Michiryoku

I had an enlightenment experience while I was sleeping last night. 1. I realized I am nothing more but a random program / a random person in this world. 2. My goals are nothing special and have no inherent value, they are somewhat random. 3. I feel less attached to this soul of mine as I know it is random and it is NOT me

I started meditating 20 minutes a day 3 days ago as well as 20 minutes of awareness of the 3 senses according to leo

Hi After taking a high 300 Microgram LSD dose for the first time (alone) after which I had a bad trip for 2 hours, I have been suffering from panic attacks, OCD thoughts, Depersonalization, existential depression and flashbacks from bad memories like horror movies I watched and the suffering involved etc.. Because of this I have been in a mental hospital for the last 2 months and am now back at home and still visiting it 5 days a week, started taking antidepressants mirtacapine and escitalopram 3 weeks ago, stopped taking Benzos 4 weeks ago. I have developed serious doubt of the goodness of reality and have even sometimes become sceptical of the goodness of being. I often have bad beliefs like "how can there be good if its all just a zero sum game?". I often feel like something is missing in my experience not feeling real etc. feeling dissociated. I feel like stuff isn't as real as before and joy feels fake. My goals seem fake and it seems pointless. My goals have lost their emotionness. I feel like I am just projecting on the world and that I don't really know what is and this scares me. This happened during the LSD trip. I have been taking many measures to combat this like. Behavior: -Cold Showers (Since yesterday) -Jogging 11 minutes a day -Sprinting 20 seconds a day -Meditating or at least trying 3 times a day for 5 minutes each -Going to church every sunday Nutrititon: -Keto diet (often breaking it though) -Intermittent fasting (often breaking it though) -Vitamin Supplements (every Vitamin especially Vitamine D and C and Bs) -Taurine -Ashwagandha -CBD Oil -Drinking Lemon Balm tea -Drinking Apple Cider Vinegar -Eating Salad every day -Taking Potassium supplements Currently I am wondering if I should try Ketamine to combat this depression and existential dread and feeling like suffering is all there is due to feeling nihilistic. Please suggest more usefull nootropics or practical tipps. I would be greatfull.

I wont stop the cold showers because they make me feel very calm at night. Im doing brain stimulatuion as well as taking 2 antidepressants for 3 weeks nlw that i took for a few years before. I also am now taking an antipsychotic since today which i think is good since i often have visions of nasty stuff that annoy me and also a bit of paranoia thoughts mixed in. The internal family system seems interesting. I will look into all the therapy methods.

The internal family system seems interesting. I will look into all the therapy methods.

thanks any tipps will be followed through. I will also watch leos video on depression.

As well as using the Flow headset stimulation which combats depression and anxiety.

SPOILER ALERT for Naruto Classic and for Naruto Shippuden (episode 1 - episode 60) []-part of ()-description ?-im only 50% sure about my claim Keep in mind this is just for fun. If you have anything to add comment and i will edit my post. Esspecially on characters where i'm only 50% sure about my claim. Stage Purple: Uchiha Clan (deceased) (makes sense since Itachi was stage red and so they despised each other leading in Itachi killing the clan) Hyuuga Clan (organisation) Hiashi Hyuuga [Hyuuga Clan & Hidden Village of the Leafs] Stage Red: Akatsuki (organisation) (world conquest yadiyada) (enjoying torture) Hidan [Akatsuki] (probably 90% stage red, almost the definition of stage red) Kisame [Akatsuki](probably 90% stage red, almost the definition of stage red) Itachi? (he killed his own family) [Akatsuki] Sasori [Akatsuki] Deidara? [Akatsuki] Orochimaru Sasuke (after joining Orochimaru) [Orochimaru] Kabuto [Orochimaru] Hidden Village of the Sound [Orochimaru] Gaara [Hidden Village of the Sand] (probably 90% stage red, almost the definition of stage red) (only until the end of Naruto Classic) (talking about his life purpose being to kill everyone) Hidden Village Of The Mist (organisation) (only before the reform (used to make their young shinobi kill each other as a last step to become a higher level shinobi)) bandit tribes/villages (organisation) Stage Blue: Anbu (organisation) Sai [Anbu] Hidden Village of the Sand (organisation) Gaara? [Hidden Village of the Sand] (after having insight) Kankurou? [Gaara & Hidden Village of the Sand] Temari? [Gaara & Hidden Village of the Sand] Chiyo [Hidden Village of the Sand] Stage Orange: Sasuke [Hidden Village of the Leafs] (before joining Orochimaru) Naruto [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Sakura [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Rock Lee [Hidden village of the Leafs] Stage Green: Hidden Village Of The Leafs? (organisation) Hinata [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Shikamaru? [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Asuma Sarutobi? [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Iruka Umino [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Kakashi? [Hidden Village of the Leafs] Stage Yellow: Hokage Sarutobi? [Hidden Village of the Leafs] (deceased)

