ryangold

U made me laugh a lot today Mike, again thank you so much. Great sense of humour, good to see the heart behind the ice-man. We're still on for next week yeah?

Sup. Pretty mediocre. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Publicly thanking @lxlichael for the Skype call we had today. Has truly changed my life. Much better than my therapist that I'll still see until I find someone better. On a new track. Sharing art whenever I want, no pressure. No need for validation, finding positive habits here.

I struggle with approval still in some ways. It takes such courage to do without it. My New Years res. I've been speaking to a therapist though I'm not really present in the sessions planning on trying someone new.

Now just waiting on finding my phone. Completed objective. https://www.thoughtco.com/best-visual-artists-of-all-time-3985842 Van Gogh is my fav, stayed with his passion enough outside the need for public approval. That's amazing devotion.

@lxlichael Wow you must live such a tight schedule Mike, that's really inspirational I'm really looking forward to this partnership I know its going to be a good one. A mural seems so far off for me right now so I feel privileged to be able to work with someone as ambitious as you. I know a bit about shoulder injuries and diet as well will help in any area you want there. No one in my family is really artsy, I feel that this part of me has been really neglected in this sense because I always had the yearning. Uploading three drawings today, feeling the flame come alight. And understood Mike.

kg to pounds conversion = 242.508 (110 kg) I weigh 202 pounds lol

Yo don't steal my thunder dog lol. Yeah that's cool I'm down. Where's your art? What's your setup as well (gym)? You're 100-110kg on the bench yeah? What else?

thx mike/ @lxlichael. Leap of faith. if we let our tragedies take us we'll become the tragedy. ---- spent 30 min on this 1. had to change lighting coz bad photo quality can't capture soft lines doin 2 tomorrow or just when it feels, pacing myself still drawin everyday ... don't want to start watching how to draw vids till after about a month as I want to see what I have first --- watched Braveheart today.

got 2 comin today feeling inspired

I still feel so ashamed for what I've written above I'm going to keep it there for transparency To rise above the illusion of other peoples perceptions of me To take more responsibility over my life and my recent tragedies Thank you to @lxlichael you're lifting me up out of graveyard Just get back to me as much as you can no pressure, you're a much better writer than me I'm going to work on getting my thoughts out there more spending so much time being lazy on the keyboard Your message super inspired me, to be a part of a community that cares so much about how one anothers progression seems like a real tough ideal to reach with all the egos but I love it dude What can we do to create a better world, a better culture? I usually never think of this stuff man but its awesome, I want all of that to just infect me

usa sucks the culture ADD I need peace... harmony... tranquility... ascension... i want love i've fucked over 100 women its time for me to rethink my life plan i need more meaning i wish i never left my 5th girlfriend, i was so deeply in love she's now married and happy #Someone-Like-You-Adele im no longer in love with her though i don't know what this journal is going to be, i don't even know what im doing here after that i just drowned myself in 'sex'... now its difficult for me to maintain intimacy with a woman for long periods coz of that desensitization lost, seeking to find myself more i just feel so fucking misunderstood i need healing maybe something will click here i don't know ill explore my path here

@egoeimai yeah i gotta lxlichael is making me haha not gonna let down, do or die mentality evry day

feeling much better today (needed to decompress-reassess before starting over) thx mike/@lxlichael for getting back to me sooner I have a feelng you're going to like what one I have coming. You're the man, grateful not sure if everyday but I'm feeling it way more, getting back into other things in my life more too setting up my future thinking about next year

@lxlichael got a lot I want to say. Reading your stuff. I'll say everything in pm from now on. Any sooner you can is appreciated also. Gives me time to prepare.

@lxlichael and @Myioko thx. Correction. perspective like drawing I've missed that. feeling better get one done today

Thanks Mike (?) I’ve just pm’d you. I appreciate your words they’ve had a big impact on me, I plan on doing everything I can to draw something every day now (thank you too Myioko).

@lxlichael I feel ashamed of myself. I ended up crying with guilt a few hours later after sharing tht. I'm not a good person, I know that. I want to be. I'm trying to work through everything. I need help. I won't lean. I will see a therapist. I've embarrassed myself. I don't have much to say. Thank you for the motivation. I feel more grounded now after you saying that. I'm a better person than what I've shared so far. Apologies to anyone I have offended in any way.

only reason i didn't punch her in the face was because she's a woman last guy that touched my car i put in the hospital. Paid him off. Deserved it won't tell whole story and worth every penny.

stupid bitch old lady scratched my car today as she was reversing, going to sue her, blames it all on alzheirmers why r we letting old people drive then? throw them all off the road I wish we just let covid take them all out let the younger generations take over

giving up meth may go to rehab as i can't handle the sweats started first meditation youtube video

i feel just................. really incapable no confidence dead inside

just.... not doing depressed in bed don't want to talk to any1 studying picasso for inspiration i don't know maybe draw my mind so scattered

^ day 1. let's see how long I keep it up eh ps... that was after my ex gave me head still miserable here. coping

needs work. 30 minutes. content for time limit set for myself (see selfie above)