Jannes

I watched a video series of the Presidents playing video games together. It was so braindead. I wonder what this does to my unconscious as the unconscious doesnt fact check, it just absorbs.

You can literally connect every mundane question into the larger philosophical context.

You don't have to be done yet when you are still in the middle of the life purpose. Then again I told myself the same thing and end up wasn't really satisfied with my answer but I did get a lot closer to it from what was possible I think.

The song from the blog is a remix from the songs of the life is strange series. It has many emotional songs in it. That fucking video game played a significant part in moving me into an emotional, deep feeling stage green person when I was like 19. When you get over the appearance that this is some kind of girls game and embrace the emotions of it it can break you. Give it a try when you are men enough!

Emotional-hurt-energy-converter-machine: A cage full of crocodiles and defenseless chickens. The chickens as intended get absolutely brutally slaughtered. A highly emphatic and moral person is forcefully strapped onto a chair to watch it. A highly advanced machine connects to the persons psychic energy. As the person watching the massacre feels empathetic, emotionally hurt and moral outrage this energy is immediately absorbed by the machine and gets converted into electric energy.

haha nice.

@TheGod that was a nice read. I hope I will get there some day as well. Have new passions/ another new sense of purpose opened up to you when you deconstructed many of your old ego fantasies?

@Twentyfirst damn thats super super interesting for reasons I dont fully understand I think. It really makes you aware that human values aren't something absolute they can be used by a predator to lure prey for example. It makes you aware what you as a human are in contrast. Imagine this deterrence keeps people from actually saving real humans. There is a case to be made to shoot these fuckers.

I changed my diet when I was like 17 and felt a huge difference. All sorts of little pains, brain fogs, bloats cleared a lot it was quite magical. Now the difference seems less noticeable. I was always skinny I never gained or lost weight when I had phases when I ate more or less junk.

Yeah but the talk is about relative beauty.

Okay so I think both perspectives are a bit dense here. Leo just jumped right in claiming to have good taste without explaining what he means by that. Taste is often considered as a perfect example of something very or almost completely subjective. So someone claiming their taste is better then the taste of others seems pretty arrogant and forceful. And so I experienced a similar sentiment to what Nilsi expressed though to a lighter extend. I also dont buy much into the idea of there being a strong objective component to great taste. But it's immature and unfair to dismiss all of Leos work so far because of one disagreement.

Well I always experienced psychedelic effects, a different state of mind just contributed to a different experience in the trip. Magic mushrooms are a natural product, maybe there wasn't as much psylocibin in the other ones, I have also made the experience that magic truffles (also contain psylocibin) loose much of their strength over time but it wasn't completely lost. So that contributes maybe. Do you take medication? You could also just try different psychedelics and see how they work for you like LSD.

In a certain sense even though I dont necessarily like how adhd meds change my psyche this is exactly what I need and craved. You cant eat or kiss abstractions. I need a more earthly grounding in this world. When I have that I can fly off as a balloon again.

Well that was kind of the question of the LP course and I didnt really find a good answer just a general direction and many things which kind of interest me. The closest thing would probably be to heal people existentially, who feel betrayed by god. But I feel hurt and betrayed by god also. And I dont know if I just value that because I need it. - expressing metaphysical bliss to heal people existentially - My whole contemplation about what I want in life is clouded because I am semi depressed. It's natural, if you feel bad you dont like to do the things you normally like to do. If you felt bad for years you dont even know what you enjoy that much. Well I had though times socially all the way from kindergarden to high school being bullied and taken advantage of a lot. That resulted in a feeling of low self worth which made it difficult to even find friends in university. As a tactical move I went to a theatre club to find friends and grow my confidence and that was partly a total fuckup, it would be a very long story, but to put it short even there I had very bad social experiences and got really desperate as I didnt know what alternative I had. I can only really deal with social situations with medication now. And I am slowly managing the situations now. And I procrastinated so much in university and didnt know what was going on with me feeling incapable and like a failure. Neither healing nor getting shit done for a long time slowly eats at you.

what have you done? so relatable sounds great! I am very interested what the medication does on a deeper level in terms of your connection to reality. I feel less intelligent on medication actually, just more capable and confident. I feel like I am more absorbed into the dream.

