Gregory1

@Zeroguy love you too. Wanna marry me?

Thank you<3

Hi @BenG Here are the trip reports: 1st trip: "Incredible Beauty and Perfection" https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/72818-first-time-psychedelics-incredible-beauty-and-perfection/#comment-1002977 2nd trip: "Tears falling. Becoming One with Everything" https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/73087-second-time-psychedelics-tears-falling-becoming-one-with-everything/#comment-1007026 Your questions: "you paint all this in a very positive light and it's awesome that you seem to have experienced it that way" I didn't experience it. "I" does not exist. And I am pure truth. I am god, I am "the experience." And so are you. It is pure truth. Always the case. Always the way it is. Forever so. It is literally true. You literally are god, infinite goodness, infinite beauty, infinite love, infinite perfection, infinite power, the entire fucking universe. There is nothing better you could hear and nothing greater you could be. It is literally goodness and positivity in a metaphysical sense. I'm curious, have you experienced any darker feelings of emptiness/meaninglessness as a result of these realizations? Any difficulty getting back into ordinary life after a God realization? I can't speak about this since I had my realization yesterday. However, I can anticipate what will happen in the following weeks and years and try to make an explanation. I'll come back in a month (at 24.11.) and update you on how I feel! What I think happens after this realization is, you realize that nothing you do in this human life is of ultimate significance. You could die tomorrow and everything would be fine. You can do whatever you want and god/life is good with it. My guess is, that people with "shitty lifes" could experience negative feelings after these realizations. Some people don't have friends, don't have nice jobs they like, don't have money, don't have a family, etc. etc. They would know after that experience that their life isn't a reflection of their true nature which is love, they would deeply know that god wouldn't judge them for throwing away their shitty lifes. So my guess is, that if you hate your life, if your life isn't aligned with who you want to be, if you don't have any friends, if you don't have people you love, if you don't do things you like on a day to day basis, the contrast between your life and the realization that you are god could make you nihilistic and you might stop caring about your situation and make it even worse that way. On the other hand what might happen is, you could realize that you can live any life you want. The realization of the fact that god will give you any life you want might make you actively seek to improve your situation which would lead to more optimism and a better feeling about life overall. Also losing your fear of death and losing fear in gereral might be a good thing for many people. For people who like their lifes and whose lifes are aligned with who they want to be, I think godrealization wouldn't do any bad. Knowing that they are Infinite Love, God, etc., can do whatever they want, etc. would be their cherry on top of the cake. Especially if they have the right intellectual framework to interpret their realizations which is what Leo gives us and does amazingly well. Luckily I fall more into the second category of people (as most people here on actualized.org do) which I think will make it very easy for me to go back to my "normal" life so to speak. However, God showed me that love is the only thing that matters in life and that I can literally do anything I want which will lead to long term changes in the way I go about things and live my life. But I don't think it will destabilize me, because of my mature psyche and because of my life situation which I am overall happy with. Conclusion: Work on your life - have people you love, do things you like, care for yourself, care for your health, study no-bullshit-spirituality for a few years, be grown up (at least 21) and you'll be ready for psychedelics / god-realization. Don'f force yourself to do it, only do it if you want to know truth, if you deeply care for truth. Oh yeah, and thank you for your compliment on my music channel, I appreciate it

You forgot an important factor here. Genetics. 5-Meo inside of you ≠ 5-Meo inside of Leo. Just because you didn't realize absolute truth on psyches, it doesn't mean it is impossible. From my psychedelic trips so far I'd say that psychedelics are the strongest and easiest tool to completely and effortlessly transform myself. From the books and studies I've read about psychedelics they clearly seem to be an incredibly effective tool for many people (healing depression, trauma - helping to deal with death, stopping addictions, etc.)

Depends..

@EntheogenTruthSeeker glad that I hepled you. It's really nessecary to chelate yourself to get better but that's great news, you'll GET better! I am also chelating and belive I know everything one needs to know to chelate well and responsibly. If you have specific questions about chelation / need help feel free to pm me:)

@Javfly33 That "I" that hates "the ego", what do you think that "I" is? It is your ego, indeed. Nothing is wrong with ego. Ego is a beautiful thing. Learn to love it and grow it into something that feels good. If you want to trancsend it you should really consider psychedelics. They are not all illegal, not that hard to get and they can transform you massively. At least be open minded to them, read the book "The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide." This book will clearly show you how psychedelics might be a way out of your misery. People with severe depression have been helped LONG TERM just by ONE psychedelic session.

