michaelcycle00

Try harder how? I resonate with the integrity part as well and how it tends to leave one sexless but honestly now that I have come to think of it, "sexual integrity" (if we wanna call it that) from a male POV is literally useless and a stupid thing to abide by. I've always been respectful and nice (not overly nice though) towards everyone, girls included. And that's it. You're just "a nice guy". I've had many girl friends in my life that I've been nice to, and some that I've liked romantically as well. I'm chill, funny, witty. I certainly have more good attributes than bad when it comes to being either a friend or a partner. Guess what I'm not and have never been towards the opposite sex though? Intense, selfish, opportunistic, bluntly direct. And that's just left me a single, 22 y/o virgin. Now, the funny part is, these girls I liked and was nice towards, were all eventually taken by a guy who was intense, selfish, opportunistic, and bluntly direct. This guy would date them, fuck them, leave them an emotional mess, whatever. Literally all of them without fail. He got what he wanted and made an actual lasting impression on them, other than just "he's a nice guy". See where I'm going with this? While we're playing the respectful type always remaining in the background somebody else isn't and he's the one winning. Girls fall for them all the time anyway. Might as well be me then. I'm done hiding my sexual impulses, and the OP shouldn't either. Heck, we don't even have to get too far from home. You, for example, were ready to fall for this handsome Instagram mini-influencer who messaged you and I can guarantee, is messaging many other girls as well. But you decided to overlook this and give him a chance (although I believe he didn't message you back, correct?), despite saying that you want this amazingly deep, spiritual relationship and whatnot, yet deep down you know it had high chances of being a flop. Now the reason I say this is because that guy is a good example of someone who is 99% likely to be fucking many girls, not actually looking for anything serious, and they all flock towards him despite saying they want respect, equality, and all kinds of things. But tbh I know that women just say this for plausible deniability and their real intentions aren't really what they say they are.

You're asking the wrong guy. Leo doesn't really believe in that.

You know, Law of Assumption, Manifestation (whatever you wanna call it), a few of my experiences and also a humongous amount of success stories that I've read have made me really consider that it's genuinely all just my POV. Like I'm 90% sure of it at this point. All of Infinity collapsed into my POV and the reason I found out about this forum and LOA is so I can slowly wake up to my true nature as the all-powerful. Seriously, if you'd read some of the success stories I have... let's just say they're on par with fantasy movies, and above science fiction, but yet, it's "reality". Now, the usual success stories you read on the most common forums like the Neville Goddard one on Reddit are pretty normal, still impressive, but you still get a feel of "I have more control than I think", rather than "all of reality is just me, playing a story that in which I deceive myself with all sorts of things, but in actuality, I'm God, and could literally spawn a nuclear bomb, teleport to another country, drop it there and teleport back to my house right now". Like, when people manifest a romantic partner that initially didn't want anything do with them, or a person changing completely out of nowhere just because they decided to assume it was the case, does not make sense. Like they literally break the logical consistency of the dream. I mean, when you're over 30, it's really hard to change who you are even when you really want to, let alone just because someone else willed you to change and you hadn't a clue. Now, this completely make sense when everyone else is just a very elaborate projection, so whatever you will on them will come to pass because again, they're just like a very advance hologram, rather than a sentient human with a POV as you believe yourself to be. Another example of this is that Hawaian Doctor Hew Lew who literally healed patients without ever interacting with them just by saying "I forgive you to their pictures". See where I'm going? The fact that there's no logical consistency just breaks the dream apart and you realize there wasn't, isn't or will be anybody else, ever. Now perhaps I've given myself enough cues at this point but I feel like my subconscious is blocking me from actually realizing this and going "OH MY GOD, IT'S ALL JUST ME!". Anyway, at this point I can just hope there's actually someone on the other end reading this.

Seriously though, what could she possibly be curious about regarding other men? *Wink wink* If she had a Koenigsegg Agera RS1 she wouldn't be interested in some second-hand Lamborghini Gallardo. She isn't satisfied with you. For what reason, I don't know. Too many people in this thread are approving of her behavior which astounds me honestly. Think about it: the best-case scenario is you let her go, she rides 5 guys and decides to come back to you. You accept her, and in the process, automatically become a cuckold. The ultimatum is your best bet; it's either you or the other guys. It's gonna be hard of course, but she made her choice long before you did. If I was happy with my girlfriend, I wouldn't have a flying thought about what other girls are like. I find it disgusting honestly, but it's the unsuppressed nature of most women. They're hard-wired to see potential mates as providers. "What can you offer ME?", "What do I get from YOU?" is more or less from where they see things when it comes to partners and the other way around is of no concern to them. So the moment someone who they perceive as better comes along, boom, you're gone. Just like that. I think your girl is trying to see if she can score someone who she sees as superior to you. Anyway, I hope you get what I'm saying sooner rather than later, so you don't waste any more time on useless endeavors. Giving a girl complete trust and freedom while in a relationship is something only a select few of them can have that won't result in problems, so vet them well.

