Medhansh

Saturday, 21December Field Report: 5pm- 5:30pm Location: Pune 0 approaches total. Went with a scummy-ish wing who first took me to a store for his personal shopping and then told he had some work. Saw a double set but he insisted on him opening the set and then introducing me to the set as well. I backed out and he scolded me for this. Then he did a solo single set which went really good and he insta closed the girl. I found this guy to be selfish and he wasted my time and money(I took cabs to and for just 20 mins in field), but he certainly has good game. Hoping for a better day next time. Also, @Leo Gura can you share how did you structure your sarging sessions back in your hardcore pickup days? I am going out almost every weekend for daygame but still my approach anxiety is not going anywhere, also I am still utterly bad with my verbals. It seems like something is off here. How did your typical day went by (weekday+weekend, or night) when you were a complete beginner at game and grinding really hard for this? Also, did you game solo or only with wings? (You mentioned once that you had really good wingmen with you).

@something_else I am considering going to a night club with a female because couple entry is free. But for now haven't really made any strong plans for the same. I'll see how things keep turning out in the future and decide accordingly.

Sunday, 8 December Field Report: 12 noon- 7pm. Location: Busy Local Train Station in Mumbai 10 approaches total. First 3 hrs till 3pm couldn't do any approach because of lack of a wing. Alone I can't approach the approach anxiety is too much. Talked to a coach and he told me to do some warm ups by asking directions, did that. Started approaching after wing came. Opener is usually a compliment like- I really like your outfit, your hair is nice, etc. 9/10 approaches were immediate rejections. 1 approach went for about 3-4 minutes. Exchanged intros with the girl, talked about her work and my studies, and then asked her if she was interested to go out for coffee with me sometime. She said no sorry, I have a boyfriend. I said okay, sweet talking to you, shook her hand and came back. Could have persisted by saying don't escalate so much so fast girl I don't even know you, I just wanted to have coffee with you. About the 9 rejections: Some of them the girl said thank you and moved on (increased her pace to go away from me). I don't persist in such cases. 1 girl I said, excuse me, Hi! And she immediately said, No No and went away. Some girls made ugly faces while saying thanks and went away. Opened a double set saying, I really like both of your's outfits. One girl smiled and looked at me, but her friend pulled her hand and took her away. My negatives: 1. Still need a wing to approach. 2. Hellish approach anxiety. Seen many sets but approached only about 20-25% of them. 3. I tend to speak in a very low tonality whenever I am opening a girl and talking to her, so that people around don't listen to what I am saying. But it is so feeble that even the girl can't listen properly and I have to say the same thing 2-3 times. Bad impression and a bit creepy for the girl. 4. I still can't come to the point where the approach leads to a conversation. I am getting immediate blowouts. 5. My order of operations is incorrect and I fuck it up majorly. Usually I start with a compliment, exchange intros and then lead to more personal things. Sometimes I interchange the order and fuck up the conversation. I don't do it deliberately, it just happened out of fear/ nervousness/ anxiety. 6. In 2 approaches, I tried to "save" the approach by saying that I am a student of psychology and am giving out compliments to random people to gauge their reactions. Didn't help at all. Sometimes I have a tendency to flip around my approach and lie about my intentions once I get a negative reaction/ or am sensing to get one. 7. My body language is not bold. I lean in towards the girl, also partially due to the fact that I am speaking feebly so leaning in (only a little bit) helps get my voice to her. Overall I don't feel good after yesterdays session. It was extremely tiring and mentally fatiguing for me. Walking around for 7 hrs while dealing with approach anxiety, getting blowouts and rejections and scolding yourself for not approaching all at the same time is not fun. But this is the process I guess. Yesterday's session felt more like a spam approaching session. Because of the low quality of approaches and the no. of immediate rejections I was getting. The approaches were not proper, quality direct approaches. I am not even talking about the conversation part, I am talking only about the "approach"- opening a girl and giving her a compliment. That also was not done properly. I am in a bad dissatisfied and disturbed state right now and am going to try my best to change my approaches from a shy, feeble, awkward, borderline creepy approach to a bold, confident, assertive an doyful one. I just don't know how this will happen. Let's hope for the best. Total Lifetime Approaches- 52

Yeah man.

Mumbai Daygame 3 day tour report. I went to Mumbai for approaching which is 150km from my current city, Pune. Total 10 approaches- 8 single sets, 2 double sets. Sticking points- 1. Very timid and low loudness. Not bold enough and only enough loudness to barely reach the girl. Reason is timidness, shyness, anxiety and fear of other people listening to my approach. 2. Voice become very sheepish and feminine, usually my voice is heavier and deeper but in the approach I get a nice guy tone. 3. Body language- tilt/ lean towards the girl, constantly looking towards her to get her reaction. 4. Eye contact is not that strong, avoiding uncomfortable eye contact and sexual tension- trying to avoid confrontational scenario and want to keep the interaction sweet. 5. Run out of things to say. After the initial opener and intro exchanges and basic questions like where are you from, what do you do, I don't have much to say. Need to work on observational statements, and push pull flirting teasing. 6. Fumbling, especially in English. Shows lack of boldness and confidence, assertiveness. 7. Approach anxiety. Improvements- 1. While approach getting attention is easy. Even though voice modulation and loudness is poor, my actions like hand wave make me grab her attention fully. 2. Automatic smile while delivering opener/compliment. Helps reduce fear in the girl. Also helps in giving a couple seconds gap between opener and my next line. 3. Opened 2 double sets which I never have before. 4. Walking sets I have learned to keep walking with them, it has become second nature. Earlier I used to give up if she kept walking. Major Sticking Points- 1. Inability to carry conversation- approach goes: excuse me to get attention, then compliment, then intro exchanges. After that I go blank and convo starts drying. 2. Approach anxiety. I could have done 40-50 approaches but only did 10. All other sets I didn't approach.

