Jannes

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

There is a very high spiritual perspective of being a nobody and a very low not so spiritual perspective of being a nobody.

Well big companies in America will have more power then ever so why wouldnt they be safe?

You raise an important point! Personally I don't think I want to be an enentrepreneur yet. It would put a lot of pressure on my work and would also put me on a survival bind where I have to create things which the audience wants to watch to pay me which would corrupt my work. I also need time to even find what I want to create and share with the world. Plus I dont think I could work on my creative endeavors full time. I need experience in the real world to fuel my ideas so why not with a job. But maybe marketing could be a viable career path to make money to built capital and then I could share my ideas. What was your path? - you seem to speak from experience.

I hope and think so. The question is what you do in the meantime. Yeah thats a good plan, I try to do that. I did a bit of acting, wrote a few theatre monologues/ scenes, I really want to draw a few pictures I have in my mind, ... It's a bit of both probably but I think the depression or semi depression from social problems came first. I also realize that I am a very empathetic individual and not having deep bonds with people who I can help seems to be hurting me. It's not my LP I think but still an important and meaningful part of my life so chicken and egg in one it seems. I also get a lot of grounding in return. The social problems are a giant energy consumer, if I manage them the world will look a lot better I think. It's just that I also highly value very authentic friendships and it's not easy to find those. Maybe I am also overthinking and I dont need them that desperately. I feel like I am a bit in a hedgehog situation if you know the analogy of Schopenhauer. Yes, from what I understand with existential bliss I give myself that. It kept me intact through quite the storms but because it doesn't always solve practical issues its not a solution alone. I go to a adhd self help group regularly atm and there are moments of feeling so accepted and understood that I get nowhere else. Thats the practical direction that helps me more atm. I think everybody has social anxiety to some extend Its better when you are used to socializing regularly. Adhd can cause you to overthink about certain things as you can get a hyperfocus on slight social fuck ups and stuff. Of course I won't take your advice as medical advice or something like this. I think my thread is a bit heavy to approach especially with all the depression elements added on top so I very much appreacitate all the effort.

I have just watched Tom Campbell on the Joe Rogan podcast and he talked a lot about paranormal phenomena. There are two main things this makes me think about: 1) Which role does experiencing these phenomena have in growing mankind's consciousness? It might get us out of our materialistic paradigm but it doesn't open us necessarily to deeper truths. But perhaps it's an important first step. And for non actualizers this might be just the perfect amount. 2) Which of the paranormal phenomena are the most promising in terms of being true and accessible? Remote viewing or telekineses if it is true might be the best as its easily verifiable and when you get even just a toe into it it can break a paradigm.

I see. But wouldnt you say a profound mystical experience tops that?

So if it wouldnt give you comfort and smell good you wouldnt do it? You cant make proper science with just your personal observation. And if wooden cookware would be that terrible that everybody would get sick because of it it wouldnt even get sold as it is easily replaceable. So of course I am talking about a relatively small benefit for health but still a no brainer because there is little to no downside in using stainless steel cookware.

Do you have hypochondria for cleaning your hands after you shit? There are just general rules of hygiene to follow which includes cooking wood utensils regularly if you use them.

Nah bacteria can easily spread on wood utensils they have to be cooked a lot to kills the bacteria. The benefits of non stick pans is that you cant really damage them so stainless steel utensils can be used with them.

I meant it more as a will to power. That other animals act more human is like the ultimate sign of dominance. So more of a selfish love for that. Or do you mean the part where the birds share rings? Well that is just part of survival I would guess.

I like the way the blog has developed in the last months, more text packed with understanding and insight and less distracting videos. But thats my bias.

I wonder if that feeling of wholesomeness is some disguised kick we get from a feeling of human superiority that we can humanize the whole planet. Anyway I share that feeling of wholeness to the extend that I possibly dont fully comprehend the underlying structure which created that positive reaction in the first place. I dont know why I write like a Asperger person right now but I enjoy doing so. I wonder if this discovery has broader application. If animals learned that they get a snack for a ring guaranteed maybe they would built strategies around rings. Thats such an interesting field to study. I thought many times how we could integrate animals into society, would be so cool. I thought about orang utan helping in kitas or some other social places. They seem to be very gentle. Or what if we consistently paid mouses to keep places clean, maybe that could work?

Wow there is so much depth in everything.

How much potential would you still credit "sober spiritual practices" for increasing happiness? It would be very interesting to hear an updated view on all the spiritual practices you talked about before the psychedelics phase as you could see so much maturing in the psychedelics phase, it would be interesting to see a similar matured view on the sober practices now.

Insane fame and success can make you ungrounded in your thinking. We as "normal folks" (I assume) would never comprehend that.

I watched a video series of the Presidents playing video games together. It was so braindead. I wonder what this does to my unconscious as the unconscious doesnt fact check, it just absorbs.

You can literally connect every mundane question into the larger philosophical context.

You don't have to be done yet when you are still in the middle of the life purpose. Then again I told myself the same thing and end up wasn't really satisfied with my answer but I did get a lot closer to it from what was possible I think.

Has anybody ever offered you a hug? You can learn from the person leading the hug.

Isnt that something that is only detectible when when the girl has very big breasts? I personally pretty much never noticed. But okay from the girls POV it can be different. Depends on the setting, the vibe, the connection. I dont think it's appropriate to hug a stranger without permission for example. Why? what do you mean with professional setting? Yes, especially in cases like this it's important to ask. You can hug more or less intimately, shorter or longer. depends on the setting. It signalizes a certain degree of closeness.

The song from the blog is a remix from the songs of the life is strange series. It has many emotional songs in it. That fucking video game played a significant part in moving me into an emotional, deep feeling stage green person when I was like 19. When you get over the appearance that this is some kind of girls game and embrace the emotions of it it can break you. Give it a try when you are men enough!

Emotional-hurt-energy-converter-machine: A cage full of crocodiles and defenseless chickens. The chickens as intended get absolutely brutally slaughtered. A highly emphatic and moral person is forcefully strapped onto a chair to watch it. A highly advanced machine connects to the persons psychic energy. As the person watching the massacre feels empathetic, emotionally hurt and moral outrage this energy is immediately absorbed by the machine and gets converted into electric energy.

haha nice.

@TheGod that was a nice read. I hope I will get there some day as well. Have new passions/ another new sense of purpose opened up to you when you deconstructed many of your old ego fantasies?