Ayham

1. Hey, my name is ayham and I'm 16 years old. 2. I've been into Self-Actualization/Spirituality for 2 years. 3. What I am working towards creating in my life right now is creating the ultimate mental, physical and spiritual foundation and also finding my life purpose. 4. The main thing(s) that I'm struggling with right now is that I feel like I am not doing enough, no matter how much lectures I watch, how many books I read, how many minutes I meditate every day, how healthy I eat, i never feel like i am growing, and always want to do more, but school really limits my time for more stuff. 5. ONE action step that I could take tomorrow that would help me move closer to my goal is enjoy the journey more, stop obsessing about growing and becoming wiser. thanks! i got lots of clarity from this!

I came up with two main pillars for the good life during contemplation, and I really felt like making a useful post or contributing with it, even if its short, I hope someone finds it useful . #1 Living consciously Living consciously means means knowing what you want out of life and living according to that, not being a slave to momentary desires, one can change from an unconscious to a conscious lifestyle to a conscious one by dedicating oneself to a purpose, a goal, a path, etc. To choose a purpose/path, choose whatever you are passionate about right now, and morph it to suit you as you grow and change. Some ways to apply this include: Working towards your life purpose. Living according to your values. Weaning yourself off addictions that make your mind numb and reduce your conscioussness. Making conscious choices (ex: eating healthy > not eating healthy, letting theory inform action > pure action/theory, trying to understand a situation from the other persepective > getting angry, etc.) #2 Being in love with life It means loving life for it is own sake, finding life magical and fascinating whatever the circumstances are, and being happy just for existing and experiencing life, can be achieved by regularly taking time in solitude to reflect and marvel on life, and by being present. Some ways to apply this include: Meditation. Real yoga. Contemplation. Practicing mindfulness in daily life. Other secondary pillars that i later realized they are not neccessary for a good life: Right knowledge. Healthy lifestyle. But aren't those neccessary, how can you have a good life without right knowledge and theory, what about health? Well, both of these actually take care of themselves if you are living consciously according to the first pillar! which is why I consider these pillars secondary.

some people here consider you a role model, and thats pretty healthy as long as its not "guru worshipping", but you have some things that could negatively influence others that you could change, like stop being disrespectful to others and show more emotions. i sometimes notice in some your videos and such, you use ideas from specific authors/people without giving credit or mentioning the source, that could change. more videos for youngsters please . also wanted to add that you changed my life. won't make it long since words won't be able to capture it, but you really saved my life and made life something i love and enjoy living, i am thankful from all my heart, and i aim to surpass you one day leo . so thanks.

@Bittu AMAZING MAN. basically you are living a very passionate and conscious life, thanks to leo, which is awesome. tell me the struggles you faced along the way please, especially in the first few years, any doubts? overwhelmingness? feeling like you wont actualize your vision? that your life purpose isn't what you think it is? etc.

