mivafofa

My heart goes out for you... My parental situation was fairly similar to yours. I'm relieved you have a therapist. I didn't have the mean for it I had to become my own therapist. If you haven't started yet, "reparenting yourself" is a hard process to go through but so important

@Preety_India haha it seems we have different preferences Yes please.. Personally I don't like when they ask. I feel an impulse to say No. I'd prefer they man up and have the balls to take on a physical rejection. Even if I reject you, at least I can respect you, for all the courage it took. Of course they have to make sure eye contacts and social cues were made foremost, and that they're not kissing out of the blue when I was looking elsewhere. that's a nightmare. ..Ok no, now that's kinda rapey lol. More than likely she won't reject you out of pressure. Then spend the rest of the evening regretting it. 10-15 mins later is too soon. If I were to reject a kiss.. I either don't want you or don't want it today, let alone in 10 mins.

it's an attempt to assert one's superiority. it flatters the ego while providing amusement. It's quite silly I know.. I rarely meet people who has never ridiculed someone in their life (if not in real life, they do it online). I'm myself guilty of it. The only people I know personally who never ridicule anyone were Echoists.. it's kinda sad.

@Preety_India no worries. Ill take him when you dump him ? hihi Edit: edit

I am seduced ?

I guess you proved it to yourself

Yeah I re-read your comment right after I made mine and realized that's what you might have meant.. thx for confirming.

@Harlen Kelly it was a pointer to show how some men are just shooting themselves in the foot. Same as calling women slut if they sleep too much around. Guess what happens next? Women will be afraid to sleep around too much. Then men will complaint they can't manage to get laid. Lol @MatteO22 ?

As you grow, mature and change, so will your circles of friends. If you cannot relate to your what your friends are doing, maybe you're just in the wrong circle. There are many people who are into dancing, bongos, making videos, streaming, and self-actualization. You could probably relate to them.

@Shin you know it's these kind of statements that feed countless women's insecurity about their flat body they will get breast implant. Then you'll complaint she's fake. Yet if she puts it on, you'll complaint she's wearing too much makeup ?

I very much share your pov. Also, overcoming the suffering caused at the hands of these individuals drastically widen your perspective in life. Obviously it requires tremendous work on the self in order to do so, thus it's almost given that it's likely to build characters in depth and increase your love for life.

You can (try to) be grateful fools exist. For they contribute to the creation and emergence of smarter men. Similarly to this

..You don't understand gender dysphoria - what it's like and how it feels like, at all. I mean by no offense, but it sounds from this that you're likely the one who has a misconception about it. You can also easily claim many things are just a "belief" when it's not your experience nor your reality. It's true your detachement from a situation can help you understand the grand picture with less biases. But your detachment without having been through it can also cause you to misunderstand it thoroughly because you haven't live it yourself.

Purposely embarass yourself. Once your reputation is ruined, you're all free. Lol

Absolute agree. And I'm glad 1 man can see it. Those who oppose or feel resistant to this are usually men (unsurprisingly) who have a lack of understanding of how female psychology & sexuality work

by Andy Weir. it's a good one

@Chi_ that's really interesting I've never heard of the Ayurvedic Point of view. Ty Ill look into it.

And what's more about these groups is you don't need to explain to them what is a Nparent. They know, first hand. Also I noticed you quoted me before my edit. If you could check back i made some corrections and added more details~ thx. Good luck.

Yes these ones are on facebook. All that are written "visit" instead of "join" I basically joined already lol. They have been extremely helpful. The larger the group the better so you can have more varied feedbacks. Don't be afraid to post the same post in different groups to receive more responses. Also do you know your role around your narc parents? (Scapegoat, golden child or lost child) Would be usually clear if you have siblings.

