100rockets

I can see that all happiness is bs only to satisfy some bs desire or get some pleasure which doesn't really exist anyway. I like what you're saying tho..duality. I guess I'm in a black hole right now so I am seeing this from there. And I'll give your other points a thought. Thanks

The problem is this lie is so deep I don't think I've seen it all. Not enough. But It's freaky just taking a glimpse.

@Toby Thank you

What do you do now when you realize there's no happiness either? It's not just depression, I can see that its all bs. So why pursue it? Why do anything? It's all a lie. I can see all my bs is a lie! its nuts I dont know what to do about it Even my family is a lie, my parents think im their child, or a friend or whatever. I'm really nothing. Its just a piece of meat with billions of nerves and stupid thoughts circulating around itself making meaning to nothing just trying to survive. For what reason? It doesnt even know. I dont wanna talk to anyone or see anyone. I havent been anyways, its all pointless

I'm having trouble going deeper with self inquiry because Ive come to the logical conclusion that I am experience that arises from this body. Any and all experience that arises from the specific body that is writing and thinking this - that is me. Experience is thought, taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch and all other minor sensations we are not always consciously aware we have such as balance, temperature and more. I'm not a scientist but to my understanding, meditation and drugs of any kind (all the way from alcohol to psychedelics) alter brain chemistry or activate or deactivate different regions in the brain and so give us a different experience. In my strongest mind altering experience my every day sense of self was gone, at one point I even stopped existing as a human but I still experienced something. When I reached this conclusion that I am experience I tried to break it down to am I really experience? Which experience? What if I had no sight, couldn't hear? couldn't smell, couldn't feel etc' I always come to the same conclusion that yes, I am any experience that arises from this body. If thought is gone, I still have other senses that are there. Where this really hit me is when I asked, what if i had no experience? I tried to find times when I had no experience, although imo this is somewhat impossible but the times I don't recall an experience is before i was born, in deep sleep and when I was under anesthesia. I cant recall any sense of awareness or remembering being nothing, I was gone. In a meditative state I sometimes reach a point where I feel as if I'm not attached to this mind or to this body at all. Where I can sense what I really am and it seems like all this thinking about it is a pointless joke but with self inquiry I am forced to think through it and logically this is where I'm stuck at. It makes me wonder, is this state of hyper awareness during meditation, as pleasant as it is, is it just another illusory experience? And who is it behind the experience? The brain is such a tricky thing could this be a trick too? just another part of my brain that is aware of itself? If there was no experience there would be nothing to watch and I would be gone. How do I know that I would be gone? Well I don't but I remember nothing from the few times that I can recall experiencing nothing. This is a whole thing in itself... if there was no experience perhaps there would be no memory of any experience to remember. It seems that awareness or the true "I" that I am looking for has no memory in itself (because it isnt a brain..?) So could I recall being aware while not having an experience? I just came up with this now my god this doesn't end The bottom line is that in order to be aware of whoever it is that im trying to find it must be while I am having an experience but I am convinced that I am experience in itself and I cannot find out it if this is not true because I cant be aware of not having any experience at all, even if I could how could I recall it?

I dont know which one is more true or if they both are but i want to find out

I've read some trip reports and from what I see it's mostly kids doing salvia and having weird trips. Then I did read some interesting ones where people feel like it takes over them right away and they are blown into hyperspace or out of body. I dont have experience with any other substances I understand this one is intense but is this one on the bottom of the list or is it actually a good substance to use for self growth? Does anyone have experience with this that can share? I want to know if this can be used for introspection and if you can reach an enlightenment experience I don't want it to be some drunk type high.

Also I must say that even though I took a small dose it was not a good idea to do this without a sitter. I did remove sharp objects and had a friend ready to be on call 5 minutes away but I had no idea how strong this is. I can easily see how I could have smoked up the house or fallen over on my head. Even if I needed help I would not be able to make the call. Next time I attempt this I will definitely have someone around.