An Intro To Serious Philosophy - Top Advice For Philosophers - fields of philosophy - metaphysics - epistemology - ethics - aesthetics - political philosophy - philosophy of science - logic and mathematics - philosophy of religion - philosophy of mind - psychology - having a good psychology is crtical for philosophy - sociology - history - most of philosophy taught in college is actually history, history of philosophers and their ideas. - spirituality - mysticism - language - how to do philosophy - two types of philosophy - armchair philosophy which is just speculation - real philosophy that gives you insight and understanding - you have to be openminded. - spend thousands of hours in deep contemplation and questioning - be aware of self deception and bias. - philosophy is important to improve your quality of thinking - most people have poor quality thinking quality outside of their domain. - think of how powerful this is., you are gonna be thinking your whole life, so - how is philosophy accomplished: - contemplation and observation - keep switching between those two to understand something, have your observations inform your contemplation and vice versa. - exploring perspectives and POV's. - asking powerful questions. - self reflection. - traps of philosophy and what philosophy is not: - armchair speculation and guessing. - group think, justifying beliefs and ideology. - debating, arguing and debunking. - history of philosophy and scholarship. - writing and publishing papers. - subscribing to some philosopher or philosophy. - proving things. - judging the quality of philosophy based on credentials, authority and popularity. - using it as escapism from real life. - mental masturbation. - political activism and power/dominance games. - rationalization vs inquiry. - its possible to understand reality and yourself fully. - the end point of philosophy. - pure philosophy - pure philosophy doesn't care about history and individuals. - in pure philosophy, we care about the ideas themselves, how they blend together, evaluate them and make the best possible understanding of reality from them. - willing to question everything. - worries and notices self deception. - four key questions in pure philosophy: - how the fuck is anything possible? - what the fuck is anything? - where the fuck did you come from? - what the fuck is consciousness? - how do I live the best life? (bonus) - top techniques for philosophers: - sitting down alone for hours to contemplate - asking powerful questions and honing them - simplicity, clarity and cutting through bullshit. - radical skepticism, apply skepticism to everything (apply your skepticism to itself too). - study all philosophies (briefly), don't get lost in one. - explore new perspectives. - radical open-mindedness. - question science just like religion. - psychedelics. - keep a commonplace book. - write down all your major insights. - do serious meditation. - study psychology and sociology. - making and collapsing distinctions. - generate powerful examples. - observation - master language and clear communication. - engage other intellectuals in philosophical conversation and dialogue (do not debate) - writing, write down your thoughts. - start a YouTube channel/blog/public speaking. - Leo's top advice for philosophers: - do not neglect survival aspects of life. - develop some practical skills too, like computer programming, drawing, cooking, engineering, etc. - don't turn philosophy into dogma. - keep your philosophy simple and clear. - be careful of your pet theories and intuitions. - consciousness is key. - be more open minded - enjoy the process. - embody your philosophy. - be aware of self deception. - generate practical insight, like money and attraction. - be original. - contemplate. - don't get attached to a school of philosophy. - keep it simple. - study self help. - don't over-specialize, be aware of the big picture. - make clarity one of your highest values. - history of philosophy is not doing philosophy. - be aware of intellectual fads. - there are philosophies that are worth studying, that point to the right direction. - skepticism - pyrrhonism - idealism - relativism - political philosophy - eastern philosophy - Zen - Buddhism - Hinduism (Vedanta for example) - Dzogchen - mysticism - non duality - meditation - monism - solipsism - yoga - there are also philosophers worth reading. - Heraclitus - Anaximander - Anaxagoras - plotinus - Sextus Empiricus - Hegel - Berkeley - Thomas Kuhn - Paul Feyerabendian - Willard Quine - Spinoza - William James - the stoics - sri aurobindo - ken Wilber - peter Ralston - overrated philosophers - Socrates - Plato - Aristotle - Descartes - Hume - Kant - post modernists - Wittgenstein - Hobbes - Locke - Nietzsche - Heidegger - Machiavelli - Sartre - Camus - Pierce - Ayn Rand - Richard Rorty - Confucius - Husserl - Russo - there is no one true philosophy, but a mix of idealism, panpsychism, pantheism, monism, non-duality, Zen, Buddhism, Vedanta, radical skepticism, pyrrhonism, mysticism, holism, relativism, Hindu idealism, solipsism, subjectivism and phenomenology is the best pointer. - still wont take you to truth. - mental masturbation is a trap of philosophy, it can turn into that, but not necessarily. - you can use it to gain understanding and fix practical mundane daily problems. - if you do philosophy badly, expect to become insane, suicidal, start or join some cult or become dogmatic. - worst case scenario. - if you do good philosophy though, you will reach a point where everything is clear. - this state will lead to awakening, god realization, infinite consciousness, immortality, absolute perfection, and total clarity. - philosophy is also about cultivating your mind and intelligence. - philosophies that are a waste of your time: dualism, atheism, behaviorism, materialism, physicalism, realism, scientific realism, logical positivism, empiricism, rationalism, libertarianism, nihilism, absurdism, existentialism, and reductionism. - you are not gonna find truth in academia and university. - there is not such thing as too young to do philosophy. - there are downsides to philosophy - you can live in your own eco chamber. - you can neglect the survival aspects of life. - how to get started - briefly study all the philosophies that exist. - make a list of questions you are most interested in answering. - do independent contemplation. - observe your mind at work. - be honest about your biases and deceptions. - you need integrity and embodiment to do philosophy.

