Marcel

Did a 2h 30 Min meditation today. While doing so the phrase: “Before enlightenment chop wood carry water. After enlightenment chop wood carry water.” Echoed through my mind tying in with. “Be in the World, but not of the world” I feel right at the cusp of a mental breakthrough that I can’t quite put in words yet. Exciting

Rebirth and Reconstruction. Vacant eyes are glowing once more. Energy flows freely. Emotions and Thoughts synchronise. Heart and Mind unified. Peace and Tranquillity take hold. The path forward shrouded in mystery. The path backwards finally completed. The Cycle is broken. Butterflies and Adrenaline. Power surging. Intuitions become reality. Ambitions realised. Gratitude experienced. New Paradigms arise. Progress is made. Evolution quickens. Destiny unfolds. The Universe collapses and starts a new in a violent eruption of raw potential. I emerge.

Well that was uneventful. What An unattended grill can cause. Moving so many cars and personal. Incredible

Enjoy 😘

Today is a good day. I’ve always found it incredibly odd when people go „ugh it’s Monday“. It screams to me that they need to rethink their entire life and how they approach it. Mondays are awesome. A new week of this dazzling adventure hurtling through this cosmos on our, in comparison, insignificantly small earthly spaceship. Everything is Exciting. Even Staring at a wall is exciting. I sometimes wonder how people can possibly become bored, you have a marvel of a mind that can create anything and out of all of it it creates boredom?! The timing lmfao Just as I write that my peeper went of and I’m off. This day will be exciting. Let’s goo

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zCDvOsdL9Q

If you are given everything you can never truly appreciate it. You don’t know what you had until it’s lost is very much a true saying. The human mind is very quick to get used to things and conditions and taking things for granted.

May have a chance to see a bit of Stage red in action today. Just hope there won’t be too much work for us paramedics.

+1 Definitely. Wifey effects are a blessing

To my surprise my sleep schedule is very consistent nowadays. It used to be so all over a place. I had a Phase that looked like this 2-3 months ago, by far the most extreme one. 2 hours of sleep for 7 days 10 hours of sleep for 3 days 4 hours of sleep for 5 days 7 hours of sleep for 2 days I still don’t understand how I only managed to sleep 14 hours in an entire week back then. It would flip flop like this every couple of days. Am I glad this is finally resolved and I now sleep consistently and mostly well.

Im getting better and better at staying present throughout the day.

*pats my carrot and feels her smooth skin ❤️

I believe I don’t write and express myself more because I haven’t quite found and also settled into my authentic self yet. Sometimes I write a long paragraph and after reading it delete it again, never seeing the light of day. I often don’t identify with what I write as if it came from someone else feather. I usually like to resolve mental confusion or chaos by sitting with and observing it, without interfering, letting it run it’s course and shifting my attention to more peaceful seeds I plant in the mental garden of mind. I used to feel that writing about it was distracting, but nowadays I slowly come to appreciate it. I do my best not to obsess about every word I choose and the sentence structures I create too much.

After watching Leo’s new episode I had an insight about my own behaviour in the past. I had reasoned myself out of direct experience for a period of time when I was younger. I distinctly remember at age 18 I refused to go out, talk to people, or to make new experiences, staying at home taking care of my mentally ill mom in hopes I could help her and thought all answers could be found in contemplation, meditation, books etc. So I completely discounted direct experience, something I only came to realise bit by bit after I was snapped back out of that state over time. The amount of mental gymnastics that were involved in this undertaking was tremendous. I didn’t see things for what they were but through this filter I had set up, which looking back was probably a lot of avoidance and escapism, in some ways coming back to bit me, but also benefitting me. Also. The way I studied things was very one sided, I was fascinated and obsessed with the nature of reality, god realisation etc. but entirely neglected practical life skills for quite some time. Something I have remedied by now, but it did very much effect my self esteem at times, when I was for example supposed to handle things like a power drill and forgot to put in the bits, giving up putting up a screw into it demoralised. That was quite embarrassing, but also a good lesson. I overdo things often and need to readjust after collapse, embarrassment or failure. But, the older I get these situations appear less and less, because by now I can generally see it coming before it happens and take necessary action in time.

I made an important observation while working out today. It’s not my body that gives out first, it’s my mind. I believe the reason for this is, when a Workout gets intense, muscle start aching, repetitions feel impossible, It forces the mind to be very present and grow, but if im not able to be present for any reason, it gives out and the tension diffuses into stopping the exercise instead of overcoming a limit.

Yes you should absolutely give it a try. You are scared? About what exactly? Well. I guess no one is quite mentally ready for it, when not having it practiced before. I suppose the main challenge is having cravings. The biggest tip I could give is not to guilt yourself for having and relaxing into them. Meaning. Acknowledging that they are there but not following them. It takes a bit of time to master this, but it’s definitely worth it. The benefits I have noticed so far are more mental clarity, self control and also appreciation for food. In a way it’s an exercise in tolerating uncomfortable feelings and being at peace with them until they disappear and are replaced by a deeper calmness. You can do it. You just have to figure out what works for you. One meal a day ( sometimes ) is a bit extreme I guess.

Ive started to do intermittent fasting in the last couple of weeks. Sometimes I only eat one meal a day and still feel full. Im starting to be very conscious about my food intake. I’m not giving into any cravings. I have no desire for sweets or snacks, something me from couple of years ago would have never believed. I used to love love crisps a lot. The questions I asked myself changed from what do I want to what does my body actually need and it really doesn’t need a whole lot. Even with working and physical exercise, the amount of food I eat is relatively low. In a way I even enjoy when my tummy is rumbling for food a bit. It’s oddly satisfying to have the self control to not give into it immediately and I wait. Fasting is giving me a lot of joy.

went for a short distance run went for after breakfast walk did half an hour of push-ups walks to the store and procures

I think you have discovered what’s called internal locus. Meaning the outcome is dependent on your own behaviour and attitude rather then having an external locus, believing outside forces outside of your personal control shape your life. Good job. Sounds like a nice morning 🐈

It’s been a while since I slept over 10 hours. I don’t feel quite refreshed though. Seems my mind is processing a lot. I had all sorts of dreams this night, from beautiful to bizarre to dark, a bit of everything came up.

That is definitely my pov right now. Very cute. Our assortment of pets will be near infinite soon ( I fear ) lol

Woke up. Does reading, running, eats breakfast and walks to work. *feels great looking forward to your return

And the best picture of the year goes to. Its the perfect expression. I swear I want a cat like this. It’s just perfect. Cute cats fine and well, but this, this is something else. Just imagine this beauty looking at you and putting the universe and yourself in its proper context. I can confidently say that this is my spirit animal. I’ve never felt so identified with a picture. Success. Failure. Every conceivable emotion and circumstance, this is the all encapsulating face. That’s the energy I want to bring everywhere I go lmfao

Did calisthenics workout Did a bit too much of it this week I feel. Muscles tightened and locked quite quickly. Could barely keep up my normal output On to studying. Studied, napped, ate lunch, took care of household stuff.