers, and then they accuse me of buying drugs from this tour guide who was showing me around Iquitos before I got to the retreat. It all seemed to be trying to paint this picture that I was doing something bad and that I wasn't in my right mind. Well, I hadn't done any substances for 4 days at this point! I smoked Sapo on Wednesday and we left the retreat on a Saturday. I was completely in my right mind but everyone around me was acting super weird. Those 2 accusations were the first weird thing that happened, then it seemed like everyone at any hotel, store, restaurant etc.. was behaving like what you'd picture a broke robot to behave like. For example, we would talk to them and they would just seem so confused and would communicate in such a peculiar way. I start to get this paranoia, but rightly so at this point, people have accused me of things I didn't do, and people are acting very strange. Skip to a couple days later, I get to the airport and things are WACKED OUT at this point. It feels like time is non-existent, it feels like everyone around me is a bot trying to keep me from getting back home, and there were things happening that supported that. These airport employees were just staring off into space for MINUTES AT A TIME until I looked them dead in the eyes and willed them to respond to me. People were just standing around the airport looking more confused than I've ever seen a person look. I got to the place to turn in my boarding pass and the lady just started scribbling on my paper and gave it back to me. Nothing made sense. The times on the clocks kept changing from 1730 to 1530 to 1230, it was like I was in this timeless zone that didn't make sense anymore. I honestly felt like I broke reality. Anyways, as I get on the plane and start to feel this intense pain in my body, and I have never been a christian but I felt the need to scream to god and ask him for help, it was this image I had of a christian god and "the light" and it felt like I was dying right there on the airplane and the only thing that could save me was telling everyone to come to the light on the airplane. So obviously I get kicked off of this airplane, and at some point one of the facilitators that was with me slipped a Xanax in my drink and that was the start of my Descent from this insanely high level of consciousness (obviously too high for me to handle at the time). Taking this back to the God-Realization though. I genuinely think that as God, I have a fail-safe for when I start to learn too much too fast, and that's what has happened in both of those scenarios. Now there's self-doubt about my true power. Am I crazy and that was all a "psychotic break" or am I God and I briefly got a glimpse of some of my power? I guess the story will tell. All I know is that I remember too much of it for any of it to be a coincedence. None of what I am saying was a hallucination. These were real people that I knew from the retreat. I am not sure about hallucinations but I don't think you can hallucinate a real persons lips to move and speak to you in a way that they did. I never heard voices, never saw things that weren't there. This is all reality around me that I interpreted in a certain way. I guess my question here is, has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this? Has anyone figured out how to stay up and not get taken back down by the "fail-safes"? Anyone have a take on what happened to me? I know if the God-Realization concept is true, which I think it is, I am just talking to myself, but it's part of the fun to interact with "other people" to gain ideas haha. Anyways, hope everyone has a good night!