Jannes

It's also important to take other factors into account. The majority of migrants are males - males are more likely to commit crimes across the board. The socioeconomic position - if you are poor, dont get a job, aren't integrated its more likely you commit crime. That has nothing to do with being a migrant or not. Dont know the exact statistics if immigrants do proportionally more crimes then non-immigrants relative to their population size (I dont think they do: https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/higher-proportion-migrants-does-not-mean-more-crime-german-institute-says-2025-02-18/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) but that should be taken into account regardless.

It's uncertain how the Russian-Ukraine war will end and when it will end in some way it might be important to protect boarders. Also without US support NATO seems pretty unprotected. Die Linke wants to cut military spending - that I think is a very bad idea. Yes that Die Linke wants to redistribute wealth in favor of the working class is great, I agree completely with you on this point! If you want to vote tactically though its unlikely that they get into the coalition because the CDU doesn't want to work with them but the CDU has so many votes there is no way around building a coalition with them. Die Grüne is also for the working class, a lot less moderate then Die Linke though but they want to increase military spending which seems necessary and they have higher chances to get into the coalition. My heart is with Die Linke but I dont know if it's the best choice.

Why?

Thanks, that was a good read! Also German here. I am not that deep into politics so I am a bit late trying to make sense of it all. I See that Die Linke puts the most effort into wealth distribution (in favor of the poor) which is huge and I would love to vote for them because of it. But in terms of foreign policy they are against funding Ukraine in war, against NATO and want to shrink the military, that just seems so hippie-braindead to me especially with unreliable support from US. What are your thoughts on that?

I am considering becoming a professional actor. I just did an audition and I am planning on doing more. From the acting I did in my little theatre group I can tell there are things I like about it: like the strong emotional and creative expression, the unfilteredness, the psychological component of grasping the role and so on ... and some things I dont like - like having troubles recovering emotionally from playing and that you are constantly lying to yourself - which in a certain way is almost more of a true thing because without acting you are still always lying to yourself but believe that you aren't - in acting you know that you pretend. But thats an issue I still need to figure out. So if any actors are on this forum please share your story. How it is as a career and maybe tell if and how you deal with the issues I described.

I had my (first) audition for an acting school today. It was really bad. First I only saw that I had the audition today because of a notification a few days ago so I didn’t prepare my roles properly and had to settle for one mediocre role which I took because I knew the text already and a complete new role I had to learn because I didn’t have anything studied from Shakespeare but that was a requirement. So yesterday I tried to learn pretty much the whole afternoon but couldn’t because I couldn’t handle my emotions until night. Then I studied through most of the night and still didn’t learn the whole text. Then had a four hour train ride the next morning which I used to learn text for like two hours and finally realized before the end being super super tired and my brain bearly working anymore that I won’t be able to learn the role in time. But I heard that they sometimes don’t want to see all four plays so I was hopeful I could get away with it - but what a waste of energies. The market seems pretty compedetive, many of the people there knew each other and had coaches. I liked the environment when we warmed up I even felt like I was one of the most opened up people there. So when I finally played my roles it was rather short. I started with my self wrote monolog which I was pretty proud of but it got stopped 1/3 in its track which was frustrating. Then I did another monolog which lasted like 1min and then they told me depending on the other candidates they might ask me to play one more role. I didn’t know if I was that good or that bad but I prepared for my last role which I ended up didn’t play anymore. They quickly evaluated the situation, one of our group of 4 got in the second round the rest didn’t. (You gotta pass round 1, 2 and 3 and then you are accepted) That was a little sad. The worst part was that we didn’t get feedback. But that’s often the deal with acting schools when they get to many applicants), some are nicer but you don’t get much of a present, you have to fight for that attention. Luckily a girl in first semester who guided us gave us a little feedback that we were a little stiff, not like crazy enough and pointed out that we didnt use our body enough. She said it doesnt even really matter that much what you say what’s important is that you speak with your body. That was her perspective but at least usable advice. I don’t feel good about myself afterwards and it didnt help that I was sleep deprived. I also didn’t attend to other acting schools just this one. So when I attend to the acting schools now it will take months until I finally have an audition. Little mad at myself for that. I also feel a little incapable. It’s not expected to just get a place first time but there is always this thought that you might get beginner luck or something and maybe a partial accomplishment would have been great. I am not really successful in other aspects of life either - I really fundamentally questioned myself there. So that seems to go deeper than I think. Still dont know what I really like about acting. Maybe I love everything about it but get burned out easily as well. It's emotionally very taxing as well and hard on socializing but there is no limit in your creative expression. I dont know if it's acting per se that I love but the creative expression it allows. For improvements in the next auditions: I need to open up more. It was okay but I know there is way more potential in me. People have always told me that my real self is hidden away. I don’t really notice that myself but it could be. And because I am not that emotionally stable it's hard to do heavy acting roles. What I found interesting - When you don’t live a life with high demands you can hide problems from yourself. But right here it’s unavoidable I have emotional blockades which make acting up to a certain level impossible. But I want to do acting well so I have to find ways to get better.

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

His suits look very stylish, thats a detail I value very much. I could imagine his usual ability to capture people with his speech gets multiplied in an in person event with a crowd.

Why do you think its fake?

Sounds good! This can sound quite offensive and outdated to women who live in more developed countries. A women can choose to live a household life but she can choose to be career focused as well. Excluding this potential of a women is offensive. Might be different in India idk. Damn can relate somewhat, watching straight porn just hurt at some point - like what is there to discover anymore.. Have you had a (long) relationship in your life?

