Jannes

When I talked with a girl a few days ago I noticed the one time she kind of got close physically with me which was when I was in a super careless fun state. Its almost selfish to want to be in that state, at least I feel like its very much about me in that state. I can remember very well though that this specific state is the key, its only a question of how to access it. Well it has to do with daring. Doing something I am scared to do.

Just had a late night RV session today and it was pretty good. I just felt so peaceful and could actually stand the present moment which made it workable.

There is nothing wrong with improving your looks, it will have a lot of benefits for your personal life. I only have an issue with calling it a spiritual pursuit.

When I take psychedelics I always find myself so beautiful. Especially my natural form though, a groomed beard looks artificial like you cut through the natural order and beauty for some odd reason. Wild untrimmed hair is where its at. It literally seems antithetical to spirituality to me to groom myself.

My grandma just died. Was planning to visit her before her death today .. I feel relatively little yet

I heard the tip once that its better to share your ideas because that way you can find people who want to work with you to actualize your idea.

beautiful

When you are isolated against a group ..

Okay so I drove to Berlin but then didnt feel like going to my friend and went to a table tennis bar instead. Got the number of a girl there. She seems to be in her end twenties or early thirties and looks pretty good. I think a one night stand was on the table but I missed it. Looking back it may have been kind of a dick move to not go to my friends birthday event, I was kinda scared to go because I would have met a bunch of people I have never seen before and I was pretty late and was going early as well, so that was a bit akward. But I simply wasnt in the state to handle that situation, I was too numb or socially to exhausted to make a good decision there. Well I dont think my decision was super bad either.

I am also scared of meeting a bunch of people that I have never seen before.

Yeah, I would love to have a look ..

OMG OMG OMG OMG