@r0ckyreed LOL, you beat me to it, i was gonna post my summary of the philosophy vid too imma still post it lol.

Right now, I think I developed a super new "method" that combines everything here! basically, I sit for meditation, go through the 6 point preperation (which are motivation for meditation, goals for this session, tell myself to let go of expectations, to practice diligently the whole session, state some distractions that may arise, and finally get in posture) P.S the goal for the session will depend on TMI stage, so right now: increase and appreciate the moments of noticing that my mind have wandered then I do the four step transition (doesnt take long, you just get in the present real quick then focus on the body, relax it all, then on your whole breath, and finally on the tip of your nose) now some of ya might not like this since it is too effortful or like forcing, but hear me out, after you do this, you focus on your breath, AS FOCUSED AS YOU CAN FOR LIKE 2 MINTUES, until you become good enough at 2 mintues, then 3, then 4 (idea from leo's video: concentration vs. meditation) when you become good at this, you will get into access concentration, which will help with the rest of the session now this is all warmup, wont take 10 minutes the rest of the session is either open awareness practice (satisfaction meditation, ABM, do nothing etc.) or noting and labeling (shinzen style), depending on the mood, this makes the practice not repeatable. and warmup thingy helps as in to get in access concentration which will skyrocket the whole thing. and culadasa mentioned in his book that you can go thorugh the stages using ways other than the breath, so now, by implementing the six point preperation and four step transition, you practice deliebrately to move through tmi stages using this. so in short, you sit, do concentration for a couple of minutes very intensely, at some point you will be able to get into access concentration fast, and the rest of the session is either open awareness practice or noting yes i know i totally ruined the "dont complicate it" and "have fun" part, but this is kinda part of my personality lol

I want multiple perspectives from people with lots of experience, I started meditating almost a year ago, I almost never skip days, I started with shinzen young's "see hear feel", doing 20 minutes a day, I got lots of results, I increased the time for 5 minutes a month, until I reached 35 minutes, and all the results i used to get disappeared, and I started to become unable to sit for longer than 20 minutes again. I think I experienced backlash, so I remained for a month doing the same, until I realized its not working, so I started reading the mind illuminated, I got back to 20 minutes and increased five minutes every two weeks this time, and currently i am on 40 minutes. and by TMI standards, I am basically stage 2, which is sad, its been a year of practice, and I am still stage 2, and ever since that backlash, I havent been feeling results like the beginning, I have been trying to clear my expectations tho. Now here are the questions: How do I reach higher stages in TMI? Am I stuck at stage 2 because I started with an insight oriented practice, while it is generally recomended to start with a concentration practice? Should I even continue With TMI, maybe I should go back to noting, maybe some other technique? Edit: with TMI, I mean the mind illuminated

@Gesundheit2 hehe, i needed that, i always feel like i am not progressing enough and feel in a rush, thanks! @axiom what if it is not happening tho @r0ckyreed great to hear, about contemplation, I dont really do it much know, i do it from time to time, it is so insightful and fun, i love it, but i am trying not to focus on enlightenment so much in this period of my life (even though i really want it), since i have more basic shit to deal with, like life purpose and career and stuff, but i do meditation to set a great spiritual foundation so that i can pursue enlightenment at some point.

@Gesundheit2 well, how can I balance the two, if i do concentration practice, i wont get the latter (unless i get to stage 10 in TMI standards) and if i do insight medition or non concentration meditation, it wont help in the former (i heard these practices help with enhancing brain capabilites but not much compared to concentration practice) so i need to find a way to either combine concentration practice and meditation, or do them both (i dont have much time for that since school and stuff) so i think combining them is better for me, i dont know how to do that tho lol. you mean meditation in daily life, how do you go about doing that exactly? just mindful awareness? or something more specific? alright lol, so continue with this then abm for 2 weeks each, got it. but if you saw my earlier response, my reasons for meditating is to : sharpen my mind get enlightened and purify myself in the long run do these really help with those?

