Spooney Spoonerson

As a member of Hustler’s university and a follower of Andrew Tate for 2+ years I see a lot of confusion over the man himself, his philosophy, life and business endeavours. I wanted to shed some light on where people seem to be misinterpreting his message and morals. I first followed his youtube channels when he had around 10k followers give or take on each and have seen maybe a couple of hundred hours of his content, interviews and classes over the years. Over the course of which, I’ve pieced together a more comprehensive picture of his life and personality than most who’ve encountered him. Some of the most common accusations I hear are below. I think there’s a large gap between what these accusations are and the picture I have garnered from a good deal of research or ‘brainwashing’ as some might call it. Still, I ask that you temporarily set aside whatever assumptions you may have already made about me and question the possibility there’s more to him than you are currently aware of. 1. Hustler’s university is a pyramid scheme. There was an affiliate marketing program in Hustler’s university that began a few months after I joined in January 2021. It finished a few months previous to my posting this. I can’t remember the exact dates. I was never really interested in taking it prefferring to focus on the freelancing and copywriting courses. The content of the courses is amazing and very helpful. I went from having no job and living with my parents to getting a minimum wage job, moving out, building my business and quitting wage slave work to pursue my business venture full time and getting the first taste of the freedom I always wanted just as promised by Tate and the education platform’s professors. The main ethos of HU and what the course professors profess is responsibility for your life and situation, provide massive value, and basically everything Leo covers in the how to free yourself from wage slavery video. Most of them have a very strong stage orange mentality however that does present limitations to their teachings. 2. Tate views women as property/ inferior beings. I often see the accusation that men are being controlling and misogynistic when they say they don’t want to be in a serious long term relationship with a woman who goes on drunken nights out with friends/ has slept with a large number of men/ has children/ and other reasons that would generally serve the woman’s needs for the man to ignre. I couldn’t see the clip Leo posted on his blog but I’m guessing it’s the one I’ve seen making the rounds on mainstream news where Tate declares his opposition to girlfriends going out? In the full clip he is saying they can’t go out and be in a serious relationship with him. In other words they are free to do as they please but it will result in him discontinuing the relationship. Personally, I’d avoid ultimatums and just leave. Surely it’s better to be with someone who shares your values and arrived at them independently. You are also much less likely to be accused of abuse that way. I’ve also seen him say outright a woman is his property a couple of times. This did shock me. But, after a few interviews and other explanations, I take it more to be referring to the notion that when two people enter a strong relationship they should belong to each other sexually, romantically, spiritually. I’ve noticed him be very select about revealing any information that explicitly says he has multiple long term girlfriends with whom he is in love. In fact I’ve heard him say to the contrary, that he is a one woman man. Ofcourse, he has spoken many times about not maintaining sexual exclusivity but I don’t think that is so extreme. Is it not possible for a man to love and be bound to one woman for life and raise a family with her while also having fleeting sexual adventures with other women outside the home. That being said, I differ from him here too. I’d rather burn through that karma before finding the mother of my children. Also, his brother his been explicit about his multiply ‘baby mommas’ and Andrew has not to my knowledge though that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. Still, I think there’s a difference in the brothers on this point. All this is to say, I think he has a character he plays on camera but in his actual life and heart he is not as extreme as he sounds and he is aware of this with his act. I do think he is irresponsible with his messaging and inflammatory phrases though. Even if it’s just about gaining popularity to spread the message and awakening further it’s just not very loving or conscious. Then again, I think he mainly does this for comic effect and to trigger the people who virtue signal on these fronts. This does a good job of exposing the self-righteous fallacies of the woke left and in that sense is a good thing. Still not totally in favour of it personally. One more thing to mention: Women are also encouraged to take part in the positive masculinity challenges in HU, a recent addition to the course material as a community activity. Absolutely no reason to do this except to gain more favour with females and get more money. But the marketing doesn’t exactly help that image so I think it’s genuine inclusivity. 3. Tate is exploiting young men for his personal gain. HU is providing massive value and positivity to young men. Courses, community, expert guidance and relentless emphasis on being all you can be. The guidelines also strictly prohibit talking about dating, women, politics, covid and other topics you’d expect from the ‘incel’ community it’s supposed to be made up of so any comments about that are plain ignorance. It’s money and personal development only. With regard to his business ventures, from what I can piece together he got a job marketing tv ads while he was kickboxing, earnt money from it before his boss wrecked the company with a coke addiction while Tate was away kickboxing. He then started a cam girl business with two fo his girlfriends after retiring from kick boxing with no money. He grew this to a million dollar business with around 70+ women in several locations of shared accommodation around London. He moved to Romania and did business with some casino owners who sounded pretty shady/ mafia-esque but so far as I could tell he only used their franchise names to help them set up new venues to out do the competition and never used their money. His casinos were his main source of income. Now he has HU aswell but I think he gets his money from a whole variety of things. Coffee shops, casinos, trading, marketing deals and god knows what else. Human trafficking, I doubt. Honestly, I think he’s too nice of a person and hates to see people suffering. You can tell from many clips and interviews where he has no need to be kind or patient or honest or helpful with people but he is. 4. Tate is radicalising young men to hate women and view them as lesser/ inferior. He does say a lot of retarded stuff that kids in school will no doubt misuse. However, I’ve seen anyone who likes him say they like him because he’s putting women in their place. It’s always about his role inspiring people to escape wage slavery, to become fit and mentally strong, for his humour and daring. The only people who think he’s radicalising and teaching evil things seem to be people who, I can tell from watching the things they say, have not watched more than a few out of contest clips. On the whole I would say everyone I’ve ever seen say these things about him (and I’ve seen maybe a hundred) combined have not seen half the content of him that I have. You could say that just means I’m going to be completely brainwashed. After all, the subconscious mind doesn’t care what it’s given, it moulds itself around it. But I see friends (only a couple who like Tate) who take his mentality, the image, the shallow representation of masculinity too seriously and I think I’m able to mitigate that effect on myself. I don’t send people clips to try prove how great he is. Some of my friends hate him and agree with the mainstream view that he’s disgusting etc. But frankly, the arrogance and derisive manner the hateful comments are made with are embarrassing. Especially on a platform that is supposed to be of ‘higher consciousness’. People assuming guilt without a shred of evidence. The arguement “you don’t know anything about the case so how can you assume his innocence?” must go both ways. It is not for some who know very little about him and who digest only mainstream, clearly biased sources showing repeat clips of out of context highly curated content to decide who is innocent and guilty. In any case God will weigh the truth of the matter. 5. Tate gave away his location in a tweet battle with Greta T. As previously mentioned on this forum the interior of his house is recognisable to many who watch his content. Not to mention he tweeted his location in Romania with an image of a valley in Romania prior to being arrested. Also, not sure how or why he would try to hide from Romanian authorities when he flies in a private jet. To end, far too many people are making judgements and talking willy nilly about a man they have barely taken the time to know. It’s no better than gossip: carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots. This attitude also shows a complete denial of the situation at large. Namely the hatred and persecution of masculinity, male spaces and male role models. Will none of you concede any positive things about Tate and the movement he has created? Do you despise him so much that you honestly see him as no different to Hitler whom I have seen him compared to on this forum? I think there are some differences between the two. Can we please be more sensible about this whole topic and stop being so damned narrow minded, hateful and sure of ourselves?