Holidays are over so I had to teach my 5 graders math today again. I got some kind of assistent for Tuesday, I am not sure what her job is but she assists in all kind of classes it seems. It was a lot quieter today with her and a lot less stressful. She didnt do anything just her presence did that. I could really see myself working in such an environment. Its really not that stressful and I wouldnt even need to work full time, get lots of holidays and the work is okay fun. A very solid base to pursue my LP from. I am good at actually teaching yet though. Well I am at the beginning of my studies anyway. The thought of acting always comes up though. Actors seem to be freed in some regard which I love.. Open stage, performance acting also seems super cool. I just value excellence a lot so it's hard to pass acting studies. I also had my weekly adhd self help group session today. I regularly experience in this session typical adhd interpersonal behavior which is quite complicated but to keep my thoughts short it might result from an ability to be easily distracted and the ability to hyper focus (for small seconds) on certain body language things like the length of eye contact because that is perceived as important. (I actually found a few people with adhd with eye contact alone. Just that you sometimes hold eye contact just a little longer gives it away.) A person in this group especially mirrors my own behavior quite well and I seem to heal from that as I finally find understanding. I tried with so much force to behave more normally in the past with little success. My adhd behavior unintentionally created a lot of problems and I put so much blame on myself. Now I feel like it is okay, I am okay, I am not at fault. I found love for a version of myself from 3 years ago which wasn't so damaged. This personal emotional drama is all connected to LP. If you get personal problems solved you are freed up for LP stuff. If my emotional problems were all solved the LP course would have likely be way more fruitful for me - so I have no problem talking about these issues here.

I am breaking my 10mg Medikinet tablets into 1/8, 1/6, 1/4, 1/3 pieces depending on how I feel. I dont have a clear plan though, so it's not meant as advice.

From a regular persons POV that can kind of seem surreal - they have enough money to buy everything they could possibly want and could live a super rewarding life with that money but instead they keep on grinding. But a regular person never was in a billionaires shoes, never got a proper taste of power, wasn't exposed to the environment and people a billionaire is everyday, hasn't made the same subtle changes in their lense of looking at reality which justifies their extreme wealth as normal, isnt in their trance. And I mean it's also very counterintuitive to give up wealth and power, I feel like billionaires who spent large amounts of their wealth aren't praised enough. It takes massive amounts of development to do that. Also only a select few make it as a billionaire. People who dont have a grind mentality wouldnt have made it in the first place. It took and still takes time for me to realize that billionaires will keep on grinding to expand their wealth. But that realization is key for every member of society to collectively pressure the wealthy for wealth distribution.

Yes you are right he likely downplayed the situation but I dont think that "he kicked a dog for fun" is the truth either.

It's unfair to not tell the whole story. If at the end you still think he should be shamed for it thats fair but tell the whole story. From your half story it sounds like he just wanted to kick the dog for fun. I think there are different degrees of anxiety, other mental illnesses could be at play and no situation is completely comparable to the other - It could have been a very unlucky situation, where the worst possible reality that could have happened happened by chance. He could have had a really bad day not ruining it by doing paper work in another parallel reality for example. I dont think that excuses the situation but it makes it more reasonable and the person more human like. That he feels sorry for what he has done, did other posts writing about being ashamed for voting for trump seems to suggest that he has conscientiousness. Thats my take on it you can disagree of course.

This is real self actualization at play here, I love it. Let gettoefl be your north star! Well except maybe dont offer them that you can look after their house (and dog).

Thats not the whole story. He had an anxiety attack for example. Here is the whole story:

I could develop a poison in secret that would hurt all of humanity and on the surface dont get any karma backlash. Thats hard to swallow. But I think in the bigger picture it does hurt oneself in ways that aren't directly obvious. To your example first - well your response is a bit of a karma backlash already. You probably tend to distance yourself from them because of it, so thats bad for them I assume. How you do one thing is how you do everything else, when they do this sort of thing it probably means that they also behave in unconscious behavior in other areas of life where karma backlash is inescapable. And it's kinda true that it hurts them spiritually. The unconscious state they put themself in hurts themselves too because they are so far away from anything holy.

Good ol JP teaching us about the importance of abstinence.

I have such a friend. "I will fuck everything."

Men and women are a little different and I think some men if they had all the sexual possibilities in the world would take full advantage of it - I remember a JP clip where he speaks about a story of a very attractive guy on tinder who had sex with a thousand girls or so.. But men are emotional beings too. When they are extremely attractive they sometimes dont get emotional support because sadness is of course a best overcome with sex (lol). In a Healthy Gamer clip a very attractive guy said that he sometimes has sex with a women just so that she is willing to talk to him about emotions.

What the fuck!?

I know that a good chunk of what I write in this journal is complete BS and I am fine with that even though the goal always is to be truthful. It's about experimenting with thoughts and a journey. If I pressured myself to be correct all the time I wouldnt have fun doing this journal.

My place for philosophical thoughts and spiritual insights.

Looking back at it this comment it didnt make much sense. Theoretically it seemed like I might have had a point but in actuality I pretty much dont see any metaphysical beauty in this picture, I just see non metaphysical non beauty. It tells me something very important about the state of my mind though: My mind is lost in concepts. I put them over my direct experience.