Esilda

BLONK! Right, right, let's do this. I want to find my inner world again. That place where I truly know where I am, why do I need someone else to feel worthy? I feel like I'm ready for love however sometimes I feel so inadequate within myself. I want to BREAK FREE. I want to know without having to be known. I want to be known through knowing myself, wouldn't that be beautiful? To not ever have to feel like I have to be somebody else but myself? What is this world I live in? I look up at the stars some nights, wondering who I have to be, what I have to be, why I have to be. This idea of love, to be loved and to give love. Who is it for? Is it really for us? Why have we even created love between us all? I feel that my hearts still broken when I thought it was open. I know all the things I need to do but the world within my heart has no doing (sometimes --- like I really work myself a lot).

@Preety_India

@Preety_India Right back at yah!

i agree, I listened to it. He has a malicious side he needs to correct. That's just how it comes across @Gregory1. Start being nicer to people, you're not a moderator. Show some decorum. My comments are not at all to create more disharmony between the two of them @Preety_India

@Gregory1 just don't be a hypocrite. It looks bad. Especially when you continue to gaslight someone in a thread where you're talking about not trolling people. Because you found his behaviour "to be useless". How are you the arbiter of truth here exactly on what is useless versus what is not? Under the circumstances, how can you not see his claims as valid? It does look strange you got involved the way you did.

@Gregory1 It just seems like he was trying to scare away trolls and you got emotional from his tactics. You had no reason to get involved in the first place, you weren't a moderator, you weren't a part of the issue am I right? Why did you feel like you had to get involved at all? You should just let the moderators handle those things in future, yeah? I learned this today. Look. Observe. Listen.

@Gregory1 You're gaslighting him right now. It's already been well established that @Preety_India and @Marcel were being trolled and you're now trolling him by your behaviour right now to try and justify something you're talking about avoiding while also saying you're not perfect. What is the point of this post then? You're a musician on here now, why are you not trying to try and be friends?

Why were you trolling @lxlichael then? Or is this an act of redemption? You were acting quite disrespectful towards him recently.

I feel that I want to be weak sometimes, that there's something in my subconscious that shields me from wanting to take the next step. Fear I suppose but then there's something I get off on from encouraging that fear. Like what would I lose if I kept growing? Almost as if staying in one place has become a "good thing", like virtuous or something. Introspecting.

@Gianna No worries darl you've got this! And sad

Loved! @lxlichael @RickyFitts @Preety_India @Marcel @ryangold

@RickyFitts

@RickyFitts You're always so sweet to me I feel so grateful and appreciative! @Loba I feel that its because I'm more of a spontaneous kinaesthetic person, I love to dance, I love to be chatty I just wouldn't say I'm good at translating everything into the written word. I am going to look at your journal more now by the way I liked the way you set everything up there, very unique structure!

@lxlichael u should come join our party again bring some music of urs, do an improv!!! with me @Marcel @Preety_India @ryangold @RickyFitts and anyone else that wants to join!!! @Loba?

@Marcel @RickyFitts do you have any music that would lift my energy levels? I feel like jumping around and then practicing my writing!

@Gianna this is such a great journal! I wish I could write so eloquently as you I have to work really hard at it!

@lxlichael I'm surprised by the wayy!! You come across as usually much less spontaneous!

@Marcel Can't wait! Please, please!

Loved this one! , not so much of the roars however though it did bring me a laugh in a good way, you're a natural entertainer!! @Gregory1 I will report you to a moderator if you keep harnessing members in my journal which is meant to be about love.

@Gregory1 he (@lxlichael ) can post on my journal anytime. What are you doing though lol? Please if you want to contribute, say something about love, post anything about love but leave other members alone. @lxlichael Love the songs @Marcel @RickyFitts

@lxlichael SPEEEEECHLESSS!!!!!! Wherrrrreeeee is your singing journal?

@RickyFitts

@Marcel OHHHH I've been watching from afar your love looks so pure!!! THIS IS SOOO great for the forum you two should share poems, writing and everything of love here to show us all what true love is about!