If he had the right mentor. Perhaps someone with strong success in stage orange but with an appreciation for stage green. They'd have to exhibit stage green traits in a way that would be appealing to Andrew. Psychedelics would also be beneficial. His religious beliefs may restrict this however. He is attracting a lot of conflict in his life so maybe this will push him to awakening.

Obvious how? Because of what's in the Vice article? We know from numerous court cases where the women themselves have confessed to false claims that this isn't true. Also, I don't think you would consider someone you had only been on a couple of dates with and never had sex with your girlfriend as was the case with his rape accuser. This is a common trope I see in woke ideology. Anyone that doesn't completely align with their ideas is likened to a nazi. This is a gross conflation that dilutes the evil of such a character. I'm an hour and ten mins into your video and it's littered with inaccuracies. For instance, he started his cam girl business in London and moved it to Romania after a woman falsely accused him of assault and the subsequent raids shut down multiple locations around the city and seized all the tech necessary for the business. After combing through everything they found nothing to corroborate any human trafficking or assault charges. With regard to Hustler's University, all you had to do was pay a few bucks for a membership and look for yourself. Instead you just go ahead and categorically lie about it's content. Also, 'hustler is a term known colloquially to mean hard working and refers to someone taking the initiative. Evidenced in the popular use of the term 'side hustle'. Here's Merriam Webster's third definition for 'hustler': "An athlete who plays with alert energy and aggressiveness" You claim the video is meant to help the people who've become misled by Tate but these lies and mistakes are obvious to most followers of his content which will only alienate them further.

