Jannes

I already did a decent amount of magic truffles and also some microdosing. Do you think there are further benefits for MDMA that I dont get with magic truffles alone?

That does not cure my small penis ?

?? Yeah why ? ?

I thought it over and I don’t think there is too much to worry about. By allowing myself to express some frustration I can see things more clearly now. I simply haven’t had a lot of quality trip time and almost only on the wrong substance plus in my position where I have a lot of things I worry about it’s simply harder to access these higher states of consciousness. Acid seems to be a substance where I can gain a lot from. I got enough time to trip regularly in the next months. If I still haven’t accessed anything satisfying then I will simply make another post. Thanks for all the comments.

I have 1cp-LSD and 1V-LSD. Officially 1cp-LSD is 8-12 hours and 1V-LSD is 7-10 hours. I would have thought that 1V-LSD is in the 8-12 hours range because for me it feels like at least 11 hours. So if officially both 1V-LSD and AL-LAD are both 7-10 hours but 1V-LSD is like 11 hours for me then is it likely that AL-LAD will also be around 11 hours or is that not a good assumption? I can’t get AL-LAD legally so that might not be worth the effort then. I could just put my effort into finding dmt then ? I read that it is more about visuals then insights. Or was your experience different because I don’t care about visuals that much.

I anticipated/feared that this answer would come. But yes that’s most likely very true.

@Tahuti I saw how not respecting myself hurt me because I wasn’t authentic to my own values. That’s pure suffering right here. I also saw how my mindset that I might not good friends at all hurt me. You hang it with friends who give you good energy. It’s that simple. I completely forgot that this is what friendship is all about, am exchange of good energy.

A few days ago I had a light but really insightful 75ug 1V-Lsd trip. Almost instantly before the substance really hit I already got a few insights into my psyche: (I made a previous thread where I talked about how I got bullied in many stages in my life. This adds another facet) I often don’t respect people deep down. Socializing with other people often feels like a really uncomfortable drag to me. But through introspection from previous magic truffles trips I knew that I was kind of bullshitting myself because I saw my immense desire to be around people. I always thought my lack of interest in them was because they had no interest in spirituality and other deep topics and maybe it has a little bit to do with that but I discovered the more likely root cause in my past that I suppressed because of pride. So basically I always had difficulties finding friends. I am naturally pretty unagressive, good-natured and dreamy which is a pretty bad combination for surviving and also somewhat for finding friends. So my childhood was always embossed with me desperately trying to fit in and taking all sorts of bullshit in the process. A lot of memories reactivated through that realization and I want to highlight I few of them here because they showcase pretty well the way I acted: In kindergarden I played like a clown to make other people laugh. They threw sand or snow at me or made fun of me in some other way and I acted like it wouldn’t bother me desperately trying to be a part of them. I had a friend who stole my precious Pokémon cards from me. I visited him and they were laying there. I said something like „Oh my Pokémon cards. I must have forgotten them here“ to him to not confront him and to not risk loosing our friendship. (And yes I 100% did not forget them there ?) In graduate school I had difficulties finding new friends because I was one of the few people who knew nobody. I clang to one group I happened to sit nearby in lunch break. They didn’t respect me at all. They insulted me constantly and always told me to leave. I still followed them like a dog because I had nobody else. After weeks of insulting me they kind of gave up and somewhat accepted me in their group as the lowest hierarchy member. I never was in a position in life where I had a abundance of friends. I always had really few friends and most of them didn’t respect me. I always feared that if I lost them I wouldn’t have anybody else so I often let them abuse me. So all of this resulted in me fearing really strongly to stand up for myself and also expecting others to hurt me again. The saying „hurt people hurt people“ is just so true for me. Somehow a lot of people were interested in a friendship with me in recent years and a lot of girls in a relationship with me. Even though I was super interested and showed interest I always put up unconscious avoidance patterns and hurt these people because they often put a lot of energy into it and thought I would reject them. I had so much regret for every person I unconsciously rejected and just couldn’t grasp the reasons why I acted the way I acted.

I will keep that in mind.

I have only taken two low to medium doses of lsd yet otherwise mostly magic truffles. Lsd is definitely the way to go I feel but I have to work myself up to higher doses. Lsd feels tougher to trip on also.

Like 6 years ago I listened to a short lecture of Alan Watts where he poetically speaks about how it would feel to go through life being aware that you are god. It was kind of a mini enlightenment into the possibility to another way of existing where you flow through life by surrendering complete control. I intuitively knew that this is true but didn’t know what it really was or how to get there but I followed this intuition all these years and ended up here. The materialist paradigm is pain lol. The way that colourful leafs swirl in the air when it is fall, The painful yet invigorating way of cold wind on naked skin when it is winter, a gull screaming while it is flying above the sea while the sun goes down. This has to be profound love, it has to be but I can’t access it for some reason.

