Magnifico

Well fear of abondonment is definetly something I haven't consider so far (for me). But I think it is also in me in some way. At least would make sense because as you said it is one of our first dramatic incident in our life. Thank you very much @Farnaby

Hola Bellos, I am dealing with some dramatic childhood memory right now and discover that any of those lead to basic fears I still have today. I want to really understand what kind of fears I have and which basic fear there are in Life. So, What are basic fears of life? I know there is fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of failure but there are a lot more fears I struggle to put in words. Maybe I am also overanalysing this but I would love to have a overlook over this topic. Or is every fear rooted in the fear of death? Let me know your thoughts Love Tim

I like the stress quote very much with understemating yourself and overestimating the risk. The whole "I won't be able to handle it"-fear is something I've never heard of but makes good sense when I think about it. Thank you very much

Hey everybody, I just hate the idea of money, why can't I make music all day long and life like a free bird. I know complaining won't work and a victim mindset either. I am 19, finished high school recently with good grades. Applied to companies for dual study and failed with every company, kinda hurts because I take it too personally. Now I am working as a helper 9 to 5 for 5 months and going for 7 months to Central amerika with this money. But there is a time after my travel experience. I can't live with my parents my whole life. I want to follow what I'm passionate about and that is music. But I can't imagine livin a 9 to 5 life later to keep me livin' AND hustling for my passion. Because I hate that kind of working. I hate it right now and and will hate a "normal" job in the future, because I am not free. But I can't ignore money. I get so depressed because of this. Because one can't work with the other. Really my mind just says give a shit and be a homeless. Do you felt the same sometimes? How do you cope with this conflict? Tim :*

A wonderful good day community, All my friends aren't into Self-Improvement and I can't motivate them to, they act weird when I talk about life and mastering it and so on. Don't know. But we live in a world of globalisation and I would love to talk with people who also took the life long journey of self-Improvement. Seeking: Self improvement buddy or group This forum is wonderful for sharing ideas but also very complex and so on and I would love to talk with people about life, their philosophy, their missions, recommendations and just helping each other out with ideas and so on. I know the only person in my life who can make a change am I but a person or a group who also takes this journey to talk to would be just awesome. i don't know if a group like this exists already but when you're interested let me know Peace out and stay tuned, Tim

Hi guys, I know this topic does apply Self-Actualization in an indirect way, but it has something to do with psychology I guess. So lately I noticed some interesting with my social surrounding. Every friend of mine wants to have "the typical (mostly unsatisfied) life of an adult". I see friends who only talks about their work and always talks about that she must work in that shift and tomorrow in that shift and so on. She doesn't seem really satisfied with her job but loves to talk about the fact that she's working I see friends in a destructive relationship. Where they got push around or they have massive problems in communication, but they don't fix it nor break up because I see they like the fact that they are in a relationship like adults nowadays. I see friends always complaining about something und judging other people, like it is usual for many grown-ups to always complain about sth and be extremely judgemental These are just few examples. (Note: I'm 19 and live in a rural area, maybe it is different in big cities). But what I want to say is everybody seems kind of unhappy what they do, but the fact that they do these things like working or have a relationship keeps them continuing. So why does everybody wants to be an adult so fast, only to have these things & not to seek for real love in relationship, business and freetime-activitites ? I hope you get my question. It is important for me to know this, because I get in touch with them nearly every day and these kind of things are really influencing me, because I don't want to have a job just to have a job (although the image gives me a kind of satisfaction, like my friends) but I know it won't get me happy in long-term. I want to have a job where I am happy with what I'm doing I think it's a kind of inner child in us, who always wanted to be a grown-up, who does things children aren't allowed to do. I grew up with this dogma of have a job, a relationship, watch Tv in the evening and drink alcohol- "that's life" everybody said to me, but I know this needn't to be so unsatisfying . Or what do you think? With love, Tim

@Mal Haha love that one. It has a point

Hey Hey, So I recently started reading "Psycho Cybernetics" and got the idea of create a (positive) vivid image instead of an (negative) experience, so that your subconscious mind can work for you. My problem here is that I can't get that voice out telling me "that is not real, that is not you, you never experienced anything like that". And because it is right I can't really get a development, cause I can't believe in this technique, due to this "logical voice". Has anyone also thought about this dilemma and what experience do you have? With Love, Tim

