Jannes

Jajaja I had bad experiences with guys in my life which is why I have a negative reaction to heteronormativity and dudes in general https://www.actualized.org/insights/doubt-your-own-antipathy

First day getting back into university today. And I met the one girl I liked so much. Now I enter an interesting point, if I enter a connection with her I loose opportunities elsewhere. I am not above slutiness and casual sex. And I would loose other more immediately stimulating (sexually) options. I think of myself as only longing for deep connection and with not much interest in casual sex, but I think I would miss that a bit. On the other hand I am free to do casual sex for quite a while and I never want it because I dont feel the connection or I dont want to hurt anybody etc. Ma mind is weird. Anyway I am definitely trying to get to know her better, this is surely the right direction atm. ... Btw. my mind feels pretty disfunctional, I am not clear at all. Not sure what it is, but it clearly has to do with my sickness.

I dont know what happened but in my style and in general I feel more at home with my masculine. I think it was with a thread discussion here that I came to a conclusion.

Imagine a place where time doesnt exist but clocks are still functioning normally.

I kind of came to that thought just now that I fear connecting with other people sometimes and that there is somewhat of a artificial and intense block to the natural flow of love and meeting people. There is a girl that I really like but I kind of fear a bunch of things. Like getting myself into something I havent thought through, hurting her feelings etc. Fears: Fear of rejection Fear of responsibility (of her feelings) Fear of getting into something I cant easily get out I need to think something through to a degree that I feel comfortable with that person. For example if I feel like they are attractive enough and have good character I can kind of let go of control and enter some kind of chaotic sort of love. But that limits me so much as well. Oh and I forgot, in my old theatre club I managed to create feelings so fast from other people that I really started to take myself back.

Isnt it boring that its all love in the end, cant it have different flavours for a change? Oh ...

Thats highly speculative on my end. I feel like when reality feels unbearable and you intuit that it could all be much lighter, more spiritual but somehow there is some shit in the way, to cope with that people come up with all sort of stories, stuff that they heard off, stuff that is connected to their survival and so on. Basically the mind being disconnected from spirit and trying to get back at it clumsily and woowoo-ly.

Interesting. I see the potential insights when you can decode their woo-woo right. But also lots of potential for misinterpretation.

I have just started to become interested in psychedelics again as I spent more time on the forum. My interest in psychedelics was at an all time low and I wondered if I even wanted to take them again. Kind of yes to answer some questions but practically not really. Now I am a lot more interested in it. Great insight for myself

The average reaction of a men to being the only male left on earth: Oh no (yes), capture me, what are you going to do with me. 😏👀

@Thought Art 🙏

Sad to see you go. You were one of the very first and few people I followed years back because you struck me as so smoart. All the best!

I wanted to say that the hunter gatherer stereotypical roles play a large part in informing other roles that came on top of that, grounded them in a sense which is why they are important to the ego and which is why the conversation is so charged. I dont know where you are coming from with people viewing women as an object back then.

I think its deeply connected to our identity/ ego and our place in the world/ justifiction for our role in society.

Ah okay, still somehow this is the point where it ended..