Something Funny

@Chives99 it's not a kink. It's not something that I enjoy or would like to have in my life.

@Leo Gura I know, I am doing this, it just takes time.

@bazera yeah, basically brute force. Plus I had a friend as an accountability partner. I fell back because this is the wrong approach. The thing I plan to do now is building a healthy, conscious relationship with my sexuality and masturbation without porn.

@Leo Gura it's hard to find a good therapist in general, let alone someone to whom I would be able to open up about all of that. Personally, think I am attracted to it because it's so wrong. Because it goes against all of my values. Because it triggers my fears and insecurities. Yeah, no shit, haha. But to be honest, I think I am done with it for good this time and am not coming back. Lets hope this will be the case.

@bazera too many to count. I did 30 days at some point.

@Leo Gura XD, thank you Leo ?

@Leo Gura well, that's the issue, I can't. Whenever I get back to watching porn I tell myself that I am going to watch just quality porn. And there is porn like that, even for free on pornhub. But it's always a downward spiral from there to me getting into a really bad place mentally and ending up watching humiliating jois, or cheating porn, or cuckold porn, or some other shit like that, and feeling awful and wanting to "just die already" in the meantime. Every single time it ends like this, with me laying in bed and crying thinking what the fuck is wrong with me. So I've came to the conclusion that it's better for me to just quit it altogether.

@Someone here I don't want anything. I didn't ask for advise here. As I said, thank you for concern, I know you really want to help, but I am fine. What is that even supposed to mean? Stop assuming stuff about me.

I didn't ask for anything and don't worry, I've got it. But thanks for your concern.

Thanks, but I refuse to adopt the mindset of "I need another person to live a healthy and happy life". This is such a defeatist attitude. I am going to cur porn out of my life while single. And I didn't says that I will stop masturbating forever. I am just going to work on building amore healthy relationship with it. I will get a girlfriend when it's time for me to get a girlfriend.

I don't know if it's biological or pshychological, or if it's just a placebo effect, but after I don't watch porn and as a result, don't masturbate for a few days I feel noticably more clearminded, positive, eager to work on my life, etc. The same can be said about something like affirmations, it doesn't mean that they are useless. Maybe if I could separate porn and masturbation completely I would notice the same effects, idk. The issue for me is that in 90% of cases one thing leads to another. Depends on what kind of porn you are watching. As I've mentioned in my original post the kinds of porn I watch have gradually changed over years from the most innocent, vanilla stuff in the beginning to much more extreme things. I am especially bothered when I watch all kind of degrading and humiliating porn. It's really addictive and stimulating because it plays on my insecurities, and I feel like it really messes my mind up. I feel awful mentally after watching it and in my "sober" state am completely turned of by it. I've even tried watching some more "conscious" kind of porn videos, but it's never enough and aways escalates back. So I think that for me the best solution it to cut it out of my life completely. @Leo Gura okay, sorry, I agree that I've overreacted a bit.

@Michael Jackson I am not here to make statements about other people like that. He sounds like a nice person. Like I said if Leo or someone else says that they are watching porn and it's totally fine with it, then fine. You do you, I don't care. But it's not nice to make fun of other people who are struggling with this issue for real, just because you haven't experienced it yourself. @Osaid I agree, some of the nofap guys are really ideological about it. But as you can see above, even when I make a post sharing my personal struggles, I get the "you are just bullshitting yourself" advise. I imagine that if I've made a post about how I am struggling with alcohol and don't seem to be able to have a healthy relationship with it, I wouldn't get this type of response. Or heck, even coffee. If I made a post saying how I am addictted to caffeine and how it messes up my health, I still wouldn't get the "you are just bulshitting yourself, take some responsibility bro" advise.

@NoSelfSelf I wonder if you would say the same if this was a post about alcohol, because technically it applies to it as well. And look how you have completely ignored my main arguments and focused on masturbation instead, even though I've made it clear that I think a complete abstinence is not a healthy solution for most people. It's also funny how you are saying that I should be taking responsiblity isntead of whining about it and yet this is exactly what I am doing, I am taking responsibility and try to find a solution that works for me, and you are criticizing me for it...

@Osaid sorry, what were you saying?

@NoSelfSelf well yeah. But that's not what I am talking about. I made this post because the very fact that someone can have an issue with porn and masturbation is often being ridiculed on this forum. "You quit porn because you think it was ruining your life? Lol, you are just bulshitting yourself. Why don't you also join nowater.com, haha"

Would you recommend adding it to your food or taking some kind of garlic supplement then?

@Michael569 do you know if it will keep its properties after you fry it a bit? Or do you need to eat it raw?

@BlessedLion cool, I was wondering what's the best way to handle situations like this.

Go wash your dishes

Also, modern stage orange culture of instant gratification and cheapening of sex is so lame to be honest. I would like to live my life in a more idealistic and romantic way.

For example right now. Just focus on working out regularly, eating according to the diet plan and limiting crap like reddit, and porn. Don't worry about programming, don't worry about social skills, don't worry about language, don't worry about toastmasters, don't worry about dating, don't worry about starting a blog or a social media account, don't worry about doing parkour, don't worry about travelling. FOCUS ON ONE THING! Vik, you are always afraid that you are too late, that you need to urgently make up for the wasted time, but it only causes you to waste more time, can't you see that?! You are still relatively young, you still have time, you can afford do things step by step and gradually transform your life into something amazing. You are not missing out, you have plenty of time, everything is fine! Add one building block at a time and you will actually progress faster than ever!

I need patience. I need to stop rushing things. Patience is key. Shortcuts make long delays

@BlessedLion so did you just decide to leave the place once you saw them?

How is this different from you going to a doctor, saying that you feel like crap after eating ordinary food and doctor telling you that you are just bullshitting yourself?