@Yeah Yeah What is LOA?

This is just a prime example of mastering something you love and building your life around it. That dude just liked squatting, filmed himself everyday doing it and turned it into his life purpose. For this nieche his audience is pretty big and I think he could easily find enough clients to become a well paid gym coach. I think he works somewhere else but he could easily make the transition. I would have never thought that something this simple could make you independent so I am super grateful that these people exist so that they can crush my limiting beliefs.

I identify as the rarest of male types, the Shrigma male.

Compared to what? In comparison to contemplating at home definitely in comparison to playing video games alone by yourself probably not. I think it depends on the kind of people you socialize with. If you have friends that you like to have intellectual discussions with then I think that can definitely increase your intelligence because you have to explain things in a simple way so people can understand it which makes you understand your own ideas better. Also I have a lot of problems with concentration so when I socialize I train that skill more then when I wouldn’t. But IN GENERAL I agree. I become a lot less conscious when I socialize a lot.

Damn do you have opportunities to socialize? Meeting new people can bring you out of a rut and change your perspective a lot.

Exactly lol. Never tried MDMA but I don’t like the acid comedown and combining that with the MDMA comedown is an experience I want to avoid.

Value is relative. You say you might like money driven people, then business events are probably your best bet. If you look for well developed people then acting class might be an option if that is something you would like to do. Basically there are more women then men doing it in general and also for acting you constantly have to change perspective to act authentically plus most people go there to let go of social anxiety which is both a high consciousness thing to do. I do acting classes and for my acting class it’s also about being socially critical so it’s a super duper stage green place. Of course that’s still far away from a spiritual place but really even authentic stage green isn’t to common also. I mean you gotta settle somewhere.

@Tyler Robinson Sadghuru is at stage Turquoise and the YouTuber is at stage green. I think it should illustrate that stage green is super judgeful to devils because they lack the awareness to see that there is no distinction between themself and devils. If they would see that they wouldn’t judge so much because they would know they just judge themself. But I don’t want to speak for @thisintegrated ??

Discovered a trauma: Somehow I always hated certain roller coaster in amusement parks. Although I was never really scared of any of them. I could do loops, crazy speed, big hights everything but what I hated was when the roller coaster when down fast. I always feel an incredible amount of pressure and unfomtortableness in my anus (or maybe root chakra) when that happens. It might sound funny and everybody always thought I was just scared but that was just the reality and I didn’t know what it was until today. Somehow my dad talked about a scene that happened to me then I was 2. I was in a water park with my dad and some adult friends. There was this really long slide and my dads friend talked me into doing it although I was super scared and didn’t want to do it. He was like "that’s what a real men would do“ and stupid toxic shit like that. I don’t know the exact details anymore but my dad asked me if we wanted to do it together and I trusted my dad whole heartedly and manipulated by my dads friend I agreed to it. Because my dad was so heavy we went down really fast. We flinged left and right and I was probably super scared to fall of my dads belly. I could even remember parts of the event. I was in mortal fear. As a final touch at the end of slide we submerged into the water and it took a good two seconds until we emerged from the water and could breath again. My dad rationalized it by saying that slides were built so nothing could happen. I know how I lost some trust in my dad that day because I never thought he would do something like that to me. Shit happens. I know and feel he is sorry for it and didn’t want this to happen of course.

Yeah Sadghuru isn’t even against veganism in any way. He just doesn’t talk about the devil in a serious way, he jokes about it. Sadghuru laughs the devil in the face. That’s what the vegan cant comprehend because he makes the distinction between himself as a saint and others as devils although there is no distinction of course.

I think its a bit of a moralistic stance that the state takes when it doesnt excecute its criminals. Because the citizens of the state are a product of the state. Why doesnt the state have enough ways to stop and help criminals to not become criminals in the first place? So the state is responsible for it in a certain sense. Its easy to just kill them and not take responsibility for your action. But thats not truth.

Yes thats true but there has to be a pragmatic solution first. Stand up to him or leave him. After that you can practice love. If you do it before it will just because an excuse to not make a bold decision and not authentic love. Also respect and love yourself. See how much your brother destroys your mind. Do you want? Do you love yourself enough to change things?

It depends what causes the anxiety of course. If you arent grounded in "reality“ and thats what causes anxiety then psychedelics probably backfire ? On the other hand if you have social anxiety for example you might be able to identify the root problem. Or you can let go of bad thought pattern that you can now identify from that higher state of consciousnis. Magic truffles definetely reduced my social anxiety no doubt, not sure about lsd yet but its different.