Jannes

You mean the rules?

Thinking that smoking weed is cool

chess status

When all I had for distraction was chess, I became addicted to that. I need to find "healthy" addictions.

Got it by trying out some things. Didnt come to the conclusion without using the link.

Its a nightmare to read if you arent a good reader to begin with.

Impro acting went well today as well. Relatively little juice of my medication. What I did differently was I tried to give myself an emotion at the start and built from there. I didnt work out the way I thought it would work out but somehow I played more emotional. I really want to craft my technique.

I friend of mine offered to take picture of me for my dating profile. Super random. I have a long list of ways to interpret it but I think I just wont interpret it at all.

I feel lonely but at the same time I dont anyone really near me. Part of it is also that I dont open up to the same extend I feel like. Sharing vulnerability creates a bond. Authenticity as well. Whenever I talk about something that actually moved me in my self help group or somewhere else it created a sense of connection. Maybe I just need to do that more.

Well there was already lots of back and forth so after all of this I am implying that I dont know if he is a scammer or not so that isnt nice. On the other hand doubt must be something he faces regularely so that was a Red Flag of him.

The 5 - 190 Euro range wouldnt be a problem though as after 10 weeks you get into the 50 Euro range. In case that will be relevant.

My RV trainer responded. He seems pissed. Terrible sign.

What a story to wake up to.

I dont even know what I did today but somehow its night and I gotta sleep.

This would go to Off-Topic btw.

My old bike dealer had a physical calender with nakes girls as the poster so you could see it openly. Quite liked that. It had an authentic charm. It fit because he was a really nice guy.

This makes me emotional.

sex-positivity

Well yeah, you are in the midst of other well trained, somewhat naked, sweaty dudes. So in a sense you enter some kind of intimacy. But its generally handled in a sort of brotherhoody way, that sort of intimacy isnt connected to sexual thoughts I think. And this wouldnt be unique to BB, think of the soccer team taking a shower after a game or some naked people withing close with nature, is that all gay? I think its homophobia in some sense. Either A: you arent gay, so why would you care to long at another guys schlong. B: you are gay, so good for you.

I am doubting RV a lot right now. And it sabotages my practice. I wrote my trainer if he could provide evidence that RV works and that people pay for it and he hasnt answered yet. Well its sunday, but I feel a sense of unease as long as I dont have an answer.

Damn thats crazy. Would also be interested to see one of them in real life, its always different in person. Yeah body dismorphia is widespread and you also unlearn intuitive eating from all the regiment. There is really nothing healthy about it at the high level. And even if you want to archieve being as jacked as possible, thats such an immature goal, like fundamentally nothing is accomplished there I feel like. Although you can say that about most sports.

Mmmh you can do it in a healthy way which makes you age more gracefully. You need to really overtrain and take stupid shit to fuck your body up I feel like. I want to be that grandpa who can still squat, imagine the extra life quality. Whoa, you mind sharing some stories?