Guywithshoes

I took 1g of MDA and another 1g 1 hour & 15 minutes later with a past gf and friend about 3 years ago. About 2 hours after first dose, I remember passionately singing out loud Black by Pearl Jam. Singing has always been a big fear of mine, and I immediately went to a dark void- almost a glimpse of death. I was able to let go of different layers of anxiety, experiencing full ego death. I kept going through higher states of consciousness and letting go and I got to the point where I felt that if I let go another step further, I knew my body would transcend. A massive sense of self worth came over me, knowing that if I let go, my mind would transcend but my body would stay. I felt a wild sense of compassion for all my loved ones- knowing that if I fully let go, my death would be known as an over dose and it would be traumatic for everyone in my life. I had to ability to transcend, but I decided to stay- for them. I woke up from the black void, to find my friends hugging me. I felt nothing but love and compassion. All my insecurities & anxieties vanished. I didn’t care about me anymore, I just cared about them. I saw all the insecurities and anxieties in them. I saw what holds them back from being the best version of themselves. I knew what they had to do in life to grow through their future life experiences to let go of what is holding them back. Shortly after, I started experiencing serious telepathy. My Gf was feeling nauseous and was stuck in embryo pose on the living room floor for quite some time. The house was silent. I remember being in the kitchen in my own head- thinking. My gf started talking. I instantly started thinking “what is she saying?”. She kept talking.... and I was very puzzled. She was answering out loud questions I was asking myself in my head. At first I was in disbelief... my mind was well... blown beyond blown by drugs. I started to test out the range of telepathy. I ran into the other room to see how far I could go. She kept answering my thoughts until I was so far away I couldn’t hear her. I remember laying with her and holding her on the living room floor. She continued answering all the questions in my head. She started to consume my mind and search through my past experiences, looking through all my childhood trauma, opening doors to any part of mind she desired. I remember her trying to get into my past relationships with girlfriends, sexual experiences and pornography tastes. I felt as though she was digging so deep she was crossing boundaries. Areas of my life I didn’t want her to have access to. She kept trying to get in. I started screaming in my head stop. She remained silent and still, but I knew she was still there. I started to feel different states of confusion for the remainder of the night. I remember taking a pain killer to fall asleep. We didn’t sleep long. I remember the drive home in the morning. We were sober but I still felt her in my mind. A sense of uncomfortableness was forever instilled in me, knowing she knew so much about me and I knew very little of her. From there on out I constantly felt her in my mind. We lasted about another year. I always felt like there was a part of her I didn’t know. She was so quiet all the time and had difficulty expressing her feelings. She was incapable of letting me inside of her head. There was a mental block and I think that’s what made her feel sick and locked in the heart closed embryo pose for 2 hours during our trip. All I wanted was in, to make the relationship last. I always wonder if it was just my inability to make her feel comfortable enough to express her feelings openly, because I myself am aloof and I don’t open easily. To this day I see the best and worst in everyone. I can read their feelings through their eyes. Even people I don’t know. It’s a blessing but a curse. All we can do is accept who we are and where our life is taking us in the present moment. Everything happens for a reason.

I took 1g of MDA and another 1g 1 hour & 15 minutes later with a past gf and friend about 3 years ago. About 2 hours after first dose, I remember passionately singing out loud Black by Pearl Jam. Singing has always been a big fear of mine, and I immediately went to a dark void- almost a glimpse of death. I was able to let go of different layers of anxiety, experiencing full ego death. I kept going through higher states of consciousness and letting go and I got to the point where I felt that if I let go another step further, I knew my body would transcend. A massive sense of self worth came over me, knowing that if I let go, my mind would transcend but my body would stay. I felt a wild sense of compassion for all my loved ones- knowing that if I fully let go, my death would be known as an over dose and it would be traumatic for everyone in my life. I had to ability to transcend, but I decided to stay- for them. I woke up from the black void, to find my friends hugging me. I felt nothing but love and compassion. All my insecurities & anxieties vanished. I didn’t care about me anymore, I just cared about them. I saw all the insecurities and anxieties in them. I saw what holds them back from being the best version of themselves. I knew what they had to do in life to grow through their future life experiences to let go of what is holding them back. Shortly after, I started experiencing serious telepathy. My Gf was feeling nauseous and was stuck in embryo pose on the living room floor for quite some time. The house was silent. I remember being in the kitchen in my own head- thinking. My gf started talking. I instantly started thinking “what is she saying?”. She kept talking.... and I was very puzzled. She was answering out loud questions I was asking myself in my head. At first I was in disbelief... my mind was well... blown beyond blown by drugs. I started to test out the range of telepathy. I ran into the other room to see how far I could go. She kept answering my thoughts until I was so far away I couldn’t hear her. I remember laying with her and holding her on the living room floor. She continued answering all the questions in my head. She started to consume my mind and search through my past experiences, looking through all my childhood trauma, opening doors to any part of mind she desired. I remember her trying to get into my past relationships with girlfriends, sexual experiences and pornography tastes. I felt as though she was digging so deep she was crossing boundaries. Areas of my life I didn’t want her to have access to. She kept trying to get in. I started screaming in my head stop. She remained silent and still, but I knew she was still there. I started to feel different states of confusion for the remainder of the night. I remember taking a pain killer to fall asleep. We didn’t sleep long. I remember the drive home in the morning. We were sober but I still felt her in my mind. A sense of uncomfortableness was forever instilled in me, knowing she knew so much about me and I knew very little of her. From there on out I constantly felt her in my mind. We lasted about another year. I always felt like there was a part of her I didn’t know. She was so quiet all the time and had difficulty expressing her feelings. She was incapable of letting me inside of her head. There was a mental block and I think that’s what made her feel sick and locked in the heart closed embryo pose for 2 hours during our trip. All I wanted was in, to make the relationship last. I always wonder if it was just my inability to make her feel comfortable enough to express her feelings openly, because I myself am aloof and I don’t open easily. To this day I see the best and worst in everyone. I can read their feelings through their eyes. Even people I don’t know. It’s a blessing but a curse. All we can do is accept who we are and where our life is taking us in the present moment. Everything happens for a reason.