Person0

Sorry and thank you everyone.

@Nahm Thank you very much. I think I kind of understand what you mean. I’ll give them a read now. I am grateful for all your help. Thank you.

@Nahm Thank you. I will try my very best to embody what you said and realize it @Chrisd Thank you. I’ll give the TED talks a listen

@OctagonOctopus I enjoyed art before but being forced to do it caused me to lose all my passion and drive. The rest of the things weren’t things I enjoyed, I only did them to get higher on the survival ladder. I didn’t enjoy them. @Nahm Because I haven’t realized love or infinity yet, it’s hard for me to grasp those concepts. No matter how hard I tried I still couldn’t understand, so I’m just left with my pain. If someone hurts you in life first hand (let’s say physically for example), it’s hard to believe that it’s a projection of my mind. It seems all too real. I’ve watched a lot of Leo’s videos including the brutal nature of love. It’s extremely hard to let go and to own and transcend the harshness of the world. I want to be spiritually advanced. But I have failed so far and I have given up. I have no hope anymore. I will try to continue as far as I can. Thank you everyone. I appreciate your help.

@Sempiternity Yes I do but I’m unable to spiritually awaken. It’s too advanced right now even though I want to one day. @ted73104 Leo said in one of his videos that if one suffers enough, anybody would be suicidal. I need sufficient peace to be able to accept reality but acceptance is nearly impossible in my current state. It’s not just personal issues, the world is in fact cruel for the most part. Leo says almost everything is devilry and I happen to agree. I want out. I don’t want to be part of it.

Thank you. I just can’t love or accept being in this state. I have tried it before but backslides a lot and now I’m just being realistic.

@ted73104 I have. The videos did help a little. But I’m still becoming more and more suicidal each day @tsuki I don’t feel comfortable talking about it. I’m sorry. But there are various things that I am unable to change. The gist of it is that the world is a terrible place and cruel. All of my reasons fall into that category - including the personal reasons. It’s impossible to change. I’m completely helpless. I have lost all hope. Thank you everyone.

Thank you for all your advice. @OctagonOctopus I used to have passions but now I just don’t care anymore. Everything that I once enjoyed, I don’t now. @Blackhawk @PepperBlossoms I hope things will start looking up soon. @Farnaby @snowyowl I have tried various kinds of medications and therapies and gone to many other professionals over the years. I’ve done pretty much everything that would be suggested to someone in my situation. They haven’t helped me and I’ve completely lost faith by now. @Thought Art I had hoped spirituality would save me. I tried doing that but failed. I just try to kill time when I’m free because it passes too slowly.

I’ve been depressed for many years which made me suicidal. It’s been getting worse over the past years and I’m at my lowest point. I have sought various kinds of professional help for years and tried different treatments - various doctors, therapists etc. They didn’t help. This suicidal depression has still heightened. The world is a cruel place and I don’t want to live in it anymore. What should I do? I have tried everything to heal. The suffering is unbearable. If you or @Leo Gura have any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate them.