This line of thought is too dangerous (and radical) for today's world. Try again in a couple of hundred years at best. Let's put the example of someone who ruins others' lives for his benefit. Let's say he ruins my career (think Dave Harken from Horrible Bosses) and I notice that, if he was no longer in this world, my life would be back in order. I could easily pay a hitman to get rid of him and leave no trace. Based on this, you shouldn't judge me, because all I did was protect my career no? And this is a very light situation compared to others that happen in today's age.

Does any other dude out there feel like this? I may have low self-esteem (well, not exactly, but I'm weird like that) in regards to socialization and how others perceive me, but also I almost always look at things objectively, and the "dating game" doesn't seem natural to me, doesn't seem genuine. As in being an act of pure love. I feel like the kind of man women want/are looking for is just so different from me. Like I don't deserve to be loved by someone else because there are much better options out there. I feel exactly like if any girl was interested in me romantically they'd pretty much be settling because they don't think they can get something better, and I don't want anyone to "settle" with me, so I decided to avoid dating/romanticism or anything of the sort (I rather this over being settled with). Objectively speaking, I'm pretty sure this is the case. I'm not Caucasian, so as you can imagine I'm not conventionally attractive. I'm 1.82m tall, just a cm shy of 6 foot so I got that going for me (also, since I'm a Mexican, that's like being 6'1" in the U.S.). I was also diagnosed as intellectually gifted when I was a little boy (started talking when I was 8 months old, which prompted my parents into being evaluated in regards to that, also that I was called "the baby who speaks like an adult, despite being slightly over a year old... yeah no kidding). I think personality-wise I have a pretty fun and caring one, the thing is I'm extremely introverted so there's rarely anyone who sees it shine in full splendor. Added to that is the fact that despite being 22 years old, I look like I'm 15-16 (every stranger guesses me at that, I always ask) because my face sorta hasn't really matured into an adult-like one (baby face) and I inherited the skinniest genes in the world. Literally. I have skinnier arms than Timothée Chalamet. I've exercised at the gym for months on end and eaten a lot with it too and they don't get any bigger. My metabolism is too fast I suppose, but I do have thin bones. Now, this is a bit controversial and I don't mean to offend anyone with what I'm about to say. I usually am attracted to girls of fair skin with brown hair. I don't consciously choose who I'm attracted to, I just am. And I would say that that is my type, although blondes don't fall that far behind. The thing is, I'm light brown myself. And, I, biologically speaking, could say that I feel inferior to them. To any decent-looking white girl that is. Think about it, literally every race, in general (male-wise), is more attracted to white women than any other type/race. This is a fact. I think it's safe to conclude that they are better partners evolutionary speaking. Sure I could play hot-shit and act like I'm unbothered by pretty women and seduce them or whatever but I feel this isn't ethical. At least online, they all like to tell guys the standards they hold for themselves and want in their partner. You know, the usual around girls under 30 years of age: blonde, 6ft2+, straight hair, perfectly symmetrical face, light eyes, big pockets, muscular, brave, can fight, confident, etc. Hard not to feel some sort of insecurity when you don't match even half of what they expect. Knowing this (and oh boy do I know about it), how am I supposed to act on my impulses of wanting a girlfriend and approaching girls I like when they're all actually craving much better options than what I could offer them. Which is to say on the outside of course, because I can definitely put up a good fight if the inside counted, to say something. A few weeks ago I went to San Francisco with my family for vacation, we spent a few days there. Saw a lot of beautiful women. Also saw a good amount of them with the classic chad-like dude. Seeing stuff like that made me think that I should just not even consider shooting my shot. Women like them being with a guy like me seem like I would be robbing them of their biological and social superiority. Of their potential. Every time I get a pretty girl who is constantly looking at me for seconds on end, which happens an awful lot (could I be that repulsive?), not just with pretty girls but any girl (and even dudes, everyone really), I always turn the other way and start getting annoyed. I can't fucking stand it... seriously, what the fuck are y'all looking at? No matter where I go, everyone around me makes sure I feel like the center of the Universe, but not in a good way. It's like my awkward vibe is felt by the entire room because a whole group of people can be on their shit but as soon as I'm near, say sitting on a table, they can't help but constantly be looking at me. I don't utter a word, I don't look at them, I try to stand straight. I can be focused on my shit, and as soon as I turn my head there are eyes on me. I don't even have to look at these people directly to tell that they're looking at me. Seriously, it's like these weirdos have never seen a skinny, young-looking guy on his phone? Anyway, as I was saying about girls who are considered high "SMV", maybe I actually just do not deserve them for being born as who and what I am and it is what it is. I just wish I could then choose who I'm attracted to, so it wouldn't be so painful. And I wouldn't have to cope by being utterly lonely. PD. I'm not trying to seem or sound like an incel, nor am I trying to blame women for my issues. If my wording or point of view shocks you, I present to you what the mind of a very rational and logic-bound individual is like.

Post whatever it is you’re aware of in the wrong forum (like the Dating one) he’ll be forced to open it in order to move it to where it belongs lmao. Unless a mod beats him to it.