I'm actually amazed you discovered their nature at only 16 and how much you manage to gain at that age despite being pulled down throughout your childhood. Usually NPD's children have normalized the abuse so much they don't know it's abnormal parenting until someone else point it out or they come across the term randomly and make the connection. So seriously props to you for such an early first step. So here I'm taking your words for it that both your parents have at least 5 traits of the 9 main characteristic of NPD. If you're parents are really narcs, then absolutely don't do this. It will never work. You're their retirement plan, a tool to be used for their benefits. Their needs comes before yours. Invalidate your individuality? Lol since when did that ever matter? Your individuality HAS to be invalidated for them to exploit you in full capacity. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but if your parents are really narcs, then that's how they work and you probably must've felt it. Clinging into hope they might change will be detrimental for your sanity, because they won't change. They would only give you the illusion of it. That's your best option... Do not mention moving out and plan your escape for the next 2 years. For me, I had to lie to them that I needed to get an appartment closer to the contract work next town and that I'll return in 3 months (never). I managed to convince them thanks to their obsession about money. At first not only they didn't want me to leave, they also wanted me to pay them half of my salary from this new job for having "raised" me. I said I needed to be trained to be certified first (more bullshit). Anyway... In conclusion, do whatever that needs to be done in order to escape. If you can go no contact eventually, it's the best. You need drastic measures for your situation. Soft measures can be dealt later. Any advices that encourage you talk it through with your parents, try to ease them through it, try to understand them, comes from ignorance about the full scale of NPD. And that's your cue to look for an actual npd support group instead. And thus my foremost suggestion to you would be to join a Children of Narcissist Parents Support groups. There are a bunch online (facebook, reddit, etc) and these crew could help you better than here because they really specialize in narcissist parental recovery. They could walk you through the process of moving out from a narcissistic parent. From my experience here, maybe few will know what you went through and know what to do, but it's just a few percentage. The majority of ppl here are privileged people who never really experienced some hardcore stage red abuse and will think they have transcended it and will give you dangerous advices inadequate for your situation. Mainly because the mind can rarely fathom what it hasn't experienced yet.

It's truly impressive, and what's more, the whole 2 hours are extremely well structured. The introduction to development, examples, to application, paradox and traps, twists, subtle nuances and what not. Really breaking it down in a continuous flow. Every video just leave me speechless like ?. At some point being mind blown just become the new norm. I brace myself at the start of every new video.

But it's not Ok. That would be sugarcoated bullshit. Then just what are you doing here and wanting to stay... why Yo seriously just... stop. I cant believe you're still projecting your crap onto him and blaming him this is getting absurd. You're the one hiding behind your screen, trying to smear and humiliate him, not taking accountability on anythg. Then you gonna pretend to agree and apologize to any critics, just to redo the same shit 2 mins later. This is going nowhere

I'm a big believer that imperfections we all have, but we also have compensation. And the more you lack in smthg, the more you're compensated elsewhere. You probably have smthg extremely unique, a strength or many, perhaps smthg that is so natural for you that you don't even consider it as a strength - so ingrained in you, you didn't even notice. I bet you oversee your exceptional qualities and disregard the greatness within you. Maybe appearance is just not where you need to focus anymore... Maybe look is just not your fight and you could try to learn to let it go. If you manage though, you could gain quite an advantage from the rest of us, because now you won't waste your time looking at the mirror like 90% of us are doing. You'd have more time, more focus and mental energy to make inner growth and/or work on some skillsets you want.

That's so fascinating indeed.. both races carries the physical traits you're not in tuned with yet the combination of these exact 2 just wake up your senses. Personally I always found mixed people the most beautiful. I hope you don't mind I wanna speak about my experience - I relate so much with what you mean by how weird life can smack you in the face. I always thought there were some basic characteristic traits that were absolute mandatory for me to feel attracted in someone. Some of them were being either skillful in smthg, or have passion in smthg. Non-judging, open-minded and also not be picky in food. Then one day... after several months of meeting and interacting with this stubborn funny friend and learning more about him and his quirks, I see myself falling in love with him and was drown in total confusion. This guy is not high conscious, nor health-orientated - he spends his evenings watching tv and playing video games; has no real purpose in life, is always judging (in a funny fashion), is picky in food, I was baffled! He's like the complete opposite of what I was always attracted to before and yet wow how I fcking love this dude. Everything that he is, the way he owns all his shortcomings I just mentioned. I love the way he's laid back and chillax just about everything, and has a certain way of seeing the world so differently, which is complementary to my worldview. I love how he's stubborn, reliable, blunt, decisive, funny and extremely detached. At first sight, he's like plain and boring. He's not even good-looking, he's out of shape and I found myself yearning to be intimate with him. Anyway, so that was a confusing and shocking experience for me. I'm still trying to make sense of it... I never felt so much love for someone who was just being plainly masculine and nthg else fancy with it - carrying none of the qualities I thought was important for me. That friend moved out of the country and I still miss him almost daily...

Travelling a lot and/or constantly moving out is a nice trick to force minimalism to happen