Jannes

WOAH, I have forgotten so much about meditation.

3 scoops. 2 regular ones (4mg each) and 1 with just a little extra. Around 13mg I would guess. I got nothing out of it really. I could only think about my survival situation atm. And how painful it was to be looked at as the absolute worse. And also in how much pain she must be in. Lol Oh and also how much I am looking for a relationship right now. Well or in how much of a survival ( not thrival ) mode I am atm. I am hoping that through RV and God and a gf I will arrive at a place where I can enjoy life. Well I dont think I am quite wrong but maybe a bit of consciousness work of being in this moment right now is important.

I am a bit late to the discussion but some critical thoughts about it recently hit me so I would like to share those. What gave Leo really bad looks was when he made big critiques on science and presented himself as the science expert studying the history of science and so on and when he was pushed to make some actual arguments about where science is lacking he didnt seem prepared, only making one sorta point but then continued by critiquing science even more completly jumging over a proper point by point critique of science in the first place. I remember that this exact thing happened on the Charisma on Command interview and that this was also the worse moment for Leo in that interview. Also generally Leo presenting himself as all wise seemed arrogant and preachy-ish. Maybe that also attracts some audience though. On the other hand I really enjoyed when Leo grounded some of his pretty outragous claims to make them reasonable in the relative everyday context. "I was kind of cute about it.." And also when explaining many of his concepts of survival, love and so on the explanation seemed extremely clean, a sort of quality you dont get anywhere else and a big chunk of his speaking part was just that. So some big hits but also misses I feel like.

Talked to a dude who I thought witnessed the whole thing but really he only got snippets that I told him and nothing else. He said that sometimes people have made really bad experiences and then when someone triggers that experience, they connect that bad experience with what someone else did. He said he witnessed me as a really nice person who wants to solve problems but that this is basically not a battle I should engage with. Thats of course an overly positive and one-sided perspective, he doesnt have a big picture, but still a really important take-away. I know that she was once very painfully rejected, it seemed like it broke her and shaped her identity.

Kinda scared to go out and meet someone I might know. I dont know about this social spot anymore, my safe space is kind of ruined. But all the people I know are there. My best option I think is going tuesday to another spot and maybe not going on thursday every time until things become easy again.

So the people that confronted me at the social spot, I saw a few of them yesterday again. Well for one, one of the leading guys there said in the beginning that I can get in but he might kick me out later should she arrive. That left me knitting on the same spot for 5 hours. I really need the talk to further explain my situation. Well its likely that to a certain degree she already shared the info of the mail but I dont know about that. So well a few of the people who confronted me I saw again. She looked at me like I am the absolute worst. Then she brought another guy who I forgot was also present who also looked at me like I was the absolute worst. I tried to built some eye contact but there was no way getting through or to a conversation so I ignored them. But the amount of stress I felt was quite something I never experienced before I think. A new quality of fear.

Just went outside after a shower to check my letterbox. Someone starred directly at me about 60 meters away at the door of a house and when I looked back at him he eventually got inside. Not sure if I am getting paranoid or what.

Someone just knocked at my door and then ran away (I was quick at my door). Psycho shit

True, every useful technology will also get corrupted everytime.

Felt like shit today at my social spot and I couldnt quite grasp why. One of the reasons was that I spent time with my family, which was good, but also kinda nulled me so it took time to get back into socializing. But even with that life just felt so awful, I just would have like to cuddled with someone to tank energy but I dont have anyone.

I still didnt get an answer for my email I wrote about a week ago explaining my case. It feels so long that I already begin to feel that I wont get an answer. But I likely will.

A part of my soul sorta left my body the last couple of weeks. Which is also why I didnt write that much in my journal. That and shame that others read about it. I know this is my safe space but I know some lurkers read my journal from time to time and I was ashamed of it. Anyway I already introduced the topic before, I am just quoting this from time to time here and try to write without holding back.

My task till that day is too look for what I did wrong to get bad results. Well I am trying to do that for as long as I practice. I usually notice differences when things outside, like social dynamics, change.

My RV session SUCKED today. I was completly out of it because I couldnt practice as well the last couple of days. I should now write him after 10 hours of practice for our next coaching session. Darn ..

LOL , I just had such a symbolic dream. I was in the classroom and one of the guys there I knew from back then asked for a friendly fist bump which he got. Then my bully asked for one as well. I declined saying that he was a bully which seemed to have struck him very deeply. He sat that and took it like a massive hit he needed to process. I always felt bad for him. It seemed like just before tears rolled out his eyes he changed seats. LOLOLOL LOLOLOL LOLOL Dreams with my ex-bully always carried a lot of meaning and showed how I developed and overcame what I was forced to be back then.

I like the white shirts of Peter Ralston. I would look like a wanna-be saint with those though.

BRRRT

I just said what its function is, I didnt comment on wether that is a good thing or not ... I dont think society would change in such ways, no one would be really happy with that, not even the women. Look at the tradwive movement as a counter movement.

You know me so well that I am predictable to you? Well I exaggerated my point a bit but the "blue pill" helps to hold society together morally. Your claims about incels are very interesting, can you back them up with data?

To hold society together. Otherwise incels would start a civil war.

No

I dared to go to my social spot again. Everything was good. Although I was scared SHE or someone of her gang would show up. I had quite a lot of fear actually and it will take a while until things will return to normal. But I feel like I am getting my voice back. My internal voice as well, I was too pulled into this survival situation.

For how long have you been doing it? What is your experience with it? I am not sure what to think about this mind reading stuff. Her orange glasses look super cool but make her look like a performer, but thats just a small detail.

OMG the post truth AI slop

Havent watched Harry Potter but this is hilarious