A refined articulation: Finding existential beauty in fucked up situations to heal peoples traumas. This isnt my LP I think but a element of my LP, a big value I articulated very well. How could I possibly come to that value if the worries of everyday life ate my alive without breathing room for higher consciousness? I couldnt possibly. That I didnt achieve mystical states of consciousness after 20 trips is proof enough for that. I have to get better first. Life keeps going though so I should pursue a path which allows me to pursue me LP later even if I know it just very vaguely now.

I find it very interesting to hear how other adhd people are doing in life, are you doing alright? And very interesting that you also got that as a top value. Oh I am very much interested in philosophy. I just think that philosophy needs to be connected to psychology and art to be good. Basically all of the art and theatre plays I have ideas for would have some kind of philosophical catch to them. Yes thats very true! Its just seems that there pretty much isnt anything I deeply care about atm. That comes from my semi depressed vision though there is a lot of emotional shit I have to work through. What the LP course unintentionally highlighted was how mentally unhealthy I am. Thats what I need to address.

All of what I have found in the LP course is correct I think. But my vision is very clouded and I couldn’t reveal everything about myself. I have always had a certain existential optimism about life. There is a certain beauty about every experience when you connect it to its existential structure where killing stems from a place of love and so on. And you experiencing reality and getting involved get first hand experience of this drama and can therefore marvel at the existential manifested. And it’s also about self love in all of this. You can deeply love not how bad your situation is but how deep you try to do the best and can structural beauty in that and fall in love in a deeper way with yourself. I was profoundly incredible at self love. This is maybe the best I can describe it, it’s hard to think of how I were thinking. I just feel like most people don’t value these traits and I feel so depleted. I have given up a little with falling in love with life or I am just so out of touch with it. Sometimes when I take a nap at noon or at random events some sunbeams of that once felt inner bliss still sting me for a short while. If I would write stories/ create art this is what they could be about. The inner struggle of falling in love with life. That’s how I could articulate it: Seeing the existential structure in fucked up situations to love reality profoundly.

There is a search of what higher forms of intelligence and creativity are because we need them to compete with AI. Psychedelics give us access to very high forms of intelligence and creativity. Will psychedelics therefore become more popular?

Thanks, that's a piece of the puzzle I didnt know I needed.

So I didnt have a hookup with a girl but it was very similar to a hookup in that I got really close to the girl, we intensely chatted for hours on end, I slept at her place, we snuggled multiple times, we just didnt have sex. She was a little fucked up from drugs she took earlier in the evening and also sad she had bad experiences with hookups. Now it feels so weird. On the one hand we got really close and I feel a deep connection there on the other hand we got close way to fast and I dont feel a basic connection. The world feels upside down.

No, I just want to learn from the situation more and I dont know how it would turn out if I met her again but I guess I just have to find out.

I have mixed feelings I thought I could clarify in this thread. I dont know I am still confused. I am pretty certain that I dont have deep feelings its just when you open yourself pretty deeply to someone even if its just an evening that stays a little with you. I might visit her again, she made very clear that I am welcomed if I want to visit again.

Yes I wanted sex but that I didnt get it doesnt mean I left with nothing. We had a good talk, I warmed up socially and even talked about problems in my mind. I didnt feel like a hero coming home but I felt pretty fulfilled actually. I disagree with your point that men fundamentally see women as sexual objects. Yes sex is a prime motivation for men to get a women and yes there is quite a lot of manipulation going on of men pretending too feel emotions for women when they just want to fuck - but there are other beautiful things then sex when connecting with a women damnit.

Okay.