Jannes

If I stop now I wont reach my intended goal of finishing my house work. But really I will get at it tomorrow anyway as soon as I have time, so there is literally no time lost when I go to sleep now, as I will be fresh earlier. The only question is am I still productive and can produce intelligent thoughts.. the answer is NO. Goodnight

I dont know, I think I prefer the company of women. But also the feminine energy has something unclear about it. There is a certain comfort about the clearness and directness of masculine energy which is quite grounding.

I could continue to work but the day is liteally kinda over. Its very late at night, I think last night I only went to sleep an hour later. Have to keep this in mind, monday at regular midnight, not that late into the night like right now.

When my medication looses its effect I always get kinda horny, thirsty for stimulation.

Asked chatgpt for promodro videos (when my discord group leaves me hanging) Lol, it suggested a video with a dude for me. I will take it, will see.

Half the mini breaks in I, I spent in a relaxed squat. Gosh it feels so so good, its so healthy for my body and my joints. If I keep this up more routinely I will be a very fit dude in old age.

I am a bit overwhelmed th my work atm because I already did most things, there are just many small improvements I need to make which are scattered around 20 pages. I dont really have one spot to work on.

Journaling is not procrestinating in most cases as it helps to clear my mind, order my thoughts .. well maybe in this case its a distraction.

I could actually benefit from a second screen. I mean I still got 2/3 of my regular screen for my main stuff which is workable although not ideal and the other stuff like discord cramped into the corner which is really not ideal. Would be much more comfortable ifI had a bigger discord window and enough space for a to-do list and stuff. Hmm.. well for this semester its too late but maybe at another point I could get two screens.

Aight, last sprint of today

Why does understanding feel good? I have never really tried to understand that.

There are videos for it. Downloading one right now.

I feel pretty toasted. Worked for about idk 6 to 10 hours today. Definitely worked straight for the last 4 hours just now. I dont know what the right strategy for motivation and energy conservation is. I definitely need breaks but when and how?

I have no energy today, getting tired towards the end of the marathon. The best thing would be a complete deload day with no medication and nothing intellectual to do and an epic 10 hour sleep but now I gotta push through.

The more you tell yourself that you are a good person, the more meat you have to shock absorb when reality hits you with the revelation that you arent actually a good person.