Bobby_2021

The kind of mental gymnastics people play here and pretend that they don't know is just hilarious to me. She will definitely compare you to the guys she fucked earlier. It's human nature. And women always want a better high status man with even more resources. So you have to be better than her ex, else she will feel bad that she had to settle for you. And you get a shitter version of her as she may need more from you else she becomes resentful. She will definitely think about it. Universally men prefer virgins. That's nature.

I don't judge her as a person. SHe is doing perfectly fine from her context and I accept it. SHe has the freedom to marry absolutely anyone. I don't object to it. "I hope if some man had nonconsensual sex with her, you woud not think it decreased HER value?" ok let me also be harsh here. Having sex with her without her consent is rape. If she is raped, she is traumatised for life. I have to hire a therapist to undo the damage. She won't be a as functional as she used to be, depending on how violent the rape was. The repressed trauma won't go away so easily. So atleast in theory her value is decreased. Harsh but true, You ask a lot of questions, and not so much explanations. I can't answer all your questions since they may require deeper explanations. Stereotypes have lots of truth inside them. Else they won't be used so popularly. Yes women are more dramatic and neurotic. Women range higher in the big 5 personality trait neuroticism. This is psychology. I am not repsonsible for any negative conotations you attach to these words. I stand by the technical definintion of these words, without needing to assign arbitary meanings to it. See man, you are thinking that truth lies in the middle to two relative things. Maybe you have ideological relativism. Women have more of some personality traits. Men and women are not equally emotional/neuoric/dramatic. There are sharp contrasts in the behaviour of men and women as a whole. Divorce courts do not equally favour men and women. It's in the favour of women 99% of the time. Men are hurt more from a divorce, his life savings halved in value and his kids taken away from him, since women win the custody battles most of the time. How about you accept these things too? I speak for 99% men atleast. I speak for everyone because, they are everyones survival values. Please let me know if you are willing to marry a 30 year old independent experienced women with 19 body count or a 23 year old inexperienced girl. The choice is easy for most men. Don't lie. I say I speak for men since they are survial values for most men. Its not my bias alone. No one is independent to survival biases. Hence I spoke. Thanks for your repsonse. I appreciate it.

How bout collapsing the distinction between fapping and not fapping? cheers man good luck.

See first of all everyone fails to see the ground reality in India. India is not a safe place. We have a corrupt police system. Things go downhill anytime real fast. So whenever we are out our parents ask for constant updates and ask us to come home early. It's because our safety is at stake here. It's very convenient for people who grew up in the west to say.."oh look a Neurotic stage blue nut case." Noone is asking for constant updates. But updates regarding where someone has went, who they are with is generally necessary. Because the circumstances here is the towns are such. After 8 PM there is minimal human activity, and it's generally not safe, especially for girls. One bad incident and you are traumatized for life. Few understand this. Anyway it still doesn't bother me. I wanted to speak to someone about the situation and wanted fresh perspectives to stop thinking the same things over and over. I have got it from this discussion and I am grateful for it, especially for the views critical of myself.

This is perfectly said. Thank you Hoarder.

If you live in blue societies you meet plenty of girls who saving them for marriage. To me it shows that they are *invested* into making the marriage work. Once she has sex with a man, it's because she has decided that he is her husband and nothing can seperate them. That gives structure and stability to marriage, and there is no comparing present partner with the past partner. [Humans can't stop instinctual comparisons, it's design by nature.] Am i being ideological about my expectations? Nope. I have decent self awareness.(atleast i think so) Do I consider it, given that I have options to choose girls that meets my expectations? Yes. And I speak for all men. No man will choose a non virgin if he has the choice to choose otherwise. This is true 100% of the time. Any man that tells you otherwise is blatantly lying.

I would rather believe in some bullshit and suffer rather than gambling for a 50% chance of my net worth being halved and paying alimony and child support for the rest of my life for my ex. Staying in abusive marriages may not be right. So as divorcing and leaving the mental health of the man in ruins and have his children taken away from him. Both are not right. As I said I care about results. As a man, a lot of people don't care about you. A man is valued for generating results. Also I don't think marriages break down solely because of abuse. Marriages break down since both people do not invest into making the marriage work. Such investments to making it work isn't there in post blue societies in my opinion. P.S please Don't turn this into a blue vs orange/green debate. As I said this is purely concerned with results and making some institution work. I am not ideological and approch the situation with good self awareness. Cheers.?

Of course, my respect for her hasn't gone down one bit because of this. I don't see why it should be even a reason to judge her. But I have certain expectations from my life partner. I like to call it evaluations rather than judgements. Just like women may not prefer a broke man, it isn't because of being broke is a reason for judging him. That's all.

Thank you. Will work on it. The main issue that bugging me is her past, and that she isn't a virgin. That's all. I won't try to control her going out so much.

For now, to be honest, I see arguments.?

Thank you so much for understanding the complexity of the situation. Means a lot to me.

I already told you I am from a stage blue country. I have decent self awareness of what I am doing. I want to maximize the success of my marriage. That's the only thing I value. Divorce courts here skin the man alive. Stage blue societies treat marriage as sacred. I thought I should get acceptance for that. Post stage blue countries have almost 50% divorce rate. That maybe a slight indication that blue societies capture something about marriage that higher stages may not. It's only about marriage.

