Vlad Ropotica

@Pilgrim go in a quiet room or get a memory pillow,get a timer if you are really into this , do some exercise,ex for a minute and then chant AUUMMM as much as you can( the memory pillow is in case you live with more people so you can put your face in the pillow when you chant),then repeat the exercise , the less you talk in this world the more mad you'll become, thats why you must chant ,AUM has powerful vibrations because you don't use the tongue , i've done alot of things in this life for peace and nothing worked but this ,i was literally mad,now i can go outside or in a car without having panic attacks, try it ,if not ,god bless you chanting aum is like a powerful substitution for verbally socialisation

@sgn not only for that, meditation just makes me feel reaaaaaaly happy,but sometimes i end like the way i mentioned before , and if i'll take a break i'll finally be able to see my results (i hope),

I'm dying ,it's too much ,too much suffering ,if i'm not dying i'll kill myself ,it's soo much , i meditated too much ,too much ,i'm going mad , I'm not sure if i can take the life anymore

@sgn trying to meditate away ? i see emotional problems as neurosis, if you're you use meditation in moderation (not like me :)) ) it's a fine tool on dealing with them ,i saw that perfectly after my first month of meditation ,the issues came after i started to meditate too much

@Leo Gura sorry for this post ,it makes people misjudge meditation ...

Hei guys ! i'm feeling way better,turns out that i needed to get angry ,alot (i'm still doing it) still ,i'll quit meditation for awhile

and after this break ,i'll stop meditating for long periods of time

Ok guys, i'll stop meditating for awhile ,it was too much and i don't want to be in that position ever again

@Heart of Space my mind is obsessed with confessing ,but i must be really careful when i choose the person that hears me , my relatives definetely not

if i manage to live after this ,i think i'll defenetely have serious chronic diseases...

all these three years i saw the suffering continuing to grow ,which means it will continue to grow ,right?

thank you guys for speaking with me in these moments... but i will have alot more to bear,so please speak with me when you'll wake up ,i've been meditating for aprox 3 years,i saw alot of happines growing but alot of suffering aswel,my only salvation now is that is my struggle to control my suicidal thoughts and the desire to kill myself.

@Serotoninluv i felt that too ,i used to sit 8 hours in meditation,just because it was better than anything else

every single thought related to me doesn't make sense anymore... it's like i lost interest....

I feel wierd,i still have some feelings but i don't care what happens to me anymore,i'm not sure what to say

@aurum and what happened next? how are you now?

@aurum the suffering?

@Shin i've only found ''dark night of the soul''

no ,i didn't say that,whatever i do i despair

@Shin did you encounter experiences like this? even if you encourage me there are high chances i'll die anyway

@Shin you think i'll have ego death? the pain is madening ,i'n this case i can't wait to die

@Shin not sure which one will come faster,the knife or the meditation

@Sahil Pandit convo?

@Shin it tempts me ,i've gone completely mad with my exercise and i'ts impossible to turn back

I Can't ,if i sit i meditate without trying, it's impossible,i'll die ,it's too much,i'm constantly watching movies and the intensity of suffering is still the same