Jannes

Things I learned from the hairdresser: He cut more free space around the ear At the top you can cut your hair with a crown and electric razor by putting the hair into a position to be cut with the crown. I only used scizzors, so that may be better Appearently the back of my head didnt look so good, at least he commented on it which would make sense. Maybe I need a better mirror For the pony he made vertical cuts with a slight tilt. Maybe 15 Degree tilt. And the disparities were a few centimeters. When I shake my hair though it looks like more Very short sides look good. Even 2mm Hair powder gives a huge wow boost. I could use it more

Went to the hairdresser today to get the pony done because I need some kind of guidance. It was pretty weird, the one I had haircuts with before cut my hair and I wasnt sure but it felt like there was some underlying tension. I expected that as I showed him that I basically dont need him anymore but it hit different, it hit in an actual way. Told him the sides were good, only like 1mm needs to be cut and he went right away and cut my sides to 2mm (from 7-8mm). Not sure if he misheard or if he was annoyed by all of it and wanted to feel like he actually had something to do. Didnt immediately recognize just how short it was and couldnt go back anyways so I didnt say anything. For the pony I described that I wanted huge disparities in the hair length. He did half of what I said and said that would be the maximum of what would look good. Didnt want to mess it up so I accepted it although I did remember that I could bigger disparities before and that this looked great. I feel like people on the streets were less warm to me. I might look more right wing now. Or I look very attractive and people feel intimidated. Put on a colourful chain for compensation. Obviously stupid conformity games. But it feels awful to be put into a category you dont want to be put it.

Looking to invest into a formal training and would like it to be not fake lol. I did quite a lot of research and will do more but maybe I am biased or overlook something so if you have any compelling reasons for why you think remote viewing is real or not please post them here, thanks.

That we imagine death. Well not fully I think but I became conscious of many of the minds tricks and story it invents about death which are a joke. That reality is made out of nothing. The most solid "something" sensation is completly hollow. I need to trip more.

Well Vlad Vexler would argue that because of Trumps narcisstic supply dependence on Putin he would act in ways to let both of them be winners in the end and this would be such a way.

Even went to the gym afterwards. No energy though but I got through it.

Had an insane productivity drive today simply because of Elvanse. My To-Do Wall looks so empty.

Need a new daily routine for my practice to stay consistent. The new short rv sessions have 5 questions (instead of 15) so I am gonna do this: A) 4 short sessions, or B) 1 short session followed by one regular RV session .. This increases the workload. It would be intuitive to do either 3 short sessions or 1 long session but I think one short session before a long one is required to see how well I am doing.

So I just had a session with my RV trainer today!! Got some new tools, mainly a site with targets where I can view 5 things and then immediately check if I was right or not. This way I can see my mistakes and or what what I done right way faster. My homework assignment for the next session is 15 regular RV sessions and about 10-12 hours of practice on this new site. I also asked if I would need to pay tax on the 50 Euro payment for the session and he said it would be up to 190 Euro starting at 5 Euro and yeah I need to pay tax depending on my country. Its not great but I would still get most of it. Damnit I should have asked immediately why 5 Euro, I thought it starts at 50 Euro, but the question was such a vibe killer. Will put it in my next Email next to some other questions. ____ But the main advice for improving my viewing was that I am not actually looking at the target, I am looking into my head afterwards. I also noticed this about myself and made the analogy with how people in Berlin flirt way more openly and directly instead of me shying away from it. You need to throw your whole mind into it. He gave the analogy of a dog which is running away in the forest and you scream the name of the dog and become completly open to any impression. I need to work on finding ways to opening myself more in this way. Its natural to struggle at this in the beginning, everybody struggles with this at the start.

Doing RV actually isnt that bad as it was in the beginning. I also learned to follow through in a session. I still have plenty of thoughts at times but they dont lead me to crazy contemplations like it used to be which is why I dont write my daily RV insights down anymore.

Tomorrow I have a RV session with my trainer. Its well overdo, after 30 sessions you get one with your trainer and I am at 48 now because I havent dialed in a medication routine yet. Its a big deal, maybe he can correct some things. I was afraid that I wouldnt follow through on RV so I thought I better start with one session a day instead of not doing it at all. That was a clever strategy back then but maybe I can go up to 2 sessions a day now. I really want to learn the skill or fail asap for future planning. Cant rely on it as a building block yet but am also to comfortable to look for other options as long as this may be possible.

Made it through the day really well despite being sleep deprived. 20mg Elvanse worked great today. Well right now I dont think I could socialize well as I lost most of the effect but most of the day went well even into the night with impro acting. No conclusions on Elvanse yet.