ok wow. I finally did it. I was going to meditate first and do some self inquiry but i was feeling kind of antsy tonight and decided to just do it i smoked a low dose of 10x salvia and i was hit instantly, as soon as i started feeling something weird in my legs i decided to lay down but i didnt because the bowl was smoking up and i was trying to stop the smoke when my window all of a sudden became a female motherly presence this is so weird to try to describe but I was in another dimension all of the furniture in the house was alive they had faces and mouths and this female presence window was talking to me she was a caring figure she told me everything is ok to leave the bowl alone and give some to the other kids (the furniture) I was stuck in a limbo I was in another type of world but at the same i was like wtf is this??? i just want the smoke to stop and lay down. I dont know how long i was completely not there but as soon as i laid down it must have worn off a bit because I remember everything speaking to me, all the furniture was talking i dont remember what they were saying at this point but i remember trying to pull myself out of this weird warped twisted reality I was telling myself wtf is going on? who am i talking to? whos is talking to me? theres no one here so who are these beings? I slowly started to shift back but it was still weird. I then decided to take another hit and lay down. I did this twice, the window was again this female presence and there were some things i saw that i cant explain because it was like a bizarre dream but there were these weird looking beings, they were all nice and wanting to take care of me but i was resisting this weirdness and so it didnt last long. I suspect that if I smoked a higher potency of this i would go deeper and longer into this odd place. @Ramu I read your post after this and Im pretty sure I encountered lady salvia and her kids. Also all the pictures posted on this thread are somewhat accurate in how twisted things can get. After 3 hits I decided to meditate (probably should have done that before) and i fell asleep and had a dream about my mom and some unresolved issues. Not nearly as enlightening as I hoped but I do have some things to think about. Mainly I'm wondering if I was taken to another place or if this stuff brings up things from your subconscious mind and makes you hallucinate (or dream) while you're awake?? and I cant help but wonder if there is any truth to this sense i still have as if these objects around me are alive and i should pay them more respect and take care of them.

@Hunter Arrington So you're saying that salvia is basically not going to take me too far (as I suspected) but it's still useful to see through the ego?

Thanks Leo. I started doing self inquiry only recently. I will try to put more time into it

@Emerald Wilkins I see through my bullshit I'm just still stuck in the matrix at the same time I understand what you mean though

I mean stupid attraction where youre attracted to someone that you know is bad for you.

Is there any value to having a clear set of morals? And do we really follow them? Even someone who has strong morals goes against them when put in a situation where he has to follow his feelings vs following his morals and sometimes there are conflicting morals or feelings. So what do you think? Does an actualized person have morals? does he always follow them or does he leave wiggle room? Besides that, why do morals really exist? Not in society but for individuals, is it just an ego thing that the ego wants to be "good"?

I can't get my hands on any psychedelics but I'm dying to experiment with them. Is there a way to self induce an experience like this? I have heard about holotropic breathwork where you breath in a certain way to induce a psychedelic experience however I cannot find enough information to do this on my own. I also looked up some legal substances that have psychedelic properties but apparently not enough or not the type of experience I'd want to have the first time. There must be a way to do this, the mind is such a powerful tool. If you can make this happen with your breath alone, if we can astral travel and things like that then there must be a way. I have had some weird experiences while setting an intention to see and hear things that I normally cant and then going into a deep meditative state so I'm sure this is possible although I'm not sure if I'm reaching for something too high but I figured it's worth asking.

@Martin123 I have come across this link before, they don't explain exactly how to do this. I understand that I need to breath in and out with the stops but it doesnt seem like enough to induce anything

@dice I dont know about chronic fatigue syndrome but I've had trouble with low energy myself. It was mostly due to a poor diet. How much did you clean up your diet? cutting out junk is good but do you eat a lot of healthy foods that raise your energy as well? From my experience adding the right foods helps.

I'm gonna try it too

Possibly. So you would have to go out of the mind to perceive anything else

I was reading about this concept in Buddhism that there is no soul because there is no self. I get the no self concept in the physical world but they say there cant even be a soul because thats a self too..we are really all one the separation is an illusion. I get that but then how can they claim there is reincarnation and rebirth at the same time? Are they saying that rebirth is just a natural process that will be experienced by some random spec of consciousness? Who ever is being reborn, is that not you? will it not be your own consciousness that is experiencing a new form of life?

It's such a fascinating topic I always wondered why can I only perceive myself and why this self specifically on some level it seems like there must be more to it

@Azrael How do you meditate on that? I thought I'm not supposed to purposefully think while meditating. Also whats your perspective on how perspective evolves throughout this cycle? or is it just consciousness that evolves and gets thrown into random new perspectives that in the big picture don't matter what form or perspective it takes just your level of awareness?

@Deep Yea I read about that, I find it hard to take that as evidence but still interesting study

@Guivs I'll try to do that. Thinking about it gets me frustrated anyway

Thats an interesting way to look at it. So much stuff on this post to think about