Jannes

The whole block sounds pretty logically coherent and thoughtthrough, so its not easy for me to find anything obvious you havent considered yet. But I will try my best. Do you have a therapist which specializes in autism and child sex trafficking though? This seems like the most important thing. How do you feel at the different social spots? Do they make you feel better or more lonely? I know they have a logical purpose, but that is only true to the extend that it actually helps in practice. Oh, that complicates things. On the one hand it sounds reasonable to start with some inner work beforehand, theraphy and so on. On the other hand you said that the help there was limited and THIS would be a way to move forward. Do you meet a decent amount of girls on a weekly basis? That would increase the chances you will find someone where you are comfortable laying your fears besides with. A change in scenary can work wonders. How would you finance university though? I heard that in the States you need to pay a lot. Oh and do you have a journal on this forum? It can help with processing a lot.

Well, Russia is pretty untouchable if it threatens with nukes. So militarily it cant be beat. And if Russia stopped the war, it would have a lot more resources to stabilize the economy. Also there are still asshole countries trading with russia. So I think its likely russia will pull out its spikes, lick its wounds and carry on a lot weaker then before with worse living standards but not taken over. Maybe in the long game you could trade nukes for trade benefits with russia.

This goes in the opposite direction of this thread, but I am interested, is this "Will we or won't we?" also about (casual) sex or romantic only? I feel like the longer I know a women the less horny, adventurous and impulsive I get about it. Though the connection deepens ofc.

I dont have much experience with being very selective about women with whom a relationship or something sexual is unthinkable. I had a female friend before who was way less attractive then me so based on that I thought it was clear nothing will evolve but she also catched feelings and got pretty sexual. I was bad at setting boundaries so the whole dynamic got pretty akward in the end. Maybe if I was more clear from the start it could have worked out. I also heard from guys who had good experiences with lesbian girls. Or maybe a super attractive girl out of your league. But maybe you catch feelings for her then..

Love is the overlapping of survival agendas, so yeah, if some part is interested sexually or romantically which the other wont reply to, there will always be some unspoken tension and it will never feel just right. I have noticed though that women are pretty passive oftentimes, like they wont escalate first, so they might give some hints but if you dont do anything the dynamic often wont evolve. But tension can stay there, so its not perfect. And sometimes you need to set boundaries. When I realized that I tried to befriend more men, even though I was always more comfortable with women. Men are less accessible but its feel more true. But its a though pill to swallow, like just look at them ...

Yep. Survival fucks everyone, no matter if you are at the bottom or top.

I liked Admiral Trench a lot as a villian.

Sounds like you already put in a lot of effort and strategizing. Regarding your loneliness: Do you have someone outside of your family to reach out for/ socialize with? Weekly events where you socialize? How expensive is a flat in Newport btw. ? Maybe you could move into a shared apartment, which would be much cheaper and also help with loneliness. I get that the job situation can be though. I dont know if I have tipps for that other then to hang in there and maybe take chances outside of your comfort zone.

Sounds like a good LP. For your jobbing situation: What kind of jobs have you worked in? How is depression and autism holding you back? Do you think there is anything you can do to improve your situation?

If I am pinched against a wall and murder seems like my only escape I would probably do it. I definitely felt like I wanted to get a big revenge in my life before but never to the extent of murder I think. Moreso humiliating them or something. Probably most likely in an immediate life threatening situation where my animal brain just takes over and goes nuts.

@trenton What keeps you with your family? What resources do you have to get out of this situation?

Oof I like this: "If this person has harmed me so badly that they have made my life unlivable and intolerable, then the consequences of my actions become irrelevant. The goal in murder is not to get away with it, but rather to ensure mutual destruction knowing there will be no victory." A bit like with my old theatre club at times, not murder, but fuck them even if if fucks me up.

I wonder what would happen to my psyche if I had an affair with someone. I never let it happen but it also cuts me off from understanding. I would probably regret it though. But then that would be a direct experience and not theory. ... that really got me thinking hard ( https://www.actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-757 )

Yes you do "masturbate" in violent video games, you fight and shoot people and get your thril, your bloodlust satisfied. Well okay, but they do imitate real people oftentimes. But if you think this is true, do you also think then that hentai is safe?