Bobby_2021

It's not conditioning. It's life. ? The countries which are most egalitarian have the women choose occupations which are generally considered traditionally feminine. This is the design by birth.

"as for the non-vaccinated, I really want to piss them off" I am doubly vaccinated. But why do the government feel like they have the right to force vaccines on those who, well, dont want it? Who is being ideological here? Shouldn't the government protect the interests of everyone?

I come from a decently conservative christian family in a small town in India. My gf is from a city where most people are moderately open about their sexuality. She frequently goes to her friends houses and she doesn't like to be reached on phone when she is out. I have long periods (4 month +) when I am away for my work. I don't doubt her. I am sure she is loyal. I want to marry her and she wants it too. But her past keeps bugging me. She wants to go outside and be free with her friends and not asked about the details. I am afraid if she is putting herself in positions that may not be in best interest for the family. Any advice is welcome. Will the marriage work if I marry her? Or are the differences too stark for it to work?

Exactly. They really want to piss off people. Getting or not getting the jab is fine. Forcing others is not.

I needed advice on a particular topic at a time when I was overthinking and desperate and I got it. Thanks to everyone on this thread. But responding to every comment in this thread is inviting a reaction. Not a response. So I won't be doing it. Also there is nothing wrong with being in a "lower stage" . Spiral dynamics is not something to be taken as an absolute. It's really funny. Plenty of people at blue live fulfilling lives even better than orange or green, because of their commitment and discipline, which are much needed values for marriage and family. Pickup and having sex is all fun and games till you are 40. Now you need a stable marriage. It's sad to see many 40 year old woman waiting at bars to have some man come to them to fulfill their need for intimacy and connection. They slowly get pushed to the sidelines. Pickup works only fir a short period if time. I hope you see it. Note that you casting me as blue and saying that I have to "develop to a higher stage" is itself a *value* judgement. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you believe that blue is low value and that's why I need to increase my value.? In reality the only thing you need to change is toxic aspects of the stages. Which, surprisingly happens at every other stage. There is nothing toxic about *preferences*. About not wanting something. I am not obliged to explain my preferences either. About why I don't prefer something in my partner. I simply walk away. I prefer something over the other because that benifits my survival and my survival makes no sense to you because you are not me. And you do survival too. Quite impressively. And there is nothing wrong about it. Don't judge the survival values of others.

That's ok. I already admitted I don't know the details. Divorce is terrible no matter in whatever part of the world. That is not the only reasoning that mom mat have used. My point was that such a thing won't be happening even in poor partriachal families, atleast in where I live. Whenever a child is born, the family collectively works to acquire resources for the marriage of the child. Waiting that long is typical is families with working culture (orange) or hippie culture, you know, these independent types who keeps exploring. Anyways I wish your cousin all the best. Cheers.

Good. Mom made the correct choice. The probability of a divorce in second time marriages are quite higher than first time marriage. Divorce = Lose half of your net worth and pay child support and alimony for the rest of your life. (Don't know how it works in China) How about you see the validity of stage blue too? P.S there isn't anything partriachal about waiting till age 40+ to marry. Under strictly patriarchal societies marriage happens at around half that age lol. The guy couldn't find a girl he wants in his prime, so settled for anything he can get. The girl also probably knows that she may not get higher value men too. P.S don't be triggered when I say value. High value means higher chances of survival of yourself and your progeny. High chances of survival also attracts high demand which further increases the perceived value. It's all just a survival game in the end. Sorry for being too real.

At stage green cheating is not necessarily a bad thing. After all sexual needs are needs right. What if you can get your sexual needs satisfied by a person other than your spouse? What if someone other than your spouse can satisfy you even more sexually? There is no law in the universe which says you can have sex with your spouse only. If your spouse dosen't like it, you shouldn't care too much, since they may be toxic in preventing you from getting your needs satisfied. Can you really accept and embody it in real life? If your answer is not yes, then you are lower than stage green. You have a mere rubbing of stage green with aspects of blue/orange. Don't overestimate your development. Just a random food for thought.

Pretty bold of you to admit that you hate the west. Typical of Green. But why? You don't have to do this after studying spiral dynamics. The main point of SD is to see the *validity* of the lower stages and accept them for who they are. Living 500 years ago, if you didn't accept stage red, you would die. Stage red has some very valuable lessons and isn't something that must seen with resentment. Circumstances make people ideological. Ideologies don't create circumstances. If everyone is india is given the living standards that people enjoy in Sweden, trust me, most Indians will turn into feminist weed smoking hippies. ? But right now, the *circumstances* are too harsh to allow that. So most people do the things at different without a choice. Why should I be the leader? Because I don't see how a lot of girls approach me, take responsibility for planning dates, take me to places, be a pillar for emotional support etc. How can someone who can't even decide which place to eat be a leader?? Girls hate it when they have to make decisions. They may even feel creeped out when they have to make too many decisions. Girls are naturally submissive. That's just my observation. That makes me want to be the leader. Nature is not answerable to all your notions of equality. I am sorry. No matter how much hippy dippy you are, any collectivist institution will NOT survive without a strong leader. Can women take that role? Always welcome. But she maybe lowering prospects in her game of survival. So yeah. I had such a wonderful exchange with you. Thanks for being so nice.