Joe said Tate shouldn't be saying the things he does and if he had daughters like Joe does that he thinks we would think differently. So he hasn't backed him completely. People have tried to cancel Joe as well so not that much room. Pdb took a big risk having him on his show. In any case, isn't it strange that most people who've met Tate like him, say he's a good guy and not the same on camera as he is off camera. While the people who judge his character more harshly have never met him and often haven't seen more than a few short clips of him? Definite trend there. Saying society has a lot of room for dark masculinity and using that as evidence is a bit of a stretch. There are many examples of when mainstream culture demonises anyone those who show vaguely dark masculine traits , presents them as morons in media (fictional and non-fictional characters) idiots, selfish biggots and racists. I hope he does change his messaging. I've noticed some shifts since his conversion to Islam and I hope they continue. I think what he really needs though is to smoke some weed, take some mushies and hang out with a stage green crowd. Maybe pigs will fly too, who knows but if Mike Tyson can make the character ark then who knows what's possible? For the health of an egalitarian society we have to reflect on both sides and acknowledge the clear bias society has towards hating and demonising figures like Tate and Joe Rogan. Moments like these expose that bias, the presence of which is continually denied. I often see people encouraging those of us who like Tate to reflect on our perspective and values and consider that we might be brainwashed. I rarely see those people apply the same process to their own point of view they're so comfortable in their beliefs.

How do you know she didn't ask for it? You don't know the full context of those clips. There are many reasons a woman might make these claims later on. Not saying she's a liar. We simply can't ignore the possibility there are other motivations that would cause someone to make a false allegation. Financial being the most obvious. Why are you so willing to rule out any presumption of innocence on such limited evidence and data? I would like to see an example of this. In interviews where it would be very easy for him to be plainly nasty and offensive to women he is often courteous untill they are rude first. Not just with women but anyone who disagrees with him. I can't think of any occasions in which he was first to get ad hominem and if he does it is humorous and he offers apologies after. You could say it's an act but that would contradict what you've also said about his arrogance causing him to be wreckless. If he is a dickhead and thinks he's untouchable why bother being nice ever? There are many examples of his respectfulness in his interviews.

I'm good thanks. I happen to be in a good place in my life right now. Regarding Tate, I wouldn't be surprised if he was jailed or "committed suicide" at this point. Society obviously hates and has zero tolerance for any forms of dark masculinity and I think you'd be foolish to believe that's a complete accident. Meanwhile male suicide rates continue to rise and the only socially acceptable explanation our society keeps flogging like a dead horse is "it's coz men don't talk about their feelings" or "it's the patriarchy". Men are opening up now more than ever. Why does the rate of depression and suicide continue to climb in that case? Shouldn't it have the opposite effect if that were true? Both Tate and Leo have been some of the most impactful figures on me; helping me to get out of dark and uncertain places in life. Seeing him arrested and ignorant people speaking the way they do highlights the serious mass hypnosis our culture is under that simply loathes anything that smacks of the dark masculine. People are surprised he such a figure exists in our 'modern day and age' which is amazing to me. If society is successful in supressing this latest reaction from the repressed masculine it will return in an uglier form in the future. Something we repeatedly fail to recognise. Till we stop lumping everyone into the incel box it's going to continue. Maybe that's just my "small dick energy" speaking though. Not sure. How are you feeling about everything?

“Most of them have a very strong stage orange mentality however that does present limitations to their teachings.” “I do think he is irresponsible with his messaging and inflammatory phrases though. Even if it’s just about gaining popularity to spread the message and awakening further it’s just not very loving or conscious.” “He does say a lot of retarded stuff that kids in school will no doubt misuse.” These are some of the negatives I mentioned. I'll add gross materialism aswell, a limitation of stage orange.