@Gesundheit2 hey, its been a while, my motivation for meditation is to enhance my mind as in making it more sharp, and to master my self and purify it in the long run (AKA get enlightened)

so @r0ckyreed, I finished my session, I found myself enjoying the session and very relaxed, I even found myself smiling with no reason, tho the satisfaction part was kinda hard, because it felt forced, I found myself unconsciously doing "do nothing" meditation, rather than satifaction meditation since it felt more relaxing, even though they are both open awareness practices. I did both during my session, they both worked, though i liked do nothing more, since it was no effort so it felt very peaceful, and I also felt satisfacition from it. I feel relaxed af right now, I cant describe it really.

@r0ckyreed hmm, so you are saying that in order to progress in meditation, I need to first enjoy my practice. I see, I currently enjoy it only when I get into a deep meditative state (which is getting more and more common, but I try to let go of expectations about getting into a meditative state). This reminds of leo's: "concentration vs. meditation" video, I remember something about doing concentration in the beginning of your meditation. I have seen that video, but I never tried it. oh yeah, I remember in the begininng I used to practice in day to day life a lot, and it helped a ton! but overtime, I did that less and less, good to idea to start doing this again. I will go meditate right now, first I will go through the six point perepration and the gradual four step transition, then focus on the breath to get grounded and maybe get in access concentration, then will do the satisfaction meditation thingy. will tell you my experience afterwards.

@Thought Art the mind illuminated book by culadasa

Software I highly recommend using obsidian, i used to think it was complicated too, until I decided to give it a try for a period of time, see this very short beginner series: pros of obsidian: it is future proofed, everything is in markdown format so even if the app disappears, you can open anything in it with just the notepad app. it makes linking very easy, which makes the making of new original ideas very easy too. it has any feature you could ever want, the obsidian app has tons of features, and anything that doesn't have a feature, there is probably a plugin for it you could download, since there is a very active community for plugins, so you aren't limited by features. it is locally stored on your computer, yet you can also enable sync with mobile device, i think you have two options for this, a paid option and a free one. cons of obsidian: it has a bit of a learning curve. Organization System In the field of personal knowledge management, the two most respected systems are the Zettelkasten and the PARA system, these two have many details I wont go into, but I have tried both, and I will tell you the big picture of each. Zettelkasten: this is a very old system, originated from the sociologist Niklas Luhmann, who thanks to this system, wrote over 70 books and published 400 scholarly articles, of course he didn't use the system digitally, since there wasn't digital stuff back then, but it can be done digitally or physically. the anatomy of the system is that he keeps 3 types of notes (make those into folders in obsidian), fleeting notes which are just thoughts/ideas/insights/reflections (you can activate the daily note plugin, and write your thoughts on your daily note each day), literature notes which are brief summaries you take on any resource after you consume it (books, videos, articles, etc.), and finally permanent notes, these notes are atomic, which means they contain only one single idea, you usually write those with literature notes as your source, or maybe a fleeting note turns into a permanent note. so your workflow is to take fleeting notes, if something is worth being a permanent note, you make a permanent note, you also take literature notes, and see if you can make a permanent note out of it, I recommend having an inbox folder, in which you take literature and fleeting notes, and you ideally process them once a day, read through them, try finding new ideas and connections, you will be surprised about the new original ideas you will develop. the problem with this system is that it is just note taking, you don't manage projects and different areas of your life. that's where the PARA system comes in: 4 folders, projects, resources, areas, and archives, I got burned out from typing a lot on Zettelkasten so sorry i don't feel like going into details, but it is obvious, check out the work of Tiago Forte for more. i found that this system gets confusing since everything seemed to belong to different categories, and it was a pain to manage, yet the Zettelkasten doesnt use sub folders and categories, since it ruins the whole idea of the Zettelkasten, you can use tags though, after your Zettelkasten gets after lest say 150-200 notes, you should start using maps of contents, or MOCS, which you can look into when that happens. my recommendation is that it depends on your values, do you want new ideas, do you want a tool that manages your life. i think a digital Zettelkasten with a physical journal to manage my daily life and goals is the best for me.