PLEASE, OF COURSE it was directed at you. Nice explanation. I want everybodys perspective as long as they are genuinely interested in getting a better understanding of that topic.

This explanation is what makes the most sense to me so far...

Just wanted to drop an interesting observation here. I find this debate really fascinating and would be happy about more (constructive) comments. The observation: Yes, 90% of the spiritual leaders / gurus are male. But now think about their followers: 90% female. What's going on here?

Psychedelics

Nice to hear that you also had that experience. I think we should consider to take Michael Jacksons advice on making music / dancing seriously. If you want to make good art, no thinking is allowed. Only feeling. This aligns pretty well with the relaxation part. You simply relax and trust and feel and let god do the rest. Cheers!

Hey guys, Yesterday I had my second psychedelic trip ever and it was utterly deep and beautiful. I'd like to share it here because writing it out like that helps my narrow logical mind to make sense of it. Also I hope that some experienced trippers / conciousness workers might be able to help me in gaining insight on how to continue from here. I think I know now what I want from psychedelics. I want absolute truth. I am pretty sure now that they can show me absolute truth. And I have a feeling that absolute truth is the answer to all my questions, the cure for all my wounds, the mother for all my children and the most meaningful and beautiful thing one could ever imagine. (Sorry for becoming so metaphorical). If you read my report and have some ideas on how I might continue from here to gain more insight and continue my journey to absolute truth (in case absolute truth exists, don't know that yet but I believe it does) please comment down below. I really appreciate your feedback and it really helped me in the past. Final note: enjoy. Brainstorming - I thought my 1st trip with 100ug was profound. It wasn't. 150ug was so much more powerful, it was an absolute "breakthrough dose", the perfect dose for me. Tolerance seems to be gone for me after 1 week. Good to know. - No words or description, no explanation could ever describe the reality (that I experience on LSD). It is absolute beauty, absolute perfection and absolute completeness, I'm literally in paradise - At the beginning of the trip: I want to unite with everything, love everything in a physical sense. I embrace my table, the floor, the bed, just everything. I want to become one with it. I feel unpleasant feelings like coldness in my body and instead of trying to get rid of them I want to unite with them and accept them as they are - Every feeling and perception is incredibly intense and distinct. On the other hand, nothing is "really different" in comparison to my everyday state of conciousness, the colors look the same as always, the only difference is that movements draw slight streaks and that I perceive space (the 3 dimensions) slightly differently. My field of vision is a bit narrower than usual - High point: I am in the now. In the here and in the now. I burst into tears. The world I knew has disappeared. I have neither an idea of it, nor a memory of it. Nothing that people know in everyday life exists anymore. No logic, no time, no separation, no problems, no fear, no identity, no self, no doubts, pure beauty, pure perfection, pure completeness. Everything is perfectly complete, accepted, part of everything, everything is one - All the questions I wrote down before the trip seem meaningless in face of the absolute perfection of the here and now. No answer, no description could put into words the incredible completeness of the present moment. No question and no answer could add anything to the absolute perfection of the now - Everything becomes one, everything becomes me, there is no longer any separation between me and anything. My voice and my body are as much me as it is the ground or the rest of the world - The perfection, beauty, completeness is overwhelming, it is painful how beautiful everything is - Everything feels so perfect and complete that me jumping out the window and killing myself wouldn't matter - The problem with the here and now is, it's so perfect and complete that there are no problems - Everything I do, I do fully, 100%. I feel the need for fresh air and I tear open my window. I want to love the ground and try to embrace it hoping to become one with it physically. I have no doubt about anything anymore, nothing is thought about anymore - During the whole trip my body is extremely relaxed. All the muscles are loose, there is no tension, just the way it should be. The day after, I can relax my body in a way that I could never do before - I realize during the trip that I don't have to be afraid of anything. The only thing I could be afraid of is myself. And in view of the absolute beauty that is in everything (and therefore in me) it seems absurd to be afraid of anything - Coming out of the trip, playing the piano, I could clearly see that it is not me playing the piano. Impulses come out of nowhere into my hands, into my fingers that make them play the piano in a perfect way without my doing. I can fight against these natural impulses, interrupt the natural flow of "life" by trying to "play by myself" Things that seemed significant to me within the trip, that I wanted to give to my "normal" self: - One cannot emphazize strongly enough, how utterly important it is to love. I should love everything, simply everything without restriction - I really should know, that in the here and now everything is perfect and complete - The here and now is so perfect and complete that it allows everything. I am allowed to do anything I want. I am allowed to love and I am allowed to hate. None of this could make the here and now less perfect. I can just do whatever I want and everything is perfect. Interpretation of the trip/conclusion - I know absolutely NOTHING in my everyday consciousness. I am so closed and constricted in my view of reality in my everyday consciousness that it is hard to beat it in absurdity. - Psychedelics have an unbelievable, unimaginable power and an unbelievable, unimaginable potential to open people's eyes to realities whose existence they could not have imagined even in their wildest dreams - With absolute certainty, this experience was the most profound and beautiful experience of my life so far. I cannot imagine that any human experience (e.g. the birth of a child, or extremely good sex) could even come close to the absolute perfection and completeness I have experienced - I should try in future trips to really observe how I keep trying to "superimpose" rationalizations and subtle explanations/descriptions on my direct experience - I will try to meditate more often to see if I can find absolute beauty and perfection in the here and now even in the LSD-free state Questions whose answers I would like to know, but have not yet found with certainty: - Who am I really? Am I everything? - Does God exist? Have I experienced God? - Is it possible to reach states of consciousness that give one unquestionable knowledge? I guess not, the only way to unquestionability is probably to be free of doubts in the here and now - Can I trust a state of consciousness just because I am free of doubt IN THAT state of consciousness?