Itachi is stage blue or stage green since he tried to preserve peace.Poeple that were exposed to malevolence tend to be stage red.

I am not in a higher state of conciousnous while doing this! Sometimes I think about my life from a 3rd perspective of conciousnous. I ask "This is whats happening right now" followed by "This is reality" followed by "What am I?" "So this is whats happening right now??" while looking at my hands . The tention keeps getting higher until I scream or hit something. I cant grasp that this is reality and happening. I fel powerless and lost while doing this. Realizing that i can't grasp what is happening right now. This happens only when im alone in my room.

Does that emotional scale apply to every aspect of life and is a fixed order?

I ask myself where am I? Seeing and living as a human is happening right now BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS COMING FROM (my body becomes heavy and a large burden is on me). I build a distance to myself like something exists out of reality. Terror follows realizing that "this is everything that is" "this is everything that is" "this is everything that is". I become terrified and I feel powerless before the realization that this moment is indeed happening and that this is consciousness. I can't fathom the fact that consciousness is happening in consciousness. This happens to me without psychadellics. However I go into this cycle voluntarily as I'm curious, until I experience extreme negative emotion. Afterwards I just distract myself with my life.

This fake news needs to get taken down as actualized.org is no place for conspiracy theories

This happens to me without psychadellics. However I go into this cycle voluntarily as I'm curious, until I experience extreme negative emotion. Afterwards I just distract myself with my life.

I live in Berlin. Sadly i have to take anti depressants that block psychadelics

Stage blue is very prevelant in Attack on Titan. However in the final season Eren seems to be growing into stage red. How is this possible? Isn't it imposible to regress? Did power corrupt him? Not only is he growing into stage red but he is also acting more and more evil, esspecialy in stage red. (his attack on Liberio in which he accepts massive civilian losses) (wanting to be the leader without anyone over him) (his plans to euthenize all of Paradis putting himself over other people) Meanwhile people following him also regress into stage red / stage blue depending on why (calling him a god) -> (he would be a brutal god coinciding with stage red) I'm very interested to hear your oppinions on this, maybe i missed something.

@Michiryoku Nagato (Pain?) [Akatsuki] added to Stage purple with some aspects in blue and green.

Who says that?

Thats kinda obvious, but now youre being insultive as well

He can't handle stage red people i guess. When i see homophobes and racists i just think to myself they have so much more to grow and mature lol.

just his oppinion i mean he didnt insult anybody so...

Shigaraki is a weak villain imo, Naruto has much better villains like orochimaru. Orochimaru is my favorite villain by far. I also like Kabuto

It's not my favorite but one of my faviroutes. My faviourite is AoT and after that Naruto

I've heard that enlightenment feels like waking up from a dream. I'm scared that my life will loose meaning once I become enlightened once. I feel like my goals will become meaningless just like my dreams I have in life. Can anyone help me out on this one because I realy want to become enlightened but I dont want to loose meaning in my life.

The part where I become god and I realize something other people dont know about. Just a typical stage red/orange/green person