The Importance of Asking Questions - the quality of your life depends on the questions you ask and how consistently you ask them. - you need to build a habit of questioning things - the reason you are suffering is because of your lack of understanding, which comes from not asking the right questions. - this technique is perfect for starting self help and sorting out your life, but you can change it to fit you over the years to take you to advanced levels. - the answers to life are inside of you, not outside, example of answers that to questions that can be found inside of you: - how to be successful. - how to meditate better. - how to solve a relationship problem. - how to solve a health problem. - how to follow your life purpose. - etc. - don't fall into the trap of thinking that because all the answers are inside of you, you don't need to read, to study and to learn. - think of the content you consume as grist for the mill. - after you collect knowledge, you sit down and start deeply questioning everything you know, holding no ideas sacred. - so you develop your own unique answers rather than following what some guru said. - contemplation is similar, but different. - contemplation is existentially oriented, while this is practically oriented. - examples of high quality questions: 1. What do I really want? 2. What is most important for me in life? 3. What is my life purpose? 4. What is my highest vision for myself? 5. What is the next level of my life purpose? 6. How do I be more creative? 7. How do I be a visionary? 8. How do I keep myself from backsliding? 9. Why do I have ego backlashes? 10. What new product or service could change the world? 11. What does the world really need right now? 12. What causes me to get in a rut 13. What motivates me? What excites me? 14. What would I do if I had no fear or limitation? 15. How am I dishonest with myself? 16. What am I avoiding in my life? 17. What ideological believes or positions do I cling to? 18. What am I unwilling to let go of in my life? 19. Why aren't I able to surrender? 20. Why is my mind so active all the time? 21. Why do I have emotions? 22. What is their purpose? 22. Why are people selfish? 23. Why does religion exist? 24. Why are there so many different kinds of religion? 25. Why do people disagree about non-duality? 26. Where is humanity headed in the future? 27. What is my role in society? 28. Why do I judge, criticize and complain? 29. How am I failing to take responsibility for my life? 30. What does it mean to be more conscious? 31. What are some examples of [blank] 32. How is my worldview holding me back? 33. What is my worldview? 34. Why do I love [blank]? 35. What is the next stage of evolution for my business and/or my career? 36. What do I truly believe that I need to have to be happy? 37. Why do I meditate? 38. Why do I want this relationship? 39. What is the most powerful question that I could ask? 40. How do I become successful? 41. What makes people so effective, such a great salesman, such a great leader? 42. How am I unique? 43. How am I not being true to my uniqueness? 44. How do I become a better leader, artist, parent, person, [blank]? 45. What am I like when I'm at my best? 46. What am I like when I'm at my worst? 47. In what ways am I a devil? 48. How are x and y the same? How are x and y different? 49. What are some totally new ways that I could live my life? 50. Why am I resisting x? 51. Why am I afraid of x? 52. What would be my ideal job? 53. What would I regret most on my deathbed 54. How am I being inauthentic and why? 55. What am I most proud of in my life? How could I do more of that? 56. What robs me of energy and passion? 57. How can I use my mind in better ways? 58. Why are there so many deluded people in the world? How do I avoid becoming deluded? 59. What is the lesson here? 60. What are the top 5 ideas from this book? 61. What causes me stress? What is stress? 62. What do I admire about person x? 63. What lessons could I learn from that person? 64. What would a permanent fix for this be? 65. What is the root of this problem? 66. What opportunities am I overlooking? 67. If I could get the answer to any question, what question would I ask? 68. What makes me feel creative? 69. What would be a more authentic way of doing my job, flirting, relating to my children, x? 70. What would be a better way of doing this? 71. How does this look from another persons' point of view? 72. What top 3 things would transform my life if I did them? 73. What makes me come alive? 74. Why does this trigger me? 75. How can I be more aligned with God? 76. Why am I struggling with [blank]? 77. Where can I find the answers? 78. How am I being selfish? 79. How do I make my psychedelic experiences stick in everyday life? 80. What is holding mankind back? 81. What is the big picture here? 82. What are the most common traps with enlightenment, meditation business, dating...? 83. If this fails, what will be the most likely causes of the failure? 84. What am I really good at? 85. What is a new way of seeing this problem? 86. How is my thinking about this limited? 87. Who could give me good advice on this topic? 88. What if my core assumptions are wrong about this? What are they? 89. What could I accomplish if I had more confidence in myself? 90. What am I really trying to say here? 91. How am I creating this problem? 92. How can I make this task more enjoyable? 93. How am I being closed-minded? 94. What are the most powerful self-help techniques? 95. How can I become financially independent? 96. What should be the next chapter in my life? - when you ask a question, your mind opens up, it goes in a different direction. - have faith that you will get the answers, be curious about them. - phrase your questions in curious ways, seeking to understand, rather than phrasing them as a victim or negatively. - Top tips: - believe that your questions are important and that it is possible to answer them. - be genuinely curious. - phrase your questions well. - be open minded - all of reality is understandable, there is nothing you can't know. - start asking questions habitually. - answers to your questions might come from unexpected sources. - action steps: 1. contemplate the importance of questioning 2. start a list of all your important questions in life 3. determine which of these questions are ones that you really care about. 4. identify your top obstacles and ask questions related to that. 5. make a list of questions you are afraid to ask. 6. buy a stack of legal pads and use them for questioning. - three most life changing questions: - what is consciousness - what is reality - what do I really want?