The section you highlighted states: "That said, affiliate marketing is much different from MLM. With this strategy, participants choose which products they promote and earn a commission on every sale they make. This money is paid by the retailer or business to the affiliate for driving traffic, sales, or referrals. There is no network recruiting involved. There are also no startup fees for joining an affiliate marketing program. As long as you have a method for promoting brands, you can begin doing so for free." When the program was running you could choose whether or not to promote Hustler’s University by affiliate marketing. It was not a requisite of joining. They also ran a separate affiliate marketing program that taught just that and didn’t include anything to promote HU. Therefore, not multi-level marketing or a pyramid scheme. Now the platform has been upgraded and moved to a different server after repeatedly being attacked.The affiliate marketing course is no longer available. Not sure if they’ll be developing it and adding it again in the future. Now they just teach copywriting, freelancing, e-commerce, stocks, crypto, and Amazon FBA aswell as bonus materials on real estate, money mindset, and loads of other bonus content that will probably teach some affiliate marketing but I can’t say. I’ve seen people ask and the proffessors answer questions on running an affiliate marketing business in calls.

It does make me cringe when I see that. But the majority of young men are still very much feminized and I suspect this sudden change is an attempt at reintegration of the masculinity they've been taught to repress. Like a child used to people pleasing and being submissive trying to learn to set boundaries. Often it can look embarrassing but it's a necessary step to growth.

Which crimes did he confess to?

