Something Funny

Idk what you are talking about.

You are being so close minded. And it's upsetting how you don't even respect people having other worldviews. Not sure what a teenie bobber is but I would rather be with them if they are nice to others, at least.

No Kind of, yes. No Yes, and I think it's a fair issue to have. What's wrong with expecting your partner to be able to relate to you and meet you halfway?

@Princess Arabia I think I've finally realised what actually bothers me about that attitude. I can kind of respect this position, because yeah, at least you are being honest about it. And all that stuff about strong and independent women is nice but you can't judge a person's whole character on just this one thing. And that's not relly even what bothers me. I understand now that I would just be really hurt by my potential girlfriend's inability to see things from my perspective and emphasize with my position enough to be at least open to paying for herself. Like, I would honestly be upset about it to a point where I wouldn't want to be with her because it just feels so unloving and unappreciative to me. This is what would make it a dealbreaker for me.

I didn't say that it's a bad thing. I just said that you have no idea how it feels for the male perspective and that you wouldn't be able to hold the same opinion about it if you were put in an average man's position.

You just can't not be mean to people, huh?

I honestly don't see any logic behind this. Like why? What makes you say that? This is honestly such a privileged position. Only a person who has never had to go through a labour of asking someone out can hold. In practice, it has everything to do with that. Girls who make it a principle to always pay for themselves are usually the more strong willed and independent ones. There is just something inherently submissive about expecting another person to pay for you. I once went on a date with a power lifter girl (I approached her), guess what - she paid for both of us, lol.

I get your point, It's just that it sounds a bit hypocritical since you have admitted yourself that you never ask anyone out. It's easy to hold that position when you are not actually being put in it. I wonder how you would feel about either being expected to pay for everything or being considered cheap if the only way you could ever get a partner would be by asking them first. I bet you wouldn't be so black and white then.

I guess girls not willing to pay for themselves is also a good filter. Since I don't want to be with a person like that anyway. I want to have a strong and independent partner who respects me and herself.

Okay, maybe not the best example. But your party example is also bad. Why make appeals to culture or majority opinion if we are trying to use reason?

this is going too far

Like really, as if he is not also giving her his time. If she thought that their time is of equal value, then they would cancel each other out. Instead, she feel like her time is more valuable so she wants to be paid for on top of him putting all his time and effort in.

Asking a person out IS THE HARD PART. You should be the one showing appreciation for being approached. You are feeling entitled, to be approached, asked out, taken out on a pre-planned adventure, and also be paid for, lol. But somehow, in your mind the guy is the one who is entitled. This is expected of both parties. And so should be paying your half. It's a shared experience that both people are benefiting from and they should mutually contribute to it. It's not about being cheap, it's about being fair. But I guess if all you see are dollar signs than yeah, very cheap.

@Princess Arabia you are acting like he is a sex worker asking you to pay for your time with him. when in fact he is just asking you to contribute to the date fairly, 50/50

Or maybe bitter, idk

Lol, this honestly sounds so arrogant. I don't see why it should be different? Also, I don't think you are considering this, but you basically filtering out all the guys who are actually genuine and authentic enough to actually have a position on this. Leaving yourself with the kind of guys you see in this thread "I will do whatever if it means I will get into her pants". But maybe that's who you are looking for, idk. Personally, I think that if a man is willing to give up sex and dating opportunities for the sake of his beliefs, that says a lot.

Being in nature has a positive psychological effect on people. And being barefoot can stimulate the nerves in your feet, and in general give you a lot of cool sensations, which might once again have positive psychological effect on you. What makes you think that it has anything to do with electric charges?

I think this is a very important part.

Not so fast! Before you go, check out this 4 minute habit tracker video. And if you get interested, the whole concept of bullet journal in general. I think this is a much more positive mindset, because you stop looking at relapses as relapses, just a part of your journey to rewire your brain. And also imagine tracking it for like a year, and seeing yourself gradually improve, a few percent at a time.

@Thought Art do you stick to splitting as a matter of principle?

@Hojo first of all, this "asking to get taken advantage of" is a weak mindset. The worst thing that will happen is that you will pay for some random person's coffee, is it so horrible? You don't have to see them again if you didn't like their attitude. Secondly, I didn't say how you need to act. I didn't say that you always need to act in a way to please them. What "act accordingly" means depends on you and the situation. Maybe for you that means get up and leave.

@freddyteisen what exactly do you refer to when you say "grounding" and how do you think it works?

Once again, you are overcomplicating an already simple thing. There is no a simpler solution. Just see if the person is paying and act accordingly.

Cringe