1. I am not dumb enough to actually say to someone that has been raped as if they have lost their value. No that's not respectful. But people who have been victims of violent trauma, especially at tender ages develop lots of coping mechanisms which makes them blind to the truth. It's sad, and I completely understand the stage green need to protect the poor/victim/less powerful. But value is relative and not absolute. I am not saying their absolute value has diminished. But such people have to put more work to be functional like a normal human being. ( Given that the normal human being itself is a shit ton of emotional baggage running on patterns.) Even if they meet a therapist, the therapy work won't go smooth. They need years of slow opening up to reality and releasing the specific coping they took from the traumatic experience. I completely sympathise with it. But what I said is clearly thought out and explained. 2. Please don't make a strawman of stage blue as if they are to stone women to death for having expectations from the partner. Women serving men is necessary for the survival of the family. Man is the leader and woman is the follower. Women serve men. There isn't anything wrong with it. Some stage orange people will come at me for saying this. Ok what about people in west complying and obeying your corporate overlords ruining your health with 40+ hour work weeks living for a friday and kids being raised by strangers that you pay for. Isn't that toxic & unhealthy? Lol. Obeying a leader maybe oppression but that is necessary for the survival of the collectivist institution, be it marriage of corporation. Stage green/orange is not so great with respect to marriages and the west is in no position to advice blue societies on marriage. 50% of the kids in USA will see their parents seperate. (Primary reason being lack of commitment) The other 50% are probably partriachal marriages where man is in charge or highly functional/intelligent couples, where they know how to keep the marriage functioning while still maintaining decent individualistic freedom. But that's not most people. In a relationship that role of the woman is to follow and man must lead and show the way. Just because you don't obey the norm dosen't mean it's functional. P.S the body Count is a significant factor in the success of a marriage. You can check for research work online and higher body counts increase the chances for divorce. It's not regressive to want your kids to not see their parents seperate. I don't make the rules. I clearly explained my views in relation to already existing and accepted science. Cheers.?

1. Absolute infinity should include absolutely everything. 2.Absolute infinity must also include repetitions of the things included in the set of infinity. 3. If repetitions are absolute infinity, then distinctions must also exist in reality. Repetitions of the same thing have to be repeated twice or more means that comparison must be evaluated to produce the exact same thing twice. If you need to compare two things means that the distinction between the two things are a part of reality itself. SO either.... Distinctions are fundamental to reality and not arbitary human projections. OR Repetitions do not exist in reality, which makes reality not absolutely infinite. If repetitions exist, then the distinction that TWO THINGS ARE SAME exist as a fundamental feature of reality. If distinctions exist in reality, then reality is no longer non dual. Is this line of reasoning false?

So no repetitions allowed in absolute infinity...got it.??

The numbers do repeat. 1,11,111,1111....are all repetitions of the already existing numbers. You need not arbitrarily take the base 10 number system as absolute Take the base 1, or base 2 and base 10... repetitions of some form are necessary. I am not sure if I convey it correctly. It's very hard.

Lmao...i think so??

My only question is this: If reality is made up of nothing but distinctions/differences, is repetition of distinctions allowed in absolute infinity? If it doesn't, it isn't absolute infinity. If it does, then you can use diagonalisation proof to say that it cannot be absolutely infinite. "DONALD TRUMP" is a distinction in reality. Let's say a repetition of it also exists in reality. "DONALD TRUMP" exists twice, since the *same* distinctions is made twice. Can these two distinctions be perfectly same, ever without it being one "DONALD TRUMP". CAN THERE BE TWO DONALD TRUMP THAT IS PERFECTLY THE SAME. If yes, then the fact that there are two Trump is itself a distinction which can be repeated. So when I repeat it I get 4 "DONALD TRUMP". IF repeat it again then I get 16 DTs. There are an infinite number of configurations of same things, and more configurations of the things existing means that there has to be even more configurations that should but dosen't exist. More configurations of distinctions always means that some distinctions cannot exist. If they do, that will create new configurations. Because the new distinctions made is relative to the other distinctions and the whole thing repeated exactly as it is. You see the problem, no matter how big you get there is always a distinction that can be made, but is not made. Because making it will increase the possibility of another distinction which dosen't exist. If it does exist, by virtue of repetition, more configurations are possible which always don't exist. All of it is caused by repetitions. The only question you need to bother is: Do perfect repetition of distinctions exist in reality? IF the distinction is perfectly same, then it's actually one thing, and not two things. Does sameness exist, independent of differences? Can two things be perfectly same? [Repetition] If two things are perfectly same, without it being one thing, then they are different. So that would mean repetition isn't possible for absolute infinity. That wouldn't make it absolutely infinite. This is my only existential crisis. IF I haven't explained it well, I need some more time to think about it. I Will come back later to explain it better.

