Jannes

There is nothing wrong with improving your looks, it will have a lot of benefits for your personal life. I only have an issue with calling it a spiritual pursuit.

When I take psychedelics I always find myself so beautiful. Especially my natural form though, a groomed beard looks artificial like you cut through the natural order and beauty for some odd reason. Wild untrimmed hair is where its at. It literally seems antithetical to spirituality to me to groom myself.

My grandma just died. Was planning to visit her before her death today .. I feel relatively little yet

I heard the tip once that its better to share your ideas because that way you can find people who want to work with you to actualize your idea.

beautiful

When you are isolated against a group ..

Okay so I drove to Berlin but then didnt feel like going to my friend and went to a table tennis bar instead. Got the number of a girl there. She seems to be in her end twenties or early thirties and looks pretty good. I think a one night stand was on the table but I missed it. Looking back it may have been kind of a dick move to not go to my friends birthday event, I was kinda scared to go because I would have met a bunch of people I have never seen before and I was pretty late and was going early as well, so that was a bit akward. But I simply wasnt in the state to handle that situation, I was too numb or socially to exhausted to make a good decision there. Well I dont think my decision was super bad either.

I am also scared of meeting a bunch of people that I have never seen before.

Yeah, I would love to have a look ..

OMG OMG OMG OMG

Sitting in the train now. Two thoughts flash my mind 1) I should respect myself more. Doing the trip is people pleasing. 2) I am in fact very productive in the train. But this is kinda working accidently, I am hiding my people pleasing side under this excuse.

A friend of mine is celebrating his birthday today. It would be about a 3 hour drive to the place, then about a 3 hour stay and then about 3 hours back. I cant decide if I want to go or not. I kind of dont want to, but I could actually be pretty productive in the train. He was completly understanding if I wouldnt want to go. I have to dedide in the next 5min aaaahh!!

Holy shit. At first I couldnt believe this is real.