I commit to myself that I want to meditate 10h in the next week. To remember why do I do this: To challenge myself/getting out of my comfort zone Improve my patience and experience all the other positive effects of meditation improve my commitment habits Observe a change I've only meditated 10 to 20 minutes per day since a few months. But I want to become better and get more fullfillment. I know the best would be to increase my meditation time step by step, but I love to experiment. so I go in the name of my own science into this project, just to obeserve myself and see how it works "Always say 'yes' to the present moment... Surrender to what is. Say 'yes' to life - and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you." - Eckhart Tolle

Day #5 Meditation Time: 90min I've meditated 3 times. and of these was a kind of hypnosis session. Yes not really Meditation but you also practice mindfulness. My head feels busy like after an 5h-exam but I don't know if this normal. What the heck I don't care 290min - 90min = 200min

Day #4 Meditation time: 80min I've meditated 3 times, this time without sleepiness but always stopped when i can't focus anymore properly. There isn't much change like suspected yet, expect that I remember myself through the everyday to be in the moment and I just be for 10sec to 1 min. It is relly releasing to experience these times of consciousness thrugh the daily grind 370min - 80min = 290 min

@examinationseeker Yes I know I appreciate your opinion. The effects are more long-term and by simply intense the activity it won't get that better, because consistency is the answer. But it's kind of a experiment to identify maybe little pieces of change in th everyday or maybe a little change in my thinking. Moreover I want challenge myself with this to really commit sth bigger for me than I am used to. But thanks though

Day #3 Meditation time: 100min I've meditated 4 times (20,20,40,20), those in the afternoon was very hard because of my sleepiness I got. It seems that when I'm awake and full of power I can achieve more than my regular10-20 min and I'm pretty proud of that, because that time really was peaceful and calming. Fuck yeah I hope I can manage more of those longer and more intense meditation sessions in the future. I believe it. 470min - 100min = 370 min

@Natura Sonoris Thanks for the suggestion. I will totally check it out man

Day #2 Meditation time: 80min I've meditated 3 times. First time in the morning linked with my morning routine (20min). then the next time in the afternoon (30min) but had problems with my sleepiness. and the last time in the evening (30min). The last time was the most present one. I really observed how your brain is so occupied with thoughts in the afternoon. Anyways my brain feels kind of "used" but that's pretty normal I guess. I will fucking made it 550min - 80min=470min

Day #1 Meditation time: 50 min The first day went good to meditate, except my position. Many body part hurts so I changed my positiopn a lot. In the end I sat on my bed, which was really comfortable. I think I continue with sitting when I meditate. I feel calm but nothing else, let's see how my experiment goes on. 600min - 50min =550min (Maybe I take it too far and too seriously with the time )

Hey hey, Lately I'm struggling with my life purpose and my future plans, because I don't know where I want to go with my 19 years. Through that process I constantly caught myself, to not being aware of my personal abilities. I've done a lot of "what-to-study?-tests" and some job interviews. But at the question what are my strengths and my weaknesses, I really stopped, because I didn't really know where I am good at and where I am bad at. Seems like I have aproblem to rate myself. So my question is how can I rate myself, so that I know where I am standing right with a certain topic? Which training I could use to learn myself better? Cheers Tim

A wonderful good evening, Today I came across something called IMPROVED READING. I found rarely informations about this technique, but it has lots of benefits like faster reading and a better information procession. So but how is it used properly and what are your experiences on this ? With love Tim

@Ray Hey Rey, Great idea with the PD-Partner. It's always good to have some people around you who help each other and doing a journey together. I am also interested in a PD-friend or a personal PD-Group, because in my inner circle everybody isn't really amazed by what I've told them about Self-Actualization and actually sometimes they get me into the same old negative patterns, so I would love to. My story: I am into PD since a year ago. I got into a little depression, because I always seeked after the attention from others and wanted their validation for me. I hated myself and had this one world view that I am this person and can't really change, that's my nature. One day I was whining about why people won't give me a positive reaction when I do sth for them on a forum called 9Chat (from 9gag). And then one woman, I love her for that, opened my eyes and said directly that I seek the love from others because I don't love myself and recommended me actualized.org in youtube. Since then I had changed but though have to learn soooo much But how I said in som improvement-area I still stuck because my friend-environment breeds my old self and so I welcome such an opportunity. They're cool persons and It's not their fault that I stuck sometimes It's because I don't want to handle this negativity they're expressing sometimes to affect me. I hope we can get shit done together @Ray Peace, Tim