sorry for completely stopping posting here, i started doing Journaling privately, worked much better. and i wanted to do weekly reviews here, but i went to my home city where me father lives, stayed there for a week, found out he is married, we argued a lot, he kicked me out of the house, he beat me in front of my grandparents, THEN I GOT ANGRY AND SLAPPED HIM, hitting your parents is one of the most taboo things here. so yeah lots of stuff happened, i did not want to have trauma happen to me, so i did a lot of feeling into the emotions and taking responsibility, but i am still not completely over it, and i don't know how to deal with social things much. but anyway i think all this resulted in ego backlash/burnout, i am starting to recover. i have not cut the activities i do tho, expect when i was at my father's place which was for about a week. i don't know, maybe i might return to weekly reviews, if not, then this might be goodbye. but i promise everyone who reads this, even though i don't think anyone reads this journal, but i promise that i won't give up on all the self improvement and spiritual activities, and that i will live my life purpose.

Today is the day i start a journal, the reason for this is that i feel i might fall off track. before i start, some notes: i will be journaling daily before bed. i am trying to follow leo's video since I'm 15 (advice for high-school and college students) , I've been doing so for 6 months now, not fully tho. first i will get all my thoughts, emotions, ideas out. Then i will review each thing i am doing which are : Meditation 1 hour, Studying in school for knowledge (the only one i am struggling to do) , Reading a book a month, Healthy diet, finding life purpose and anything in the video. i won't be dating and exploring my options since it's taboo here, in college it's kinda normal so will wait till college. some additional things that I won't always do, just on holidays or occasionally : Kriya yoga, Programming, Weight lifting. it's final exams currently so school year is ending and our summer holiday is 4 months here in Iraq (since we don't have holidays during the school year) also @Leo Gura, i haven't bought the life purpose course but i found it for free on the internet, i am from a third world country, and my family is not in the best financial conditions, hope you can understand, tho i will definitely buy it whenever i can, i only finished the strengths assessment and I've gained massive value. finally @Leo Gura what do you mean by not doing social groups? like avoiding groups to not get affected by group think? because that's what I've been doing, i quit friend groups i was in, it was tough but i am introverted so i feel at peace now lol, and i also realized how shallow it was. so here is the final format: [Talking about my day and getting things out] Life Purpose: Studying: Diet: Reading: Meditation: will do my first entry when finals end (after 1.5 weeks).

