Something Funny

I am glad that you are okay now. This is some good morning news.

Yeah, no shit, I probably have some of those But what does it matter anyway. What I need to do stays the same: do personal development, do spiritual work, meditate, and try again and again Yeah, that too

@Leo Gura okay, I get it. Also, thank you a lot Leo. I am really grateful for you spending your time babysitting all of us. I am crying in a positive way right now

It's like I've "decided" so many times already and failed that I am kind of losing faith in myself. But yeah, I understand that there's no other way. But what should I do then if I already work full time? Even 16 hours doesn't sound that much if we are talking about per week. You yourself said that you need to work extra hard for a certain period to feto out of a wage slavery? Edit: Regarding trying one thing at a time. How do I know when I can move on to another thing? Should I wait 30 days, 90 days (assuming I can stick to my commitment for this period).

@Eternal Unity thank you

@KH2 amen @Tyler Robinson please stay strong, you can get through this.

I've just watched the movie "Green Mile" for the first time, and I am not going to lie, I got really inspired by it, and especially by John Coffey of course. So my question is, how do you become more selfless. And I don't mean just feeling selfless, I mean acting more selflessly in the world. Or what actions do you need to take to become a more selfless person. For example, I've started learning web development this year. But I do it mainly for selfish reasons. I want to earn more money, I want to have more freedom, independence, ability to build the kind of life I want to build. But is this the best way for me to serve in this world? Am I just being lazy and cowardly and am taking a lame, uncreative, passive path forward in life? Sure I could say that I am in the phase of developing myself, and need to focus on that first, and I can be selfless and contribute to the world afterwards. But is it actually true or am I just bullshitting myself? You could also say that I can just go and become a volunteer somewhere. But once again, is this the best way for me to serve the world? Doing some manual grunt work?

@RedLine yeah, that's not really an option

Thank you. I think this is a really good point which I haven't considered at all.

@Leo Gura @Greatnestwithin it's crazy how our minds can basically ruin our life instead of helping it. And what's even scarier is that you won't even be aware that something is wrong with you and will try to find solutions elsewhere / blame someone else, unless you are already relatively conscious.

You are right, for me it's probably a mix of both guilt and love right now. This is a bit off topic but this idea have been bugging me for a while now. It's probably different in the US, but in Poland costs of living are not that big. So you technically could invest a few thousand dollars and possibly change someone's life completely. Rent them a room. Help them to get their shit together. Maybe hire a therapist. Help them to find a basic minimum wage job. And possibly, you will totally transform their life over a course of a few months. How many of them would waste such an opportunity away? Sure you would have to screen out some extreme cases like drug addicts and criminals. But in general it sounds pretty doable. You could even turn this into a full fledged charity and then it would be even cheaper with economies of scale. Also, I've checked and there are only about 900-1000 homeless people in my city of about 700000, which is actually not that many. Literally, one millionaire could finance the whole thing and you would have a whole city without homelessness. Isn't that crazy? I see, thank you.

Thank you for your comments guys. They are really helpful. Yeah, but I don't think it's exactly my passion. It's just that it logically seems like the best option since I don't have any better ideas right now. How do you learn to love suffering? Flow not push. Sounds easier said than done, but I get what you are talking about. How do you live in a flow? Are there any actions that help you get on track with it. Like let's say you wake up and want to live that day in a flow, what do you do? Thank you that's great life advise.

@Tyler Robinson did they admit you there against your will. Are you now required to stay there or can you leave if you want?

@Leo Gura I know the example I gave might sound corny but I brought it up because I've literally passed by an old grandma like that a few days ago. She looked really bad was walking by pulling her legs, in half put on sneakers, behind her. While holding a cup in front of her. And I didn't give her even a coin or something. Just lowered my eyes down and passed by like everyone else. And gave myself a bunch of excuses like: "I need money for myself right now since I need to invest them into my own development" or "Now is not the right time" and such. And sure, on one hand giving half of my salary away is foolish and you can't help everyone in the world anyway. But then, doing it at least once wouldn't kill me. Or maybe not even half. A third, or a fourth is still nice. But I can't do even that. Because selfishness kicks in and excuses come up. Also, where do you draw a line and decide whether you are doing enough or not? And, this is just an example. It's not like this is an isolated case where I am especially selfish or something. I can be selfish and petty in all areas of my life. You mean not putting enough effort into a spiritual practice and running around doing stuff in the world instead?

You are actually a good person I think ♥️

i actually planned to start this journal with one amazing album but I've just watched the "Green Mile", and remembered this song, and just couldn't not post it here. Самый счастливый человек на земле В нищете, и в тоске, и в любой большой беде Сыщутся те, кто на волоске: кому ещё хуже, чем тебе И когда твоя жизнь превращается в ад и меркнет солнца свет, Знай, что нет никого счастливей тебя на лучшей из планет! Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова, Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя! Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё! Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё! Ну вот например: Вспомни Джона Коффи из "Зелёной мили" Вспомнил? Да-да, его там поджарили Так вот, когда тебе плохо, думай об этом фильме (Ага!) В отличие от тебя, мудак, Джона реально жаль нам Всё время ноешь (Как баба!), что-то не получается, А ты вот смог бы вылечить (А?) Тому Хэнксу яйца? А Джон Коффи смог (Красава!), но всем было пофиг (Ага!), И это не спасло (Увы) Джона Коффи! Справедливости нету, бро, се ля ви! Подотри сопли, давай без обид В этом мире сильных и так не осталось, Давай как-нибудь сам, не трать силы на жалость, Не трать силы на жалость! Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова, Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя! Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё! Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё! Так вот, когда тебе плохо, всегда есть те, кому хуже: У них проблемы с регистрацией, наркотиками, оружием А ты вот сидишь дома и плачешь, что никому не нужен (Как баба!) Выйди, сука, на улицу и посмотри, что там снаружи! (А там:) Шестилетнему Паше не продают портвейн (Правда?), Он сидит в подвале и нюхает клей (Наркоман!) До его проблем мамаше дела нет, Потому что ей (Шлюха! А-а-а!) шестнадцать лет Посмотри на себя и других со стороны, Сколько раз слово "Я" в сутки произносим мы? Задыхаясь от крохотных неудач и смешных проблем, Помни, что никого счастливей тебя нет на всей Земле Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова, Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя! Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё! Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё! Пока есть руки-ноги и на плечах голова, Пока ты на что-то годен, кончай жалеть себя! Ты молод и свободен, а значит у тебя есть всё! Пока ты на что-то годен, жалей кого-нибудь ещё! Кого-нибудь ещё Кого-нибудь ещё Кого-нибудь ещё Comments I often whine about really small, silly problems and pity myself over nothing. I am too self centered in general: me, me, me, me... This song is a nice reminder to stop worrying about your own little petty issues and focuse on what matters. "As long as you have arms and legs, and a head on you shoulders, While you're still good for something, stop feeling sorry for yourself! You are young and free, which means you have everything that you need! While you're good for something, pity someone else!"

@Leo Gura I am worried that if I just meditate, do psychedelics, etc. I might feel selfless and even experience some awakenings and such. But then when I actually go outside and pass a begging old woman on the street I will still feel too stingy to give her half of my montly salary for example. How much is selflessness like this really worth?

@Leo Gura but what about taking action in the world?