Jannes

Did about two hours of work today until impro theatre started. Online body doubling still works. At impro theatre today I had massive energy, I can imagine why my mind was sometimes a bit destabilized in acting as I can put so much emotions into it in huge energy bursts.

On karma Karma is a real thing. Depending on your behaviour, you get karma for it for practical reasons, like people wanting to support or work with you, or not, even though it’s pretty messy in the real world. The more selfishly you act, the more pushback you get. However, you don’t know the whole picture of who you are or all your evil ways. So as you become more and more conscious of yourself as a devil, the karmic pushback becomes more transparent or subsides altogether when you let go of certain behaviours.

Had a dream today in my childs room where insane wind pressed against the windows. I tried to close them with all my power but it almost wasnt enough. An interpreation for the dream could be that there is a lot of pressure from the outside which touches or pressures me to the core to the extend that it may feel too much. In the morning I felt a new feeling of confidence spread in my chest. I feel like on some level I might have felt that I didnt deserve relationships or hook ups, because I am not even in alignment with what I want to do and now that I am, I may feel like I deserve it now, or at least asking for it seems more natural.

Made a walk to get some movement and to relax. As my mind did I had the most f*cked up hilarious thoughts again. So its about being relaxed enough for this to come up. When I give myself enough breaks besides work then I wont loose this side of myself.

Wasnt this kind of what america tended to be before Trump and still is to a good extent? (Of course not perfect) It will take some time before stage green.

I hear from a lot of relationship experts especially for those who help for a lack of a better term "regular" couples get a foot into open or poly relationships that these couples should make a trip out of town and book a hooker. Out of town because there isnt any social shame or stigma that could possibly haunt them after a bad experience "what we did in this town stays in this town". And with a hooker its also very clear that its a one time thing with no feelings or anything involved. When you sleep with other partner and your partner doesnt I am 99% sure he will have a huge grudge towards you, even if he doesnt say it or says its fine. All nice talk is superficial stuff, you have two bananas (lol) and he has one. Thats some ape level logic, you have to make sure you both have two bananas and then all the sweetness can continue to flourish.

Like a daydream to give release from the current survival situation that cant be enured consciously? Thats an interesting thought, I have also thought about it. I dont think its right, although maybe a little, maybe it also play into what kind of philosophical thoughts interest you, like if you are interested in insights which help to heal for example.

Just layed on the couch a bit and noticed how my spirit came back. What an interesting process to notice consciously. Dude I am so taxed what the hell. On the surface its a bit of work but beneath the surface its probably a very emotional process as a new identity emerges. I did honestly always want to succeed I think but was just stopped from adhd I think so I dont think ego backlashes will be that big at least. I notice how some areas of my mind become way more active. I do feel healthier, like my mind feels healthier although not as spontanious maybe but in a way like more capable which makes me feel younger most of the time minus the times I feel less spontanious. I dont think my mind will be optimally developed, if I did body doubling and therefore tasks which involve the prefrontel cortex in my early twenties more then I would have probably made a better development there. But oh well, I dont want to be a physicist anyway.

Not feeling that good right now. I think I feel all the responsibilites are made more conscious now. Not used to do much work. Did about 3 hours of focused work today. I think that can be enough for now, I can increase the workload over time, I just need to keep at it.

What do you mean?

Oh okay. I just really wonder what that itch for a women can feel like lol.

Maybe he also thinks he can't get a sexual partner doesnt want to admit that. Do you think you could help him find a sexual partner?

@soos_mite_ah You say your type "physically". Do you mean an attractive guy or a muscular guy? I am just wondering.

Making an education to become a remote viewer takes about half a year. Its said however that you need to be focused for 45min to do remote viewing. Oh man. Well maybe with body doubling. On one side they even say they give you free offers to remote view on and pay you for it.

So there are 4 people offering "Schnuppersessions" in Germany. Stefan Franke is the only one oferring to connect with other remote viewers afterwards though. There are also many communites for remote viewing like on reddit I found online as well. Damn I cant research all of it at once, this is becoming ridiculious. I think a beginner session where I test things out would be great and if the target is something I can proof for myself that would be great. Havent thought of it, of course at the session you can see for yourself if you hit the target. Not sure if I want to book from Stefan Franke though, I have a bad gut feeling about it.

