Jannes

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Everything posted by Jannes

  1. A water filter station is more expensive then that but it might even be overkill especially in countries with decent drinking water. Sad that it doesnt say how much percent of the heavy metals it filters out.
  2. This shit has potential for a song, just take the intro:
  3. @Leo Gura But you said it would be amazing. What did you have in mind?
  4. Leo said he is directing a video game as he has full time emplyeses working on a video game for him. A few years ago he also once said to Razard that he wants to do a movie about infinity to which razard replied that he knew that Leo would want to do that. How the f do I remember these things...
  5. Okay I see. Would recognizing oneself in the mirror count as being conscious of identity?
  6. Isnt that a pretty specific kind of human consciousness? A bee can see ultraviolett on a flower while humans do not so it has more consciousness in that regard.
  7. A person who seeks truth and tries to unbullshit his mind is kind of a strange pervert to society. He searches for deeper and deeper ways of self deception and when he finds them and airs them out he gets off from it. The deeper the self deception the stronger the kick. Like a person who gets satisfaction out of squeezing out pimples. This person searches for the ultimate pimple because he knows what a kick squeezing out the last big pimple got him. In the same same a truth seeker knows how satisfying finding a big pimple of self deception in ones mind is and that finding the ultimate self deception will lead somewhere profound.
  8. My place for philosophical thoughts and spiritual insights.
  9. A situation yesterday triggered me and made me angry (without medication). That instantly got me into a mindset where I thought I could socialize. Basically I can work with any kind of stimulation and make something out of it but most of the time the tank is just empty.
  10. I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf
  11. I took a crumble of a Medikinet Tablet (adhd medication) today. I didnt want to take it anymore because I felt like it changed me to much but I was in such a low the last days I couldnt think of another option. Just that one super small crumble today led me to work on a task which felt so unpleasent I could have delayed it forever with not enough inner emotional regulation control to attack it. Took another even smaller crumble 5 hours later - I went to the gym and I am stil feeling motivated and optimistic and ready to change my current situation. Even all the social problems are kind of dissolved, I coudl actually socialize like everybody else because I have enough dopamine to independently from other people be in control of my emotional state. Many people take up to 3 tablets a day, I might have taken 1/8 of a tablet today... (interesting)
  12. I had moments where I thought about working on an emergency hotline for suicidal people, or becoming a social worker for criminals or heck even becomign a stripper. I never really knew what interested me about these things but what all of them have in common is that they are in highly stimulating environements.
  13. I very much appreaciate these short mini films. And I think I could be good at creating them as well as it connects deep psychological understanding which you cant really get out of textbook but moreso through intuition and the wild creative expression of these insights. Its just that I dont know if I could sit around on my chair all day to create that. I need a stimuating environement to get me going. I recently even heard that many AD(H)D people work in emergency services because they thrive in high stimulating environements. Well I dont have enough experience to tell if I could work on a project without much outside distraction IF I found it highly interesting (stimulating). If not this would be the environement where I would thrive in:
  14. "All civilization was just an effort to impress the opposite sex."
  15. Did you buy them out of pure hope that they would make a career or some breakthrough for you by chance?
  16. Haha thats genius. This in a way closes the duality between intelligence and non intelligence.
  17. It was 20 years ago when he was a drug addict, imagine how much he has spiritually grown coming of drungs, getting more mature, being a parent and so forth.
  18. I dont know. But there are 4 accusations. The odds seem low that he is innocent.
  19. Oh I misread. Well yeah it just makes it likely that it was indeed rape.
  20. Thats not just true of women but probably moreso.
  21. I know that I want to create something that is truly meaningful. I cant really find anything though because I want it to connect to something profound. I need to realize god (which I want to do anyway) and gods beauty and intelligence which will help me find something that is truly meaningful. For the god realization I need to become mentally stable and clear. Plan: Become psychologically healthy, do spirituality, create god-like cool shit. Easy. I am thinking about theatre plays again.
  22. "Why dont you talk about your emotions?" My emotions:
  23. @Nilsi holy fuck a person with adhd had to create that masterpiece. That actually reached me.