Jannes

Aaaaah I dont know what to do. I am split between two paths 1) Go to Berlin now 2) Go to my social spot today Well 2) is my choice but then I dont know how to start this evening. I dont want it to be like the other times when I am overwhelmed by all the people there, I want a smooth start like yesterday. But I dont know anybody really to do something like play some billiard asap right now. But then what do I do!?!? Well I can just go NOW, there wont be anyone pretty much, so I can have a smooth start and increase step by step. Damn I really need to write to make a thought.

Basically all in their early twenties, with older women I cant tell as I have less experience with them.

I had so much charisma when I entered the room today, after I socialized 1 on 1 before. its incredible.

I am just filled with positive emotions. How could I forget that meeting people 1 on 1 is so important to my wellbeing .. Also it recontextualizes a few things, when I met my friend once and felt so good afterwards, it wasnt totally just because of him, it was just the 1 on 1 situation itself. And today I was with a trans person and I enjoyed that. So I guess my transphobia is somewhat in check.

Oh okay -- all good.

NO, I dont subscripe to any toxic manosphere. Its my own experience only. But I like to hear that from other peoples perspective this sounds unusual, which makes me think that my perspective is partially limited.

Men I had a great evening today. Finally it was pretty fun again. I completly forgot that it was a blast sometimes, it felt so challening the last couple times. I went with a friend to another spot before with a few strangers and I feel like that really warmed me up. All of my problems of how to greet people were gone like that. Holy moly. And it seems like I got some kind of love letter. Hard to tell, in my storage room I saw a piece of paper. I didnt see it falling out of my Jeans but there is no way someone got in there without a key so I guess I didnt notice how it fell out of my pocket. It just says "... Weil DU ❣️da bist! with a flower on the side.

I am hearing that it is all biological

What I dont like about this video is the focus on biology. Its important yes, but it also gives explanation for why women would happily go for casual sex now. "Just sleep with Chad and get child support and get an ugly Cuck bf and you maximized your genetics."

This is counterintuitive, when women say they want casual sex and men ask them for more then that is a much deeper bond then if they were forced to commit to a relationship if they wanted sex. So even if women want a relationship, for it to be healthy the attitude to get it might need to be more free.

Seems very solid so far but a bit old ?

Its been a long time. I was more cringe in my memory then I actually was. Ofc pretty misguided still.

Thats the thing, I was insane for not letting her cheat. I was basically accepting serious emotional pain, being alone without anyone holding me. Which I got. And I only made this decision because of some inner spiritual compass which guided me towards truth. Afterwards it became effortless, but building that muscle was insane. I have adhd, so much of it is genetic unfortunately.

Thats beautiful and poetic in a way. Can relate.

I was always a feminist in my bones, thought they were the more ethical gender. I was always more comfortable around women, when men played ego games, women had emotional depth and maturity. I vibed more with them. When I first made the experience that a women would cheat with me or replace their bf with me I thought it was a rare case. She must have been in a toxic relationship, at a bad place emotionally, something like this ... so I could maintain my positive view of women. But this positive view of women I tried to maintain got broken again and again and again as I made more experiences to the point that I cant even picture a women who wouldnt cheat or replace her bf when the opportunity is great enough. I know ONE girl with such a character and I would marry her if she was my type physically. For my mental health I am biased towards seeing women as pure angels lol. Not saying women just jump off the moment a better opportunity arises, but only because it takes a lot of time to built a relationship so the cost is too high oftentimes.