Jannes

I am hearing that it is all biological

What I dont like about this video is the focus on biology. Its important yes, but it also gives explanation for why women would happily go for casual sex now. "Just sleep with Chad and get child support and get an ugly Cuck bf and you maximized your genetics."

This is counterintuitive, when women say they want casual sex and men ask them for more then that is a much deeper bond then if they were forced to commit to a relationship if they wanted sex. So even if women want a relationship, for it to be healthy the attitude to get it might need to be more free.

Seems very solid so far but a bit old ?

Its been a long time. I was more cringe in my memory then I actually was. Ofc pretty misguided still.

Thats the thing, I was insane for not letting her cheat. I was basically accepting serious emotional pain, being alone without anyone holding me. Which I got. And I only made this decision because of some inner spiritual compass which guided me towards truth. Afterwards it became effortless, but building that muscle was insane. I have adhd, so much of it is genetic unfortunately.

Thats beautiful and poetic in a way. Can relate.

I was always a feminist in my bones, thought they were the more ethical gender. I was always more comfortable around women, when men played ego games, women had emotional depth and maturity. I vibed more with them. When I first made the experience that a women would cheat with me or replace their bf with me I thought it was a rare case. She must have been in a toxic relationship, at a bad place emotionally, something like this ... so I could maintain my positive view of women. But this positive view of women I tried to maintain got broken again and again and again as I made more experiences to the point that I cant even picture a women who wouldnt cheat or replace her bf when the opportunity is great enough. I know ONE girl with such a character and I would marry her if she was my type physically. For my mental health I am biased towards seeing women as pure angels lol. Not saying women just jump off the moment a better opportunity arises, but only because it takes a lot of time to built a relationship so the cost is too high oftentimes.

I opened up youtube a bit for entertainment and its starting to make a bad turn. I just cant controll myself in watching "good" content, I just start binging at some point and also dont consider doing anything else as long as I can distract myself. There are two components neccissary for healthy habits though, one the Youtube block as a push, but I also need a pull, some kind of motivation to do something else. Right now RV and studying feels like the right thing to experiment with, I am a bit disconnected from spiritual work and I socialize. It feels like something is missing though. I actually miss some kind of job honestly, something that gives me structure. A part time job would be nice. I kind of dont want to go back at working at the grocery store though, partially because I feel older now and already had the status of a teacher once. But the grocery store was nice. Well no it was shit, but I enjoyed my free time more because of it and also processed so many emotions doing monotone tasks.

Sounds good in theory, what are some actual recipes though? If you wanna get that protein you gotta consume a lot of it.

This guys thumbnails always remind me that things are so much cooler in fantasy then in practice. When he sits there in his made bed having this image in mind is so much nicer then his actual first person perspective of mud and darkness. Of course he could have made it a nicer home, there is lots of room for improvement but then the fantasy of that place rises with it. I feel like how it is in fantasy will always trump how it is in practice. ... Is being lost in video game fantasy the way to go ? 🤪

I like Open Source projects, they are something good humanity did. I also always thought about sort of extending that to community farm projects where people create self sustaining systems powered by AI, farming crops and all that and sharing their knowledge. The question is just how far you can you go with creative intelligence and a 3D printer. It inspires me when I look at Minecraft Farms who are just built for fun. I imagine a bunch of Minecraft Bros after highschool who dont want to go to work be like, "Hey why dont we create an AI farm for real". This could be an important element. Leaving society seems scary though.

I am kind of off track with my spiritual work. And I completly forgot that it may be possible to get 5meo malt. Magic Truffles dont really work on me anymore for soft theuropeutic work, but I havent yet experienced God realization.

Met my doctor for adhd today. I didnt come with notes. I mentioned my social problems again and she mentioned that she would be willing to help if I wanted that. Damn. She always seemed pretty cold so I am not sure about it, but in the moment I agreed to it. She said I can think about it until then. Also got an App which I dont quite understand yet but it seems I am getting support there. For medication I could get other options as well. I am not sure if I want them though.