Jannes

Okay so she writes that the party was great but doesn't comment on me saying that the walk made me hungry on which she could have replied that she is hungry as well. I think I was to subtle.

The name Gobliss isn't taken yet. A mixture of Goblin and Bliss.. meh

Thinking about some companies name while I wait for a possible response. Eh I put too much into it it feels like. Anyway I only found 3 companies with Goblin in there. I want a sorta weird name for my companie. I am really bad at finding names though. Will need to work with chatgpt for that.

The party is over, steps are initiated. I hope I fail so I can get some rest and sleep.

The hot girl wrote me back that she is still there!!! I didn't check properly. Well I could tell her that I am getting hungry and we could meet to get a snack. The party should be over any minute now. Why the hell is my mind working so sharply when I just want to get to sleep..

After carefully selecting my outfit so I wouldn't look like a afd voter I got to the place at around 3 am. The floor was only open for about 30 more mins and my friend was already gone. What a waste of time. Although the spot is cool. I didn't stay there for longer then a minute but I will keep the place in mind for the future.

The adhd mind can grow till you are 30 in the decision making region. Thank god

Okay so she writes it's cool there, the music is good. I don't feel the dancing part. The thing is that she kinda wanted to cheat with me on multiple occasions. That I am cool with her pretty much hurts my integrity. Well the only reason I would go is because of her friend. Which could be a lure. When I flirted with another girl before her she didn't seem cool with it so there is little reason to believe that she brought her friend for me. too much thinking

I needed an hour to transform my inner state lol. From enjoying swimming in my inner pain and sorrow to going into fight mode.

That's never how it's going for me, I usually stay the whole night then and that means I am fucked up for tomorrow. And it signals I am needy when I jump at the first opportunity. (to the girl) I wrote her and asked how it's going atm. No reply after 10 mins yet, will see.

If somehow all the girls know each other and she is now interested cause the other girl makes that WhatsApp pic I am going mad. I haven't decided on anything yet but I am becoming increasingly sleepy. It's probably dumb to pass this chance.

I feel a lot of emotions right. I kinda want to coil in and sleep. A friend of mine just told me she was going to a party evening. I am not feeling it at all. Now she says she is bringing a friend with her which I want to bang and who probably has the same interest. This is such an awkward energy shift. I really committed to being a sad fuck right now, what the hell men. I don't know what to do.

So the other thing.. A letter arrived. .. It almost seems like a blue and red pill are presented to me now.

I dont really know what to make out of it.

Couple of important things are going on right now. For one, a member of the old theatre club changed her WhatsApp picture a few days ago. Its pretty hilarious, she has a bloody nose and a nipper in her hand. Basically someone who goes crazy for love in over the top anime style. Next to her another girl from the old theatre club holding up a nub as one of her eyes. I have seen the outfit of the second ones a couple of times. And the message was pretty clear. She was very toxic to me and I was so emotionally unstable that I was kinda helples. At one point when she did make up she was like I could clock off your eye so easily.. Well, when I left the theatre club without saying goodbye, maybe there was some internal pushback and that was a good low milestone to symbolically express that she was sorry. In this way another girl also expressed some of it. And now this .. my anger dates back years ago towards her but thats symbolically such a big commitment.