Jannes

When I loose video games and youtube, its not so easy to answer what I am going to do if I dont have anything to do. So a made a mind map. (watt nu? translates to what now? )

Germany just got kicked out of the WM. I actually feel kinda sad about it which surprises me.

Oh no, I just realized that a good chunk of how I imagine a good life is through the lense of apple products. On a trip I also imagined a good social life through the lense of an IKEA catalogue, so nothing unique about apple.

What is interesting is that the good life that I imagine never has anything to do with mindless consumption, I always imagine myself in a creative process. But then practically that feels too hard. Well ... what does that mean? Is the version I have of myself correct and I simply need to catch up to that practically? Does it mean I need to account for real life?

Completly blocking embedded videos makes a huge difference holy shit. Its really weird atm, I am so used to mindlessly consuming stuff that I have little strategies on what to actually do when everything is blocked. I also noticed that I seem more quick in my thinking and more confident. When free dopamine isnt available you are more willing to get it elsewhere. Like when your brain thinks you are doing survival when playing video games easy peasy then why would it pour resources into socializing which is risky. I noticed this before as well when I quit video games and its interesting that it also works when I block youtube.

Gold

wtf !?!? I am doing this for almost a year now with appearently close to no results.

Went out and socialized a bit. Gosh I feel so much better now, I really need more socializing/ I need to recognize more if there is a lack thereoff.

I like these ones https://www.hottopic.com/product/the-amazing-digital-circus-caine-dark-wash-t-shirt/34210798.html https://www.hottopic.com/product/the-amazing-digital-circus-pomni-glitter-t-shirt/34210797.html

Tees for mentally ill people https://www.hottopic.com/guys/tees/?start=160&sz=32

Jaaaayyy I did something productive !!

If everything works out I can put 39 credits of my old math studying into my new degree. This way I would have the option to do some math teaching if I want to.

I am wondering if I prefer people to sleep with I dont have feelings for because I am scared of actual intimacy.

If freezing to death is muss less painful then burning to death, the ability to think that while you are in the freezing cold is ... intelligent/ abstract?