It feels like cheating to ditch Stefan Franke, not sure why. Would it be akward to be like, "hey you know I did a course with you 6 years ago and seemed super excited on the surface cause I am a super agreeable person but actually I kind of put you into the same ballpark as other lunatics, which is why I never wrote back. But now I recognize that you might be onto something, so here I am." lolz needed to write that out

Okay so there are many websites offering remote viewing courses and they are all similiar with their levels from 1 to 6 and many offer "Schnuppersessions" as well. Stefan Franke seems expensive in comparison actually. What I havent thought about is that I can use the "Schnuppersession" to proof if Remote viewing works or not. Also its very important for me to connect with other people who do it and ask them if they make money doing it. I remember my first "Schnuppersession" more clearly now. It was a bit boring. I feel like its using higher abilities but very strategic through a mathematic model to maximize the RV to be correct. Not sure how much fullfillment it would get me and I have some emotional blockades from teaching in general because I did so horribly as an exchange teacher.. I could see myself doing it as a side hustle though.

My mind was so muddy and unsharp yesterday when going out from watching these videos many times. In school I had a phase where I didnt watch any sort of content or played any sort of video games. I was very sharp then and was by far the best at table tennis in my class. The day after I played a bit of video games I instantly became mid tier. It was insane. Just goes to show the working of my mind, I have to be careful with what I feed it.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/remote-viewing-archaeology

I basically read through the whole website of "Signallinie". I was deterred at the beginning, in chroniken Stefan Franke speaks about his interest in pursuing all kinds of unusual stuff, from out of body experience to aliens. So its a big package to swallow, its not just the remote viewing stuff. But his whole website seems very professional and his offers reasonable. What I specificially find trustworthy is that he offers small beginner sessions for a small price (two to three hours for 75 Euros). This doesnt seem like a sceeme at all as when you dont find success at all in that you probably wont pursue anymore. He also offers to make you a trainer which takes about half a year. So what I will do now is look into other sources who offer to teach remote viewing or offer remote viewing jobs to have a general overview. If I stay with "Signallinie" I will watch more of the videos and then I would be informed enough to buy the first beginner session.

It doesnt, it hurts the normal average american. It benefits the elite and trumps military power.

Went on a walk and sat on a bench to breath. I noticed a strange feeling, for years now guilt was my default mode from never getting shit done. And now I did everything I wanted to do, like not perfect and there is more to be done, but I did a lot and was content with myself so much so that the guilt went away. And it felt so weird, not in a good way. Like there was a certain freeing feeling in that guilt as well. Chatgpt says its my nervous system not trusting the new situation and it needs time to adapt. I also fear that body doubling wont work long term, which is another layer and another reason why my nervous system might be hesitent, there were so so many attempts I made to get me going which mostly all failed. So lets see how things change now.

I experience similiar things, like I feel more in power social wise. But I also loose interest in philosophy all together, I am just in numb survival mode then.

I am not used to giving myself tasks cause I usually never fullfill them, when I archieve something then usually on the side. So making good tasks and leading where my productivity goes to is a whole new skill I need to develop for myself now when online body doubling remains a successful strategy.

I love the game Team Fortress 2. I took my whole computer setup down so there was no way I could play this game ever because I was too immersed and addicted to it. For some reason I remember this game again recently. What I love about it are the pure mechanical skills and mastery you can develop. There is nothing flashy in this game, everything is pure raw authentic skill. I especially like the soldier class. In a way I always thought about this class as an analogy of how great it could feel to master something truly. There are no gimmicks, you see how everything you put in pays off and you have a clear direction on how to improve. edit: took out the tf2 videos as I watched them repeatedly on the blog (Youtube is blocked) looking at this though it feels so meaningless even though it was fun from a certain point of view. If it were meaningful it would be a super fun skill to master.