Because this comes down to a value's judgement I feel it necessary to explain in depth my views and situation. Hence the length... I’ve wanted to be an actor since I was 10. When I was 17 I was preparing to audition for the top drama schools around the country. Before the auditions began my family and I went on holiday to the coast. Whilst there we saw a theatre company perform. I won’t be too specific about them to keep it anonymous but after watching them I decided that would be the highest goal for me. If I could work for this company I would have ‘made it’ as an actor. I was lucky enough to go to a prestigious drama school at the age of 18, one of only six to make it onto the course. I graduated with a first 3 years later and got an agent. I wrote to this company over the years but never got an audition. I only seemed to get parts for the low-end jobs. My agent wasn’t one of the top ones and I would go months without an audition. I finally changed agents however and a friend of mine ended up working for this company and told me you needed a driver’s license otherwise they wouldn’t take you. It’s a touring company and get ins and get outs are managed by the actors themselves. This was one of the reasons I wanted to join. The company is set up so you are travelling, building the set at outdoor locations-mostly stately homes and castles in England, Scotland, Wales, and Europe. Then you usher the people in, interact with them and then put on the show. I see myself as a story teller and was amazed this kind of archaic thing was still going and I could actually be paid good money for it. It seemed to me to be an adventure as well as an acting job. Not only do you just perform, you are responsible for the entire thing. I knew I wanted to be more than just an actor who goes to the dressing room when he’s finished and doesn’t meet the people he’s giving the story to. I wanted to have that extra special connection with my work. There are other reasons this company is particularly magical but I don’t want to make it obvious who they are. I moved home in 2020 to save money after the theatre I was working in shutdown due to Covid. Whilst home I realised I didn’t want to continue the life I was leading, working shitty day jobs in between the acting gigs. Most jobs you do as an actor tend to be low pay, temp positions because you need the flexibility to leave at any moment for an audition or a part. Many times I’ve done the circuit, get a job in a panto or fringe theatre, leave my old work, do the acting job, then when it’s over I have to find a new job. Living in London is expensive and for the jobs I could get I would be earning just enough to survive. I did everything, kids parties, bar work, reception temping. When I moved home I got a job at a post office and could actually save money for the first time in my life because my outgoings dropped off to nil. The trade off was I had little to no social life, no romantic interests (living with my parents), and could no longer go to as many low end acting jobs to flesh out my CV since I was now living in the countryside. The benefit was I managed to save up and invest and grow my finances. I had never been financially aware before and the lockdowns showed me just how vulnerable I had left myself in that regard. Over this year I managed to get a couple of acting gigs anyway and make some money investing but not to the point I am financially free. I realise the importance of protecting my asset column and don’t want to take from it until it is absolutely necessary. The fact is I wasn’t earning any income anymore since I left the post office to try to double down on my skills and find a way I could earn income by coaching or finding some other skill I could use to get financial independence and work for myself. I decided I don’t want to be 30 and still working bar jobs in between acting gigs. The reason I include this is because it’s felt like quite a grind the past few years and like my life has basically been on hold while I try to build myself and my resources so I can be independent. My goals are to be truly independent, live with my best friend, make my own money, and have the time to create my own work which I started to do 3 years ago when I realised the auditions and acting work wasn’t going to be given to me. I would have to create my own opportunities. At long last it felt like all my efforts were coming to fruition. Having started with 5k in the markets I’d made 65k. I learnt to drive and I made myself go out to meet people and made some amazing friends and got together with a gorgeous girl. I had gotten around to making my first work into a video format where I tell my own stories. I had enough money to move in with my best friend and leave my parent’s house again. The dreams were all coming true at once. In the space of a few weeks my portfolio was halved, the girl had turned on me and so had the friendship group and all my freedom and independence was gone. I was now feeling tight on cash again (one of the reasons she left). The coaching was fun but I realised I didn’t want it badly enough to spend any more time and effort on it to build it. I decided I would have to try leaning more into my writing and it would take time to build out. I felt like I’d gone from hero to zero. I couldn’t bare living at home anymore and had hang ups about ‘not being a real man’ after the years spent at home, not having a ‘real job’ and not being able to keep the girl I liked in my life. Soon I would have to get another crappy job again and I felt like such a failure. Then I got the audition of my dreams. I didn’t want to raise my hopes too high. I knew they would receive thousands of submissions. They would see a couple of hundred and pick less than 10 people some of whom would probably be from the previous year’s cast. But even as I tried to stay realistic I knew this could be my out, a way of supporting myself for the next year. 6 months working my actual ‘dream job’ in which I could save enough money to move in with my friend for another 6 months after the job had finished and continue to build my skills as a writer making copywriting and making my own content. It felt like the universe had come to me in my hour of need and offered me a lifeline. I was feeling so down and depressed, like I was watching my dreams on life support while all my other self-doubts crowded in around me. Now this chance had come at the perfect time. I poured all my energy into it to distract from this girl leaving me and from my financial worries. I dug into my cash reserves to buy train tickets to go to London for the audition having only a few pound left in my account. When I got the recall I cried I was so happy. I felt that even if I got no further I had been able to prove to everyone and to myself that I was still capable of being the actor I always wanted to be. That I could do the things I always believed I could. For the recall they wanted me to audition for the lead. I had to learn quite a lot and I sunk all my time and energy into yet again. I prepared for this like no other audition I had ever prepared for. If I got this I’d have a life back. Not only that but it would be a credit to prove I could roll with the best of them, a feather in my cap. Then when it was over I could continue working everyday on my own projects for another six months while I try to get my financial independence. Maybe the markets would take off again in that time and my portfolio would be back to full health and I wouldn’t have to get a job I don’t care about to pay the bills again. The possibilities were all so inviting. I nailed the recall. I honestly felt I’d never acted so good for an audition. They offered me the part. There were just a few details they wanted to know first. One of them being if I was vaccinated and if I had proof of my vaccination status... I know many people will be rolling their eyes at this point assuming anyone made it this far into my story. I think the corruption in government is pretty obvious especially in the UK and the financial incentives for the entire pandemic are well known. To me the vaccines are about money first and moving the Overton window in the law and social governance second. The last priority is public health. I believe the vaccines are probably not very damaging to our health although the long term effects are not known and increasingly there are reports from a growing number of credible body’s to say it’s not necessary for everyone. But most of the people I know who’ve had it seem to be just fine so far. I don’t think the risks of not taking the vaccine are anything like what media has made them out to be. I also think the company’s primary concern is not their own health but to protect their investment which is fair enough. If a company member gets Covid they will have to cancel shows while we self isolate. My agent said this has happened to clients and they have lost their jobs because of it. However, all of them already had the vaccine anyway. Which is to say it doesn’t guarantee preventing cancellations I told them no, I didn’t have the vaccine and they said they ordinarily ‘shouldn’t’ let me in but they liked me so much they’d be willing to work with me if I got the ball rolling now and booked my shots asap. I’d managed to avoid getting the vaccine over the last two years. I feel very soon noone will care so much about the passports and restrictions will lift/ are lifting already. But to do the Europe shows I might still need it to get past the boarder because even though it says there are exceptions for those working on a contract they leave the get out clause “but ultimately it’s up to the discretion of the boarder guard” and the company won’t want that kind of uncertainty even if they decided to risk it in terms of mitigating risk. I’m not really interested in any legal conflict. I don’t know what this says about me. If I had a son and he told me he was in this situation I’d tell him to stuff it, don’t roll over. This is tyranny and by accepting it you are paving the way for this to happen to others. Either I pass up on this part and have to spend the year working some crappy job and risk regretting not taking this opportunity and not knowing what might have been. Or I swallow my moral conflict, rollover for big daddy and get the life I always wanted. I feel like I’m doing a deal with the devil. What’s wrong with me? Am I so lacking in my self-esteem I don’t think I’ll get another opportunity? Working another job isn’t the end of the world, people would give their right hand to be in the position I’m in however bad it seems to me relative to my goals. I think Jesus would say fuck your vaccine, I’m good. I think if there was a time to take a stand and say ‘No’ to this insanity that the world has normalised it would be now. I think we’ll look back and see how messed up it is to say people have to put something in their body to make us feel safe. Especially when the dangers are, in my mind, a fabrication made to facilitate the transfer of wealth. I’ve had to eat some shit sandwiches in my time and swore I wouldn’t eat anymore but always knew this might come up at some point. Well, here I am having climbed a mountain that’s taken years to scale and have finally reached the promised land and here’s one final shit sandwich I’m being asked to swallow. I think if I do this it will be like refusing the path of the righteous. Like I’m lying down for the tyranny. Or is this just some of the retarded stuff the world foists upon us and I shouldn’t think about it too seriously. God is forgiving and maybe by doing this I will find out where my line truly is by crossing it and can forgive myself and even be grateful for the lesson. Then afterwards I’ll at least have had a good time and have the credit, the money, the freedom. Then I’ll know for sure next time if it’s worth it or not. Maybe this will be the final shit sandwich. Or maybe I’ll just go on with this forever and just keep rolling over. Maybe I’ll have a bad reaction and die a fool or maybe there’s another lockdown and the shows are cancelled anyway and it was all for nothing. My friend thinks I’ll be dead in five years and my soul will be locked away for half of eternity till the next spiritual election. I don’t believe in these things but do feel I’m giving up something of myself I would rather keep. I don’t know if I can let someone stick that thing in my arm. Will I be able to keep my integrity? I think I can because my career and serving my life’s purpose is most important to me and this fits in to my higher plan for the rest of my life. But where is the line? I might not get another opportunity. My goal is to get to a point where I can choose between these things and choose to create my own work, my own opportunities if these issues arise. I was hoping I’d get there before something like this happened. Is this just the next necessary step towards that freedom? Success involves risks and I have to risk that this vaccine won’t affect me long term. Is this evil? By acquiescing to this am I allowing evil to flourish for my own personal gain? Or is it not evil, I’ve just allowed myself to fall into this trap and the universe is teaching me how to avoid this in the future now so when something really bad crops up I’ll be prepared. I think we all know this is wrong and things shouldn’t be this way. I don’t think by getting the vaccine I am completely surrendering my free will. I’m hoping it will be worth it and my worries about the vaccine are just that, worries, and I have faith in myself to overcome whatever issues may arise. But I wonder if I’m not infact just a coward and a hypocrite and this “feeling” is not just my trying to rationalise this so I can view myself positively and get what I want. Is this is the resistance I need to overcome to understand something greater? Thanks for reading this. Obviously, my decision is my own and I won’t be blaming anyone, the government, the company, friends, or strangers on the web for what I choose. I just wonder if anyone else has experienced something like this and could offer advice. Peace.