Does the same wave appear twice? If no, then why not? Absolute infinity must include all types of waves. If yes, then how is the distinction made. Does God make distinctions?

I have lost it.??

Yes compliance is a deal breaker. But all collectivist setup requires compliance. Schools and universities require compliance and obediance to the rules, or else they kick you out. So as the government. Even to exist in this forum requires compliance and obediance to the rules that Leo has made. Compliance or obediance is a feature in all collectivist instituition. Marriage is a collectivist instituiton and it's no exception. If the marriage has to succeed then there has to be compliance from the side of the woman. I am openly acceptiing it. Please forgive me. Don't selectively apply compliance to marriage to frame men as it all they want is to control the women. That is painting a strawman out of it. Compliance is required for success.

The kind of mental gymnastics people play here and pretend that they don't know is just hilarious to me. She will definitely compare you to the guys she fucked earlier. It's human nature. And women always want a better high status man with even more resources. So you have to be better than her ex, else she will feel bad that she had to settle for you. And you get a shitter version of her as she may need more from you else she becomes resentful. She will definitely think about it. Universally men prefer virgins. That's nature.

I don't judge her as a person. SHe is doing perfectly fine from her context and I accept it. SHe has the freedom to marry absolutely anyone. I don't object to it. "I hope if some man had nonconsensual sex with her, you woud not think it decreased HER value?" ok let me also be harsh here. Having sex with her without her consent is rape. If she is raped, she is traumatised for life. I have to hire a therapist to undo the damage. She won't be a as functional as she used to be, depending on how violent the rape was. The repressed trauma won't go away so easily. So atleast in theory her value is decreased. Harsh but true, You ask a lot of questions, and not so much explanations. I can't answer all your questions since they may require deeper explanations. Stereotypes have lots of truth inside them. Else they won't be used so popularly. Yes women are more dramatic and neurotic. Women range higher in the big 5 personality trait neuroticism. This is psychology. I am not repsonsible for any negative conotations you attach to these words. I stand by the technical definintion of these words, without needing to assign arbitary meanings to it. See man, you are thinking that truth lies in the middle to two relative things. Maybe you have ideological relativism. Women have more of some personality traits. Men and women are not equally emotional/neuoric/dramatic. There are sharp contrasts in the behaviour of men and women as a whole. Divorce courts do not equally favour men and women. It's in the favour of women 99% of the time. Men are hurt more from a divorce, his life savings halved in value and his kids taken away from him, since women win the custody battles most of the time. How about you accept these things too? I speak for 99% men atleast. I speak for everyone because, they are everyones survival values. Please let me know if you are willing to marry a 30 year old independent experienced women with 19 body count or a 23 year old inexperienced girl. The choice is easy for most men. Don't lie. I say I speak for men since they are survial values for most men. Its not my bias alone. No one is independent to survival biases. Hence I spoke. Thanks for your repsonse. I appreciate it.

How bout collapsing the distinction between fapping and not fapping? cheers man good luck.

See first of all everyone fails to see the ground reality in India. India is not a safe place. We have a corrupt police system. Things go downhill anytime real fast. So whenever we are out our parents ask for constant updates and ask us to come home early. It's because our safety is at stake here. It's very convenient for people who grew up in the west to say.."oh look a Neurotic stage blue nut case." Noone is asking for constant updates. But updates regarding where someone has went, who they are with is generally necessary. Because the circumstances here is the towns are such. After 8 PM there is minimal human activity, and it's generally not safe, especially for girls. One bad incident and you are traumatized for life. Few understand this. Anyway it still doesn't bother me. I wanted to speak to someone about the situation and wanted fresh perspectives to stop thinking the same things over and over. I have got it from this discussion and I am grateful for it, especially for the views critical of myself.

This is perfectly said. Thank you Hoarder.

If you live in blue societies you meet plenty of girls who saving them for marriage. To me it shows that they are *invested* into making the marriage work. Once she has sex with a man, it's because she has decided that he is her husband and nothing can seperate them. That gives structure and stability to marriage, and there is no comparing present partner with the past partner. [Humans can't stop instinctual comparisons, it's design by nature.] Am i being ideological about my expectations? Nope. I have decent self awareness.(atleast i think so) Do I consider it, given that I have options to choose girls that meets my expectations? Yes. And I speak for all men. No man will choose a non virgin if he has the choice to choose otherwise. This is true 100% of the time. Any man that tells you otherwise is blatantly lying.