Update: Field report: Background- I am a beginner in game and done only about 30-40 approaches in June this year. I used to live in Delhi. Now in Pune (another city in India) for my studies. Went to FC road and JM road (2 famous crowded spots in Pune) from 1pm till 5pm. Terrible day. Could not do even 1 approach. Till 4pm the streets were almost empty, after that crowd started coming in but all were mixed/ double/ triple sets. I spotted only about 7-8 single sets during the entire 5 hours. My experience in cold approach is very limited to the extent where I approach only single sets, and that too with hesitation. So approaching such mixed or group sets was out of question. I had a wing also coming by at 4pm (who's also a newbie), but he had some work so he got late by 2 hrs. I called it a day at 5:30ish and booked a cab back to my hostel. I think it's going to be very tough here in Pune. Delhi NCR was full of single sets in metro stations, malls and so forth. But here it's a completely different story. I am feeling utterly disappointed, tired and miserable. All in all I took 0 action and only burned my time and money. Also logistics is a huge issue. My college is far from the city and connectivity is poor. The bus to city runs at odd timings (reason why I came at 1pm) and I can't afford a cab everyday. Even if I sort the logistics somehow, lack of single sets makes it very tough for me. Pune is full of college crowd and most of them hang out in the city with their friends. Not a newbie friendly place to begin from. All in all Theory- 100, Implementation- 0

Makes sense.

A couple of intermediate gamers I talked to told me that they gamed sporadically and not continously, they gamed on and off a few months, then left game after getting a gf/ getting busy with other things. And then they got back into game after their breakup, getting free time, etc. They did not go out continously for years on end. Yet they are still at a very good level. And as for me, currently I can't game for more than 4 months at one stretch- my current studies don't allow continous gaming for longer than that. Also, during those 4-5 months, I will be sarging in daygame on weekends only: 2 days per week, target is 20 approaches per day, translating to 40 approaches per week. Accounting for buffer and some missed days (external events, approach anxiety, bad days, etc.) I am estimating nearabout 500 approaches in the timespan. But those approaches will not be continous- only on weekends, so every 2nd day of sarging is separated by 5 days. I would much rather sarge daily for state but that is not an option. My question is- does this approach have potential? Or should I change it and look for a better way? (Both for the purpose of building long term skills and also getting results in the short run).

I can relate with this. Whenever I am having a busy day, tackling multiple differing tasks at hand my social ability improves because my attitude changes and I start taking lesser bullshit from people. That sense of busy-ness and getting a lot of work accomplished makes me more confident, assertive and bold to ask people favours. And also increases my inherent value within my mind. But some days I have no tangible task at hand so I end up consuming content online and those days are the days where I am the least capable socially.

How much continous effort does it take to come to the point of building those permanent skills? Is there any approximate benchmark? Or does it differ from person to person?

I have a naturally introverted personality. Barring 3-4 close friends, I don't feel very comfortable and fully at ease with new people. It takes time for me to open up. Overall I feel very low confidence with who I am whenever around new people. Also, I am very bad at small talk and non-awkwardizing things/ interactions. But whenever I go out and party, socialize, dance, laugh, etc. my whole personality opens up. I talk more loudly, care lesser about what people think, have these bursts of high confidence, want to meet new people, etc. This doesn't happen suddenly but takes some time of partying (like 2 back to back parties or a long full nighter party or a 1-2 days trip). After some time of partying/socializing like this, there comes an infliction point where there is a switch in my personality, which is quite opposite of what I naturally am. The same I can experience while cold approaching. I have only done about 30-35 approaches, but did some 18 approaches in a single day within 5-6 hours. And during those approaches, after the first 7-8 back to back approaches I got way less anxious. I started taking rejections lightly and started feeling more confident. Basically built State. But right now I have left partying and socializing since a few weeks, and haven't cold approached since 4-5 months. And I am back to the point of sitting alone in my room viewing online content and spending time with only my close friends. And I know for a fact that all of my state is back to zero. I will be 100% awkward, underconfident, unsocial, etc. when I next go out. But that will again be improved by me going out and consistently partying. So my question- Is pickup/ cold approach/ socializing/ flirting skills/ small talk, etc- just a function of momentum? I see party goers in my college but they do it on a regular basis- atleast twice a week. I mean, to maintain my state do I need a constant flux of highly social, high energy activities happening every few days? Which would basically imply that a large portion of pickup is just building a lifelong snowball momentum by partying and going out regularly- and not letting a gap of more than 1 week before 2 adjacent social activities? Is my interpretation right?

I used to have bad dreams(nightmares is too much of a negative term) as well, a couple of years ago. Had them for a few months, then they disappeared. Possible cures/contributing factors towards cure- Eating light dinners, well before sleeping Not drinking too much liquids before sleeping Having a fixed sleep schedule, not sleeping during the day Increasing sleep soundness and quality by exercising, etc. Stress reduction Anxiety elimination- this is very important. Any sort of anxiety disorder will directly impact sleep quality and can induce nightmares.

Not even the son of a rich upper-class business man, who is pissing away time by burning money, attending parties, etc.? And is also enjoying the fruits of perfect health, young body, high energy, etc. Knowing that he has everything backed up in terms of wealth.

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