@zurew @aurum @Phil King @Yarco Hello Everyone, There’s been a surprising twist in events. Thank you all so much for your kind words and insights. They helped me come to terms with my decision to get the vaccine and follow my dreams. However, I won’t be getting the vaccine or the job. After I agreed initially my agent spoke to Equity (the actor’s union) who said I might not need to get it if it was a religious belief. I thought the law they were referring to was the Equality Act 2010 and knew my beliefs were protected under this law as defined by the European human rights commission's definition of a philosophical belief which is a protected characteristic in this Act. I asked if this new information changed the situation as it might tick the theatre company’s legal tick boxes for insurance or duty of care. I also said however, if they would still rather I get it out of personal preference I would. Whilst waiting for a response I registered at the gp (doctor) where I broke down crying in front of the staff who were very kind and said they could liaise with the walk in vaccine site to give me more space and help when the time came. After a few days radio silence I asked my agent for an update. They said I had been “difficult” and things had probably turned against me. While texting my agent my friend who is also represented by them sent me an email they had sent to everyone on their client list… except me. In it they described the situation without naming me and said I had been “difficult and challenging” and “not put himself forward in the best way” and the director was now questioning “attitude”. As I saw this I began to suspect they had not conveyed my message properly and asked what they had said to him. They called me and started shouting and raving down the phone at me saying I had been difficult, I can’t demand other people accept my views, these “random laws from 12 years ago” were “irrelevant” and “a load of nonsense” and I had been flip flopping and going round in circles. It became obvious to me then what I had suspected earlier in the week when they initially tried to bully and railroad me into getting the vaccine without questioning things. They did not have my best interests at heart and didn’t care at all about my well being. They still avoided telling me what they had said to the director. Finally I told them they had made a mistake and not represented me properly. This was the tipping point and they exploded down the phone saying “Go away! You’re a complete idiot!” and hung up. Knowing now what they had done my highest priority was still to get the job so I texted them asking them to tell the director I could get the jab tomorrow if he could confirm the contract. They then emailed to say they had terminated representation, informed the director of this, and then a few minutes later that the director had withdrawn the offer. In my mind this was clearly their intention and they knew it would damage the director’s perception of me even further. I thought I’d be more upset but in truth I feel light as a feather, I’ve been walking around smiling everywhere I go. If I ever question myself I imagine how I would have felt if I had got the vaccine only for them to treat me like this at a later date and am thankful they showed their true colours or become even worse. I emailed the director to explain the situation but don’t expect any reply, nor am I all that fussed. I should have noticed earlier their bullying tactics for what they were and have seen this side to them before and ignored it. I have everything screen shotted including the email they sent out to clients in which they lied. In their goodbye email they were overzealous in their description of events and incriminated themselves further. Showing they had completely misinterpreted my position and my emails show this. I’ll be taking this to equity and other authorities. Even if nothing comes of it then people can be made aware of their malpractice and the next time they do this to someone cases will add up. Who’s to say there aren’t already. This to me is a sign from the universe to go all in on creating my own work and stop relying on outside decision makers to ‘give me the nod’. Also, while I suspect there’ll be a few more forks in the road in this life I will never consider betraying my values for my own career gains and certainly not for bullies who don’t even attempt to understand my position. Finally I thought it rather ironic that their resentment for me not getting the vaccine became the ultimate reason I didn’t get it. Don’t you love the universe? Peace fam. Stay strong out there!