He’s from India lol

Well, I'm not sure. But how ethical is this man? How can I respect women and also game them? There's no middle ground there. I don't wanna be a bad person, or in this case, opportunistic. How am I supposed to find peace there? You probably wouldn't like your sister (assuming you had one) involved in a threesome with that 5'4" black dude.

Halle Berry is literally half white. Tyra Banks is also part British and Native American, but I will agree she is stunning. Jlo, is also part white. But anyway, all the others you mentioned are also in part white or exceptions to the norm. The general rule of thumb for women is that the fairer the skin the better.

@Leo Gura Leo, did you read all of it? Forget about the who's attracted to who more part. I read that from what I think was an article regarding what type of women were the most desired on porn sites. On dating sites, it's Asian women, yeah. Anyway, that wasn't the point. And how is biology a limiting belief? Really, do you not think women would be better off with a good-looking white male, than some skinny, weird-looking Mexican or say a black man? Not even black women are too fond of black men nowadays because of the whole hood mentality that keeps creating single mothers.

Isn't this mind supposedly omnipotent though? What if it wanted the world to actually be physical instead of just seeming to be... could it do this or not? If not, wouldn't this make it non-omnipotent? Lol.

Bin-fucking-go mate. Perfectly put, Vincent.

And you think you will by reducing yourself and others to wild animals that are desperately fighting for survival? What do you mean by "self-actualize"? It seems to me that you're contradicting yourself here but perhaps you can clear things up. If you're just venting, I'd advise learning how to be assertive. You don't need to be a piece of shit towards others (most of them at least) in order to make yourself clear.

Is this something you intellectualized and turned into a belief like @Someone here or how exactly did you awaken?

But if what you are is infinite how could you ever reach a point where you know everything about yourself if it's never-ending? Infinity cannot be a sum total you "eventually" reach as you put it.

Yes, I'm reading this and having an experience as well. I don't know man, Leo's probably just not the best with words. Or is just trying to tell us that everyone is us (or simply one) because your and my mind is the same mind since our egos and their 5 senses are imaginary. But it does leave many unanswered questions, at least for me. It does make sense though, take a "human's" ego away and there's just the experience that exists, it wouldn't be different than a rock or a chair or a grain of sand.

I'm happy for you. Sounds like a beautiful experience. With that said: If that's what you realized then why come post it on a forum like there are actually people out there who are gonna read this and then give you an answer? This, ironically, is making me think that I am the only one who's having an experience and you're a projection of my mind leaving me breadcrumbs so I can realize it. But then again, I'm not sure. I've read many trip reports and some people have also said this. This part too, but, it doesn't make sense to me. Why not just wake you up in a more gentle and blissful way? To be honest some of these insights people seem to get from psychs give me a "parent that has repeatedly fucked up trying to excuse themselves instead of owning their mistakes" vibe.

LOL. First time I heard something like this. Seems more like the perfect way to make Infinity pulverize your entire existence. Everyone else that's taken 5-MEO has repeatedly told me you should leave it be for a few months after every breakthrough trip. Man how can Infinity supposedly revolve around me but then also revolve around you and your girlfriend, and all the other 7.9 billion mfers on earth? What if I raise my awareness and get conscious enough to control you guys but then what happens if you also get conscious enough to control me (like through "manifestation" for example) at the same time, does it become a competition between who is the more conscious one out of the 2?

Awesome report mate. Tell me more of what you learned about manifestation; and also, why do some parts of your report have a very solipsistic vibe to them? Like imagining a girl riding you or saying that reality is a mirror. So I'm also a mirror to other people? Cause I doubt it...

I think an answer to this would solve the whole solipsism deal. I'm referring to the subject (ego) - object solipsism of course. The one where only your ego and what the 5 senses decode exist. I'm having a hard time interpreting how linear time suscitates within no-time (the state of the absolute). Like how is it that I'm currently experiencing a certain human character's lifetime and what that says about "others". Isn't it a paradox? Wouldn't every life need to repeat itself "forever"? Like right now I'm of a certain age and whatever happened "years ago" and pretty much at every instant needs to be happening NOW, again and again, ad infinitum. So even Jesus' crucifixion, assuming it happened, needs to be happening right now, and then again, and then again, at every instant.

@Atb210201 been in a similar position. I can almost guarantee your problem has to do with you being too much on your electronics and not socializing enough IRL. Being straightforward/drawing the line should never be a problem for someone who knows how to talk to others be a guy or a girl. Also, the fact that you broke it off because you saw it as an opportunity to get your pp wet tells me this is not a normal occurrence for you (since you can't control your sexual impulses). Also, 6 months before you decide to meet? Were you leading her on? I know a guy who did exactly this to an ex-female friend of mine (back when I used to have online friends) just to have sex with her. Your solution, even though you might not like it, is to go out and befriend girls IRL. Eventually, you'll find one you like and you'll both know much sooner than 6 months (lol) if you're vibing with each other or not. Good luck!

How does “fuck it’s just imagination” help your case though? Isn’t your co-worker still there disliking you? Like it still actually exists it’s just that the whole thing is sustained and made out of nothingness I guess primarily you could say.

@integration journey Please share the full story and all the insights you received.

Try to lift your car with your bare hands. There's your answer