Jannes

Well 13 year old can do serious crime and can be a danger to society. I am not sure how time in jail affects people, but a quality jail in sweden might be very different then other jails in other countries. It might even offer opportunites. Social and psychological work can be easier when someone is in custody. I saw how in scandanevian countries jailed people get a quality education and can get a good job when they leave jail. Of course cutting someone off from their family and normal social life is a drastic thing, but they will only put serious cases in jails I am sure. I think its more about that it can be hard to get employed in the future if this is in their resume, so maybe there can be strategies to hide that. I think that would be fair.

The RV session with my trainer was good. Well he told me that when I view and dont get something new and surprising then I dont actually view. I need to try as many times as it takes to get something. I got this picture in my head of continuely trying to light up a match on a matchbox but never getting it to light up. A really uncomfortable struggle. Well, thats what I am in for.

Come to think of it, I never ever talked about my actual problems with the people close to me. That is that I struggle with flirting accidently. My friends at impro dont know about it. My friends girlfriend was willing to cheat with me. A deep struggle and puzzledness about the world stays with me and I cant talk about it.

These real life war films are kind of addicting. Kind of questions my self image, oh well..

Oh yeah, I always found the force strong in homeless bottle collectors.

Never watched it with the translation. 4:57

When I think about why I want to do acting, its because of THAT. I would have loved to play her exploding from anger. Expressing such intensity. Great voice lines, I think there is some potential to express her anger in that moment more creatively. But really I am just building on top of the foundation that this show has created, they did a good job.

A lot of unproductive thoughts come up as soon as I dont take my adhd medication.

Also I partially dont have a Plan B. I am too old to get accepted to an acting school.

I checked out the WhatsApp Group of my old theatre club yesterday, in particular the pictures of the members. I am finally taken out. The old theatre club still has such a massive grip on me emotionally though. I have so much anger. I knew I couldnt look at the emotional pain of the loss of the old theatre club straight because I needed to protect myself emotionally. I had so much love for this place, looking at the reality that all my dreams crashed and that I will never have it is just too much to accept. Maybe thats why I cant let go off my anger.