Jannes

On Love True love is love for enemies.

My place for philosophical thoughts and spiritual insights.

I dont know why but its pretty common for me to experience higher consciousness fragments specifically on an afternoon nap. Its hard to describe the experience, its very emotional, very beautiful, out of this world but also much more home. I could melt in it, its like everything good in the world is THAT. Its qualitatively completly different from what I experience throughout the day and its orders of magnitutes better then what I experience on a regular bases. Usually I only experience it for a short while, like a few seconds or even just a spark. Anyone got a clue where this comes from or through which practice you can get more of it if midday naps open me up to it ?

@Ziran When I didnt get enough sleep at night I like to do a midday nap to recharge. That way I can get more done but can still sleep at night. I am a student at the moment so I have a lot of freedom in how I spent my time. That IS a privilege I have atm. But adding more meaning onto it then that feels like a stretch.

I appreciate the honesty I like the dudes outfit, the blue color match well

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

There are many open source AIs and some of them even run locally on your PC. I dont see how chatgpt and co. can get customer to pay high prices in the future when these alternatives which are almost as good exist.

Lol, why? Yeah that could play a role

Yeah maybe A nap isnt the most relaxing state though, that would be deep sleep. But in a nap your body and mind cools down from working, its still relatively active, you could get going right away. Perhaps that has anything to do with it.

Well association but is that the end of the story ? ...

Why is that beautiful? Why is that opening me up to painful emotions? How can a picture do that?

I want someone to make sense of situation but in the end I have to do it on my own. I think the buttom line is that most people dont have healthy relationships, they lack love and they arent saints about relationship rules, if something better comes along that can be taken. For me that means I wont be understood if my moral standards are to high and also that I should carefully look for a gf.

I have no idea what you mean with this.

Men my meditation today is the most crap it has ever been. Likely because of my adhd medication. I can do work with it sorta but its not good for letting go and connecting with myself.

Yesterday I just made a short remark about my current flirting situation to my adhd doctor. She was maybe the only real life person who believed me in this. But it seemed she didnt take it that seriously. I mean yeah, I am so sexy and everyone goes razy for me, oh god what should I do is hard to sell as a problem. But it comes with many problems, like not finding platonic friends as easily or having responsibility for many peoples feelings. One thing I thought about this morning is that I experience it as a problem so I think it is a problem, but maybe there isnt much of a problem but I resist something that doesnt fit my identity. Maybe the identity of a loner is unconscously baked deep in my bones and now I am in an awesome position which my mind simply interprets as a problem because it doesnt fit my identity. There are reasonable problems that come from my position but I also should take the possibility that this is friction with my identity seriously. For better or for worse I didnt really feel seen by my adhd doctor this time.

I have got the thought today that what if I never got the emotional space and attention to talk about some of my problems. What if I cling to that because I experienced it as a child but now I dont get that sort of attention anymore. How would I treat some of my situations differently if I fully knew that I would never get full attention for my problems.

Some of the greatest hits come from playful experimentation https://youtu.be/QbKOuUfxonQ?t=250

When I take a break from adhd medication and then take it it hits different. A very strong boost.

Well 13 year old can do serious crime and can be a danger to society. I am not sure how time in jail affects people, but a quality jail in sweden might be very different then other jails in other countries. It might even offer opportunites. Social and psychological work can be easier when someone is in custody. I saw how in scandanevian countries jailed people get a quality education and can get a good job when they leave jail. Of course cutting someone off from their family and normal social life is a drastic thing, but they will only put serious cases in jails I am sure. I think its more about that it can be hard to get employed in the future if this is in their resume, so maybe there can be strategies to hide that. I think that would be fair.

The RV session with my trainer was good. Well he told me that when I view and dont get something new and surprising then I dont actually view. I need to try as many times as it takes to get something. I got this picture in my head of continuely trying to light up a match on a matchbox but never getting it to light up. A really uncomfortable struggle. Well, thats what I am in for.

Come to think of it, I never ever talked about my actual problems with the people close to me. That is that I struggle with flirting accidently. My friends at impro dont know about it. My friends girlfriend was willing to cheat with me. A deep struggle and puzzledness about the world stays with me and I cant talk about it.

In this ranking of how complex an object actually is, where would you put a clockwork? I think there is a point to be made to put it anywhere — no manmade object comes even close to the intelligence to natural things like a biological thing like a leaf (when you look at the cellular level) or maybe even a rock. So that could be reason to put it very low. On the other hand it expresses a kind of meta intelligence — the object in a way is an expression of awareness of reality. But is this moreso a secondary attribute, or is it somehow backed into an object in an actual way? edit: I put the pure materials of the clockwork next to the rock as a guess. Is the whole clockwork put together more complex then just the material by itself because it is a machine which is created through a relationship with/ a consciousness of reality? Its a real practical question btw. I want to view targets for remote viewing and this is one question I want to ask "how complex is the target?".

These real life war films are kind of addicting. Kind of questions my self image, oh well..