Hey hey, I recently found out that I have this inner fear when I had this AHA-Moment that I forget it, because always when I remember myself on a special situation I think about that I could have apply this one principle I recently found out. It's like I'm happy about that I understand a certain principle, but that's all, It's like I forget it, when I could apply this new learned principle. This really annoys me, because always when I understand sth, then instantly the fear comes up that I could forget it. And how does it end? -> I forget it when I'd have needed it. I think it's a kind of inner game, where I manipulate myself, maybe based on a wrong self-image. But this constant thought about forgetting sth. really destroys my personal development. Because I only understand the principles, but don't apply it and so I found myself always in the same negative situations, i wanted to avoid with these principles I've "learned". (For example thinking about what others think of me, but then I create stories in my mind where I am cool in front of my friends and other people, but I know that this isn't getting me forward in any way because it is important what I think about me because it's my life and so on ..) I also was really forgetting as a child and many classmates have called me "grandpa alzheimer" and it kind of hurt me in this time ( Because I always forgot my homework for a couple of times). Could this maybe also be the root for this constant fear. I wasn't really tyrannised but maybe this also has some influence. Or is the reason of this that I don't really "learn" properly. Maybe I should focus on one principle, apply only this one for a certain time so that it is really fixed in my mind? What do you think about that? Have you ever experienced sth. like this and how did you cope with it? I am grateful for every answer. With love, Tim

But what in our human nature let us then believe that happiness come frome those "Strategies for happiness" (how you call it)? Is it because every human is taught that this excitement (which you get from these "other strategies for happiness") is happiness? That from the beginning ouf our birth we were subconsciously taught that a good marriage or a big house or sth like that makes us happy, but in fact happiness only comes from being aware in the presen(=just BEING)? Am I right with that ?

@Lucifer of course Improved Reading is to read faster and more efficient. You don't read word for word you put words together to groups and generally only focus on verbs and nomes. That's the technique I find while researching. Problems Subvocalisation (talking the words in your head-based on that we learned reading in primary school like that) it stops you Lack of fixation Those problems leads to that your brain is under promoted and it easily gets distracted. Improved reading should be the solution to that Benefits + more time + more information in less time That's all informations I know, but I also saw like you said not much information just course offers. I hoped somebody knows more and has some experience with it. In the internet everybody celebrates this technique but how exactly it used and how you can train this ability I don't know. With love Tim

hey hey, I recently really deal with computer gaming and watching movies and shit. And what I have realized from games and what I often heard is that you compensate in games what you don't posses in real life (power, status, encouragement, ...). I noticed it by myself with an computer where you conquer countries and build up your own country. You really feel powerful and I don't really had that in my real life. So what bothers me is really this question: Do we really need fantasy games/movies? Or is it just an distraction, because we can't get those big things in real life. What I mean by that is, i am a huge fantasy fan by myself (was a WOW-addict). But is it only because it lacks on those big things in real life? I'm talking here about that this whole modell of that every humans like different things is false for me now. It really drives me crazy. Does that mean with every thing a human likes or find fantastic what isn't real, he is trying to compensate something what he hasn't got in real life? I know my question might sound strange and I find it difficult to show you what I really mean. But that's really sth what I'm coping with. I always thought I like this fantasy shit because I'm Tim and its in my nature, but is this only a product of bad experiences and lack of power for example in real life. Is watching movies, which aren't based reality now bad due to this, because it is only a limited compensation what lacks in real life I'd be thankful if somebody could understand me, if not feel free to ask what I really mean With love Tim

A wonderful good evening guys, I often observed on myself that may disability of patience causes many troubles. For example my new habit Meditation, which I can't get really straight for 20 min because on one point I just can't do it anymore or just with waiting for some results, although I know it is a long term effect. How do you guys deal with patience, with this ability to be cool and calm in every situation? Or is the key to continue meditation? What do you say to yourself when you kind of can't get the focus ? Hello from Germany, Tim

A wonderful good evening, I just finished a very productive day of learning. I worked really hard and ,although it wasn't really hard to motivate myself to learning,it was empowering. And I all I want to do is relax and do myself something good today. In former times I had the habit to play computer or by taking a hot bath. But since I take cold showers and quit my computer addiction, because of the many negative side effects, I haven't really something to do myself something good. So: Is Rewarding essential at all for a healthy and positive way of life? (Because I feel like it is) And which habits/activities do you do for Rewarding or do yourself sth good? With love, Tim