mememe

@Jenkins no tips and tricks - it’s cool. what you can do though, is shifting the mood if you realize you are in friend mood. you just need to keep it interesting and in balance, i doubt that helping women with self actualization is a barrier to whatever is going on between you. if you want to keep it going you will sooner or later get to the question if it’s transforming into a relationship, so it’s not about you caring or not, it’s just that a non relationship goes on for 3months at max, that’s it. (with the exception of some encounters where you have long platonic phases inbetween because you just don’t see them frequently - no guarantee for these are staying on off, no contract) its difficult to bring it to three months at all without caring. these women will have positive memories with you. don’t think too much about it, emotions are great. (by the way, don’t you profit from them, too? don’t get cheap, please!)

because the buddha was still with the gods was in the dao, while jesus was against them and against him and therefore not in the dao.

@wildflower buddhism won‘t save you from ignorance. forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing. if anything it is only a link to what is initially yours and what you yourself will make of it. (like in christianity you need to face that not everyone understands the concept of compassion, they just take what they need) asking if we all have been born to the same time is the same as asking if we have all been born to the same mother. ?

why do you get upset? you are kind of rude against the perspectives others give to you. its probably not that all your perspectives are false, it’s just that you try to preach your truth despite truth being multi perspectival. at least regarding a metaphisical worldview. the perspective you describe describes the world from a very traditional western/judeochristian god-perception/worldview in which god is an almighty entity up in the clouds.

no sorry, i don’t take on this identification, if you want to, be free to live out your perversions. its overidentification which made people follow him. he was not loved as the antichrist not at all (this is a more modern hype around him) - they thought he was doing good.

i don’t think his paintings are extraordinary. so why would it make such a difference not even once looking at them? maybe except for some of the motive choices, looks a bit like pictures from romanticism, (oh it’s a booklyn painting) bit outdated for his time. art is art does not count for his acceptance of all art as equal. i wouldn’t say what he did to the canvas was bad, i wouldn’t make the canvas a victim - what i don’t count as art is his more dimensional “work” because it’s a psychopathic horror storry not written in books but into people. hitler doesn’t count as human. he was like the incarnation of the antichrist. which is why there is still a cult around him - but in reality he was not much special.

oh amazing - why not? is it a bad technique? i just fell in love with the name. i guess i understand that kill bill joke just now.

@ValiantSalvatore in most of asia eating alone is seen as toxic. in some countries more than others. i thought more for the reason of spending time together. if you make it a rule to not eat any meal alone you are pressured to socialize much more. its oftentimes just a reason to spend randomly time together without any other reason than that, if there is shared interest good, if not, no reason to extend it beyond sharing food. i didn’t mean foody people as a label for food lovers, i meant it as creating an event where you meet randomly people + food benefits. its a practice to get more extroverted. but i can understand if it is not your thing with the wrong people. in general it’s difficult to meet others without reasons, isn’t it? its also difficult to do stuff outside without a reason or purpose, especially without consuming anything.

@Yarco thank you! i’ll try to get more factual about it. and will look into my processes regarding that stuff - to make it more efficient. most definitely that stuff usually gets handled as business as usual. but it’s kind of weird i always feel pressured with it, it doesn’t feel natural and i oftentimes push communication to the limit of deadlines. its exactly the 90% rule why it never felt comfy, i can’t relax if i don’t find a more natural attitude to it. i don’t have a very money driven business at the moment and still am in the process of creating it. people suffer with a lot of weird stuff, like social anxiety and procrastination, we are expected to function though in all circumstances - it’s not like that, people can be like god in medicine but totally helpless with business. i’ve seen different people handling their “administration” tasks badly and with discomfort sometimes pushing it on others all my life. i feel bad if i have to outsource so much without understanding it to some extend. i might be a bit obsessed with needing to know how systems work i interact with to not feel out of control, i don’t like only handling the task i’m interested in the phenomenon.