Thanks Yarco. I appreciate your insight on that. I think I'm of the mind I'll do what I must this time round but if it can be avoided I would like to try to find a compromise. He can atleast hear what I have to say so he knows how much getting the job really matters to me if nothing else.

Thanks. Just to update, at first I was thinking of committing to being more creative but in the end I went with trying to talk to myself with more love and respect just because of some things that came up in the weeks leading up to the trip. It was fantastic btw! Then I happened across Leo's vid about self-love and it started to make a lot more sense. I'd had this weird instinct that self-love and compassion and self-respect would help me solve more problems in my life by proxy and the trip helped me see that. Tried a gram with a friend a few weeks later and the experience was fun but different. I'll be moving to higher doeses next

Hi ZenSwift, After reading this and your other 2g trip on the golden teacher I've decided to have a go! Thanks for sharing your experience. I've ordered 3 grams with the intention of trying 1 gram first then waiting a few weeks before trying 2 grams. Does this sound along the right lines to you? Or should I stick to a smaller dose for now given it's my first experience with hallucinogenic substances. I weigh about 165lbs. I'm currently working on Leo's life purpose course so I might set my intention towards discovering that. However I'm also struggling with love and acceptance of myself and others as well as a constant need to self-justify. I know you're not a councillor (but then again you might be I have no idea) but in your experience what aspect do you think the golden teacher would be best to help me in out of these three? Should I pick one to focus on or can I hold them all in my mind at once and see what takes precedence during the trip? Or are these irrelevant questions? Once again, thanks for the insights and take care!