Jannes

This actually looks tragic.

It can be in the form of pictures, poetry, logic, what have you.

A bunch of things happened the least days. Very importantly I finally left the club for good. I made a long voice message to the leader of my club where I finally spoke my honest truth. I noticed that its important for me to speak my truth, even if others dont believe it. I gained a lot of clearity through that and finally felt trippable again after all this time. Took 150q of lsd but the trip wasnt good at all. Almost nothing happened, where before 150q lsd was pretty strong for me. I had a lot of victim energy built up from leaving the club and a lot came up from that. Not sure how healthy that was. I have had an almost perfect social evening today. Not sure what the reasons were, I have pretty much nobody I knew but I have had a different drive, a different feeling of neccessity then normal to find connections today and it worked wonderfully. Pretty much the whole night I was talking and connecting with people. Unfortunately at the end of the night a guy who si a little older directly asked me if we want to f*ck. He was nice and socially adaptive actually, I liked to talk to him before, he was a little close then, but I thought I was maybe interpreting to much into it and when I am a little more distant that would signal the right message. Well it did not. But somehow after I said No, he wasnt really kind of still pushed. I kind of wanted to shake him off without being rude but I think I was so nice in that that he thought I was maybe shy or something. This went on for a bit. It was so weird, I actually coudlnt tell if he was nice or manipulative and I can see through people very fast. I have a problem setting boundaries it seems. If I want to have joy, I have to be able to protect it. This may be a belief system I hold: 'Being happy makes me vulnerable'

There is so much pressure to gain AI supremacy atm .. the place in memphis sped up the process of building his AI a ton, without it he might have been out of the race. I am sure he has lots of rationalizations, like if he doesnt do it then china probably dominates the world and so on. And its not like he is completly wrong, I like to see Elon in control AI much more then china.

I am personally over that bodybuilding look, I like the skinny hippie look more. But it would be great to see overweight people get treatment with minimal side effects.

@kavaris Nice. Thats partly what I wanted to figure out, if people come to similiar ideas.

The loosing fat part is obvious. Being overfat causes a ton of sicknesses like high blood pressure, diabetes, ... Obese people dont live long but even chubby people can benefit a lot from loosing some fat health wise. If you have too much fat, loosing that is one of the best investments you can make for your health. In terms of muscle. Well bodybuilder muscle probably isnt healthy for you, but you want some muscle to protect you from injuries especially at old age. I dont think the health benefits of gaining just muscle are huge though especially because the wasnt gained traditionally through weight training so no extra bone density for example.

Chickens are such great material for video game characters, because they cant really fly a long distance but enough to do some key things. Which makes it balanced. Having a birds body would be very fun to explore but at some point you have seen most tricks. A chicken body seems in a sense way more fun because you have to do pretty unique movement regarding each challenge. Imagine a chicken super mario costume.

I started listening to Goethes and Nietzsche as an audio book and quit very fast because you need full attention to follow so it wasnt a good fit as something I could casually listen to in the gym but that would maybe make it a great fit for the one book in the bunker.

Or do I stay in the bunker relatively shortly ?

That would be a very specialized book for this purpose. Like I might love to read a book about an adventure once but that wouldnt make it a good fit as the one book for the bunker, not because its bad but because its not intended to be read multiple times. A person kept sane in a prison where he was isolated because he managed to steal a book about chess rules and played chess in his head all day long. So a book that gives you something to work on could be good. Maybe a very long and complicated book as well where it takes you years to decode every single detail.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/biology-is-god

Pointers to God Whether you follow a particular religion or see yourself as “spiritual but not religious,” let’s put our differences aside for a moment. Can't we all agree that whatever each of us calls the highest truth—THIS is pointing towards IT?

'Moral people' are profoundly disconnected from spirituality.

When I intuitively contemplate about reality I catch myself relying on certain profound quotes or pictures for their richness quite often. So why not put all of these important pieces into one picture as a new piece of art.

Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion (c. 1944) by Francis Bacon Description (GPT 4o): This triptych presents three distorted, part-human, part-animal figures against a flat, burnt orange background. Each panel isolates a creature contorted in anguish, echoing mythological Furies and symbolizing raw emotional states—rage, despair, and suffering. Painted in the aftermath of World War II, the work reflects Bacon’s bleak view of the human condition. The figures are unsettling and grotesque, merging flesh and furniture in a surreal, nightmarish vision. _____________________________ I love myself some good art. While this picture is aimed to capture the emotions after World War II, it feels very much applicable to everyday people as well. Most countries arent in immediate risk of war but survival and unconscious ways of going about it are still going on in every domain at every moment. We justify our unconscious ways until the day we die, but if we were stopped in our tracks while we were still going strong, forced to confront all truth about ourselves all at once, thats the ugly face we would reveal. Thats what we are without spirituality.

You could tax companies for using AI so that the wealth generated by AI can get transferred into UBI. I would agree that it probably wont lead to a 1 to 1 transfer because of corruption, but maybe enough for basic goods.

My emotional system is constantly overloaded. I need to find ways to balance me to do anything.

Okay thats a fair point.

A nature jungle gym kind of destroys the flow for me. Like when you live a primitive life in the jungle, thats your gym. If you live an unnatural life then a modern pretty gym is great as well. But whats this in between - its way worse then an actual gym and makes his jungle home less naturally aesthetic.

I feel very clear in my head now. I feel SO ready to do psychedelics again, its absurd. I needed to talk about all of this in the club so badly... I do feel bad however and think of the consequences that I might create by revealing all this. Its quite a net which could turn against me.

The leader of the club replied back a couple days later and asked some questions. Then so much shit which was stirred up inside me came up and I gave a very long voice message describing parts of my experience but in a raw way. At first I was anxious getting this out. Then I felt super authentic and confident. Still have some doubt mixed in but I generally feel really good about it... this doesnt capture the emotional weight AT ALL but I am to tired to describe it in detail right now.

I sometimes suck at certain communication rules. If I want something, I dont know how to ask for it. I am either overly nice or straight forward and the letter comes off as egocentric. I feel like most people have dipped into the water enough to develop some strategies, I havent to the same degree.