when i started with consuming actualized.org a few years ago, i was on search for help in structuring and organizing my life into one with a successful creative business. but soon got lost in the entertainment factor, problems of others, political concernes, own family issues, and neglected dreams, unfullfilled hope for the future and soon lost track of my purpose. which was it again? sure i learned a lot of stuff i thought was interesting for a profound understanding of the world as it is. but in some sense i‘m back at zero - zero measurable development in sense of business development. partially because of avoidance strategies regarding all the financial aspects of a business, creativity aside. hopes, when i bought the life purpose course were going in the direction of getting into a dynamic which would transport my ideas towards a successful business. although i stopped doing it when my ideas started to loose ground/solid foundation. what i‘m most missing out on is a structure to take creativity and business as such equally serious and spend time enjoying all aspects of what i could offer to a market if i would structure myself into a working machine for serious. how do you guys do it? in how many sections would you structure a functioning business, while not being able to successfully avoid any of it as foundational? did your expectations regarding business take the right track or did you get lost in a labyrinth? if you are creative or more science driven, how do you hold it with the black box of finances and marketing and generally the contact to material success if that’s already an avoidance shaddow? or a bit more concrete, how do you get a hold of the less approachable walls, how do you get a grip on that surface, build motivation to get a hold on these topics? a bit like: how to start striving again if you almost can’t remember how that felt like?

@ValiantSalvatore you also have non-pick-up friends? meditation friends for example? yoga friends or IT friends? or just friends for nothing but talking? i don’t really see the purpose in purpose friends maybe foody friends, you meet once a week regularly for dinner? just to cook, talk and so on or skip the cooking for time reasons, not for process reasons. (doesn’t need to be the gourmet type of foody friends, but yet interested in spending quality time)

@ValiantSalvatore you say you ignore positive feedback sometimes. how could you appreciate positive feedback more? regardless of how good your work is? i sometimes realize how if i would put in effort i could create things others dream about buying/owning and how amazing that skill is - but i have a creative blockade because of overconsumption, i can’t find reasons why it should be better than what others construct. its totally bullshit and a lot of people would be amazed by small stuff i do. somehow i always feel it’s not good enough. this is very deep rooted in childhood and a parent who never gave much words of appreciation. its totaly strange because the other parent gave plenty, you’d think it would be enough for two.

so, i tried it and it worked out for exactly two days to be my own secretary. and now all the stuff i have to do is piling up on my desk again. how to take this seriously, any tips on how to do this stuff, without skipping out? any ideas if there are online programs which train on secretary tasks? i‘ll probably ask the same question in the future for other business departments. here is a career guide on what are the duties in a secretary job, although it doesn’t mean i can be one from one day to the other. its only a job description i can try to memecry myself into, but it’s not a substitute for what people learn in a vocational education. https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/secretary-duties anyone with the same problem? anyone interested in productive/constructive self actualization? or someone with solutions, tips?

in addition i wanted to say i also sometimes skip out on or even miss out on good constructive negative feedback, like case relevant feedback at all (which maybe sometimes limits my development) i am sure negative feedback is the same important as positive feedback if analysed for productive/constructive/deconstructive outcome, i mean any form of change in direction of better processes probably can be used in a constructive way. in some sense constructive feedback processes are in my opinion system relevant for positive outcome in all regards.

@ValiantSalvatore would you say it’s very close to this? where would you say is your cycle going different? (i‘m just taking up your input) i mean for me it often does not get to positive feedback at all, it stops with relief - it’s a clear sign i‘m not in a constructive working environment, it’s not a deconstructing environment but a destructive one. you could also say the effect of not getting positive feedback is the same as ignoring it or pushing it away - it’s like skipping the whole reward thing which automatically leads to self-doubt/lack of motivation which i would have to put between self-doubt and starting a new project. so might be i‘m projecting a bit, so you‘d need to figure out where it’s going different for you. thanks by the way - you see people often take only what they think they need. it is not automatically rewarding.

yes, impacting sometimes means overstepping their boundaries. its a sensitive field. because probably people get impacted…a bit. i see this with getting more sustainable for example, the first impact if i start exposing myself or someone else exposes me to a sustainability topic i can get very excitet, but i will be weak on the routine for it, if i don’t constantly expose myself, for a real change of behavior or full understanding i take sometimes years. i change my shopping behavior in the grocery store for example but not for the online shopping. its tough. always have to take it up again, and there is many of these topics. i don’t know how you are impacting people to change, but i guess i can sense it’s not always rewarding (also in an uncorrupted way). the meditation you‘d need to implement that as a routine - some might change after half a year some after a year and some never. but all would def profit from it, even if they are acting in the beginning. its not directly their choice so a lot of people show the same behavior than regarding school sports, probably. (i never saw how unrewarding the job of a teacher must be, until the moment i wanted to teach „something“)

