Something Funny

Is there a specific meditation practice that you caan do regularly to develop self-love?

Yeah, I agree. But you have to understand that there are different people who are at different levels of development in life. Sure, there are men who only care about looks just like there are women who only care about your height or bank account, or sexual charisma. But that doesn't mean that everyone is like that. Also, the kind of relationship you have with a man matters. If he is only interested in you for casual sex (like I assume is the case for the guy who started this thread), it makes sense that he isn't going to care for anything but your looks that much. The truth is that not all people care or pay attention to their partner's level of consciousness or personal development. This is true both for men and women. You need to be quite developed yourself already to care about those things in a partner. So if you don't want a man to only care about your looks and nothing else, you need to choose the right man and that means that you yourself need to care about something more than just raw attraction towards your partner.

@at_anchor just develop yourself day after day. Leo likes saying that you should have a plan for the next 20 years. But if you asked a 20 year old to predict how his like would look like at 35, he would have no clue. Heck even when he started actualized.org he probably had no idea that he would end up where he is now. And that's how it should be, because when you are doing hardcore personal development you basically become a different person in the process so your thinking, vision, and goals change.

@The Mystical Man haha, well maybe in a few years then

@The Mystical Man in english?

@The Mystical Man but why? Is there anything specific you suggest paying attention to if I decide to reread it?

@The Mystical Man what did you like so much about the harry potter? I read it as a kid, but don't remember much at this point.

@Thought Art thank you

@The Mystical Man wow, thanks a lot for sharing ))

@The Mystical Man I like your taste in general I think. Can you recommend me a a bunch of high quality, conscious movies and books (fiction books) to watch / read. It doesn't have to be the same genre as the whale, but something on the same level of artistry or above.

@Thought Art How to start really loving yourself

@Thought Art yeah, but how?

Thanks for recommending it. I've just watched it and it was the best movie I've ever seen.

@mr_engineer no, but I am not going to engage in this dumb conversation.

@Ulax just a little rant.

@Judy2, @Lila9 if this makes you feel any better, those types of conversations are kind of silly in my opinion, because there is no universal standard for what a "10" is and perception of beauty is different for different people. It has become really obvious to me recently because I started doing cold approaching with a few other guys and have noticed that our tastes are quite different. Just yesterday one of them was showing a picture of a girl to me, saying how frustrated he is that she flaked on him because she is one of the hottest women he has ever seen. While I was thinking to myself "ehh, she looks fine, I guess". Similarly, he would often not even look at girls who I found really cute and attractive, etc.

@Ulax also, I can emphasize with girls here who complain about always having to read stuff like "you need to be a 10 to have value". It does mess with your head whether you want it or not.

@Ulax but that's not why I made the comment. It's just that I have noticed that anytime I enter a dating section here it's more likely that I will get some negative belief or ideology forced into my mind instead of getting some positive information / motivation / encouragement. It is seriously affecting me in a bad way. And even if you block users who post this kinds of stuff, you can still see the titles like "women treat men the way they treat jobs". What an empowering message to read before going to sleep while trying to improve your dating life, lol.

@Mask Seller I actually changed the way I think about this situation in general. Before I believed that I can't have a relationship because I am too busy with other aspects of my life, but now I think that it was just insecurity in me speaking. Nothing really is stopping me from trying to get into a relationship, even if I am super busy. And if the girl decides to break up with me because I don't invest too much time into her, well, that's on her. The same with thinking that I won't able to develop my dating skills if I get into a relationship. Getting a gf will be hard af for me as os, and I will have to go through a lot to get there. So I will develop plenty. And if I am not good enough, the girl will just break up with me and I will keep going. So now my goal is to actually get a gf through this process and then see where it goes.

It might sound weird but I just don't feel any actual desire to sleep with a girl when I approach her. I finally got serious about learning game and even found myself a few wingmen. And what I've noticed is that they are really into it. They approach girls because they actually want to sleep with them. They discuss girls in between approaches, they comment on how hot this or that girls is, etc. For me, I am just doing it for personal development, not for getting sex. I want to become more confident, more social, a better man in general. The idea of fucking some random girl doesn't excite me, even if she is really hot. I would like to have a gf, but this is not really feasible right now because of the following reasons: 1. I have more important stuff I want to handle first, like my career. 2. If I get a girlfriend I won't be able to do pickup, and that's what I am primarily interested in right now. And so because I know that it won't lead anywhere serious in the end I am not trying that hard. I do an approach and that's it, I feel like I already won because I got over my anxiety. And then I just half ass the rest of it. There is no motivation for me to push it because I am not really interested in the end result. Plus it feels fake. Like I approach a girl, and pretend that I am interested and want to date her, but I am actually not. Deep down I know that I am faking it and that I just approached her for the sake of approaching her. And I guess they can feel this undecisivenes as well.

What is the point of those whiney threads??? Seriously, as things are right now it's probably better for my personal development and mental health to watch cat videos on youtube then to scroll through the dating section on this forum, considering all the negative ideology and limiting beliefs that you will pick up here automatically, just by reading this stuff...

@Judy2 I see. I asked because I just had probably the best trip of my life. I started it feeling depressed and frustrated with myself and my life. But then managed to work through all those emotions and find answers to a few issues that were bothering me in life. And ended the trip in a very peaceful and fulfilled state. So I wanted to share and was wandering if that's something that might help you as well. But of course, you need to follow your own judgement and decide whether this is something you need right now or not.

@Judy2 have you ever tried mushrooms? Or some other psychedelics?

@Leo Gura thank you, Leo

You can do it. Of course you can. All those challenges will only make you stronger in the end. I think that you are a really lovely person and I think that you were created like that for a higher purpose. Not just to be buried down under the weight of some random problems. So you will make it.