@Vision@Vision yes i am aware of that trap, thanks.

Congrats for me! I finished the whole course, did all the exercises except negative values release since i did not choose one. anyways, here it is: so aside from not being sure and thinking if i have the wrong life purpose, the domain of mastery and ideal medium are probably wrong, because i really felt for nothing in the ideal medium. while in the DoM, i chose personal development, but i don't think it is quite right, maybe philosophy is better, which is why i bought philosophy books, to get a feel for it then decide. values and strengths are almost fully right. the goals are for this year, don't mind them. so here is my question, and i contemplated this, but i want other perspectives: as a teenager, should i start working towards my life purpose or just continue with basic personal development? currently it is holiday so i can do both, in school i can fit in mediation + reading, maybe something else occasionally but no more on a daily basis. or maybe start working towards life purpose in college? maybe just continue exploring to see whats there, maybe there is something more true to me than this work. the problem is that i have been interested in personal development and spirituality since 12/13, so i have not explored other fields, so maybe my real passion lies somewhere in another field, but i cant think of something that sparks me up except this stuff, maybe i got interested in this from the beginning because it is true to me? i really cant know. when i contemplated this here is what i came to: continue meditating, reading, eating healthy, etc and explore stuff as i like, gather experience from life, and if for example i need something right now to be able to accomplish my life purpose (like learning programming to study university in turkey, so i can go from turkey to Canada after i graduate since going to Canada from here will be difficult) i will do that. but what is bugging me is that i will miss the opportunity to start the mastery process early, but how can i start it if i have doubts about my DoM, and even if i was sure, i wont be able to fit it in school days. so i want perspectives. thanks in advance.

@Vision great points. so "exploring" my interests using my life purpose. if i notice i am not that passionate at whatever it is, i use the course again to specify my life purpose using the knowledge i gained about myself from practice, practice will inform theory. then repeat, keep adjusting it in the micro and macro level. until at 21 i will go with whatever i end up with in this exploration process, a lifelong commitment . thank you for your reply.

@Danioover9000 Wow! what a list, i like how you have everything detailed out. thats something i noticed i need.

Hello Merk well i do have a problem in the wording, but i mean something like finding answers to questions by doing research on them, like combining ideas from the best of the best in the field i want to answer the question in, then combining it with my own experience, then making it super practical and road-map like, then present it in a way that if applied expands the persons potential to extraordinary levels. so i will be working with people in person to see their growth . like i will be making personal development techniques/ideas/etc. that are original and holistic that combine the work of the best people in the field, specialized and adjusted to the person/persons i am working with. yeah i can do that, i might do that until i am like 21 then settle with something and go with it full force. thank you for your answer merk, i have seen you before here, good luck with your life purpose!

you mean something like a strong tingling sensation? because i have this shaking/tingling sensation sometimes when i am in a spiritual state whether meditating, contemplating, watching/reading spiritual things, etc. it mostly happens in my hands.

I have returned well,let me just say something, you know how i was supposed to replace this journal with a private journal, i actually forgot to do that and just remembered LOL. so lets see the goals i had Complete LP course : Done have enough knowledge about Kriya yoga to see if i want to try it the week after this one: I did that, sort of, and i decided to focus my energies on meditation. Complete my physics self study course, start chemistry. next week: Fail complete programming book (code: hidden language) and start CS50: realized this was unrealistic goal, also this book is pretty useless, so will start cs50 tomorrow. so overall ok week, i struggled mostly with waking up late but found a briliant solution, i dont even wake up groggy anymore. the second thing is that since some days i woke up late, which made me super groggy, my meditation became super ineffective and very short sessions. Here are my goals this week: Discipline: build a streak for when i study physics and programming, i will break the chain if i miss a session. Meditation: also build a streak for reaching the WHOLE 35 minutes, no more canceling timer before it rings. General: stop making this so grindy! i remember in the beginning i used to enjoy this stuff so much, i still do but i have made it a grind. Life purpose: the course is done, i will watch the documentaries recommended though this week.