Hello Hari, Yes mallu here.??? Gald to meet you. We are everywhere.??? Women are a little dramatic to be honest and in some conflict after if she ever refers to her ex, I am going to flip out. Well in India, lots of girls have sex only after marriage, still. I feel like the quality will be higher with a virgin girl than a non virgin. Any man will select a virgin over a non virgin, only if he had the chance. This is true 100% of the time. Am I being needy for wanting what every man wants? Well I don't have issues entertaining that perspective. I don't think I am, or maybe not.

Maybe. But India is not the safest place in the world for girls. She must always be in some male company for her safety, atleast at night. I don't like her being in close proximity with other males. I don't think she will flirt back to anyone, ever, even if someone tries to hit on her. I do trust her. But I should be the one she relies on for safety, not some other men. I do trust her. I don't trust the men around her. The whole situation feels wrong to me. P.S you said in your 3 part video series on sexuality that having more sex for a woman decreases her value. Well in a stage blue partriachal country like India there are loads of girls who are adamant that they lose virginity only after marriage. I am merely exercising my options by wanting a "high value" girl. How does that make me needy? My only pain is going to be that I wasted her time and my time with breaking up.

She tells me everything once she is back home. But she doesn't like to be called on phone when she is out. The point is that she likes to be in positions where she may not be loyal.

Beautiful. There is no description of reality. Reality is itself.

I can't be the only one who thinks this is a serious problem. Why do liberals act secretly act as conservatives in shadow? Why is that they show no intention in realising the progressive vision, when it's they, who are the one that have to give up? Maybe this is the clue for us to stop wishing that politics would work fine, only if the "other side" didn't exist. Instead to focus on ourselves and where we can change.

USA in many ways has two parties both of which are, right wing, for all practical matters. But yeah, relativistically @Terell Kirbysaid, left is less rooted in fear and preserving status quo. There are slightly better than right. But they don't embody what they stand for. There is still too much ideological biases in the left. And this must be talked about!!

Everytime I raise an argument to tax the billionares in an attempt to reduce inequality and give power to the people, I get thrown the same question. The billionares net worth isn't tied up as cash. Instead their net worth is only becaue their stocks in their company is so large. So we can't tax them directly. Honestly it is a good question. For eg: If I have a T-shirt that is worth $30$, my net worth is also $30. Now lets say I got it signed by Roger Federer and now everyone wants it. People are willing to pay it $100 million for my shirt, but I haven't sold it yet. But my net worth also increased to $100 million. How shall I be taxed then? I want the most detailed and elaborative answer. Thank you.

Software Engineer.

Well it's the exact same timings for me too. 8.30-6 Pm and sometimes it can go further. The best option is for you to be strategic as fuck. Play the corporate game. You are in it anyway. Plan 10 years ahead. Use the little time you have in between work to prepare for exams or coding or whatever that can get you a good job. You can utilise your weekends well. Right now your priority isn't enlightenment or spirituality, but to have a solid foundation for life. I know exactly the kind of thing you are going through, because I have the exact same timings. But it won't be like this 10 years down the road.

What is your opinion regarding taxation backfiring? This is also the major right wing talking point. What if the rich simply leave taking away the jobs with them? Isn't that going to hurt everyone. Is practicality undermined when we dicuss taxation? https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/dec/31/france-drops-75percent-supertax France taxed at 75% income earners above $1M and it led to 42,000 millionares leaving the country. Later it was scrapped. "In 1990, twelve countries in Europe had a wealth tax. Today, there are only three: Norway, Spain, and Switzerland. According to reports by the OECD and others, there were some clear themes with the policy: it was expensive to administer, it was hard on people with lots of assets but little cash, it distorted saving and investment decisions, it pushed the rich and their money out of the taxing countries—and, perhaps worst of all, it didn't raise much revenue." What is your opinion regarding taxation backfiring? This is also the major right wing talking point.

@Leo Gura I think you are focusing on the end result too much. Of course we all want free schools, colleges & healthcare, funded by taxes on the top 1%. But the whole problem is that the top 1% is EXTREMELY GREEDY & MANIPULATIVE that they are not willing to redistribute their wealth. That's why we need a foolproof strategy to tax the rich. If you don't know how to deal with how to tax my $100m shirt, I am afraid you won't be able to touch billionares. Because that's how billionares avoid taxes in practice. I am NOT talking about some out of touch with reality abstract world. The only change is that they use fancy watches and fine art to evade taxes, instead of a shirt. You cannot sell a "portion of your shirt" like you do with stocks. Watch this video for more : But I get the idea with stocks. Above a certain degree of net worth( say $10m) , billionares must sell a portion of their stocks to pay wealth tax. I am sure that there will be some practical difficulties with implementing this as well, we have to discuss about this more as vast majority of people still think that billionare still hold billions of dollars in cash lol. This is just a projection of themelves.

Distributing 199 billion isn't as easy since that money isn't tied up as cash. Instead that's the price of the stocks in Amazon. He can convert that money only if he sells those stocks. Please don't think so simplistically.