Mine: was mostly unhealthy. Mother was mentally unstable, way to emotional. My Mother needed emotional support from their kids way to much, anybody who thinks about getting kids, please think about your emotional maturity before you do that. Most Mothers are not ready to be good mothers, they simply don't know what to do with their lives so they get kids.

Hi @Rob06. Thanks and cool question. In general when doing any kind of coordinative activity like playing an instrument or engaging in sports it's super crucial to be as relaxed as possible and only use the muscles that are needed for that activity. Tension / non-relaxed muscles will cause friction and lead to movements being less precise, it will also slow down everything. This applies to any coordinative activity obviously it also applies to playing the piano. Also I would argue that there is a spiritual component to it. Let's call this thing god, for lack of a better word. It feels to me, that when I am playing piano god is showing me what exactly I should do. Not only is got "showing" me, no - god is moving my fingers FOR ME, WITHOUT MY DOING. This was always the case when playing the piano or making music - impulses are coming out of nowhere into me and "doing me" so to speak. To be open to gods intelligence however, I think that you have to be as relaxed as possible. God doesn't force its will upon you, so in a sense you have to completely surrender to it which happens when you fully relax your body and mind. So the degree to which you are able to be gods vessle so to speak directly correlates whith the degree of relaxation (physical and mental) you are able to embody. I've noticed, that this principle (at least for me) also applies in sports. In my trip this became 100% clear, although I already experienced these "states" without psychedelics. My body and my fingers simply started moving, without my doing. There is 0 doubt in my mind that I did anything. It was, as if some other person came from behind, took my hand and my fingers and moved it around for me. There was no me in that state, I simply became a vessle of god so to speak. (I'm using the word god here for lack of a better word. I'm not sure, weather or not god really "exists", I haven't t had a full god realization in any of my trips so far).

@Preety_India Thank you for your love and encouragement

Brother, you really should wait with psychedelics.

Thank you<3

Omg @Jakuchu thank you so much for making me laugh hard. This post was GOLD!

@AminB501 You have no idea how powerful this substance is. How old are you? If you're mature and really desire finding a way to get LSD you should be able to do that without my help.

Makes sense. I mean, how else would truth be accessible (assuming truth exists). The only "logical" way I could think of, how one could discover truth (assuming it exists) would be to be 100% free of doubt and "just see" so to speak

Thanks Leo for the advice. I'll do that and I really hope that you're right about that last sentence.

Thank you, I hope I'll be able to see that in my next trip!

If you're just talking about spiritual development here, sure, models are propably not needed. But if you want to intelligently navigate relativity.. Which is our everyday human state of consciousness, you better have some models in your pocket

@Godishere SD is a model to map out the psychological development of individuals and societies. Models are here for practical reasons. They help us to navigate our everyday life in an intelligent way. SD is a great, useful and very important model for that. Obviously though, no models could ever have anything to do with absolute truth / the highest possible insights.