No particular order. I also had in mind how people might see me. honest observant contemplative hidden crazy fun energy when known better creative confused idealistic not dominant resilient

Leo print

1k for whoever can record doing this workout btw. I think its doable. The biggest hurdles are probably the sheer volume alone and the squats but each other exercise on its own isnt much of a challenge I think. What makes it easier is that you need to drop a lot of weight with each set.

My thesis is that science can help to tune training intuition by preventing self deception in exposing misguided intuition which comes from wanting to avoid painful trainings aspects and or compensating with showoff training (1RM, excessive swinging etc.)

@Carl-Richard A point for "anti-science" lifting: A few days ago I trained chest with the chest press. Found a perfect angle which felt like magic, it followed the movement pattern of my chest perfetctly smooth with zero disruption of my shoulders. I did a set. Did a second set and when I reached failure I went a bit beyond to squueze a little more out at the buttom. Rested for a few seconds and squeezed a little more out, rested a bit and did the same thing again. Full on "feel sets". An academic would have a hard time saying what the hell that was, maybe beyond failure, lenghtened partial mio sets. Point was they felt amazing, left me sore and were completly guided by my bodies intelligence and passion. That would be hard to replicate in a scientific setting. And not even necessary, I am pretty certain that this worked great and dont need a study as backing. But I also wouldnt say I contradicted science in any way here. I guess the critique here is not against science as a pointer but to take the scientific lense to rigidly into the actual workout. No way would I have found this way to train then.

That makes the story plausible. And yeah its low. But you have a healthy weight and you say you feel fine. Maybe make sure that you hit your micronutrients, proteins and essential fats but I wouldnt worry about it anymore then that. Your body tells you what it needs.

Sleep was terrible today. 2 Days without medication and I experienced my full adhd self again. It was kind of scary actually. Took a 20mg Elvanse dose today and it brings me back for better or for worse.

Create a movie "world" with linear time where you can freely skip to different POVs. No matter the combination, it ends up as an interesting movie. You can rewatch it and take different POVs as well so you get many different perspectives. Kind of like Sims in a way when I think about it but optimized to create an actually interesting plot all around. And I think of 2D instead of 3D.

When your social backbone is wrong. Especially when you speak up and dont conform and then seemingly get support from people but have to confirm to their bias and interpretation of the situation because you dont want to upset them because you are so desperate for support.

Went out with friends in my city and it went surprisingly well. There were so many things happening that evening, most notably was probably me meeting a few people from the old theatre club and kind of re-befriending one of them. Also did an approach. Also had lots of fun. In the end after I said everyone goodbye I saw the girl I hooked up with 4 weeks ago now going to the spot so I drove with my bike towards her and just said like, its weird when we kind of pretend we dont know each other, just wanted to say hi. Something of that sort. Had a very short conversation in which I replied to the question of how many people are in the club. She was with a guy there who was shorter then her though. I kind of felt like he was more of a platonic friend. She very clearly said BYE though. I did it because I was in the perfect vibe to pull it off and I dont think I did anything to wrong in a vacuum but maybe it was a romantic partner of her, or she was embaressed about the night etc. Definitely could have triggered something. It was pretty hurtful but I had so much success this evening in other areas, at least I have a super clear direction of her now. Cant win em all.

Visiting my parents I traded emotional stability for social anxiety. I kind of need of group which gives me both, a foot in the door socially but also emotional stability. I kind of have it but not really.

... So its weird, I dont even really know the girl anymore yet we were so super close for a short time last time. I kind of like it, but its also quite a lot. I wanted to reestablish the connection mainly for friends and a way to stay but my brain goes into a complete different direction, mainly if I want cuddles and intimacy or not.

I had an insane dream a few days ago on 4.12. and I still havent written it down yet so here we go. So I had some great insight into reality, I saw how reality actually is, like that reality has different states and these states all happen simutaniously .. and I dont remember the rest. I felt like I was in my genious zone, like I didnt just feel intelligent, I actually felt like I grasped some absolute intelligence because what I was grasping was the actual fabric of reality which IS intelligence. So I wanted to write that gold down. Unfortunately I only had a smartwatch on, so I typed extremely slowly on there. Then I messed it up and had so start all over again. Then some dude came in talking shit and wanted something and I just said the few things that were nessecary to remain conscious of my insights while also getting him out of the room. So I got him out and was just about to finally write it down then some random ass fat women with warrior spit screamed and ran at me, jumping at me with a lethal attack, and I was so annoyed by it all, I was like, just kill me, I am going to write it down now and this wont break my fassade. So she made her lethal jump and my determination made it so that she was like a hologram, not fassing me. I think I even remembered resemblance to how my mom once broke me out of a deep meditation. Only after the third time she jumped me did I wake up from the dream. Not sure if I woke up in a new dream or actually woke up. I couldnt write down my insights anymore though. Well I wrote down that highlighted bit.