i can relate to that, and this is a tough one. i had a life purpose on solving problems - although we live in a time where people sometimes rather find their own way or go their used way, than a good way, it’s a totally weird phenomenon. and i‘m the same i also tried to find my own way, with the difference that i wanted others to change, and i probably had impacts i saw as little after a while, or not apreciated, not many people need others anymore, not many people can give up a bit of control or apreciate. we are just loosing these things. or maybe they never existed really, maybe a lot of work has always resulted in minimal change, true openmindedness is rare, but it’s not impossible - maybe you really need to refocus your lifepurpose a bit and align it with a more realistic goal, regarding your circle of impact? you see its also difficult to change oneself, it’s super difficult. best way is probably partially only helping people who really ask you directly for it (or even pay for it). for work-life balance you really need to find more open minded people then you can’t skip that part for change probably.

sounds good! if you grow, sometimes your sourounding has to grow with you, or you grow it out and find a new environment. you can also ofc find a balance in friends who appreciate that stuff and talk to them about what you are doing, so you would at least gain some appreciation with people who share the same ideas or also give you new input. good luck! something fresh or a bit of change is always good for new spirit.

that‘s gold - especially if you are in the club scene, female friends know the do‘s and don’ts and you also will start to feel natural around girls. if that’s no option, gay friends, might be cliché but you have to talk more definitely and start to communicate more eloquently and often meet very interesting perspectives and opinions with them. and regarding enjoying dancing more anyways - you can’t ruin anyones night out then, if they loose interest you just go on dancing and if they want they find a way to talk to you again.

change the workplace. i mean if you want to feel more passionate about it you‘d rather change outer circumstances- find a better working environment with people who love the process more.

most definitely it does only appear in humans with hurt feelings. cornered, neglected egos and souls bite, blindly sometimes. if you search deeply inside it’s often the soft spot of disappointment even if it’s a lack from the start and a not knowing what’s missing, from an perspective of not even expecting, which is deteriorating human self-esteem slowly to be not different than a wild wounded animal. why do you think, there is a saying: love heals all wounds? - they must have been made by the opposite. which is not exactly hate, cruelty maybe, it can be, but it’s also neglect and lack of care, sometimes lack of self-care, encapsulation, dissociation. its human made not nature made, nature always contains an antidote. i’d always start with that, if possible.

yes no yes no yes only if you know where to no (dominance is sth training on it is not worth it) you can be more assertive or try to have more self esteem but don’t really waste your time on dominance except you need to live a fetish you already have on that. if you are into it, better not try on people who are not into that stuff, discern between fetish and abuse. no (if you are into bdsm, it’s actually getting criminal) yes maybe no (don’t waste your time on war movies, better watch historical inspired stuff, middleages is good for red understanding, but don’t waste your time on stupid battle for fictive or patriotic reasons) yes, and please do the yes part, too. “i will do it” is also red energy. i‘m better than you is also red energy (can you take it?) - just joking no only if you have had problems addressing anger before. i like that you are taking up the topic, although many of the stuff you listed is toxic red. healthy red energy in child development is just developing a strong ego/selfesteem - which is why it is one of the problem stages. although it also means developing an ego in a social context (knowing when to not be red, or take back the ego). generosity for example is a very red emotion. you could develop on that or develop the ability to fall in love painfully and consuming, that’s also red. puting yourself in scene is red, dressing up for example. becoming a bit vain, in your choices is red. (for example with how bdsm you lable masculinity ;D half of the show here in reality, you probably only ever meet in the darkroom, if you ever go there).

cooking, household chores and basics in fixing stuff - some practical aspects are helpful throughout life.

i wouldn’t say spirituality is counterproductive to a lifestyle as a dj but it’s a different form of spirituality - why does it have to be unspiritual to make a crowd dance in extasis (if you meet the right crowd…) why do you even ask this? you also know that dj‘s usually don’t have loads and loads of muscles but are if they have muscles well defined, do you? or is it about the drugs and the impact on environment? if you keep it a bit more minimal you don’t need an own atomic plant for the light show. or maybe in general temptations? if you do this, hope you become a really spiritual dj which means equivalent to amazing and inspiring artist.

whatever you do, if you decide on building constant routines or decide to do it with breaks, make sure that you‘ll be constantly picking it up again. motivation curve can flatten over time and you usually stop at a moment when motivation is low, so maybe on the resting days you alternate with another routine you pick for that day. at least the routine of habit tracking would be a good everyday practice.